FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What has fab taught you?
What has fab taught you?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I think we all learn a thing or two on fab over time...
My biggest learning curve was that I had to stop being so polite all the time.
I used to try to message EVERYONE back, even if it was to say thanks but no thanks, or answer a question, or say thank you for a compliment. Just my nature to reply if somebody had taken the time to message me.
I have stopped doing this now, because even a 'thanks but no thanks' seems to come across as an invitation to start a full blown conversation - which I then have to go through the rigmarole of ending if they are miles away or not what I am looking for etc.
I feel SOOOO rude deleting messages without replying, but it really is the lesser or two evils in most cases. Has definitely been a valuable lesson though and less hassle.
What have you learned on fab?? |
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"I think we all learn a thing or two on fab over time...
My biggest learning curve was that I had to stop being so polite all the time.
I used to try to message EVERYONE back, even if it was to say thanks but no thanks, or answer a question, or say thank you for a compliment. Just my nature to reply if somebody had taken the time to message me.
I have stopped doing this now, because even a 'thanks but no thanks' seems to come across as an invitation to start a full blown conversation - which I then have to go through the rigmarole of ending if they are miles away or not what I am looking for etc.
I feel SOOOO rude deleting messages without replying, but it really is the lesser or two evils in most cases. Has definitely been a valuable lesson though and less hassle.
What have you learned on fab?? I was like this too polite and answered everyone nicely even the ones that were not for us "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not to google things you read on forums.
Also.
What an Alabama hot pocket was.
"
NEVER GOOGLE ANYTHING FROM A FAB FORUM!
You can't un-google an Alabma hot pocket.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly, in 13 years, the biggest thing I've learned is to just be me. I used to try and dull myself down for others but through meeting people within the lifestyle/scene I've learned that actually, the people meant for me will love me as I am.
So you can all thank my fab friends for my gob  
Lu  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Firstly that I'm not invisible and secondly that sometimes it's perfectly fine to be invisible.
Also just to be myself and not follow the herd."
Always be you, nobody else does it better. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
That everyone on the internet is a fake catfish just wanting my sexy photos and sexts!
On the plus side my skill in dirty talking to all these women is increasing in leaps and bounds! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That everyone on the internet is a fake catfish just wanting my sexy photos and sexts!
On the plus side my skill in dirty talking to all these women is increasing in leaps and bounds!"
Plze send dirty talk and noods. I am not 72 year old kazakhstanian man called olaf, I am sexy woman. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
You can't un-google an Alabma hot pocket.
Fab has taught me there's always new things to find out.
As shown by this example
"
Please tell us you didnt Google it?! There was a disclaimer and everything!
Note: we are not responsible for any mental trauma incurred from googling this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Similar to the body confidence post but I've learned how to take decent pictures of myself that paint me in a good light. I can't say I ever took body pics or selfies before joining here so it's been a great experience.
Oh, and I also found out what munging is  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Love how much confidence people have gained here. It is amazing how much this scene does for you in so many senses.
And how many new words we learn along the way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
You can't un-google an Alabma hot pocket.
Fab has taught me there's always new things to find out.
As shown by this example
Please tell us you didnt Google it?! There was a disclaimer and everything!
Note: we are not responsible for any mental trauma incurred from googling this. "
It's fine lol
I have a strong stomach, I've seen worse  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have to keep a sense of humour and say your prayers before you go to bed."Dear god, please please please, let a sexy couple and a hot sexy single female message to say, WOW your a handsome fit fella with a body to die for,fancy playing with us/me. Also dear god, I can hear you laughing WTF " |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we all learn a thing or two on fab over time...
My biggest learning curve was that I had to stop being so polite all the time.
I used to try to message EVERYONE back, even if it was to say thanks but no thanks, or answer a question, or say thank you for a compliment. Just my nature to reply if somebody had taken the time to message me.
I have stopped doing this now, because even a 'thanks but no thanks' seems to come across as an invitation to start a full blown conversation - which I then have to go through the rigmarole of ending if they are miles away or not what I am looking for etc.
I feel SOOOO rude deleting messages without replying, but it really is the lesser or two evils in most cases. Has definitely been a valuable lesson though and less hassle.
What have you learned on fab?? "
The same as you!
And to be more cautious of profiles on here. I'm so cautious now. |
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By *igmaMan
over a year ago
Yorkshire |
It’s just a website
I’ve not taken it seriously for years. It’s there to use... if I find people that are interested in me. I‘be always had more success through other means. Those things have probably taught me more about who I am and what I like! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we all learn a thing or two on fab over time...
