FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > fairly new, still cant work out why people are so rude??
fairly new, still cant work out why people are so rude??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow...I've been on here almost two months and I am struggling with the level of rudeness of people. Can anyone tell me why people are so self-absorbed and down-right rude on here?? My number one pet hate is people that cant even be bothered to respond to a well-crafted message. Just delete them.... have you no manners, it must take all of 20 seconds to write a brief no thanks response? ?? |
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It is rude yes HOWEVER....
ive a female friend on here and she let me log on her account for a laugh.. and i logged on and she had 673 UNREAD messages...... would you reply to all 673 just to say no thanks? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you have been here 3 months and had 4 meets, thats good going. Yes the ladies do get alot of mail, so to get a reply you have to stand out from the rest of the guys sending messages, but we all get our messages deleted and no reply, you'll just have to get used to it |
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From the site FAQ
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"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!"
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you can safely assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?
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Hope that helps. If you find it too disheartening to get no reply to your messages, then it's quite likely that swinging is not for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gets on my nerves too, but like the others said seems to be just the way it is, nothing you can do about it. I'd love to find somewhere else that's better. Let me know if you do! LOL |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"
it must take all of 20 seconds to write a brief no thanks response? ??"
And it only takes 1 second to delete the unsolicited mail that they choose not to reply to!
They never asked you personaly to mail them so why expect them to reply if they don't want to?
You seem self-absorbed too in thinking that you deserve a reply to everyone you send mail to, you might think it was well-crafted they might think it's junk!
As always, just my own wee opinion!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"you have been here 3 months and had 4 meets, thats good going. Yes the ladies do get alot of mail, so to get a reply you have to stand out from the rest of the guys sending messages, but we all get our messages deleted and no reply, you'll just have to get used to it"
i always reply to u and will meet u  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unsolicited mail is like junk mail. You wouldn't reply to that, would you? Furthermore, nine times out of ten, a "thanks but no thanks" just invites a whiny or abusive reply.
Most of the mail I get is from men who are chancing their luck. It clearly states age range, that they must accommodate, body type I like, and that a pic must be attached. I'd say about 90% of my mail is outwith my criteria, and gets immediately deleted. I don't care how well crafted you message is, if it's not what i have asked for I don't reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've taken the time write a "well crafted" profile that sets out clearly what I am and the type of man I seek.
For the last couple of days I've been contacted by a local man who is the polar opposite to what I'm looking for: I've ignored him.
Tonight after his "I've got a hard on send me your number so I can wank" type message I responded in a brutally frank way before blocking!
What you see as "well crafted" doesn't always translate once it's landed in someones in box.
Make sure YOU are what THEY are looking for: many seem to disregard what others want! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've taken the time write a "well crafted" profile that sets out clearly what I am and the type of man I seek.
For the last couple of days I've been contacted by a local man who is the polar opposite to what I'm looking for: I've ignored him.
Tonight after his "I've got a hard on send me your number so I can wank" type message I responded in a brutally frank way before blocking!
What you see as "well crafted" doesn't always translate once it's landed in someones in box.
Make sure YOU are what THEY are looking for: many seem to disregard what others want!"
Least you only got it in a message, i had a voicemail of someone wanking, left by someone who told me they wouldnt abuse my number yet rang at 7.30 am yes i do mean AM in the morning  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you make sure you fit the criteria of the person you are sending mail to?
I get so annoyed when I get mail from guys outside my age range, when a preference is made, its made for a purpose, DONT push it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Actually if someone writes a nice message, even if they are not in my remit, i will respond. If its the "fancy a shag" etc type, no i wont, i just delete |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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some msgs are not worthy of a response. I just had one from a guy who was only informing me he was 'off dogging'....what am I supposed to say to that? lots of guys have no conversation skills and certainly not too hot on reading profiles either :P |
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Alas most males go for quantity over quality, in the hope that one of the 100 emails sent that day will result in a response.
Probably taking the view that it has a heartbeat, is on here, so happy for whatever kinky deeds they have on their mind.
Best times I've had, have been drag yourself out to places, and just strike up conversation with others. Enjoy a little company, and you will enjoy yourself.
Swinging is as much a social thing as a sexual thing in my thoughts. Hiding behind a computer is not going to help, unless you are a married party looking for another married party, in which case this is not really the place for you.
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By *andJRCouple
over a year ago
near winchester |
I think replying is common courtesy. We dont consider emails as unsolicited or junk mail. By signing onto a swinging site where the object is to meet with others, where email is the first method of contact, it seems bizarre to consider such mail as unsolicited. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think replying is common courtesy. We dont consider emails as unsolicited or junk mail. By signing onto a swinging site where the object is to meet with others, where email is the first method of contact, it seems bizarre to consider such mail as unsolicited."
...... THANKYOU, So I'm not alone in this quandry then....phew !!!
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Replying is NOT a common courtesy.....
We quite clearly state on our profile that we will meet single guys, but they have to attract our attention, and a one line message would not be the way to do that.
So why should we then reply to the mindless thoughtless messages saying "love your pics, please message me"(and they are the polite ones!)
