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Short term girlfriend who was a long term friend
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By *urse89 OP Man
over a year ago
nantwich |
Girlfriend of 3 months has decided the sex was amazing but she’s not ready for commitment (previous relationship issues left her broken ??????) we’ve been friends for years upon years and from when we both broke up from our marriages, even shared the odd fumble throughout the years never going all the way...
we tried the last 3 months as a relationship because we both admitted we fancied each other but she’s not ready and can’t cope with pressure from previous relationships!
Apparently because I’m top three sex (never one to give me a big head) ever and man she’s top three for me without a doubt... she’s suggested friends because we are amazing friends but keep the benefits and try all the antics we planned for post Covid! Do I go for that thinking with my dick and keep the friends aswell or do you reckon I’ll get hurt and ditch it, I don’t really want another relationship after trying with her, but every bit of sex was filth and amazing!! What are people’s thoughts of my predicament
Sound full cliche but I’ve never clicked sexually and mentally a boy is there a list we started .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmm. It’s a difficult one isn’t it?
What I would do, is keep with the friends with benefits, and hope it would develop into something more. But that probably isn’t the most mature thing to do!
Hope you manage to figure it out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She’s said how she feels, wants NSA sex with you and that’s all.
If you don’t think you can cope with that arrangement then I guess you’re going to have to say goodbye. |
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By *urse89 OP Man
over a year ago
nantwich |
"Hmmm. It’s a difficult one isn’t it?
What I would do, is keep with the friends with benefits, and hope it would develop into something more. But that probably isn’t the most mature thing to do!
Hope you manage to figure it out "
That’s what my brain thinks it would do knowing it shouldn’t and if I do that that’s when I’ll get hurt... some of the things we wanted to do on our list I’ve never shared with anyone and some of them we even shared before we were at it like rabbits... I trust her because she’s honest and didn’t just go through the motions and she’s the girl I was going to when I split up with wife and then 2 girlfriends ... and didn’t succumb to rebound but she’s knows me and I rebound sex a lot... and she offered instead of risky shitty rebound sex.... I’m here if you need ??????? And was honest with the offer of fwb... oh the brain numbing ethical side |
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By *urse89 OP Man
over a year ago
nantwich |
Thanks ladies... I’m one of those sensitive types (male nurse) so I do care but laid back to,
I would want to take fwb because yes amazing... and 5 years of close friendship ruined by 3 months dating? It hurt and she Hurts because I am and always have been 1000% genuine and gentleman with her... would time help to be close friends with benefits?
She had the full “it’s not you it’s me I don’t want anyone and hadn’t until I wanted you” and I believe because again close friends.
I’m gushing but I don’t want actual friends to worry about me because I’m on 4 nights on 3 off whilst shit hits the fan. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Thanks ladies... I’m one of those sensitive types (male nurse) so I do care but laid back to,
I would want to take fwb because yes amazing... and 5 years of close friendship ruined by 3 months dating? It hurt and she Hurts because I am and always have been 1000% genuine and gentleman with her... would time help to be close friends with benefits?
She had the full “it’s not you it’s me I don’t want anyone and hadn’t until I wanted you” and I believe because again close friends.
I’m gushing but I don’t want actual friends to worry about me because I’m on 4 nights on 3 off whilst shit hits the fan. "
 xx |
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By *urse89 OP Man
over a year ago
nantwich |
Lots of replies thankyou!! I never use the forums because I don’t know how people repsond... usually sarcastically, but I can imagine with this scene this situation can happen lust vs longevity ???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let her go and don't stay friends. If someone didn't want me they wouldn't get any of the benefits either, including my friendship. If she then decides she does want you, then fair enough. |
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If you're emotionally involved and you know she doesn't want more(yet you do) then you're a bit fooked.
If you can squash your romantic feelings for her her then great, carry on. If not then you're cruising foor a bruising.
