FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > A QUESTION FOR THE MEN OF FAB
A QUESTION FOR THE MEN OF FAB
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By *eo OP Man
over a year ago
Sutton-In-Ashfield |
Do most conversations with women on here all go the same way. Two weeks of just general chitchat bullshit with them teasing you just enough to keep you hanging on given them enough attention and praise to boost there ego. Then as you try to bring up the idea of a meet up more and more they just ignore the questions or answer around them eventually being ghosted as then move onto the next bloke. or is it just fucking me lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not really talking about the last six months im talking about since fab began ha ha"
Why does your profile say 22 hours ago you are looking for a meet?
That is one profile I’d steer clear of as it’s breaking the rules! |
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By *razy-88Man
over a year ago
Belfast-carlingford |
"Do most conversations with women on here all go the same way. Two weeks of just general chitchat bullshit with them teasing you just enough to keep you hanging on given them enough attention and praise to boost there ego. Then as you try to bring up the idea of a meet up more and more they just ignore the questions or answer around them eventually being ghosted as then move onto the next bloke. or is it just fucking me lol"
Maybe they are taking their time to figure out if they want to meet you or not. There is profiles on here I like chatting to but doesn’t mean I want to meet up with them.
Try not to think of it as a tease or a negative but that they enjoy talking to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not really talking about the last six months im talking about since fab began ha ha"
When Fab began you had to message by smoke signal or carry pigeon, if I was speaking to a woman in Scotland replies used to take 6 months, by then I’d already been divorced twice. |
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I'll know when or if I'm ready or wanting to meet.
When it keeps getting brought up I'll go cold because I then start to feel like my vag is the thing they're actually interested in rather than the human it's attached to, and the chat is part of a big game and I don't really matter. |
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By *eo OP Man
over a year ago
Sutton-In-Ashfield |
Well I get that but when they’re sending you pictures of the vag and in sexy underwear wanting the attention but then zero communication on meets weeks later it says a lot about them |
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"Well I get that but when they’re sending you pictures of the vag and in sexy underwear wanting the attention but then zero communication on meets weeks later it says a lot about them"
If you press reply + quote (bottom right) people will be able to work out more easily who you're replying to.
Maybe their horn ran off.
Maybe they're really a man who's lifted some pics off the net.
Maybe you said something that turned them off.
Maybe they don't want to meet people who take risks with their own and other peoples health by meeting during restrictions.
Many reasons.
I have gone cold on someone I was speaking to and getting on with because of their views on smacking kids that I saw on a thread. Any old shit can happen. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Thing is OP - some people you'll connect with and sustain a conversation with for weeks, months even years in some instances (and I've done all those here), some people you'll chat to for a while and realise they're not for you, or they realise the same about you, some people will see someone shinier and their attention will shift, and many other possible circumstances.
Personally I don't make my whole reason for being here about meeting, never have even before COVID, I interact with people and if we get on sufficiently well over a period of time, only then, if it feels right, will meeting be discussed - hasn't failed me yet. |
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By *eo OP Man
over a year ago
Sutton-In-Ashfield |
"Well I get that but when they’re sending you pictures of the vag and in sexy underwear wanting the attention but then zero communication on meets weeks later it says a lot about them
If you press reply + quote (bottom right) people will be able to work out more easily who you're replying to.
Maybe their horn ran off.
Maybe they're really a man who's lifted some pics off the net.
Maybe you said something that turned them off.
Maybe they don't want to meet people who take risks with their own and other peoples health by meeting during restrictions.
Many reasons.
I have gone cold on someone I was speaking to and getting on with because of their views on smacking kids that I saw on a thread. Any old shit can happen."
All those reasons are perfectly fine to not want to meet up, but why just ghost a guy? why not actually explain that to them and if they get Marcy then block them. As these women will be the first ones to moan like fuck when they receive cut-and-paste messages or that blokes just don’t put in the time and effort anymore. maybe it’s because they’ve been doing that for years and just ghosted by women who just decide they’re not interested anymore with zero explanation. I think male and females would have a better time on here if everyone was just honest and open. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I get that but when they’re sending you pictures of the vag and in sexy underwear wanting the attention but then zero communication on meets weeks later it says a lot about them
If you press reply + quote (bottom right) people will be able to work out more easily who you're replying to.
Maybe their horn ran off.
Maybe they're really a man who's lifted some pics off the net.
Maybe you said something that turned them off.
Maybe they don't want to meet people who take risks with their own and other peoples health by meeting during restrictions.
Many reasons.
I have gone cold on someone I was speaking to and getting on with because of their views on smacking kids that I saw on a thread. Any old shit can happen.
