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If you live alone
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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please give me some tips and tricks on how you cope with loneliness.
I have no family in the UK. No friends or pets either.
I just eat crap food out of boredom and depression and then I'm even more depressed for looking like a whalefant. Can't win.
So? What do you do when you're feeling lonely?  |
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Music and movies is my biggest past time. I can watch / re-watch a movie and loose myself in it.
Same goes for music. After living a long time in a uneven relationship, I revel in being alone. Sorry to hear your bit coping well. X |
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"please give me some tips and tricks on how you cope with loneliness.
I have no family in the UK. No friends or pets either.
I just eat crap food out of boredom and depression and then I'm even more depressed for looking like a whalefant. Can't win.
So? What do you do when you're feeling lonely? "
When I found myself alone. I threw myself into exercise and doing my masters. I was in a low place so needed something to motivate me and make me do something other than watch box sets all day.
Plenty of free courses out there.
(That and two dogs  ) |
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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago
from Home Counties to Middle Earth |
I'm a single parent, which can be like talking to four walks when they're on their devices.
I started during lockdown having virtual film nights. So agree on a film with a friend, gather drinks, snacks, get comfy, then press play at the same time, and chat on WhatsApp or whatever. It's a lovely way to spend an evening on your own but not be alone  |
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I'd recommend doing some volunteering . I know some charities were looking for befrienders earlier in lockdown, volunteering is more than working in charity shops. Check on line to see whats available.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"please give me some tips and tricks on how you cope with loneliness.
I have no family in the UK. No friends or pets either.
I just eat crap food out of boredom and depression and then I'm even more depressed for looking like a whalefant. Can't win.
So? What do you do when you're feeling lonely? "
Learn an instrument. The frustration of not being able to play even the simplest melodies works wonders for me, makes me forget all the other issues. Be aware tho, this method only works if you're crap at it |
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I do watch quite a lot of movies and am catching up on series that I've missed. I have also taken up adult painting by numbers. If you look up Masterpiece by numbers on Amazon, you will see they are nothing like the things we had as kids. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"But you have LVM don’t you? Doesn’t he keep you company?"
He's been out of the country for a few months now and I'm not coping well without him.
I usually finish work around 7pm after staring at the monitor for 10 hours to then move from my home office to the living room to then stare at the TV for a few more hours before going to sleep. I'm just sick of it.  |
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"please give me some tips and tricks on how you cope with loneliness.
I have no family in the UK. No friends or pets either.
I just eat crap food out of boredom and depression and then I'm even more depressed for looking like a whalefant. Can't win.
So? What do you do when you're feeling lonely? "
That’s a much better word than baby hippo which is what I tend to say.
And I’m not sure, I’ve been up and down with the whole alone situation myself. I did take up pottery during lock down. It was good for taking my mind off stuff
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"Whalefant is brilliant OP, you've made me snort with laughter. "
Yeah that was good!!
Honestly op it's really tough right now, hard enough under normal conditions and i can't in good conscience suggest meeting people at this time even though we all need a hug now and then.
Probably your best bet is to strike up online friendships, cam/zoom and the like where possible to help with the social itch, certainly talking shit on here all day helps me to some small degree. Delve in to books or a game world too, it's not a fix and it's not a substitute but it can help to distract the mind a while. Write a blog or diary, it may not contain much or it may be ground hog day but it can help you focus and bring about a need to challenge yourself, further distracting you. Start a new hobby or learn a new language, anything you can throw yourself in to that requires concentration when you're at a low point.
The biggest thing though and this is the kicker, you should accept that you are going to have some bleak moments which you can do little more than ride out but these can be manageable the more you accept and understand.
With regard the depression have you seen a doctor? Perhaps medication if it's not manageable?
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"please give me some tips and tricks on how you cope with loneliness.
I have no family in the UK. No friends or pets either.
I just eat crap food out of boredom and depression and then I'm even more depressed for looking like a whalefant. Can't win.
