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Code switching

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Anyone else find that they do so much code switching that they never get any time to be their real, authentic self? Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you mean?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What do you mean? "

Like when you're switching between BASIC and Javascipt

I feel you bro

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

I was offered to switch code once but the Union shite just wasn’t for me

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Anyone else find that they do so much code switching that they never get any time to be their real, authentic self? Lol

Yeah. I hear you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do you mean? "

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do you mean?

Like when you're switching between BASIC and Javascipt

I feel you bro"

Knew you’d get it, POF

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not sure what this is, I would like to think I'm authentic thought.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?"

Switching communication style to fit who you are communicating with is a skill?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Anyone else find that they do so much code switching that they never get any time to be their real, authentic self? Lol

Yeah. I hear you."

*exhales deeply*

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Nope..I'm the same person regardless of my environment - the only slight difference is on-line I may be a little bit more outgoing than in person, but my core beliefs and moral standards remain the same regardless.

I have no need to pretend to be something I'm not - or to portray what I think people want to see - I'm me, take me as I am, or leave me - it really is that simple.

If you hide a part of your personality for the benefit of others it will come unhidden at some point and you'll be seen for who you really are at some point - and that usually has the ability to backfire, so why hide it, or pretend you're something you're not in the first place?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

‘Code-switching, process of shifting from one linguistic code (a language or dialect) to another, depending on the social context or conversational setting.’

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Not sure what this is, I would like to think I'm authentic thought. "

Would you say you’re the same regardless of context?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?

Switching communication style to fit who you are communicating with is a skill? "

Exhausting though. If it is a skill

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Why does everything these days have to be labelled with ridiculous pseudo-intellectual psychobabble names too?

Why not just call it what it is?

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By *dam1971Man over a year ago

Bedford

It was Emerson who said: We have as many personalities as we have friends. However if you can find friends to be honest with, it makes for a much more relaxed experience

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Nope..I'm the same person regardless of my environment - the only slight difference is on-line I may be a little bit more outgoing than in person, but my core beliefs and moral standards remain the same regardless.

I have no need to pretend to be something I'm not - or to portray what I think people want to see - I'm me, take me as I am, or leave me - it really is that simple.

I get this. I feel as though I’m most comfortable speaking the slang I grew up around but outside of my friendship groups, can’t exactly do that. For example it’s deemed as unprofessional by colleagues or managers, inappropriate by family m_mbers and a sign of ignorance or lack of intelligence by strangers (fab/other social media)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"‘Code-switching, process of shifting from one linguistic code (a language or dialect) to another, depending on the social context or conversational setting.’"

Thanks for explaining. I understand and do it all the time. I call it being a chameleon. Changing to fit the environs. .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why does everything these days have to be labelled with ridiculous pseudo-intellectual psychobabble names too?

Why not just call it what it is?

Haha

What would you call it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It was Emerson who said: We have as many personalities as we have friends. However if you can find friends to be honest with, it makes for a much more relaxed experience

I love this. Thanks for adding

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"‘Code-switching, process of shifting from one linguistic code (a language or dialect) to another, depending on the social context or conversational setting.’

Thanks for explaining. I understand and do it all the time. I call it being a chameleon. Changing to fit the environs. . "

Yeah that’s better I guess. And encompasses more than just language.

Do you find it exhausting?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Will this lead to some kind of alienation from the self?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Yeah that’s better I guess. And encompasses more than just language.

Do you find it exhausting? "

Yes

" Will this lead to some kind of alienation from the self? "
no cos when youre alone youre yourself if that makes sense.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Why does everything these days have to be labelled with ridiculous pseudo-intellectual psychobabble names too?

Why not just call it what it is?

Haha

What would you call it? "

Why does it need a name? It's something people have done for years and it's never needed a specific one before

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

" Yeah that’s better I guess. And encompasses more than just language.

Do you find it exhausting?

Yes

Will this lead to some kind of alienation from the self? no cos when youre alone youre yourself if that makes sense. "

That makes sense. Although I try not to talk to myself out loud, I suppose I still think in my preferred lingo/language

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I don't think code switching leads to alienation from the self, but you need to find a way to be your authentic self at certain points. Or degrees of it. So if my whole self is xyz, then if I have outlets where I can be x, ones I can be y, and ones where I can be z, that can be good enough. It's not always ideal, but it can be sufficient until I can find better. Does that make sense?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why does everything these days have to be labelled with ridiculous pseudo-intellectual psychobabble names too?

Why not just call it what it is?

Haha

What would you call it?

Why does it need a name? It's something people have done for years and it's never needed a specific one before "

True. I guess it’s the fault of there being so many academic fields of study these days. I think it’s handy to have a term, just because of ease of saying rather than explaining what I mean. But the irony of course is that I’ll have to explain anyway if the word isn’t understood.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I don't think code switching leads to alienation from the self, but you need to find a way to be your authentic self at certain points. Or degrees of it. So if my whole self is xyz, then if I have outlets where I can be x, ones I can be y, and ones where I can be z, that can be good enough. It's not always ideal, but it can be sufficient until I can find better. Does that make sense?"

Yes perfect. So I find what makes me, me. And then I can be the parts of me that the situation allows. Inevitably I’d be me just at different points? To get the satisfaction of being myself?

Although I think I do that, but I feel sometimes as though I’m not really me, completely, enough.

I just want to talk slang all the time, because that’s what I’m comfortable doing

but I can’t so I feel the alienation.

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By *eliciousladyWoman over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

"Why does everything these days have to be labelled with ridiculous pseudo-intellectual psychobabble names? "

Exactly..enough of the psychobabble (great word)

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By *ily WhiteWoman over a year ago

I have no need to pretend to be something I'm not - or to portray what I think people want to see - I'm me, take me as I am, or leave me - it really is that simple.

This

Although I think for many people this will come with age, when you've fully figured out your place in the world. For me, age has brought greater acceptance of myself, the inner peace to realise that I can't (and don't actually want to) please everybody, and the knowledge that my life won't implode if I go against the grain sometimes.

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By *edVelveteenCouple over a year ago

Heaven in the Midlands

I was born in England, raised in Australia and now living in Ireland. So I guess I'm always switching codes. Here in Ireland people keep telling me they're just back from the bog. I have to pick myself off the floor when I realise bog doesn't mean the same as in Australia, where 'the bog' is slang for the toilet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why does everything these days have to be labelled with ridiculous pseudo-intellectual psychobabble names?

Exactly..enough of the psychobabble (great word)

Apologies. It’s a term I knew, so I used it. Didn’t mean to upset anyone

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Yes perfect. So I find what makes me, me. And then I can be the parts of me that the situation allows. Inevitably I’d be me just at different points? To get the satisfaction of being myself?

Although I think I do that, but I feel sometimes as though I’m not really me, completely, enough.