Saying that, if the sex is that good, sometimes it's worth driving over a cliff for. Depends if you can handle it? |
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By *urse89 OP Man
over a year ago
nantwich |
"If you're emotionally involved and you know she doesn't want more(yet you do) then you're a bit fooked.
If you can squash your romantic feelings for her her then great, carry on. If not then you're cruising foor a bruising.
Saying that, if the sex is that good, sometimes it's worth driving over a cliff for. Depends if you can handle it? "
Sex was/would be amazing and we’ve always had a dirty flirty friendship!! And I’ve work with her tonight and it was like it happened ages ago and sat together on break only difference was we didn’t go home together ?? |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"Let her go and don't stay friends. If someone didn't want me they wouldn't get any of the benefits either, including my friendship. If she then decides she does want you, then fair enough."
This  |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
I wouldn't throw it all away. What's to be gained by that?
I think your options are
Nothing
Friends
FWB
Is that right?
You need to think about what you want from this this and be honest with her. I think that her saying she's not in the right place for a relationship is a good thing, she's in touch with her feelings not just dicking you about.
How will you feel in each of the above situations if she gets a new boyfriend? Maybe that will lead you to the right answer.
Good luck
X |
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I struggle with the concept of FWB and feel that in a situation like this it's a cop out. If you really want to be with someone, value them and love them you put your heart and soul in to making a relationship with them work. You don't pick and choose the elements of a relationship that suit you and ask your partner to accept that it's disrespectful and unkind
I am aware that this is a generational thing and my views are probably very old fashioned but I think if someone is offering or asking for just sex and you want more you're going to get very hurt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I struggle with the concept of FWB and feel that in a situation like this it's a cop out. If you really want to be with someone, value them and love them you put your heart and soul in to making a relationship with them work. You don't pick and choose the elements of a relationship that suit you and ask your partner to accept that it's disrespectful and unkind
I am aware that this is a generational thing and my views are probably very old fashioned but I think if someone is offering or asking for just sex and you want more you're going to get very hurt."
good comment  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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U both fancy each other, are close friends so there would be a strong trust and the sex is great. Go for it cos after 4 months yous will be in love and she’ll have gotten past her previous fears. Now be a pal and go and leave her face like Spider-Man’s wrist. You’re welcome ?????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But if u don’t go along with her at least for a few months then you’ll spend years wondering whether u were right or wrong. A broken heart will toughen you up anyway ?????????? |
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"Girlfriend of 3 months has decided the sex was amazing but she’s not ready for commitment (previous relationship issues left her broken ??????) we’ve been friends for years upon years and from when we both broke up from our marriages, even shared the odd fumble throughout the years never going all the way...
we tried the last 3 months as a relationship because we both admitted we fancied each other but she’s not ready and can’t cope with pressure from previous relationships!
Apparently because I’m top three sex (never one to give me a big head) ever and man she’s top three for me without a doubt... she’s suggested friends because we are amazing friends but keep the benefits and try all the antics we planned for post Covid! Do I go for that thinking with my dick and keep the friends aswell or do you reckon I’ll get hurt and ditch it, I don’t really want another relationship after trying with her, but every bit of sex was filth and amazing!! What are people’s thoughts of my predicament
Sound full cliche but I’ve never clicked sexually and mentally a boy is there a list we started ...."
Shes telling you that you got too in her face in the 2 months. As her friend you were chilled etc as her lover you suffocated her and tried to control things.
You decide what you want dude nobody here can think for you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She sexfriended you until she finds someone she clicks better with. Sexually and mentally speaking.
Now it is up to you. Either you keep having sex for the sake of it, or you become her platonic friend and see how it lasts |
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By *urse89 OP Man
over a year ago
nantwich |
"U both fancy each other, are close friends so there would be a strong trust and the sex is great. Go for it cos after 4 months yous will be in love and she’ll have gotten past her previous fears. Now be a pal and go and leave her face like Spider-Man’s wrist. You’re welcome ??????"
After a few days this is sounding like a man with a plan we work together aswell and she knows we can wait till after Covid lockdown to decide and see where our friendship goes!
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