So? What do you do when you're feeling lonely? "
. I am with a few groups on meet up before Covid19 the organisers did simple things like a drink in a pub , meal at a restaurant , film night , live music in a pub.It maybe worth doing a google search see what’s in your area on meet up.If you are working perhaps arrange something with your work colleagues.In the mean time exercise , music and home made cooking can be a good way to forget the loneliness for a while. |
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I am lucky as have dogs to keep me amused and active. If they were not here i think i would still do alot of walking as love being outside. I quite like being alone if i am honest. I do not eat crap as never buy crap to eat. Have you ever considered doing voluntary work to fill your lonely hours? |
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By *beefMan
over a year ago
Long eaton |
i live alone but luckily i have two dogs that have helped make me many friends to talk too. i have hobbies that help with boredom and if all that fails i just go see family its best just to get out and have a walk or see family. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry for your predicament.
At least you have light at the end of the tunnel when your partner returns.
In the meantime why don't you try and make some friends in your area? I know it's easier said than done especially now, but there are still plenty of people needing friendship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"please give me some tips and tricks on how you cope with loneliness.
I have no family in the UK. No friends or pets either.
I just eat crap food out of boredom and depression and then I'm even more depressed for looking like a whalefant. Can't win.
So? What do you do when you're feeling lonely? "
You need to distract your mind with something.
Personally I play alot of video games and chat with people online alot as a distraction. Doesn't always work but it does help. I'm always available if you just want someone to chat to 
As for the crap food thing try experimenting with cooking. I recently started calorie counting as I put on about 2 stone during lockdown so I looked at healthy meals and tried to keep my calorie intake down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But you have LVM don’t you? Doesn’t he keep you company?
He's been out of the country for a few months now and I'm not coping well without him.
I usually finish work around 7pm after staring at the monitor for 10 hours to then move from my home office to the living room to then stare at the TV for a few more hours before going to sleep. I'm just sick of it. "
Working from home has made it so easy to fall into this trap. The thing is, all the built up stress from work only gets carried with you and you don't get that release.
I would recommend going out for walks once you finish work and listening to music at the same time always helps me. I can also understand if you don't want to because you finish so late so perhaps a walk during your lunch break may help instead?
I wish you all the best though because lonliness isn't something to wish on anyone and it can be tough to break bad habits  |
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"But you have LVM don’t you? Doesn’t he keep you company?
He's been out of the country for a few months now and I'm not coping well without him.
I usually finish work around 7pm after staring at the monitor for 10 hours to then move from my home office to the living room to then stare at the TV for a few more hours before going to sleep. I'm just sick of it. "
Oh crikey! Now I see why.... |
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"please give me some tips and tricks on how you cope with loneliness.
I have no family in the UK. No friends or pets either.
I just eat crap food out of boredom and depression and then I'm even more depressed for looking like a whalefant. Can't win.
So? What do you do when you're feeling lonely? "
Your words really match myself , exactly like you , i live alone , no family and crap food , friends i have and they know who they are because if i talk with them almost daily is because we care about each other's .
Loneliness is very dificult, come home 24 7 360 and found yourself lonely between empty walls .
I fight go work and when home , listen music or play guitar , watching movies sometimes read , driving somewhere , or sleep much as i can when is possible .
Also Fabs is fab because can really bring lovely people into our lifes. |
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Single parent, 4 walls was my life.
doing house chores in the afternoon for me as I could nip out after droping both children into school
night time boredom back ground sound was company rest of night used to enjoy the films I got or have a game on playstation or pc
had largish garden it did help as I was able to create an alotment in the garden and grow food in it
flowers s and I dont mix
always did enjoy the meets organised on the forums |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Have you tried farting in the bath and catching the bubbles between your legs and pretending you’re on the level, just an idea ? "
I don't have a bath  
And thank you everyone for your lovely words and tips. |
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"please give me some tips and tricks on how you cope with loneliness.
I have no family in the UK. No friends or pets either.
I just eat crap food out of boredom and depression and then I'm even more depressed for looking like a whalefant. Can't win.