I just want to talk slang all the time, because that’s what I’m comfortable doing

but I can’t so I feel the alienation. "

I get it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?

Switching communication style to fit who you are communicating with is a skill?

Exhausting though. If it is a skill"

I'm a mh nurse. So I adapt my communication with every patient accordingly. Talking to a 14 year old requires a diffrent vocabulary to talking with an 18 year old.

Same as talking to a person who is fluidly psychotic does.

If I didnt have that skill I couldnt do a good job.

And yes it is exhausting. When I get home I dont want to talk. I want to be silent so I can then be me. I tend to be quiet for an hour or so.

I think it is a skill. Others may not. Each to there I guess.

Sweetmiss xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I have no need to pretend to be something I'm not - or to portray what I think people want to see - I'm me, take me as I am, or leave me - it really is that simple.

This

I think age may possibly be a factor. I’m young so excuse my possible ignorance. But I don’t think with age it will become any easier to speak slang at work or around my family or to strangers (without negative judgement).

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Why does everything these days have to be labelled with ridiculous pseudo-intellectual psychobabble names too?

Why not just call it what it is?

Haha

What would you call it?

Why does it need a name? It's something people have done for years and it's never needed a specific one before

More often than not though these psycho-babble pseudo-intellectual terms that are thought up by those with a sense of intellectualism that they think places them above others are divisive and unnecessary though.

Keep it simple, keep it understandable - "code switching"?

I honestly thought it was going to be a thread about people that go from League to Union or vice versa!!

And there is so much of it bandied about on here that sometimes you need a degree to cut through the seven paragraphs of psycho-babble where one line would have done.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lifes simple, just be who you are.....

A little less angst

A little more authenticity

Perhaps?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?

Switching communication style to fit who you are communicating with is a skill?

Exhausting though. If it is a skill

I'm a mh nurse. So I adapt my communication with every patient accordingly. Talking to a 14 year old requires a diffrent vocabulary to talking with an 18 year old.

Same as talking to a person who is fluidly psychotic does.

If I didnt have that skill I couldnt do a good job.

And yes it is exhausting. When I get home I dont want to talk. I want to be silent so I can then be me. I tend to be quiet for an hour or so.

I think it is a skill. Others may not. Each to there I guess.

Sweetmiss xx"

That’s important work and I’m sure you do a great job. It is exhausting. Do you find the way you areMost comfortable communicating, outside of work you’re able to do? Say on here? Or around family?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What do you mean?

Like when you're switching between BASIC and Javascipt

I feel you bro

Knew you’d get it, POF

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I was born in England, raised in Australia and now living in Ireland. So I guess I'm always switching codes. Here in Ireland people keep telling me they're just back from the bog. I have to pick myself off the floor when I realise bog doesn't mean the same as in Australia, where 'the bog' is slang for the toilet.

Haha this made me chuckle.

. Do you feel most comfortable being the Aussie you were raised to be? If so, do you ever get to be that Aussie? Or are you always that, unapologetically?

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

There's also that stranger in a strange land feeling, I suppose. Second guessing your language choices. As if the way you speak is inadequate somehow. There's inevitably give and take in communication, but when it's one sided it can feel erasing and cause a loss of a sense of authenticity, I think.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I have no need to pretend to be something I'm not - or to portray what I think people want to see - I'm me, take me as I am, or leave me - it really is that simple.

This

Yeah but it's not about "slang" is it? It's about you the person and whether the values you present and stick to are the same regardless?

Of course we all adapt our language and manner of speaking to fit circumstances or who we're talking to but that doesn't really matter - what matters is our core values and how we present them and those should never change.

If it's purely the language and dialect we use it's of no real consequence compared to those core values and therefore the term, if it purely relates to linguistics, is even more psycho-babble than I first thought.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Lifes simple, just be who you are.....

A little less angst

A little more authenticity

Perhaps?"

What I've been saying in a nutshell

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By *edVelveteenCouple over a year ago

Heaven in the Midlands

Haha this made me chuckle.

. Do you feel most comfortable being the Aussie you were raised to be? If so, do you ever get to be that Aussie? Or are you always that, unapologetically?"

Australia never felt like home, I always felt I should be somewhere else, so I never embraced the Aussie in me. Now that I believe I belong here in Ireland ( I do have Irish ancestry ) I find myself embracing the Aussie a little bit more and enjoying the differences. However, i still wholeheartedly wish i had been raised Irish.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why does everything these days have to be labelled with ridiculous pseudo-intellectual psychobabble names too?

Why not just call it what it is?

Haha

What would you call it?

Why does it need a name? It's something people have done for years and it's never needed a specific one before

Keep it simple, keep it understandable - "code switching"?

I honestly thought it was going to be a thread about people that go from League to Union or vice versa!!

And there is so much of it bandied about on here that sometimes you need a degree to cut through the seven paragraphs of psycho-babble where one line would have done."

I don’t think what you’re saying is entirely fair. I get it but I genuinely think that words are just created sometimes for ease?

If you don’t like the word though or the fact that I used it, sorry, but it’s a word that I used because I thought it was easier to type two words rather than typing out lots. Lol

Sorry if the thread disappointed you, or offended you because you felt you needed a degree to cut through it, but honestly, it’s not that deep.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I have no need to pretend to be something I'm not - or to portray what I think people want to see - I'm me, take me as I am, or leave me - it really is that simple.

This

Yeah but it's not about "slang" is it? It's about you the person and whether the values you present and stick to are the same regardless?

Well then, I guess this is even more psycho-babble than you first thought. Again, sorry to disappoint you. Lmao

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"There's also that stranger in a strange land feeling, I suppose. Second guessing your language choices. As if the way you speak is inadequate somehow. There's inevitably give and take in communication, but when it's one sided it can feel erasing and cause a loss of a sense of authenticity, I think."

Yes I totally emphasise. I mean I don’t get it, I can’t pretend to but he’s. Do you find a place or time to be your authentic self?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Lifes simple, just be who you are.....

A little less angst

A little more authenticity

Perhaps?"

Perhaps.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Haha this made me chuckle.

. Do you feel most comfortable being the Aussie you were raised to be? If so, do you ever get to be that Aussie? Or are you always that, unapologetically?

You’re exactly where you’re meant to be and have taken the road you were meant to! Glad you’ve found comfort.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Yes I totally emphasise. I mean I don’t get it, I can’t pretend to but he’s. Do you find a place or time to be your authentic self? "

I do. I suppose I'm relating my experience to yours. Similar but different. It's exhausting trying to juggle dialect, and why can't I just talk without it being a thing, FFS.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Why does everything these days have to be labelled with ridiculous pseudo-intellectual psychobabble names too?

Why not just call it what it is?

Haha

What would you call it?

Why does it need a name? It's something people have done for years and it's never needed a specific one before

Keep it simple, keep it understandable - "code switching"?

I honestly thought it was going to be a thread about people that go from League to Union or vice versa!!

