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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm in a bitch of a mood. My really productive day got hit with a blow of utter crapness. I'm sure I'm not the only one that's had a shit day.
So please tell... Your most embarrassing stories, your best jokes (the filthier the better) , or if you like you can just give me the most witty insults you have so I can use them on a certain person.
Or whatever else you think will amuse. No pressure |
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A guy is sitting in the doctor's surgery. The doctor walks in and says, ‘I have some bad news; I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating.’
‘But I don't understand, doc,’ the patient says. ‘Why?’
‘Because,’ the doctor says. ‘I'm trying to examine you!’
(Groan!!!) |
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"I'm in a bitch of a mood. My really productive day got hit with a blow of utter crapness. I'm sure I'm not the only one that's had a shit day.
So please tell... Your most embarrassing stories, your best jokes (the filthier the better) , or if you like you can just give me the most witty insults you have so I can use them on a certain person.
Or whatever else you think will amuse. No pressure "
What's at least 6 inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Took my friend to A &E . He accidentally drank some invisible ink.
He's still waiting to be seem"
OK that made me giggle a bit, I usually laugh at stupid stuff so you're winning so far. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm in a bitch of a mood. My really productive day got hit with a blow of utter crapness. I'm sure I'm not the only one that's had a shit day.
So please tell... Your most embarrassing stories, your best jokes (the filthier the better) , or if you like you can just give me the most witty insults you have so I can use them on a certain person.
Or whatever else you think will amuse. No pressure
What's at least 6 inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates? "
Have no idea |
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"I'm in a bitch of a mood. My really productive day got hit with a blow of utter crapness. I'm sure I'm not the only one that's had a shit day.
So please tell... Your most embarrassing stories, your best jokes (the filthier the better) , or if you like you can just give me the most witty insults you have so I can use them on a certain person.
Or whatever else you think will amuse. No pressure
What's at least 6 inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?
Have no idea "
A toothbrush |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Guys bursts into his local pub with a 44 Magnum and shouts
"Right where's the cunt who's been fucking my wife?"
The barman says "You ain't got enough bullets mate" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A guy goes to his doctor because he can see into the future. The doctor asks him, "How long have you suffered from that condition?"
The guy tells him, "Since next Monday." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Here is a Xmas joke hope you like
Santa gets to the first house and goes down the chimney a lady is say there with bra and panties on and said to Santa oh please would you stay the night he said Ho Ho Ho got to go and deliver more presents
Santa get to second house goes down chimney a lady is sat there with just panties and no bra and she said to Santa oh Santa please would you stay the night he said ho Ho Ho got to go and deliver more presents
Santa arrives at third house and goes down the chimney and a lady is completely naked and said to Santa oh Santa please would you stay the night and Santa said hey hey hey got to stay I can't get up the chimney with and Eric in the way |
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