So? What do you do when you're feeling lonely? "
Evening
Don't be Alone,
I'd chat with you anytime...
Andy xx |
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"please give me some tips and tricks on how you cope with loneliness.
I have no family in the UK. No friends or pets either.
I just eat crap food out of boredom and depression and then I'm even more depressed for looking like a whalefant. Can't win.
So? What do you do when you're feeling lonely? "
I live alone even though in a house share, I don't speak to anyone there.. I do have family near by but see them very rarely 'work' 'crappy weather' I am only child and lost my father 2 years ago.. I never really had many friends but got enough to get by, I work and see people there.
As for being on my own, hobbies, Internet, keeping busy always helps..making friends online
For me I am getting more into gaming (via vr headset and retrogaming) hobbies are great especially if you can turn it into a profit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But you have LVM don’t you? Doesn’t he keep you company?
He's been out of the country for a few months now and I'm not coping well without him.
I usually finish work around 7pm after staring at the monitor for 10 hours to then move from my home office to the living room to then stare at the TV for a few more hours before going to sleep. I'm just sick of it. "
Oh sweetheart I can relate. I think volunteering is a great idea. It’ll be hard to get your arse moving at first but after a while it’ll become routine and you’ll just do it. Meet some new people- they don’t have to become life long friends- and get that sexy body moving.  |
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"But you have LVM don’t you? Doesn’t he keep you company?
He's been out of the country for a few months now and I'm not coping well without him.
I usually finish work around 7pm after staring at the monitor for 10 hours to then move from my home office to the living room to then stare at the TV for a few more hours before going to sleep. I'm just sick of it. "
Oh, I feel for you, I really do.
I was pretty much the same whilst shielding. My mental health took a right battering and by the end of September,I'd ballooned by 20lbs. I wasn't slim to begin with, so it became a vicious circle: depressed, eat chocolate and pizza, get more depressed and repeat.
I watched a lot of Netflix or read novels on the days I actually got outta bed. And went out for drives in my car. I'm back on track now, and have lost 4lbs, which has spurred me on.
Try chatting more on the forums, there's some lovely people on there, who'll be more than happy to make you laugh.
Hope he comes home soon to you xx |
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I feel for you, OP
I’m single, self employed, and I’ve worked from home (mostly) for the past eight years, so lockdown hasn’t affected me much.
It’s not much help to you, but I think I just cope with it. I’d love someone to share my life with, and yes that gets me feeling lonely from time to time, but I’m a boring git anyway 
Sometimes it’s nice just doing what I want, when I want....
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"I think I am broken, have lived on my own for 7 years now and never get lonely... Love my own company 
Baking cakes/cooking reading learning new skills are all great time wasters..."
But you are busy, curious, learning and discovering things as a substitute. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm that used to it now it doesn't bother me I'm either listening to music watching movies or YouTube vids or sometimes Xbox but I do have 2 cats as well |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Music - Spotify is good as you can spend ages browsing all sorts of playlists. Bits of reading, watching feel good films, all sorts of self improvement stuff online like Yoga, Meditation or just browsing Social Media to see what Madonna’s up to. Just to take the edge of the bleh feeling.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear you’re having a tough time.
Going to the gym has helped me in the past a d the classes.
I’m not a massive gym fan but I found it helped get me out of my head and the people have generally been really nice there x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it kind of easy, but then again I am pretty asocial anyway
I enjoy being on my own
Holidaying and daytripping alone is great too
I am far from being a hermit - I love people - I just love my own space a bit too much |
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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago
somewhere |
I live on my own and can empathise with feeling like you do.
I think there's only one thing for it....you need to get a kitten and call it Lorenzo! I'd actually be really lonely without my 2 big boys
In all seriousness though you know where I am if you need someone to chat to. We can talk wedding cake xx |
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"please give me some tips and tricks on how you cope with loneliness.
I have no family in the UK. No friends or pets either.
I just eat crap food out of boredom and depression and then I'm even more depressed for looking like a whalefant. Can't win.