All those reasons are perfectly fine to not want to meet up, but why just ghost a guy? why not actually explain that to them and if they get Marcy then block them. As these women will be the first ones to moan like fuck when they receive cut-and-paste messages or that blokes just don’t put in the time and effort anymore. maybe it’s because they’ve been doing that for years and just ghosted by women who just decide they’re not interested anymore with zero explanation. I think male and females would have a better time on here if everyone was just honest and open. "
I feel your pain Op and I’m sending you hugs...
I think you need to learn a few new phrases to catch these women before they ghost you....
“ I don’t care that your pictures are old and misleading , I like your personality “
“ I’m not really a swinger, and I’m looking for a long term relationship “
“ I’ve never felt this connection with anyone in my life , I think it’s destiny that we met “
“ I can’t believe I would meet such a beautiful, smart and caring person on a swinging site. You’re one in a million “
“ I think I’m falling in love with you before we have met , imagine how we will feel after we meet “
I hope these help you out......
|
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"Do most conversations with women on here all go the same way. Two weeks of just general chitchat bullshit with them teasing you just enough to keep you hanging on given them enough attention and praise to boost there ego. Then as you try to bring up the idea of a meet up more and more they just ignore the questions or answer around them eventually being ghosted as then move onto the next bloke. or is it just fucking me lol"
In answer to your question
I find they go quite or throw a strop when I tell them I wont be meeting for some while |
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By *eo OP Man
over a year ago
Sutton-In-Ashfield |
"Well I get that but when they’re sending you pictures of the vag and in sexy underwear wanting the attention but then zero communication on meets weeks later it says a lot about them
If you press reply + quote (bottom right) people will be able to work out more easily who you're replying to.
Maybe their horn ran off.
Maybe they're really a man who's lifted some pics off the net.
Maybe you said something that turned them off.
Maybe they don't want to meet people who take risks with their own and other peoples health by meeting during restrictions.
Many reasons.
I have gone cold on someone I was speaking to and getting on with because of their views on smacking kids that I saw on a thread. Any old shit can happen.
All those reasons are perfectly fine to not want to meet up, but why just ghost a guy? why not actually explain that to them and if they get Marcy then block them. As these women will be the first ones to moan like fuck when they receive cut-and-paste messages or that blokes just don’t put in the time and effort anymore. maybe it’s because they’ve been doing that for years and just ghosted by women who just decide they’re not interested anymore with zero explanation. I think male and females would have a better time on here if everyone was just honest and open.
I feel your pain Op and I’m sending you hugs...
I think you need to learn a few new phrases to catch these women before they ghost you....
“ I don’t care that your pictures are old and misleading , I like your personality “
“ I’m not really a swinger, and I’m looking for a long term relationship “
“ I’ve never felt this connection with anyone in my life , I think it’s destiny that we met “
“ I can’t believe I would meet such a beautiful, smart and caring person on a swinging site. You’re one in a million “
“ I think I’m falling in love with you before we have met , imagine how we will feel after we meet “
I hope these help you out......
"
Ok thanks a lot for putting that much effort into replying to my post, appreciate it. shouldn’t really have to go through this much effort though should we lol ??. Like I said in a previous reply. I think women should really say guy to why there not interested, just let them straight, if he’s not a big boy and can’t take it just block him. It just forms more of the same kind of blokes that they don’t like to begin with other wise. But just my opinion |
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"Do most conversations with women on here all go the same way. Two weeks of just general chitchat bullshit with them teasing you just enough to keep you hanging on given them enough attention and praise to boost there ego. Then as you try to bring up the idea of a meet up more and more they just ignore the questions or answer around them eventually being ghosted as then move onto the next bloke. or is it just fucking me lol"
Most conversations dont go like this for me.
Either i get no reply, which is fine, better then wasting each others time or i have great convos that last forever.  |
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By *igmaMan
over a year ago
Yorkshire |
It does seem to be a two week window. I don’t like going beyond that unless it’s intermittent flirting from time to time. Be mindful that you’re not the only person someone is talking to at any one time! ...and their interest might be focused somewhere else. If that’s the case forget about it and move on. Focus on people that seem interested in you! |
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I leanet a long time ago fab is controlled by women, I never ask to meet unless the subject is brought up by them, if after a week or so of regular messages through the and night I may suggest a social if they avoid it straight away then I just don't bother to reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not really talking about the last six months im talking about since fab began ha ha
Why does your profile say 22 hours ago you are looking for a meet?
That is one profile I’d steer clear of as it’s breaking the rules! "
our thoughts to |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
Maybe they weren't enjoying the chat as much as you? Perhaps they decided against meeting with you for whatever reason? Maybe they were going to meet someone else? Perhaps they were just chatting to be polite, who knows OP? |
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"I leanet a long time ago fab is controlled by women, I never ask to meet unless the subject is brought up by them, if after a week or so of regular messages through the and night I may suggest a social if they avoid it straight away then I just don't bother to reply. "
the women don't control my fab experience  |
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You say on your profile that you’re a big boy and can handle rejection .. yet you start a thread whinging about rejection.