And there is so much of it bandied about on here that sometimes you need a degree to cut through the seven paragraphs of psycho-babble where one line would have done.

I don’t think what you’re saying is entirely fair. I get it but I genuinely think that words are just created sometimes for ease?

If you don’t like the word though or the fact that I used it, sorry, but it’s a word that I used because I thought it was easier to type two words rather than typing out lots. Lol

Sorry if the thread disappointed you, or offended you because you felt you needed a degree to cut through it, but honestly, it’s not that deep.

Not offended or disappointed in the slightest - but absolutely stand by all I've said - seems to be a phrase that's largely irrelevant if it relates to purely linguistics and not core values that we each hold, and if it relates to core values again I stand by all I've said.

Hine's succinct post sums it up really

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

I have no need to pretend to be something I'm not - or to portray what I think people want to see - I'm me, take me as I am, or leave me - it really is that simple.

This

No it won’t because it’s basic manners, even my 12 year old understands that. How you talk with your friends (generational slang) will always be different than how you converse with your family, work colleagues, etc.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is that a little bit like what they call masking with Autism, trying to suppress various aspects of yourself to be more socially 'normal' and accepted. And when you get home everything just slips and you can be your proper sweary grumpy silent self again

I believe it çan be exhausting

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Yes I totally emphasise. I mean I don’t get it, I can’t pretend to but he’s. Do you find a place or time to be your authentic self?

I do. I suppose I'm relating my experience to yours. Similar but different. It's exhausting trying to juggle dialect, and why can't I just talk without it being a thing, FFS."

Right? Bourdieu talks about speaking ‘good french’ having benefits. And it’s the same with English really. There’s a ‘right’ way to speak. A professional way. A way that is generally understood by all. If you speak outside of that, it requires an understanding that you can’t be certain everyone has. So say, I might not use some words because they’re from a dialect you’re unfamiliar with and vise versa.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Is that a little bit like what they call masking with Autism, trying to suppress various aspects of yourself to be more socially 'normal' and accepted. And when you get home everything just slips and you can be your proper sweary grumpy silent self again

I believe it çan be exhausting "

I think they're extremely similar, yes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Why does everything these days have to be labelled with ridiculous pseudo-intellectual psychobabble names too?

Why not just call it what it is?

Haha

What would you call it?

Why does it need a name? It's something people have done for years and it's never needed a specific one before

Keep it simple, keep it understandable - "code switching"?

I honestly thought it was going to be a thread about people that go from League to Union or vice versa!!

And there is so much of it bandied about on here that sometimes you need a degree to cut through the seven paragraphs of psycho-babble where one line would have done.

I don’t think what you’re saying is entirely fair. I get it but I genuinely think that words are just created sometimes for ease?

If you don’t like the word though or the fact that I used it, sorry, but it’s a word that I used because I thought it was easier to type two words rather than typing out lots. Lol

Sorry if the thread disappointed you, or offended you because you felt you needed a degree to cut through it, but honestly, it’s not that deep.

Hine's succinct post sums it up really

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Yes I totally emphasise. I mean I don’t get it, I can’t pretend to but he’s. Do you find a place or time to be your authentic self?

I do. I suppose I'm relating my experience to yours. Similar but different. It's exhausting trying to juggle dialect, and why can't I just talk without it being a thing, FFS.

Exactly. But I suppose broader to situational and regional (class, race implications) English. I adapt, but it's a burden.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I believe it çan be exhausting "

Yes. I think it’s like that. It is exhausting right? Glad it’s not just me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I have no need to pretend to be something I'm not - or to portray what I think people want to see - I'm me, take me as I am, or leave me - it really is that simple.

This

I, too understand that. And I have said already that I understand that. The question is whether or not code switching was exhausting and then I asked whether it could lead to alienation from the self. I am already aware that it’s polite to code switch, that’s why I do it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Yes I totally emphasise. I mean I don’t get it, I can’t pretend to but he’s. Do you find a place or time to be your authentic self?

I do. I suppose I'm relating my experience to yours. Similar but different. It's exhausting trying to juggle dialect, and why can't I just talk without it being a thing, FFS.

Exactly. But I suppose broader to situational and regional (class, race implications) English. I adapt, but it's a burden."
yes race, class are factors too. Whether it’s your first language etc. All factors. Intersecting ones too no doubt. But yes, it’s a burden.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Yes I totally emphasise. I mean I don’t get it, I can’t pretend to but he’s. Do you find a place or time to be your authentic self?

I do. I suppose I'm relating my experience to yours. Similar but different. It's exhausting trying to juggle dialect, and why can't I just talk without it being a thing, FFS.

Exactly. But I suppose broader to situational and regional (class, race implications) English. I adapt, but it's a burden. yes race, class are factors too. Whether it’s your first language etc. All factors. Intersecting ones too no doubt. But yes, it’s a burden. "

It's, as ever, an intersectional issue.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman over a year ago

On a mooch

I have no need to pretend to be something I'm not - or to portray what I think people want to see - I'm me, take me as I am, or leave me - it really is that simple.

This

No not exhausting at all as the vocabulary you use is still you

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Not in the slightest bit exhausting - it's something you learn from a very young age and has everything to do with core values and manners and as such shouldn't be exhausting regardless of background or social standing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What the heck am I reading here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?"

Makes sense to me. It's good to get away from certain types and feel more yourself. It can be exhausting having to speak a certain way all the time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why are you being so rude? Your snide mask has slipped right off. If you don't understand that's fine. You can't be the expert at everything!

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"What the heck am I reading here

To coin a phrase...pseudo-intellectual psycho-babble

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I have no need to pretend to be something I'm not - or to portray what I think people want to see - I'm me, take me as I am, or leave me - it really is that simple.

This

No not exhausting at all as the vocabulary you use is still you "

That’s true, it is still me. But perhaps we all have language that we’re most comfortable using, but constantly have to avoid. Not exhausting for all, but for some, altering, although polite, is exhausting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Lmao sn.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?

Makes sense to me. It's good to get away from certain types and feel more yourself. It can be exhausting having to speak a certain way all the time. "

I’ve definitely found that. Sometimes you just want to be able to go right from the heart. Even on here I do sometimes but am conscious of not letting understood or being judged. Tiring eh? Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What the heck am I reading here

To coin a phrase...pseudo-intellectual psycho-babble

What does that mean?

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?

Makes sense to me. It's good to get away from certain types and feel more yourself. It can be exhausting having to speak a certain way all the time.

I’ve definitely found that. Sometimes you just want to be able to go right from the heart. Even on here I do sometimes but am conscious of not letting understood or being judged. Tiring eh? Lol

I'm always code switching on here.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Why are you being so rude? Your snide mask has slipped right off. If you don't understand that's fine. You can't be the expert at everything!"