So? What do you do when you're feeling lonely? "
I’m confused my lovely. I thought you and your chap lived together?
If not - could you? Easy way to stamp out loneliness. Failing that - and if you have time for one - have you thought of getting a pet! My pup is a great companion - though totally barmy and very demanding. Bloody adore him though. Xx |
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"But you have LVM don’t you? Doesn’t he keep you company?
He's been out of the country for a few months now and I'm not coping well without him.
I usually finish work around 7pm after staring at the monitor for 10 hours to then move from my home office to the living room to then stare at the TV for a few more hours before going to sleep. I'm just sick of it. "
Sorry - I now see you answered my question.
Sending hugs xx |
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"But you have LVM don’t you? Doesn’t he keep you company?
He's been out of the country for a few months now and I'm not coping well without him.
I usually finish work around 7pm after staring at the monitor for 10 hours to then move from my home office to the living room to then stare at the TV for a few more hours before going to sleep. I'm just sick of it. "
Have you considered looking at ‘who’s local’ and striking up conversations with local women of a similar age and mindset? A few female friends could be exactly what you need? |
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One word.. dogs. These buggers give me a reason to get up and keep me going in shit times.
I empathise OP. I’m impossible though. I’m not very sociable at the best of times. But now this ridiculous situation has hit I’m in a bubble with my high risk parents so won’t socialise with anyone for fear of passing anything to them.
The longer this goes on the fatter and more miserable I become. Which makes me less motivated to leave the house at all. Which makes me fatter... random chatting doesn’t work for me, it drains me so I’m a shit communicator. I’m just keeping to myself and preserving energy for when the clouds pass.
Working from home is pants.
Hope you’re feeling brighter soon. Just do what you can when you feel like it. Walking is ace for the soul. I’ll practise what I preach soon x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am an emotional eater and so to compensate and distract myself from doing too much eating I exercise... I am a keen runner, I also enjoy walking, paddleboarding and my life long love of dancing... which can be done at home.
When I lived alone and my son would be at his dad's for the weekend I started my party for one nights... music, disco lights on YouTube via the television, a bottle of lager and lots of dancing. I absolutely loved it and it kick started me into losing weight and exercising more.
Her x |
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Met Opera with their daily streams has made a big difference to those days when I could not go anywhere and could not see anyone. Even now, when things are changed it is still a source of comfort.
Taking walks while listening to audiobooks. This was in warmer weather of course and one needs to have a park close by. "Oral" has definitely become my thing afterwards - I would be glad to have books read aloud to me!
Dance workout videos. Exercise has to be fun, at least that's how I feel.
Regular contact with friends in whatever form it takes.
Regular orgasms in whatever form it takes.
Fun tip - one of the therapists I know is a big advocate of singing to lift your spirits.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me personally, games 
Walking the dog does also help as being outside really helps keep the mental state in a positive position.
Also just chatting to people, whether that be new or friends. If you are ever bored or lonely and do feel reaching out for a chat, just let me know
Stay safe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I live alone and have found the lockdown and the restrictions difficult at times. I have always tried to remain positive and to use all my extra alone time for things that during normal times I just never seemed to find the time for. Apart from taking very long walks and more fresh air than you can shake a stick at I have also lost myself in reading and rediscovering the music I loved and havent listened to in years. I also speak as regularly, especially at low times, as possible with friends over the phone or by other forms. It all helps but their are still times when you do feel very alone and it is then you must try and rise above it by thinking about all the good things in life and how it will be once we all get back to normal. Be strong. |
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I always find slipping in between the pages of a novel or into a podcast a great way of feeling like I’ve surrounded myself with others. I’ve never really been a fan of sticking myself in front of the TV like a toddler. The pen pal idea may just be a good one though. I absolutely love getting a handwritten letter through the post and the process of replying is good therapy as you find yourself telling your correspondent all sorts! Therapeutic in that sense.
I hope it gets easier for you OP! Lockdown is particularly brutal when you’re isolated.
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By *r MoriartyMan
over a year ago
The Land that time forgot (Norfolk) |
"I live on my own and can empathise with feeling like you do.