Maybe change the type of woman you talk too, I wouldn’t put too much pressure on anyone in these times to be honest.
Good luck any-hew x |
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We're probably in the group of people you're talking about also, the leap from "you're alright to chat to" to "someone I want to fuck" is pretty huge.
I've personally chatted with tons of people at a bar that I've had no intention of sleeping with, you've gotta treat it like that and until something is solidified it's still just getting to know them/building a rapport. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not really talking about the last six months im talking about since fab began ha ha"
But you say on your profile that youve been here before and made many friends
So obvs not all convos 'fizzle out' |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I leanet a long time ago fab is controlled by women, I never ask to meet unless the subject is brought up by them, if after a week or so of regular messages through the and night I may suggest a social if they avoid it straight away then I just don't bother to reply. "
No-one controls Fab (apart from admin/mods of course) and the only person that controls my experience of Fab is me.
Yes there are more men than women and it's an understandable assumption to make to think that as a result women call the shots - however ask any woman here if they honestly think they do, and can find what they're looking for at the click of a finger and at least 90% will say no.
The thing is the only people that call the shots are the individual users themselves who have control of their individual profiles it's them that make or break their experience of the site, not other people.
If you actually take away the guys that don't "get" the site and who think they only have to have a profile to get meets/sex, and the numbers are a lot more evenly balanced - so the choice, and therefore control is a lot more limited for women than you might think. |
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"Well I get that but when they’re sending you pictures of the vag and in sexy underwear wanting the attention but then zero communication on meets weeks later it says a lot about them
If you press reply + quote (bottom right) people will be able to work out more easily who you're replying to.
Maybe their horn ran off.
Maybe they're really a man who's lifted some pics off the net.
Maybe you said something that turned them off.
Maybe they don't want to meet people who take risks with their own and other peoples health by meeting during restrictions.
Many reasons.
I have gone cold on someone I was speaking to and getting on with because of their views on smacking kids that I saw on a thread. Any old shit can happen.
All those reasons are perfectly fine to not want to meet up, but why just ghost a guy? why not actually explain that to them and if they get Marcy then block them. As these women will be the first ones to moan like fuck when they receive cut-and-paste messages or that blokes just don’t put in the time and effort anymore. maybe it’s because they’ve been doing that for years and just ghosted by women who just decide they’re not interested anymore with zero explanation. I think male and females would have a better time on here if everyone was just honest and open.
I feel your pain Op and I’m sending you hugs...
I think you need to learn a few new phrases to catch these women before they ghost you....
“ I don’t care that your pictures are old and misleading , I like your personality “
“ I’m not really a swinger, and I’m looking for a long term relationship “
“ I’ve never felt this connection with anyone in my life , I think it’s destiny that we met “
“ I can’t believe I would meet such a beautiful, smart and caring person on a swinging site. You’re one in a million “
“ I think I’m falling in love with you before we have met , imagine how we will feel after we meet “
I hope these help you out......
"
Oh crikey 
All of these would have me running for the hills faster than Mr Bolt  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I leanet a long time ago fab is controlled by women, I never ask to meet unless the subject is brought up by them, if after a week or so of regular messages through the and night I may suggest a social if they avoid it straight away then I just don't bother to reply.
No-one controls Fab (apart from admin/mods of course) and the only person that controls my experience of Fab is me.
Yes there are more men than women and it's an understandable assumption to make to think that as a result women call the shots - however ask any woman here if they honestly think they do, and can find what they're looking for at the click of a finger and at least 90% will say no.
The thing is the only people that call the shots are the individual users themselves who have control of their individual profiles it's them that make or break their experience of the site, not other people.
If you actually take away the guys that don't "get" the site and who think they only have to have a profile to get meets/sex, and the numbers are a lot more evenly balanced - so the choice, and therefore control is a lot more limited for women than you might think."
 |
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By *k82Man
over a year ago
Walthamstow |
"Do most conversations with women on here all go the same way. Two weeks of just general chitchat bullshit with them teasing you just enough to keep you hanging on given them enough attention and praise to boost there ego. Then as you try to bring up the idea of a meet up more and more they just ignore the questions or answer around them eventually being ghosted as then move onto the next bloke. or is it just fucking me lol"
This..absolutely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Honestly.
No.
There’s a small few I like to chat to on a purely friendship level and those I chat to lots.
Then there’s the ones who want a shag and if we both agree to the shag then we meet up and shag.
It’s a good system and has served me well. |
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"Honestly.
No.
There’s a small few I like to chat to on a purely friendship level and those I chat to lots.