Not being in the slightest bit rude Ms Heels just saying it as I see it as I always do, just because I have a different opinion doesn't mean I am being either rude or offensive or snide - no pretence at being an expert either, as it's not exactly a topic that calls for expertise as opposed to an opinion.

Simple fact of the matter is I don't find "code switching" exhausting because I have, like most people, learned from an early age to adapt the language I use according to specific circumstance - which is *all* I said before your accusation if you read it, and was in response to a perfectly legitimate question posed by the OP - if that is being rude in your eyes then so be it, but I fail to see how.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?

Makes sense to me. It's good to get away from certain types and feel more yourself. It can be exhausting having to speak a certain way all the time. "

My daughter comes back from school like some sort of angry dragon, she says she has to be nice and jolly and liked all day so that she fits in (ive said she doesnt need to etc, but she hates the thought of being classed as different) So she takes all her frustration out on me as she wriggles back into her own weird lovely self and can be her normal at home. Not very well explained but I know what I mean.

With age comes confidence to let more of yourself out, even the bits you dont think are appropriate, and by the time you reach my age you dont really care who thinks you are odd or how much you swear. You fit into your own skin eventually, dont worry

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I make sure I speak the same way to everyone.

Succinctly.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"What the heck am I reading here

To coin a phrase...pseudo-intellectual psycho-babble

What does that mean? "

Was digging at my own earlier comments

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What the heck am I reading here

To coin a phrase...pseudo-intellectual psycho-babble

What does that mean?

Was digging at my own earlier comments

Instead of saying pseudo-intellectual psycho-babble could you not have said something more accessible?

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"What the heck am I reading here

To coin a phrase...pseudo-intellectual psycho-babble

What does that mean?

Was digging at my own earlier comments

Instead of saying pseudo-intellectual psycho-babble could you not have said something more accessible?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?

Makes sense to me. It's good to get away from certain types and feel more yourself. It can be exhausting having to speak a certain way all the time.

I’ve definitely found that. Sometimes you just want to be able to go right from the heart. Even on here I do sometimes but am conscious of not letting understood or being judged. Tiring eh? Lol

I'm always code switching on here."

How else would people accept us

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?

Makes sense to me. It's good to get away from certain types and feel more yourself. It can be exhausting having to speak a certain way all the time.

I’ve definitely found that. Sometimes you just want to be able to go right from the heart. Even on here I do sometimes but am conscious of not letting understood or being judged. Tiring eh? Lol

I'm always code switching on here.

How else would people accept us

... I'm not even sure how to answer that

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Why are you being so rude? Your snide mask has slipped right off. If you don't understand that's fine. You can't be the expert at everything!

Was a bit dismissive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?

Makes sense to me. It's good to get away from certain types and feel more yourself. It can be exhausting having to speak a certain way all the time.

She’s cute. I thought it was explained well. I got it.

Well then, I hope one day I’ll tell everyone that annoys me on here to buss out and they’ll all understand what I mean and love me for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I make sure I speak the same way to everyone.

Succinctly."

You’ve got this life thing nailed!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?

Makes sense to me. It's good to get away from certain types and feel more yourself. It can be exhausting having to speak a certain way all the time.

I’ve definitely found that. Sometimes you just want to be able to go right from the heart. Even on here I do sometimes but am conscious of not letting understood or being judged. Tiring eh? Lol

I'm always code switching on here.

How else would people accept us

People accept us for what we are. Or dont as the case may be.

If you constantly monitor every word you say how you say it and try to second guess what you need to say to be accepted then perhaps it's rather more than your use of words that needs to be considered...

All language is communication. Perhaps it's better just to communicate in the way that works for you. Most people will, I hope, recognise the integrity of what you say, no matter the the words you use to say it...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why are you being so rude? Your snide mask has slipped right off. If you don't understand that's fine. You can't be the expert at everything!

Multiple rolley eyes and making fun of the words he used. You are perfect. We get it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?

Makes sense to me. It's good to get away from certain types and feel more yourself. It can be exhausting having to speak a certain way all the time.

I’ve definitely found that. Sometimes you just want to be able to go right from the heart. Even on here I do sometimes but am conscious of not letting understood or being judged. Tiring eh? Lol

I'm always code switching on here.

How else would people accept us

People accept us for what we are. Or dont as the case may be.

I’ll give it a whack. Thanks for adding, I’m assuming you don’t find code switching exhausting? If you even do it at all. I get the impression you don’t.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Why are you being so rude? Your snide mask has slipped right off. If you don't understand that's fine. You can't be the expert at everything!

Multiple rolley eyes and making fun of the words he used. You are perfect. We get it."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?

Makes sense to me. It's good to get away from certain types and feel more yourself. It can be exhausting having to speak a certain way all the time.

I’ve definitely found that. Sometimes you just want to be able to go right from the heart. Even on here I do sometimes but am conscious of not letting understood or being judged. Tiring eh? Lol

I'm always code switching on here.

How else would people accept us

People accept us for what we are. Or dont as the case may be.

I’ll give it a whack. Thanks for adding, I’m assuming you don’t find code switching exhausting? If you even do it at all. I get the impression you don’t. "

I've been known to call a spade a fucking shovel. Or sometimes a none mechanically propelled trenching device.

But life is much simpler if you just use the words you feel comfortable with, and far less complicated...well sometimes.

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By *uriousscouserWoman over a year ago

Wirral

I think it depends on what extent you take it to. I am different in work to how I am with friends, but it's not a massive shift - I'm just dialling up or down on various aspects of my personality, but they're all me.

I'm happy to use formal legal language with suppliers, being very careful what I say and how my words could be interpreted. I use less formal but still slightly guarded communication with my colleagues and my boss (my boss is a numbers person where I am a storyteller so I have to be careful to be a lot more concise if I want his attention). I use different language again when I'm relaxing with my friends or with a lover.

It's not a completely different persona, which I would imagine to be exhausting. Each different way of interacting is part of my true authentic self, so I don't find it all that much effort.

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By *edVelveteenCouple over a year ago

Heaven in the Midlands

Haha this made me chuckle.

. Do you feel most comfortable being the Aussie you were raised to be? If so, do you ever get to be that Aussie? Or are you always that, unapologetically?

You’re exactly where you’re meant to be and have taken the road you were meant to! Glad you’ve found comfort.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Anyone else find that they do so much code switching that they never get any time to be their real, authentic self? Lol

Yes. Sometimes it's bloody exhausting.

I'm rather enjoying the break from it all during lockdown

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I quite like being my inauthentic, complex, imperfect self. I’m sure my mum appreciates me not talking about taking it up the bum and being edged in a bi MMF when I visit her for afternoon tea.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?

Makes sense to me. It's good to get away from certain types and feel more yourself. It can be exhausting having to speak a certain way all the time.

I’ve definitely found that. Sometimes you just want to be able to go right from the heart. Even on here I do sometimes but am conscious of not letting understood or being judged. Tiring eh? Lol

I'm always code switching on here.