We do get some interesting messages, and will reply to them, often asking the guy why he thinks we would like to meet him. It is amazing how many fail to read this, and assume we want to know why they would want to meet us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"you have been here 3 months and had 4 meets, thats good going. Yes the ladies do get alot of mail, so to get a reply you have to stand out from the rest of the guys sending messages, but we all get our messages deleted and no reply, you'll just have to get used to it"
I agree,what does the OP expect as shag every night of the week?
If someone doesnt reply to your emails or just deletes them they dont want to meet you.
Your choice to email someone there choice not to reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can understand how frustrating it must be to write a message to someone and have them just delete it. Unfortunately couples and single women do have lots of mail and after a days work I physically dont want to have to respond to every message. Yes it probably is rude and I do apologise for it, but its the truth.
I dont get many nasty emails, but I do get a lot of mails which say things like, hi how are you today, which yes is very polite and nice etc, but if Im not interested in taking it further, then a reply would further elicit yet another message, and sometimes if I put kisses at the end of a message, which I do on every message I send, here and in real life, then that can be seen as a come on etc, and it just escalates. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think replying is common courtesy. We dont consider emails as unsolicited or junk mail. By signing onto a swinging site where the object is to meet with others, where email is the first method of contact, it seems bizarre to consider such mail as unsolicited."
It's unsolicited if I specify pretty twenty somethings and get rude forty somethings. |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
My problem is that 90% of people that mail me dont bother to read my profile and check if they fit what i am looking for. They get a short sharp reply and then deleted but sometimes dont bother to reply. I always reply to those who clearly do read before mailing me. Couplrs do this too. A couple mailed me recently and he was almost 30 and she was early 20s. I said no thanks as they hadnt read my profile. She then mailed me bsck telling me for fooks sake he was almost. 30. I pointed out she was far from that age tho! another couple that dont read before mailing! I just block those that dont read and then they dont mail me again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow...I've been on here almost two months and I am struggling with the level of rudeness of people. Can anyone tell me why people are so self-absorbed and down-right rude on here?? My number one pet hate is people that cant even be bothered to respond to a well-crafted message. Just delete them.... have you no manners, it must take all of 20 seconds to write a brief no thanks response? ??"
This has been covered a few times in other threads.
I started out being polite and saying "thanks but no thanks" only to have either abuse hurled at me or more mails asking why and then email ping pong ensued when I wasn't even interested in that person in the first place.
So you are damned if you do, damned if you don't...!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My problem is that 90% of people that mail me dont bother to read my profile and check if they fit what i am looking for. They get a short sharp reply and then deleted but sometimes dont bother to reply. I always reply to those who clearly do read before mailing me. Couplrs do this too. A couple mailed me recently and he was almost 30 and she was early 20s. I said no thanks as they hadnt read my profile. She then mailed me bsck telling me for fooks sake he was almost. 30. I pointed out she was far from that age tho! another couple that dont read before mailing! I just block those that dont read and then they dont mail me again."
I totally agree, I am very clear on my preferences and it gets tedious when people mail clearly not having bothered to read them OR just think that they do not apply to them. |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"Wow...I've been on here almost two months and I am struggling with the level of rudeness of people. Can anyone tell me why people are so self-absorbed and down-right rude on here?? My number one pet hate is people that cant even be bothered to respond to a well-crafted message. Just delete them.... have you no manners, it must take all of 20 seconds to write a brief no thanks response? ??"
You've had 4 meets in 3 months!
Some people wait up to a year for a meet.
If people read and delete, it is a clear indication that they won't be meeting you, or do you think that everyone should jump to your tune and get on their knees to worship your cock.
And rude/lazy/bad manners???
NO......... personal choice and free will.
Move on, you are getting plenty of meets and your first paragraph, whinging about so called 'rude' people will do you no favours.
Cus lets be honest, you like your TV/TS, bi sexual men......... you won't be everyone's cup of tea! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I get messages from Sm's who have clearly not read my profile then I just delete and dont reply.
If they cant be bothered reading my specific want/dont wants on my profile then why should I give them my time by politely replying to them??
I can get upto 50 messages a day, and I would say at least 90% are out of age range etc etc but they still message me. lol
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All first-time mail is unsolicited. By definition.
Ok, if someone says "mail me" in their profile - an argument could be make that it is then solicited mail.
Maybe FAB should add a button "Nah!" which send a "I'm sure you are a very nice guy/gal; thanks but no thanks" message.
Um, then again - that takes up more space on their servers. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ah yes, an auto responder if they don't fit criteria, but that would mean addng criteria to the profiles. Ie age, race, body type, etc...that could work?? |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"Ah yes, an auto responder if they don't fit criteria, but that would mean addng criteria to the profiles. Ie age, race, body type, etc...that could work??"
People would still complain about "only getting the standard response" |
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"I think replying is common courtesy. We dont consider emails as unsolicited or junk mail. By signing onto a swinging site where the object is to meet with others, where email is the first method of contact, it seems bizarre to consider such mail as unsolicited."