Then there’s the ones who want a shag and if we both agree to the shag then we meet up and shag.
It’s a good system and has served me well."
FAF?
Or talk about the weather?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do most conversations with women on here all go the same way. Two weeks of just general chitchat bullshit with them teasing you just enough to keep you hanging on given them enough attention and praise to boost there ego. Then as you try to bring up the idea of a meet up more and more they just ignore the questions or answer around them eventually being ghosted as then move onto the next bloke. or is it just fucking me lol"
Haha this is what women say about men on dating profiles.... maybe its our way of getting our own back.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do most conversations with women on here all go the same way. Two weeks of just general chitchat bullshit with them teasing you just enough to keep you hanging on given them enough attention and praise to boost there ego. Then as you try to bring up the idea of a meet up more and more they just ignore the questions or answer around them eventually being ghosted as then move onto the next bloke. or is it just fucking me lol
Haha this is what women say about men on dating profiles.... maybe its our way of getting our own back.... "
Touché |
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"Well I get that but when they’re sending you pictures of the vag and in sexy underwear wanting the attention but then zero communication on meets weeks later it says a lot about them
If you press reply + quote (bottom right) people will be able to work out more easily who you're replying to.
Maybe their horn ran off.
Maybe they're really a man who's lifted some pics off the net.
Maybe you said something that turned them off.
Maybe they don't want to meet people who take risks with their own and other peoples health by meeting during restrictions.
Many reasons.
I have gone cold on someone I was speaking to and getting on with because of their views on smacking kids that I saw on a thread. Any old shit can happen.
All those reasons are perfectly fine to not want to meet up, but why just ghost a guy? why not actually explain that to them and if they get Marcy then block them. As these women will be the first ones to moan like fuck when they receive cut-and-paste messages or that blokes just don’t put in the time and effort anymore. maybe it’s because they’ve been doing that for years and just ghosted by women who just decide they’re not interested anymore with zero explanation. I think male and females would have a better time on here if everyone was just honest and open.
I feel your pain Op and I’m sending you hugs...
I think you need to learn a few new phrases to catch these women before they ghost you....
“ I don’t care that your pictures are old and misleading , I like your personality “
“ I’m not really a swinger, and I’m looking for a long term relationship “
“ I’ve never felt this connection with anyone in my life , I think it’s destiny that we met “
“ I can’t believe I would meet such a beautiful, smart and caring person on a swinging site. You’re one in a million “
“ I think I’m falling in love with you before we have met , imagine how we will feel after we meet “
I hope these help you out......
"
hahaha I love this |
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"Some genuine chats, quite a lot of flirt then either go silent or block. I got blocked for not replying within 24 hrs with one couple! Crazy!"
ahhhhh well you have to maintain the illusion of just how precious they are and don't forget your extremely fortunate to be chatting with them , understand this and the blocks may stop , good luck |
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"I'm not sure what it means when your message is read but not deleted or a reply sent. "
I seem to get that a fair bit
I assume it means I'm above the standard of the ubiquitous "U OK?" and "FAF?" messages but not good enough to make their fanny flutter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some genuine chats, quite a lot of flirt then either go silent or block. I got blocked for not replying within 24 hrs with one couple! Crazy!ahhhhh well you have to maintain the illusion of just how precious they are and don't forget your extremely fortunate to be chatting with them , understand this and the blocks may stop , good luck "
Please don’t start giving sound advice on the forums.....
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For the convos that I’ve had it’s been really chill and cool and especially as things have been restrictive to some degree it’s given time to understand if someone is a good fit or if it’s not. The quality of a meet is important and so my goal in conversing is always to get a since of that. I’ve chatted to some awesome people (couples and ladies) who I may not ever meet but they were not a waste of time at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some genuine chats, quite a lot of flirt then either go silent or block. I got blocked for not replying within 24 hrs with one couple! Crazy!"
How do you know it was for that reason if you got blocked? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll know when or if I'm ready or wanting to meet.
When it keeps getting brought up I'll go cold because I then start to feel like my vag is the thing they're actually interested in rather than the human it's attached to, and the chat is part of a big game and I don't really matter."
Absolutely this xx |
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By *9alMan
over a year ago
Bridgend |
"Never really had that problem. I find the longer you chat on line, the less chance of meeting. Strike whilst the irons hot, and arrange a quick social. "
yes my experience, there are people who chat & people who meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do most conversations with women on here all go the same way. Two weeks of just general chitchat bullshit with them teasing you just enough to keep you hanging on given them enough attention and praise to boost there ego. Then as you try to bring up the idea of a meet up more and more they just ignore the questions or answer around them eventually being ghosted as then move onto the next bloke. or is it just fucking me lol"
I never ask so I dont feel your pain.
Sorry. |
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