How else would people accept us

People accept us for what we are. Or dont as the case may be.

I’ll give it a whack. Thanks for adding, I’m assuming you don’t find code switching exhausting? If you even do it at all. I get the impression you don’t.

I've been known to call a spade a fucking shovel. Or sometimes a none mechanically propelled trenching device.

But life is much simpler if you just use the words you feel comfortable with, and far less complicated...well sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Anyone else find that they do so much code switching that they never get any time to be their real, authentic self? Lol

The only place I'm my real authentic self is when I'm on my own at home in my pyjamas

I used to play the different person for different people game more when I was younger - but the older I get the less fucks I give about other peoples judgement.

I have less fake friends now and Im not on any social media ither than Fab - its too exhausting I cant be arsed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I think it depends on what extent you take it to. I am different in work to how I am with friends, but it's not a massive shift - I'm just dialling up or down on various aspects of my personality, but they're all me.

It's not a completely different persona, which I would imagine to be exhausting. Each different way of interacting is part of my true authentic self, so I don't find it all that much effort."

That’s interesting. I think this is similar to what swing said earlier about the xyz thing. I think it also depends on the extent to which you find yourself dialling up or down and how many circumstances you don’t have to at all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Anyone else find that they do so much code switching that they never get any time to be their real, authentic self? Lol

Yes. Sometimes it's bloody exhausting.

I'm rather enjoying the break from it all during lockdown "

One of the few benefits of lockdown eh?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I quite like being my inauthentic, complex, imperfect self. I’m sure my mum appreciates me not talking about taking it up the bum and being edged in a bi MMF when I visit her for afternoon tea. "

Afternoon tea? How very posh

But I get what you mean

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/06/20 08:19:33]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's not a completely different persona, which I would imagine to be exhausting. Each different way of interacting is part of my true authentic self, so I don't find it all that much effort."

Yes we all have sub-personIfies that form the choir of voices that sing the songs of our life, but our authentic self conducts the orchestra. Some parts of the songs are given more light, some are more often in the shadows. All the of them convey the wholeness of our perfectly imperfect selves

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Anyone else find that they do so much code switching that they never get any time to be their real, authentic self? Lol

The only place I'm my real authentic self is when I'm on my own at home in my pyjamas

I used to play the different person for different people game more when I was younger - but the older I get the less fucks I give about other peoples judgement.

I have less fake friends now and Im not on any social media ither than Fab - its too exhausting I cant be arsed.

That’s really interesting.

I think strangely, twitter or instagram allow you to be your real self. Facebook not so much. Fab, well if you’re young (and a guy), definitely not at all lmao. But yes, the entire thing can just feel as though you’re not always yourself but as said before, I acknowledge the need, hence me doing it my whole life. Lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have no need to pretend to be something I'm not - or to portray what I think people want to see - I'm me, take me as I am, or leave me - it really is that simple.

I'd be sacked if I had no filter at work.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What do you mean?

As in changing the way you speak for the people you’re speaking to?

So the way you speak at work, the way you speak on here, the way you speak to family and the way you speak to friends may all be very different. If that makes sense?"

I think this is just typical human communication.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I have no need to pretend to be something I'm not - or to portray what I think people want to see - I'm me, take me as I am, or leave me - it really is that simple.

I'd be sacked if I had no filter at work.

Yes but that was kind of my point - having a filter that is appropriate to a circumstance or situation for the sake of manners or being respectful doesn't necessarily change your personality or your core values - it *may* soften them and how they are presented but they still remain intact, or at least they do for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just to add. I wanted to clarify that I am not frustrated solely because I care about what others think. I have social anxiety, so of course the need to be liked is important to me but in this context I’m just talking about the tiring nature of navigating the many fields of life, which for some people doesn’t allow space for who they are. The fear of judgement or presenting as ignorant might prevent me using ‘generational slang’ as spurs put it, on fab but it’s not the fear of judgement that stops me using it at work or around my work colleagues, it’s professionalism and as said, manners.

I find that what that leaves is, sometimes, Very little time to be yourself. And by that, we’re talking language, yes, so I mean able to talk freely in the language I understand and that I’m comfortable using. I think for some people, this problem doesn’t exist or not to the same extent because they’re not changing a whole lot between how they might talk in different contexts, just being less sweary etc. But I suppose, and this is for a lot of people I’ve grown up around, because of class and race and lots of other factors like gender too, the way I might usually speak or am comfortable speaking is so far from how I have to speak at work or around family or strangers. And so that constant having to avoid that language leads to alienation and also leads to exhaustion (*I* find).

Even typing this, this is put in a language I think is appropriate for everyone on fab to understand and also not describe me as some ‘young ignorant lad’. Like so many say in their bios, navigating text speak is exhausting and frustrating for them. I don’t know I’ve waffled on a bit but just wanted to clarify some stuff.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just to add. I wanted to clarify that I am not frustrated solely because I care about what others think. I have social anxiety, so of course the need to be liked is important to me but in this context I’m just talking about the tiring nature of navigating the many fields of life, which for some people doesn’t allow space for who they are. The fear of judgement or presenting as ignorant might prevent me using ‘generational slang’ as spurs put it, on fab but it’s not the fear of judgement that stops me using it at work or around my work colleagues, it’s professionalism and as said, manners.

Oh I can imagine that is exhausting Steve. As a native English speaker I find that the way I speak generally is understood quite readily and while I tone my language for different settings out of respect for who I am with or just manners, that is relatively simple. However because of my educational and work interests I have parts of my vocabulary others would struggle to understand at times. This is most marked when I am working abroad. I have to think much more about the language I use in those contexts and it is much more tiring and mentally taxing.

Also if I spoke in my scouse dialect they wouldn’t understand a word. That would lead to mutual alienation and I would be unlikely to work there again ??

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By *mberWoman over a year ago

Preston

I have no need to pretend to be something I'm not - or to portray what I think people want to see - I'm me, take me as I am, or leave me - it really is that simple.

Exactly this. The subject matter is "slightly" different on here versus chatting to my mum. But my personality remains the same regardless.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh and now I have a fuller appreciation of what code-switching is, I think it is a useful shorthand to describe what you are talking about.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have no need to pretend to be something I'm not - or to portray what I think people want to see - I'm me, take me as I am, or leave me - it really is that simple.

I'd be sacked if I had no filter at work.

Yes , still the same core values. This is why I don't have Facebook, every opinion I have or anything I find amusing I was lynched for by the moral high ground brigade. So I don't tend to let people know me, they just think they do. But on here, I can say whatever I like and don't need to worry if someone doesn't like it. I'm probably the real version of me on here as anything I do or say won't effect my day to day life. Hopefully I'll find the right people for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Also if I spoke in my scouse dialect they wouldn’t understand a word. That would lead to mutual alienation and I would be unlikely to work there again ??"

