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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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.... that if you quenelle a teaspoon of Nutella before eating it as a bedtime snack, that it only contains half the calories? I’m going with it.
What magical (nonsense) tips have you made up for the secret-eaters among us?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That if you eat food from someone else's plate, it has no calories at all."
Especially if you order what you don’t like and then insist the other person you’re eating with is somehow responsible. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That if you eat food from someone else's plate, it has no calories at all.
I like this..how great woukd that be  "
It definitely has no calories for the person whose food you’re stealing. You cheeky sausage! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Break a biscuit/chocolate bar/pizza in half and the calories fall out."
But that means not being able to eat it in one mouthful, which as we all know, is the only real way to eat a chocolate bar? |
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"That if you eat food from someone else's plate, it has no calories at all.
I like this..how great woukd that be
It definitely has no calories for the person whose food you’re stealing. You cheeky sausage! "
I'm not above being cheeky..especially with a sausage |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That if you eat food from someone else's plate, it has no calories at all.
I like this..how great woukd that be
It definitely has no calories for the person whose food you’re stealing. You cheeky sausage!
I'm not above being cheeky..especially with a sausage "
How would you like that served, ma’m?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
".... that if you quenelle a teaspoon of Nutella before eating it as a bedtime snack, that it only contains half the calories? I’m going with it.
What magical (nonsense) tips have you made up for the secret-eaters among us?
"
Theres a reason i stay away from nuttella. If i have a spoon full i will end up doing the full jar. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Food is my kryptonite at the moment keeping this shitshow bareable 
Hang on - what, so you can’t touch it ?! Im touching it to much and food."
It. Only one of them? #eyeroll |
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"That if you eat food from someone else's plate, it has no calories at all.
I like this..how great woukd that be
It definitely has no calories for the person whose food you’re stealing. You cheeky sausage!
I'm not above being cheeky..especially with a sausage
How would you like that served, ma’m? "
Slowly |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
".... that if you quenelle a teaspoon of Nutella before eating it as a bedtime snack, that it only contains half the calories? I’m going with it.
What magical (nonsense) tips have you made up for the secret-eaters among us?
Theres a reason i stay away from nuttella. If i have a spoon full i will end up doing the full jar. "
Same |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Cheesecake is ok though 
Nutella is dangerous. I didn't buy any for years, then caved last week. I have to hide it behind the tinned tomatoes and try to forget it's there."
It talks to you, doesn’t it?
It’s a constant low humming nag, always there in the background. “Eat me. By the bowlful. You know that other mucky shit they call ‘chocolate’ is not anywhere near as good without the earthy bitterness of my nuts”. |
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".... that if you quenelle a teaspoon of Nutella before eating it as a bedtime snack, that it only contains half the calories? I’m going with it.
What magical (nonsense) tips have you made up for the secret-eaters among us?
"
Charity sweets are fat & calorie free |
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"I’m taking a different approach.
Do you know the C virus causes material (including tape measures) to shrink?
I have been reliably informed my bathroom scales contain said material too"
I think this is definitely true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That chocolate is basically a vegetable because it comes from a plant
What about the milk though? "
Comes from cows who eat grass so basically its salad |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That chocolate is basically a vegetable because it comes from a plant
What about the milk though?
Comes from cows who eat grass so basically its salad"
That’s a good point and well made! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m taking a different approach.
Do you know the C virus causes material (including tape measures) to shrink?
I have been reliably informed my bathroom scales contain said material too"
I knew it!  |
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free cake 
