FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Whats the ideal first message?
Whats the ideal first message?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just be yourself if they like you being you on here then they will like you being you in real life but don’t send....
Cut and paste messages.
Hi
Hey
How’s you
What you up to??
Or other such no effort drivel.
Just my opinion and best of luck op.
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If there is a decent status update. Then I work with that. If there is something in their profile I work with that.
Messages based upon observations vs opinions don't really get very far. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"So many women post that the 1st message should stand out. I get this - but what does make a message stand out? What would you like to hear from a guy?"
This is often asked here but the thing is there is no single answer, it's an individual thing to each person - for some a brief one liner might work, for others something lengthy - it's as much about you the sender finding what works for you as anything, and backing that up with a profile text and pics that make you appealing enough to merit a reply |
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Best first message I got was a playful insult  it certainly got a reply. But it was cheeky and fun, showed some personality and a way to create a conversation by being unique in its boldness.
This site is more beneficial to those who stand out, be it their profile text, pictures or messages. Too many Men blend in to the background, so for those guys who truly put in the effort, they’re often rewarded. Whilst those who don’t put in that much effort, end up complaining or leaving.  |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"So many women post that the 1st message should stand out. I get this - but what does make a message stand out? What would you like to hear from a guy?
This is often asked here but the thing is there is no single answer, it's an individual thing to each person - for some a brief one liner might work, for others something lengthy - it's as much about you the sender finding what works for you as anything, and backing that up with a profile text and pics that make you appealing enough to merit a reply "
This 
There isn't a standard approach or messaging format. Often it's dictated by our perceptions of that person's profile or info it might have there we can work with. A bit of guesswork and instinct can often go into it. Sometimes the results are brilliant, sometimes lackluster. All part the experience and appeal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel like I'm crap at first messages.
But as other have said, I try and write something that's in their profile, or status.
I feel like I should update my status to "hit me with your best joke." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're great at first messages, always well constructed and considered. Unfortunately people's responses are often incredibly poor but at least it helps out the ones we don't want to talk to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1. Get straight to the point 'Do u wanna fuk'
2. Always make sure they know you can only accom. Thursday night when mum goes to Bingo
3. Never compliment them. They hate that coz they're all feminists
4. Always use txt spk and emojis and no long, boring, confusing words
5. Make sure to ask if they've got a better looking friend they could send instead who isn't a lesbian
My 5 golden rules will make your messages really stand out. Never fails for me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a good message just comes in a package with a decent enough profile and a few pics. None of it has to be amazing but it all has to be there I think. |
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To be honest, I'm not going to read any message unless I like the avatar...if I do I'll look at the rest of the pictures. If nothing has put me off I'll read the profile, and if nothing about that has put me off I'll read the message...by which which point I'm pretty sure that it's someone I like the look of, so it would have to be a horrendously bad message to put me off. |
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I think the thing you always need to remember is you have no idea what is going on in someone's life unless they broadcast it across the forums and you're a stalker.
Example.
I lost my beloved pooch last year. I buried her myself and still with dirt under my fingernails came here for support from my online safety net.
I was lucky as I got messages of support and well wishes. Had I been on this profile as a single woman at the time I can pretty much guarantee it would have been very different. Among those wishes would have been the usual "alright gorgeous, fancy some fun, I bet you could use a stiff cock?"
Now, saying that to me at that point would have offered the reply, "I've just buried my fucking dog ya cunt, I'm guessing you wanna be next" due to it being a highly emotive moment in time for me.
Take notice of peoples statuses etc, they will offer clues about what to put in a message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Something that makes it clear you read the profile. A compliment is nice, but there's no need for a crass 'Do you wanna fuck'.
I like sweet and thoughtful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the thing you always need to remember is you have no idea what is going on in someone's life unless they broadcast it across the forums and you're a stalker.
Example.
I lost my beloved pooch last year. I buried her myself and still with dirt under my fingernails came here for support from my online safety net.
I was lucky as I got messages of support and well wishes. Had I been on this profile as a single woman at the time I can pretty much guarantee it would have been very different. Among those wishes would have been the usual "alright gorgeous, fancy some fun, I bet you could use a stiff cock?"
Now, saying that to me at that point would have offered the reply, "I've just buried my fucking dog ya cunt, I'm guessing you wanna be next" due to it being a highly emotive moment in time for me.
Take notice of peoples statuses etc, they will offer clues about what to put in a message."
As you say, we don't always know what's going on in someone's life, but that should go two ways.
For example, if I'm having a shit time of things for whatever reason, it wouldn't excuse me snapping at others because of it |
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Here's a novel idea many guys don't think of.
Start your message with "Hello" and then use the names given on the profile. So many people just launch into "I'm looking for..." or "Do you want to..." or whatever.
Saying hello first makes such a difference, and using names shows you have paid some attention tp a profile and you aren't just copying and pasting. I'm surprised how few people bother with such a simple thing. |
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Personalise. Read the profile
Do not copy and paste.
Do not ‘chance your luck’ with people who clearly state what they’re looking for.
Do not ask ‘how’s fab treating you’
Do not as ‘what are you up to’
Do ask questions based on statuses or profiles.
Do comment on something you like about them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest I just look at the profile pic and location when I'm scrolling through the inbox. If you've got a sexy profile pic (not a dick pic) and you're local you'll get my attention, then so long as the message isn't "hey" there's a good chance I'll at least open it.
If the message is crude I'll delete it, but if it looks like he's read my bio and is a normal human I'll respond. |
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"I think the thing you always need to remember is you have no idea what is going on in someone's life unless they broadcast it across the forums and you're a stalker.
Example.
I lost my beloved pooch last year. I buried her myself and still with dirt under my fingernails came here for support from my online safety net.
I was lucky as I got messages of support and well wishes. Had I been on this profile as a single woman at the time I can pretty much guarantee it would have been very different. Among those wishes would have been the usual "alright gorgeous, fancy some fun, I bet you could use a stiff cock?"
Now, saying that to me at that point would have offered the reply, "I've just buried my fucking dog ya cunt, I'm guessing you wanna be next" due to it being a highly emotive moment in time for me.
Take notice of peoples statuses etc, they will offer clues about what to put in a message.
As you say, we don't always know what's going on in someone's life, but that should go two ways.
For example, if I'm having a shit time of things for whatever reason, it wouldn't excuse me snapping at others because of it"
Absolutely, I'm not using having a shit time as an excuse. I'm not making excuses, I'm well aware I can be an emotive prick but what I will do is apologise if I have behaved badly. However someone telling me what they think I need or want when they don't know me from Adam is one thing that fucks me right off. That itself is rude. |
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