FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why do certain people annoy us?
Why do certain people annoy us?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Apparently there’s a thing called the Shadow Side, it’s the parts of ourselves we don’t like. The parts we have disowned and subconsciously denied as ever being there.
So the behaviours, qualities, or mannerisms that other people have that absolutely do our tits in, are really our own disowned, unacknowledged, or rejected issues.
So say someone on here consistently posts stuff that is blatant attention seeking to the point that it annoys me, does that mean that I’m doing the same thing? I don’t feel like I’m seeking attention in the sense that I need validation or anything m else, but I do always want to hear people’s opinions and hear what advice they have.
I’m confused!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t think you’re alone in your opinion on the subject.
I’m fact you definitely aren’t alone.
It’s not worth overthinking why.
Just ignore it and continue doing what you do.
That’s what I do and I’m always right about stuff.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Much akin to a mirror, we may often perceive undesired aspects we hold of ourselves in others and subsequently hold them (both the person and the projected traits) somewhat in contempt.
"
 Although if I spend too much time with the same people then everything about them can start to annoy me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t think you’re alone in your opinion on the subject.
I’m fact you definitely aren’t alone.
It’s not worth overthinking why.
Just ignore it and continue doing what you do.
That’s what I do and I’m always right about stuff.
"
Wait.....
Is it me?
It’s me isn’t it?
Oh god.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don’t think you’re alone in your opinion on the subject.
I’m fact you definitely aren’t alone.
It’s not worth overthinking why.
Just ignore it and continue doing what you do.
That’s what I do and I’m always right about stuff.
Wait.....
Is it me?
It’s me isn’t it?
Oh god.
"
 no it’s not you.
I’m just confused over the concept that things other people do that rub me up the wrong way are things I do myself.
Like I get it when it comes to my little daughter and that really is like arguing with a small version of myself.
But like sometimes things people do can just be annoying can’t they without them having to be some deeper reflection of my own issues? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nah I don’t think this is the case at all. In fact if I’m honest, most of the people who get on my nerves on here actually remind me of my mum or other people from my past who I didn’t like |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I do think there can be some truth to the shadow side but I also don't think it's the full truth. Like flirting to the point where it disrupts other threads, spoils other conversations, constantly wanting attention from anyone is a bit irksome but it's not because that's the behaviour I do. I've thought about it a lot (you know, like all good navel-gazers do) and it irks me because it reminds me of family and former friends who made it very much about them, constantly. There's one particular trait I have and I dislike it in myself and when I do read it on here I think what a teaser and remind myself that I'm guilty of doing that as well so yeah. Some validity but not a full explanation of why we dislike others. It's sort of like shifting culpability away from others behaving negatively and making it about us (sometimes). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Like flirting to the point where it disrupts other threads, spoils other conversations, constantly wanting attention from anyone is a bit irksome but it's not because that's the behaviour I do. "
That’s the same stuff that annoys me too, well not annoys me just makes me think just stop with it all, what’s going on inside you that makes you feel like you need to have this constant attention, let’s address that instead.
Ahh I feel like the deeper I go with thinking and reading shit it’s made me struggle to accept others truths. Like I feel like there’s stuff going on under the surface with people and I want to fix it. It’s doing my head in! |
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"Like flirting to the point where it disrupts other threads, spoils other conversations, constantly wanting attention from anyone is a bit irksome but it's not because that's the behaviour I do.
That’s the same stuff that annoys me too, well not annoys me just makes me think just stop with it all, what’s going on inside you that makes you feel like you need to have this constant attention, let’s address that instead.
Ahh I feel like the deeper I go with thinking and reading shit it’s made me struggle to accept others truths. Like I feel like there’s stuff going on under the surface with people and I want to fix it. It’s doing my head in!"
i stopped thinking along time ago. Makes for a quieter life |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Like flirting to the point where it disrupts other threads, spoils other conversations, constantly wanting attention from anyone is a bit irksome but it's not because that's the behaviour I do.
That’s the same stuff that annoys me too, well not annoys me just makes me think just stop with it all, what’s going on inside you that makes you feel like you need to have this constant attention, let’s address that instead.
Ahh I feel like the deeper I go with thinking and reading shit it’s made me struggle to accept others truths. Like I feel like there’s stuff going on under the surface with people and I want to fix it. It’s doing my head in!
I stopped thinking along time ago. Makes for a quieter life"
It really does. Nothing good ever comes from overthinking. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"People don't like the qualities in others that they try and avoid in themselves."
Yeah, so it’s more like oh I hope I don’t come across like that kind of thing? Yeah, could be that as well.
Good input big dick. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Way too much overthinking going on here.
I get pissed off at people’s behaviour because that behaviour pisses me off not because I see it as a reflection of me. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like most things I suspect the answer is more complex than simply yes, that's always the case, or no, that is never true.
There are things that others do that I hate whilst knowing full well I too am guilty - not indicating at roundabouts (I'm terrible on the 4 that are within a mile of home, forget to even think of them as roundabouts).
Other things are less obvious - the attention seeking, we all desire affirmation from others to one degree or another so being annoyed at someone for a level of attention seeing we feel is too much is hypocritical. Our displeasure could be a recognition of the same need in ourselves but it could also be coloured by jealousy - they're getting more attention than me - which is equally hard to admit.
Then there is the consideration that we simply don't like certain behaviours either from others or ourselves. Perhaps it really is the behavoir we don't like rather than disliking it because we sometimes do it?
Human emotions are complex, we all justify behavoir in ourselves that we judge harshly in others. We all have bits of us that we don't like and we all worry far more about how we appear than others generally take the time to notice.
Sorry if that's all a bit rambling- I'm trying to avoid a long run in the rain 
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apparently there’s a thing called the Shadow Side, it’s the parts of ourselves we don’t like. The parts we have disowned and subconsciously denied as ever being there.
So the behaviours, qualities, or mannerisms that other people have that absolutely do our tits in, are really our own disowned, unacknowledged, or rejected issues.
So say someone on here consistently posts stuff that is blatant attention seeking to the point that it annoys me, does that mean that I’m doing the same thing? I don’t feel like I’m seeking attention in the sense that I need validation or anything m else, but I do always want to hear people’s opinions and hear what advice they have.
I’m confused!
"
Not necessarily no
Remember idea anout shadowing where clinical descriptions by psychanalists i think Car Jung first mentioned them. There is actually no evidence this theory exists.
Why people or yourself act in a certain , oh my where to start!! |
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