I think there's only one thing for it....you need to get a kitten and call it Lorenzo! I'd actually be really lonely without my 2 big boys
In all seriousness though you know where I am if you need someone to chat to. We can talk wedding cake xx"
3 |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
Have you lived alone for long?
When I first moved out I used it as an opportunity to learn to cook properly (as in from scratch) and used the extra floor space to exercise. I spend a bit of time reading too, I find a topic that piques my interest and get a book about it.
Do you work from home too? If so it's no wonder you find your confines a bit oppressive. Need to break your day up a bit, go for a walk or cycle maybe? |
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"please give me some tips and tricks on how you cope with loneliness.
I have no family in the UK. No friends or pets either.
I just eat crap food out of boredom and depression and then I'm even more depressed for looking like a whalefant. Can't win.
So? What do you do when you're feeling lonely? "
Hope some of the advice has helped? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I live alone and don't have many close friends, and so this is a problem for me a lot of the time too.
I find going to the gym - and I can't stand going - does help my mental well being and so I try and force myself out there most mornings. I also find that a pint of water every morning helps my brain to function. I like old movies, so that's also a help.
I think it's important that you try not to ever have a day that you feel has been wasted. Set yourself tasks, even if it's just tidying up your place or cooking something nice for yourself. You're in Lincoln, which isn't a village - turn up to things going on in your community.
Remember there's a lot of nice people on here with a lot in common with you. Use us. x
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By *offee27Man
over a year ago
Wiltshire |
"please give me some tips and tricks on how you cope with loneliness.
I have no family in the UK. No friends or pets either.
I just eat crap food out of boredom and depression and then I'm even more depressed for looking like a whalefant. Can't win.
So? What do you do when you're feeling lonely? "
Take up walking or hiking.
I live alone and spent most my summer on some nice walks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Music ..music..music..if there is an instrument that you have always wished that you could play ..go learn it ..if you live alone you have plenty of time and space to do so ..age is not an issue when it comes to learning a musical instrument...yes it's easier if younger but not an issue when older ..you will be amazed how much fun and enjoyment you'll get out of it .and the time will fly ..best wishes to you . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find it kind of easy, but then again I am pretty asocial anyway
I enjoy being on my own
Holidaying and daytripping alone is great too
I am far from being a hermit - I love people - I just love my own space a bit too much "
I'm the same - I like my own company.
I enjoy walking and cycling and cooking.
It's really important to get out of your 4 walls.
Put headphones on and get some fresh air after work you'll feel better for it x |
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I'm alone most of the day so I know the feeling. I personally advice picking up a craft hobby. Something that takes your mind off things and your hands busy. For an affordable one, I'd say crochet is a good start. A lot of craft hobbies can get expensive but that one is pretty affordable |
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You need to escape the house to break up the four walls situation. Even if it is for a walk. As someone who has regularly lived on their own I have been lucky enough to own dogs which engages your brain just through interacting with them.
You need to find an interest to get your mind in a different place. Good luck and stay strong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m finding that going for long walks helps me. Audiobooks too help keep my mind occupied and give another voice when the place is quiet.
It’s hard to be alone, especially when you’re used to being with someone all the time. But Lorenzo will be home soon for you sweetie! And in the mean time you’re being a strong badass every day that passes. xx |
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Op I try to meditate at least once a day but often twice, only 10 minutes each, it's a great reset and there's loads of apps to work with. I also found exercise is crucial, so try and do 10 to 15 minutes Pilates every morning. The last thing is try journalling or at least write three gratitudes at the end of each day so you go to sleep on a positive, however small it may have been.
It doesn't mean you'll always be on top, for me this morning being a good example, but you will more often than not!