I think there’s a lot about how if you spoke in your scouse dialect and the different responses you’d get and the perceptions of that. Perhaps lots of classism in there to unpack. I don’t know that you do but say if you have to soften your accent or adapt in the words you use, I suppose especially seen as you travel, this comes up. But I appreciate the acknowledgment that it can be tiring and mentally taxing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Oh and now I have a fuller appreciation of what code-switching is, I think it is a useful shorthand to describe what you are talking about."

Thank you. I didn’t mean for the thread not to be inclusive, I genuinely thought lots of people know what code switching is, especially if some of my friends do!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh and now I have a fuller appreciation of what code-switching is, I think it is a useful shorthand to describe what you are talking about.

Thank you. I didn’t mean for the thread not to be inclusive, I genuinely thought lots of people know what code switching is, especially if some of my friends do!

No it was a new term to me and I often use psycho-babble because it is part of my vocabulary. How do we expand our vocabulary without learning new words and terms and understanding their meaning? The way you have conducted your thread has been inclusive. However I can understand how some of the responses may have meant for you might feel that way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also if I spoke in my scouse dialect they wouldn’t understand a word. That would lead to mutual alienation and I would be unlikely to work there again ??

I get the accent thing, I'm Scottish and really have to concentrate on using the proper words at work but talk to friends and family you can just relax and use the same as them. My friends don't think I sound like them anymore as I've been practicing this a long time now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also if I spoke in my scouse dialect they wouldn’t understand a word. That would lead to mutual alienation and I would be unlikely to work there again ??

My accent has softened naturally as I have lived away from Liverpool since I was 19. I also went to a school that significantly influenced how strong my accent became. I also studied languages and then worked in multi-cultural organisations so my use of language evolved naturally in line with my changing conditions. Probably why I feel so comfortable working globally now.

However I was surprised while working in France that they found me difficult to understand, more so than anywhere else in the world. I had to alter my use of language again and translate into French more often.

I am acutely aware that I’m in a privileged position as I am able to speak my native tongue in global organisations as English is usually the global language. However sensitivity to the local culture and languages means I am often sealing and behaving in a way that is not natural for me. However that is far less of a challenge than it is for them speaking, listening to and understanding a language that isn’t native for them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

" I get the accent thing, I'm Scottish and really have to concentrate on using the proper words at work but talk to friends and family you can just relax and use the same as them. My friends don't think I sound like them anymore as I've been practicing this a long time now. "

I suppose the accent thing is a big part of it. And I recognise I have privilege in that sense, being from London. Although I may have to adapt the language I use, completely, my accent is exactly what people find to fit the ideal. But I think being able to relax around family is good. I found that my family’s class and the class of the friends I spent all my time with at school led to me, in purely a language sense (I recognise my class privilege), having to codeswitch at home and amongst friends. Also found that some of the good friends I’ve met at university having completely different dialects and accents to me has also led to code switching in friendships. Also in work friendships for similar reasons, as well as obviously professionalism. And most contexts really. But I am sure you get it based on your experience

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also if I spoke in my scouse dialect they wouldn’t understand a word. That would lead to mutual alienation and I would be unlikely to work there again ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Oh and now I have a fuller appreciation of what code-switching is, I think it is a useful shorthand to describe what you are talking about.

Thank you. I didn’t mean for the thread not to be inclusive, I genuinely thought lots of people know what code switching is, especially if some of my friends do!

I hope we can all just continue to learn things. I learn new things on here everyday and I’m grateful for it. Learning is fun but it’s also important. There are times that people are deliberately exclusionary because they feel that their ‘intelligence’, for lack of a better word, puts them above someone else, but when it’s not the case, I do wish we could all just be open minded and learn from each other.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh and now I have a fuller appreciation of what code-switching is, I think it is a useful shorthand to describe what you are talking about.

Thank you. I didn’t mean for the thread not to be inclusive, I genuinely thought lots of people know what code switching is, especially if some of my friends do!

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By *wisted999Man over a year ago

North Bucks

I do it for a job. It’s sometimes hard to keep track of the authentic me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Also if I spoke in my scouse dialect they wouldn’t understand a word. That would lead to mutual alienation and I would be unlikely to work there again ??

This is really interesting and insightful so thanks for sharing. I get how different things have altered your accent and language and how often you have to adapt it. That sounds like a lot.

I think for me, code switching is something I find that we shouldn’t HAVE to do in the context of say softening accents. Of course there’s language and accents that are, in a British context, more socially acceptable and accepted than others and I privilege from the accent as much as I don’t from the language.

This discussion could go on forever, I’m so intrigued by it.

Do you ever feel that you do so much adapting that you become alienated from yourself? In a language sense, not in a personality/ core values sense because those aren’t relevant?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I do it for a job. It’s sometimes hard to keep track of the authentic me. "

Do you ever talk to yourself in the language and/or accent you’re most comfortable with, that you don’t get to use often?

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By *wisted999Man over a year ago

North Bucks

"I do it for a job. It’s sometimes hard to keep track of the authentic me.

Do you ever talk to yourself in the language and/or accent you’re most comfortable with, that you don’t get to use often? "

Oh yes even in my internal monologue.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Another thing, for me personally, I find that music helps. So listening to rap music, specifically grime music where the language used reflects the culture And language that I am comfortable using most, rapping along and listening to it definitely makes me feel more myself. Can’t believe I forgot to add haha. But listening to and more importantly rapping to Kano and Skepta definitely makes me feel in touch with my true self (in a language sense)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also if I spoke in my scouse dialect they wouldn’t understand a word. That would lead to mutual alienation and I would be unlikely to work there again ??

This is really interesting and insightful so thanks for sharing. I get how different things have altered your accent and language and how often you have to adapt it. That sounds like a lot.

This discussion could go on forever, I’m so intrigued by it.

Do you ever feel that you do so much adapting that you become alienated from yourself? In a language sense, not in a personality/ core values sense because those aren’t relevant? "

Not really. My sense making is all done through language so my sense of self evolves as my use of language evolves. I feel as I have evolved I have become more in touch with my true self. That true self is beyond the limitations of language though and a wholly separate topic

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"Anyone else find that they do so much code switching that they never get any time to be their real, authentic self? Lol

It's strange to me of thinking of it like that. I'm bilingual so I bounce from one language to the other without a secondary thought. And although I can speak at a highly technical level in my work, I enjoy going out into the community to explain my work. My real authentic self is always there, the words used may be different dependent on who I'm speaking to but the message is always the same.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Anyone else find that they do so much code switching that they never get any time to be their real, authentic self? Lol

Interesting. Does the words you use differ in different languages? Or do you talk the same no matter? I don’t think that makes much sense but I’m trying to ask whether the words you use in English, whether you just use the same words, directly translated in another language?