My biggest learning curve was that I had to stop being so polite all the time.
I used to try to message EVERYONE back, even if it was to say thanks but no thanks, or answer a question, or say thank you for a compliment. Just my nature to reply if somebody had taken the time to message me.
I have stopped doing this now, because even a 'thanks but no thanks' seems to come across as an invitation to start a full blown conversation - which I then have to go through the rigmarole of ending if they are miles away or not what I am looking for etc.
I feel SOOOO rude deleting messages without replying, but it really is the lesser or two evils in most cases. Has definitely been a valuable lesson though and less hassle.
What have you learned on fab??
The same as you!
And to be more cautious of profiles on here. I'm so cautious now. "
This for me too^^
Plus I've started blocking, particularly the persistent annoying one's! |
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"Not to google things you read on forums.
Also.
What an Alabama hot pocket was.
NEVER GOOGLE ANYTHING FROM A FAB FORUM!
You can't un-google an Alabma hot pocket. "
Or a Blumpkin (seriously, don’t go there)
One thing this place has taught me (in 10 or so years) is just - don’t lose any sleep over any of it. What will be, will be. It’s meant to be fun after all, right? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not to google things you read on forums.
Also.
What an Alabama hot pocket was.
NEVER GOOGLE ANYTHING FROM A FAB FORUM!
You can't un-google an Alabma hot pocket.
I KNOW THAT NOW
 "
And I don't even know what this even means?? Lol |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
That i'm a man tart
An incorrigible flirt
More appealing than I previously imagined
Jealousy and possessiveness have largely become foreign concepts to me.
Still discovering as I go along  |
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"I think we all learn a thing or two on fab over time...
My biggest learning curve was that I had to stop being so polite all the time.
I used to try to message EVERYONE back, even if it was to say thanks but no thanks, or answer a question, or say thank you for a compliment. Just my nature to reply if somebody had taken the time to message me.
I have stopped doing this now, because even a 'thanks but no thanks' seems to come across as an invitation to start a full blown conversation - which I then have to go through the rigmarole of ending if they are miles away or not what I am looking for etc.
I feel SOOOO rude deleting messages without replying, but it really is the lesser or two evils in most cases. Has definitely been a valuable lesson though and less hassle.
What have you learned on fab?? "
Well I’ve just learned that you’re really pretty op! 
I’ve also learned that sex with the right partners can be bloody AMAZING - and that there a lot of great friends to me made on here too! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well I’ve just learned that you’re really pretty op!
I’ve also learned that sex with the right partners can be bloody AMAZING - and that there a lot of great friends to me made on here too! "
Ah shush, I am blushing now 
Totally agree, there are some phenomenal people around here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All of the above,
But also sadly how incredibly judgemental members of a site for swingers can be on the forums, when naively I would have expected this to be a super open place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab has taught me the meaning of the term, Munging.
I am forever grateful for this wondrous knowledge..."
YOU! You're the one that put that plague into my mind in the first place! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we all learn a thing or two on fab over time...
My biggest learning curve was that I had to stop being so polite all the time.
I used to try to message EVERYONE back, even if it was to say thanks but no thanks, or answer a question, or say thank you for a compliment. Just my nature to reply if somebody had taken the time to message me.
I have stopped doing this now, because even a 'thanks but no thanks' seems to come across as an invitation to start a full blown conversation - which I then have to go through the rigmarole of ending if they are miles away or not what I am looking for etc.
I feel SOOOO rude deleting messages without replying, but it really is the lesser or two evils in most cases. Has definitely been a valuable lesson though and less hassle.
What have you learned on fab?? "
To be the person l'm more relaxed and comfortable with being. |
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"Fab has taught me the meaning of the term, Munging.
I am forever grateful for this wondrous knowledge...
YOU! You're the one that put that plague into my mind in the first place!"
Er.....can I plead the 5th amendment? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That women are more straight down the line than men, less prone to bullshit and probably less complicated
Or conversely they're not "
But they are, especially on here. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"That women are more straight down the line than men, less prone to bullshit and probably less complicated
Or conversely they're not
But they are, especially on here."
My tongue was slightly in my cheek but I do think it can be equally applied to both genders - there are plenty of men and women who fit that description, but there are also plenty on both sides who are not quite the picture they'd have you believe |
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"Not to google things you read on forums.
Also.
What an Alabama hot pocket was.
NEVER GOOGLE ANYTHING FROM A FAB FORUM!