X
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i read books.
i also stream games on twitch and have a chat session so people can talk about anything they wish to share and get help with.
i also offer 1-1 chats which some have found give them a different view or way to improve a situation i.e. work stress, bullying, debt etc.
i have a cat. the cat rules and is very popular on my streams, more than me. people want to see the cat!
the forums here are interesting, i do not actively look to meet these days but that does not mean i wont if the right people come along.
the thing you should do is organise your life. write down everything you day to day and put it in order.
add up the free time you have.
first thing is when you get up make your bed, this is the way to go forward. be tidy and direct. do not sleep in or lay there doing nothing.
at one point i had 3 jobs on the go. 1 full time 2 part time and i still managed 4 -5 hours sleep a day. this kept me busy and stopped my mind overthinking bad things.
how much money do you have? do you save or are you in debt? work to remove debt. its the only way.
life is broken up into little pieces, you need to examine each part and assemble it correctly to achieve things. being single is an chance for you to do things, embrace it.
i recently learnt to fly, i couldnt have done this if married or with someone. it was one of the best things ive done. now when im up there in the clouds my life feels clear and free.
find something you are interested in. even if its plane spotting or train spoting. do it. no holding back. get up and do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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and one more thing.
get off facebook, twitter and other social media.
seeing what others are up to will bring you down. and any negative comment will hurt you so get off them completely. |
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Music.
Be kind to yourself
Candlelight if you can’t light a fire (which warms the soul), light some candles flick the lights off and enjoy the glow
Reward yourself - a good bottle of wine, a nice bar of chocolate, an over indulgent wank (what?!)
Come off of social media. It’s a quick fix, like a sugar rush, but you will crash (fab not included obviously!)
Read more, hobby more.
Write letters, you don’t have to send them, but the sheer joy of dancing ink across a page and filling a space with your thoughts is a release. Set the words free from your head.
Train yourself to be positive. You can do this. You will do this.
Understand that life is a series of chapters, only you can start the next one, but to start it, you have to process and finish the one you are on.
And finally, you are never truly alone, subconsciously you Have made that choice, do not look without to break down the barriers you have built, look within.
Good luck OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it soo nice to see soo many lovely messages of support!
What a nice bunch you all are!
Hope you manage to take on board some of the tips OB!
I would genuinely look into all the options, something I find great for meeting people is fitness, find a good boot camp to go to as you'll be surprised as how many different types of people go, and generally in that environment you make friends. Im quite a big girl but if you find the right gym/boot camp it can be great! Xx
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By *abuma65Man
over a year ago
Gloucester |
Lived on my own for nearly 10 yrs though dont spend loads of time at home. I go to a gym and workout with a class of people with a variety of abilities. I run loads outdoors with friends I have met in gyms over the years. Also occasionally go to Yoga where you can meet other people . Got several other hobbies such as Photography, playing guitar and drinking beer with friends. I don't really get bored and wish I could work less to have more time. I guess its finding stuff to fill your life that you enjoy and preferably some of it with other peeps x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Music - Spotify was a lifeline for me
How about joining a gym? Or a fitness club.... Or the other thing i did in the early days of lockdown was fb free Yoga
Projects are good too - learn a new skill, or a new craft? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I live alone, and it’s been hard since my son moved out .......
But I bought a bike, and that’s been great, especially during the lighter nights and weekends.
Music also......... listening to alsorts of genres, and stuff from when I was growing up...... it’s kept me going x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Since moved to UK have lived alone most of my life
Was fine before as had good friends that saw quite regularly but used to be difficult at weekends when they were often out and I was in alone
Noticed getting bit harder recently to keep finding things to do - like watching tv etc but often not really in mood for it and end up watching crap
been spending more time on here which has been good and bad as some chats have been fun but also think of the fun could be having |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We all have good and bad days lass deep breath count to ten you must have hobbies something you like to do reading a book listening to music lasses used to knit there’s always plenty of things to do it’s how you as a person deal with it talking to people helps to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I crochet and that keeps my mind occupied and my hands busy so that I can't boredom and comfort eat.
I also have a self care bag with things in like an oil burner, notebook and pen, fluffy blanket, luxury shower gel, nail varnishes and things for some pampering.
Of course there's always Fab where you can make friends and chat in the forums and PMs.
xx |
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