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"Anyone else find that they do so much code switching that they never get any time to be their real, authentic self? Lol

I don't directly translate no. So if I told you a story in English and then told the same story to someone in Welsh. The words would vary and how they are arranged would be different. For example in English I'd say black cat in Welsh it would be cat black. However, the story would be the same regardless.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Anyone else find that they do so much code switching that they never get any time to be their real, authentic self? Lol

I get that. Sorry I’m just not explaining well haha. I meant it in the sense of say, if you said ‘the weather is exceptional at the moment’ would you say something to the same effect in Welsh? Or would your choice of words in Welsh be something more like ‘the weather is pretty decent’. If that makes more sense?

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

"Anyone else find that they do so much code switching that they never get any time to be their real, authentic self? Lol

Yeah that can happen as the I'll speak the words that come to me if that makes sense? I tend not to over think it. Sometimes if someone asks me to translate something, I'll first translate it literally, then say nope that doesn't sound right. And I'll change it slightly so it sounds how I would speak, regardless of it being a translation. So it always sounds like me talking if that makes sense?

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I've found difficulty in dialect switching. People get weirdly offended on occasion by me using words from a different dialect of English, even threatened. I once got shouted at in Tesco for muttering to myself about zucchini. I'm an American imperialist here to destroy their language.

... I'm desperately sorry the vegetable came to my country via the Italians rather than the French, and that historical accident is reflected in the way I talk to myself?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Anyone else find that they do so much code switching that they never get any time to be their real, authentic self? Lol

No that makes sense. I get that completely and thank you for explaining. I think for me, the difficulty is that there’s a big difference in the language I would use in so many different contexts and the language I would prefer to use all the time. And that’s why I find it exhausting. But I would understand if you’re taking the same way generally that even in translation it’s not that exhausting. Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've found difficulty in dialect switching. People get weirdly offended on occasion by me using words from a different dialect of English, even threatened. I once got shouted at in Tesco for muttering to myself about zucchini. I'm an American imperialist here to destroy their language.

... I'm desperately sorry the vegetable came to my country via the Italians rather than the French, and that historical accident is reflected in the way I talk to myself?

Goodness. How very fitting of them

Interesting because in conversation, I might not have understood what someone meant by zucchini until quite recently because, well because nobody I know would call it that. If that’s your norm, adapting is strange I would imagine.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

... I'm desperately sorry the vegetable came to my country via the Italians rather than the French, and that historical accident is reflected in the way I talk to myself?

Goodness. How very fitting of them

Yeah. It's not a big deal most of the time. Zucchini, courgette. Fine. But cumulatively it sort of adds up, having to constantly remind myself, do I have to "translate" this? It can be draining. Particularly given other ways in which I code switch or mask, too.

I chose this life and so it's not quite the same, but it's the closest I get. And it's fucking weird going through my shopping list and getting people being offended by it.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

... I'm desperately sorry the vegetable came to my country via the Italians rather than the French, and that historical accident is reflected in the way I talk to myself?

Goodness. How very fitting of them

I chose this life and so it's not quite the same, but it's the closest I get. And it's fucking weird going through my shopping list and getting people being offended by it. "

I get you, people can get offended when I speak Welsh when I'm out. Because obviously I only do so when there are non Welsh speakers about. I personally think people are too quick to see the differences in each other and somehow find offence in those differences instead of celebrating them

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

... I'm desperately sorry the vegetable came to my country via the Italians rather than the French, and that historical accident is reflected in the way I talk to myself?

Goodness. How very fitting of them

I chose this life and so it's not quite the same, but it's the closest I get. And it's fucking weird going through my shopping list and getting people being offended by it. "
Yeah I get that. I hear you. And fuck those people, absolute weirdos.

There could still be other aspects of it though? Perhaps when you’re home you still code switch, perhaps even more now. Also there’s Class and gender as well as factors, I know were mentioned earlier so there’s things you do probably subconsciously.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

... I'm desperately sorry the vegetable came to my country via the Italians rather than the French, and that historical accident is reflected in the way I talk to myself?

Goodness. How very fitting of them

I chose this life and so it's not quite the same, but it's the closest I get. And it's fucking weird going through my shopping list and getting people being offended by it.

Yeah. I'm not being Australian at people. I'm just being me.

Although it's not a problem when they wonder if I know the friend of a friend's teacher's hairdresser who moved 2400 miles from where I lived, because it's such a small country and we all know each other

Sometimes I just want to be me and not have it be a big deal. I humour most people but it's tiring.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Yeah I get that. I hear you. And fuck those people, absolute weirdos.

Oh sure. My normal is a weird straddling of both places now, my accent and dialect has shifted, so I'm out of place everywhere. As I say I chose it.

Definitely class and gender in my favour here. And ethnicity. I'm one of the good foreigners (

)

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yeah I get that. I hear you. And fuck those people, absolute weirdos.

Oh sure. My normal is a weird straddling of both places now, my accent and dialect has shifted, so I'm out of place everywhere. As I say I chose it.

Definitely class and gender in my favour here. And ethnicity. I'm one of the good foreigners (

Haha you’re good people, too.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Yeah I get that. I hear you. And fuck those people, absolute weirdos.

Oh sure. My normal is a weird straddling of both places now, my accent and dialect has shifted, so I'm out of place everywhere. As I say I chose it.

Definitely class and gender in my favour here. And ethnicity. I'm one of the good foreigners (

)

Haha you’re good people, too.

Thank you, but not because "you're English really just like us". No kindly fuck off. (Yeah I do get it a lot. My ancestors first arrived in Australia in the 18th century FFS)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn’t say I find it difficult, but at work I am professional and speak to people in a different manner than when I’m not at work. I wouldn’t say it’s an act as such but just ensuring professional boundaries amongst other things are adhered to.

Whereas I speak to my friends and family in a natural way that would be inappropriate at work.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I wouldn’t say I find it difficult, but at work I am professional and speak to people in a different manner than when I’m not at work. I wouldn’t say it’s an act as such but just ensuring professional boundaries amongst other things are adhered to.

Whereas I speak to my friends and family in a natural way that would be inappropriate at work. "

I think it's a cumulative issue. If you're only code switching in one way it's relatively straightforward, but if you have multiple types to consider in a single context, it becomes more challenging (on top of other social challenges that might exist).

Which doesn't mean that people don't, just that it can be a struggle.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Whereas I speak to my friends and family in a natural way that would be inappropriate at work.

Which doesn't mean that people don't, just that it can be a struggle."

I’ve struggled to say this all thread so thank you for articulating it better than I can

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Whereas I speak to my friends and family in a natural way that would be inappropriate at work.

Which doesn't mean that people don't, just that it can be a struggle.

I’ve struggled to say this all thread so thank you for articulating it better than I can

Not at all. And sorry for the derail into my stuff.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh and now I have a fuller appreciation of what code-switching is, I think it is a useful shorthand to describe what you are talking about.