You can't un-google an Alabma hot pocket. "
I'm guessing that you've just Googled it like I just did. Now I wish I'd followed the advice given. |
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That I'm allowed to be fabulous, to be who i want to be just for myself, not for anybody else. And that some people will be fine with that, but some will hate me because (though they won't admit it) they realise I'm enjoying my life more than they are. |
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"That I'm allowed to be fabulous, to be who i want to be just for myself, not for anybody else. And that some people will be fine with that, but some will hate me because (though they won't admit it) they realise I'm enjoying my life more than they are."
Oh ain't that the truth  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we all learn a thing or two on fab over time...
My biggest learning curve was that I had to stop being so polite all the time.
I used to try to message EVERYONE back, even if it was to say thanks but no thanks, or answer a question, or say thank you for a compliment. Just my nature to reply if somebody had taken the time to message me.
I have stopped doing this now, because even a 'thanks but no thanks' seems to come across as an invitation to start a full blown conversation - which I then have to go through the rigmarole of ending if they are miles away or not what I am looking for etc.
I feel SOOOO rude deleting messages without replying, but it really is the lesser or two evils in most cases. Has definitely been a valuable lesson though and less hassle.
What have you learned on fab?? "
Sorry you went through that, if someone tells me they're not interested I simply say thanks and have a lovely day. |
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By *nooshWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"To be more body confident "
Absolutely this xx
That while I'm not everyone's taste, there are plenty out there that find me attractive. The drip feed of nice comments is finally getting through to my brain after so many years of belittling myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think what I've learnt is keep your standards high, don't get drawn in the mid with those who like to poay there and have thick skin and don't take things personally.
Also be careful on meets and don't take it personal if you get stand up etc and most importantly or maybe I'm reiterating this a bit, but ppl will get upset at you and call you names for the silliest of reasons but you need to learn to know how to ignore.
Case in point a couple msged me about a status I had up about Trump, I told them I'm not an fan of Biden either but given the choice he's much better than Trump. They said I have to be foolish to think that and then said how Trump did more for black America than Obama.
I honestly didn't want to engage with them much on the topic tbh so I dissented with them and told them have a good day and they decided to try and say things to get under my skin and my reply was again, " have a lovely day" kill them with kindness it confuses them. |
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That by meeting loads of people whom you have no clue about, you’ve got to be clear with your boundaries and be firm when someone crosses them. To keep my guard up and trust my gut. That many can't take rejection very well.. that I'm glad I never joined this with any expectations!  but mostly if done right swinging can be extremely fun and rewarding |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That it seems guys lie more and more and women trust less and less. Whatever happened to giving an honest representation of yourself and getting some sex with people that actually like the real you? If you can't be honest then fuck off cause you're ruining it for the rest of us. |
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By *ED00Woman
over a year ago
South Devon... Torbaydos |
"That there are men that want to fuck a fat girl
"
I hear you sister lol
That's the biggest thing I've learned. Fab has worked wonders for my confidence. Ive learnt a lot more though.
That my hang ups are just that... my hang ups.
If I do meet a guy and I have sex with him, just because he says "this was fun let's do it again" dosent mean he means it and that it's not me its him and his stuff. Take it for what it is... a bit of fun on on what could of been an other wise dull weekend.
Not to over think things.
Not to be so bloody "nice" of course your not going to hurt their feelings if you dont reply or say no thank you. You dont know them and its words on a screen !!!
And lastly that I'm having a bit of fun I'm not turning into the local tramp. I've got no one to answer to but myself.
Happy Fabbing folks xx |
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It has taught me that growing old can be fun. There was a point in my life where i thought i would never have sex again but all changed when i started swinging. Walking into that first club was the best move i have ever made. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That it seems I am attractive to trans members. If I was that way inclined, I'd be getting plenty of action. I mentioned this to one and he called me a tranny magnet which amused me haha
Also TV/TS covers a broad gamut of individuals from a pre-op transexual with a toned smooth body and quite magnificent boobs, to an overweight hairy lorry driver shoehorned into his wife's bra and knickers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That:
1. Lots of men like watching my others half’s tits
2. Some men in chat are extremely rude to women in chat (talking to my other half, not me)
3. Most women in my area either want a giant cock or a relationship
4. Sending messages to women seems pointless as most of them don’t reply anyway
5. There are some fucking hot women out there! |
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"Not to google things you read on forums.
Also.
What an Alabama hot pocket was.
NEVER GOOGLE ANYTHING FROM A FAB FORUM!
You can't un-google an Alabma hot pocket. "
curiosity got the better of me - not something on my to do list |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It has taught me that growing old can be fun. There was a point in my life where i thought i would never have sex again but all changed when i started swinging. Walking into that first club was the best move i have ever made."
This! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That there are hundreds of ways to enjoy sex and not to be afraid of trying stuff.
Oh, and that people can really surprise you (and not always in a good way!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think we all learn a thing or two on fab over time...
My biggest learning curve was that I had to stop being so polite all the time.
I used to try to message EVERYONE back, even if it was to say thanks but no thanks, or answer a question, or say thank you for a compliment. Just my nature to reply if somebody had taken the time to message me.
I have stopped doing this now, because even a 'thanks but no thanks' seems to come across as an invitation to start a full blown conversation - which I then have to go through the rigmarole of ending if they are miles away or not what I am looking for etc.
I feel SOOOO rude deleting messages without replying, but it really is the lesser or two evils in most cases. Has definitely been a valuable lesson though and less hassle.
What have you learned on fab?? "
That there are a lot of septic personalities on here.
That bullying is also evident, where certain people try to drive the narrative of a thread and make it about them and eventually the original thread subject gets swallowed up.
There are some pretty self involved people on here.
Thankfully, these area minority in a community of wonderful, accepting people.
 |
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That lying is "normal"
That many many people have underlying issues
That those that don't arrive here with issues, often leave tainted.
That not everyone who's nice to you is doing so to be nice. Some right fucking venomous snakes.
There are those that not only prey on the vulnerable, but actively seek them out.
That sex, whilst enjoyable at the time can be incredibly destructive and many use it as a plaster
On the plus side.
The forums can be a huge source of support
You can make lifelong friends
Some find soulmates (that aren't cheating fantasists)
Organised socials are ace.
Not everyone is a cunty cunt, there are some good cunts out there
That I don't need validation from others to know I have a good heart.
That I don't need validation from others to feel special
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
You can find love in the weirdest of places.
Take everything a person says with a pinch of salt but don't lose faith - I've met some incredible people over the years.
Leagues are a pile of crap and those who subscribe to the leagues/rating out of 10 idea aren't really for me. People like what they like, not because of leagues.
Being poly is awesome and that's not something I thought I'd ever, ever learn from being on a swingers site ever. Ever.
Who I am is more than enough for the right people, I don't need to mould myself to try and be something I'm not for those who couldn't care less. I do need to have more confidence in who I am.
No cocks are worth losing a good friendship over. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab has eliminated my shyness and allowed me to push my boundaries and meet some incredibly sexy females/couples I would never previously of had the confidence to talk too. Also threesome fun shows that loving relationships can also include an extra 'pair of hands ' to inhance an already sexy relationship.
To the 2% of rude effers I have come across {finger up the bottom emoji}
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That no means no and it most definitely means no and then it means your blocked x
Love this x "
I’m also wondering what the limit is on the block list ? |
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"Not to google things you read on forums.
Also.
What an Alabama hot pocket was.
NEVER GOOGLE ANYTHING FROM A FAB FORUM!
You can't un-google an Alabma hot pocket. "
Yep, hard lesson learnt today. Couldn't help myself though. Had to find out!! And really wish I hadn't gone there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be very very careful who you give your number out too , to check veris then check the people who have veri them . People can be equally nice and nasty . Lots of fakes and scam artists . That a lot guys with fake women’s or couples accounts are probably speaking to just as many fakes so having lots of guy on guy chat lol . That more is defo merrier and lastly not too take fab too seriously |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That some women are inscrutable. Such as the ones that message me first with a friendly greeting, then when I try to reply it says I'm blocked. "
Why do people do that? What's the point? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be very very careful who you give your number out too , to check veris then check the people who have veri them . People can be equally nice and nasty . Lots of fakes and scam artists . That a lot guys with fake women’s or couples accounts are probably speaking to just as many fakes so having lots of guy on guy chat lol . That more is defo merrier and lastly not too take fab too seriously "
I never give my number out. I use kik until I'm meeting them, and I haven't met anyone in a very long time |
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"Overall a pretty positive experience then?? Really nice to read some nice things with all the doom and gloom in the world lately. "
Ive only had a positive experience on fab. No timewasters,cancellations or no shows. Ive only met really lovely guys and i dont get abuse.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That some women are inscrutable. Such as the ones that message me first with a friendly greeting, then when I try to reply it says I'm blocked.
Why do people do that? What's the point?"
I use kik as well , but was caught out a few times even when being very careful . Overall great experience though and met some brilliant ladies and couples |
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