Thank you. I didn’t mean for the thread not to be inclusive, I genuinely thought lots of people know what code switching is, especially if some of my friends do!

I had never heard of it, or at least not that term. Google knew what it meant. I learned something new, thank you.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Oh and now I have a fuller appreciation of what code-switching is, I think it is a useful shorthand to describe what you are talking about.

Thank you. I didn’t mean for the thread not to be inclusive, I genuinely thought lots of people know what code switching is, especially if some of my friends do!

I had never heard of it, or at least not that term. Google knew what it meant. I learned something new, thank you.

Definitely. Google solves (and causes, lol) a lot of problems.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I do . For instance , i can only say what I really feel to a very select few .

If I said what I felt to my boss for instance , I would be unemployed

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By *tew008Man over a year ago

edinburgh

"What do you mean?

Like when you're switching between BASIC and Javascipt

I feel you bro"

That’s evil

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Whereas I speak to my friends and family in a natural way that would be inappropriate at work.

Which doesn't mean that people don't, just that it can be a struggle.

I’ve struggled to say this all thread so thank you for articulating it better than I can

Not at all. And sorry for the derail into my stuff."

Don’t apologise. You added to the thread and for that I’m grateful

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Oh and now I have a fuller appreciation of what code-switching is, I think it is a useful shorthand to describe what you are talking about.

Thank you. I didn’t mean for the thread not to be inclusive, I genuinely thought lots of people know what code switching is, especially if some of my friends do!

I had never heard of it, or at least not that term. Google knew what it meant. I learned something new, thank you.

Google is such a life saver for me. Don’t thank me, I just enjoy learning new things and getting new perspectives. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I do . For instance , i can only say what I really feel to a very select few .

If I said what I felt to my boss for instance , I would be unemployed

Do you ever do that passive aggressive thing at work? I have found myself saying things like ‘as per my last email’ instead of ‘can’t you fucking read?’

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I do . For instance , i can only say what I really feel to a very select few .

If I said what I felt to my boss for instance , I would be unemployed

Do you ever do that passive aggressive thing at work? I have found myself saying things like ‘as per my last email’ instead of ‘can’t you fucking read?’

That can be entertaining. I used to really enjoy Q&As where someone would start "I don't know much about the subject but..." I'd since because invariably the person being asked was about to be demolished.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do . For instance , i can only say what I really feel to a very select few .

If I said what I felt to my boss for instance , I would be unemployed

Do you ever do that passive aggressive thing at work? I have found myself saying things like ‘as per my last email’ instead of ‘can’t you fucking read?’

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh and now I have a fuller appreciation of what code-switching is, I think it is a useful shorthand to describe what you are talking about.

Thank you. I didn’t mean for the thread not to be inclusive, I genuinely thought lots of people know what code switching is, especially if some of my friends do!

I had never heard of it, or at least not that term. Google knew what it meant. I learned something new, thank you.

Definitely. Google solves (and causes, lol) a lot of problems."

I usually know it's not wise to Google things I read on here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Oh and now I have a fuller appreciation of what code-switching is, I think it is a useful shorthand to describe what you are talking about.

Thank you. I didn’t mean for the thread not to be inclusive, I genuinely thought lots of people know what code switching is, especially if some of my friends do!

I had never heard of it, or at least not that term. Google knew what it meant. I learned something new, thank you.

Definitely. Google solves (and causes, lol) a lot of problems.

I usually know it's not wise to Google things I read on here.

. To be honest, with switching in the name this was still a risk. Thank you for taking it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I do . For instance , i can only say what I really feel to a very select few .

If I said what I felt to my boss for instance , I would be unemployed

Do you ever do that passive aggressive thing at work? I have found myself saying things like ‘as per my last email’ instead of ‘can’t you fucking read?’

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

*wince. Autocorrect

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why are you being so rude? Your snide mask has slipped right off. If you don't understand that's fine. You can't be the expert at everything!

I have to be honest GM, it does appear to me and clearly others, as if your ‘telling it as it is’ is getting ruder and more cutting as each week goes by. That’s why I was concerned.

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By *uriousscouserWoman over a year ago

Wirral

Also if I spoke in my scouse dialect they wouldn’t understand a word. That would lead to mutual alienation and I would be unlikely to work there again ??

That's really interesting.

My accent varies depending on my audience. In the middle of a chemical plant I am rough as arseholes, but presenting to the board my accent doesn't vanish, but it is certainly less pronounced.

It tends to be mimicry or mirroring more than anything; I don't pick up that I'm doing it half the time.

When I worked in North Carolina they loved the Scouse accent so I ended up sounding like a Harry Enfield sketch. In New York I used my normal softer accent. It wasn't a conscious thing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hello Steve, it’s you from the future.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Hello Steve, it’s you from the future. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hello Steve, it’s you from the future.

Can’t believe you’re still here

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Hello Steve, it’s you from the future.

Can’t believe you’re still here

Shush

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By *uke olovingmanMan over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm slicing and gcoding at the moment

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s me! Way back when.

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By *ickshawedCouple over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"It’s me! Way back when. "

Aww, when you were an ickle pickle

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

Oh nice bump! Like it. I'll waffle later.

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By *ou only live onceMan over a year ago

London

"It’s me! Way back when. "

Oh good. You can explain it again now...

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

"I was offered to switch code once but the Union shite just wasn’t for me "

Still this ^^

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s me! Way back when.

Aww, when you were an ickle pickle

There are 3 versions of me in this thread.

it’s like Spider-Man No way home

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s me! Way back when.

Oh good. You can explain it again now..."

Nice try. It’s just psychobabble

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By *ou only live onceMan over a year ago

London

"It’s me! Way back when.

Oh good. You can explain it again now...

Nice try. It’s just psychobabble

The best kind of babble.

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By *ensuallover1000Man over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

So the term essentially denotes the many different facades we adopt and the subsequent ‘roles’ we play according to in whose company we presently find ourselves?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So the term essentially denotes the many different facades we adopt and the subsequent ‘roles’ we play according to in whose company we presently find ourselves?

Essentially.

And I’d argue that for some, they don’t need to codeswitch because their way of speaking and acting is dominant. And is the accepted norm.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Got to admit - I only learnt this from Netflix, and it was interesting.

Slightly sad, but interesting all the same.

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"So the term essentially denotes the many different facades we adopt and the subsequent ‘roles’ we play according to in whose company we presently find ourselves?

Essentially.

And I’d argue that for some, they don’t need to codeswitch because their way of speaking and acting is dominant. And is the accepted norm. "

Ahh like switching from talking to neurotypicals after speaking to fellow neurodivergents! Like "let me just put on my normy disguise".

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"It’s me! Way back when.

Aww, when you were an ickle pickle

There are 3 versions of me in this thread.

it’s like Spider-Man No way home"

Wish I could post the meme.

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

Good code switching thread everyone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I skipped all the replies.

Are we talking programmable code?

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