Depends of course in how many messages you get in a week....I recently returned home from a fortnight on holiday to see 250+ messages in my inbox...I responded to the ones who met two parts of my stated criteria.
1. Those that live within 80 miles of me
2. Those under the age of 40
All the rest got deleted without reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Us women get hundreds of messages a day,we don't have time to reply to all messages,even if it is a thanks but no thanks. I don't do couples,they still message me,I don't do married men,men under and over a certain age,but they still message me as they are too bone idle to read my profile,my profile states straightaway what I want and don't want,its nothing to do with manners,and what about the ones that message "fancy a fuck"? you expect me to reply to that! Fuck that!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Us women get hundreds of messages a day,we don't have time to reply to all messages,even if it is a thanks but no thanks. I don't do couples,they still message me,I don't do married men,men under and over a certain age,but they still message me as they are too bone idle to read my profile,my profile states straightaway what I want and don't want,its nothing to do with manners,and what about the ones that message "fancy a fuck"? you expect me to reply to that! Fuck that!!"
I totally agree...way to go girlie!! |
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By *onny BonesMan
over a year ago
a block away from heaven |
Weird thing is mail like this only ever seem to come from single males. I too got frustrated the same as you. I have come to the assumption that if others are feeling the same then approx 85% of women on here are not actively seeking meets. So your thoughts on joing an alternative site may work in your favour. Don't feel down heartened mate, if you were spoilt for choice as most women on here are, you may act the same way. Some would be envious of the amount of meets you have managed in such a short space of time.
There are other elements of this site that remain interesting to me, and I enjoy things like forums, but wouldn't actively search for those who clearly aren't interested in the advances of a single male. We have no right to expect coutesy of anyone, so aslong as you personally remain polite and well mannered it shoes that you remain a cut above those that you currently think are rude. I hope all works out well for you, and find what you seek. Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Us women get hundreds of messages a day,we don't have time to reply to all messages,even if it is a thanks but no thanks. I don't do couples,they still message me,I don't do married men,men under and over a certain age,but they still message me as they are too bone idle to read my profile,my profile states straightaway what I want and don't want,its nothing to do with manners,and what about the ones that message "fancy a fuck"? you expect me to reply to that! Fuck that!!
I totally agree...way to go girlie!! "
A woman after my own heart: works for me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Us women get hundreds of messages a day,we don't have time to reply to all messages,even if it is a thanks but no thanks. I don't do couples,they still message me,I don't do married men,men under and over a certain age,but they still message me as they are too bone idle to read my profile,my profile states straightaway what I want and don't want,its nothing to do with manners,and what about the ones that message "fancy a fuck"? you expect me to reply to that! Fuck that!!"
Have to agree that an email saying fancy a fuck doesn't cut it, but if someone took the time to construct a decent email, would they not deserve a reply as they are different to the masses?
Curious as to peoples thoughts on that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people are so full of themselves - and very often for no apparent reason -that they do treat others badly..
this site to my mind harbours these people perversely due to the vast number of single males who contact the same.. thus creating the cause and effect of the problem... no cure just the realisation.. class discuss  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Us women get hundreds of messages a day,we don't have time to reply to all messages,even if it is a thanks but no thanks. I don't do couples,they still message me,I don't do married men,men under and over a certain age,but they still message me as they are too bone idle to read my profile,my profile states straightaway what I want and don't want,its nothing to do with manners,and what about the ones that message "fancy a fuck"? you expect me to reply to that! Fuck that!!
Have to agree that an email saying fancy a fuck doesn't cut it, but if someone took the time to construct a decent email, would they not deserve a reply as they are different to the masses?
Curious as to peoples thoughts on that!"
Not if they're not what I'm looking for, no!
My profile states no response if they don't meet my criteria, so it doesn't matter if I'm sent a message that would make the Poet Laureate proud, if the sender is a twenty something, married, bi Dom from Wigan he's not what I'm looking for so doesn't warrant a response! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Us women get hundreds of messages a day,we don't have time to reply to all messages,even if it is a thanks but no thanks. I don't do couples,they still message me,I don't do married men,men under and over a certain age,but they still message me as they are too bone idle to read my profile,my profile states straightaway what I want and don't want,its nothing to do with manners,and what about the ones that message "fancy a fuck"? you expect me to reply to that! Fuck that!!
Have to agree that an email saying fancy a fuck doesn't cut it, but if someone took the time to construct a decent email, would they not deserve a reply as they are different to the masses?
Curious as to peoples thoughts on that!
Not if they're not what I'm looking for, no!
My profile states no response if they don't meet my criteria, so it doesn't matter if I'm sent a message that would make the Poet Laureate proud, if the sender is a twenty something, married, bi Dom from Wigan he's not what I'm looking for so doesn't warrant a response! "
Ok if we are getting picky, if they send a decent email and match criteria, surely it would deserve a response even if a polite no thanks? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow...I've been on here almost two months and I am struggling with the level of rudeness of people. Can anyone tell me why people are so self-absorbed and down-right rude on here?? My number one pet hate is people that cant even be bothered to respond to a well-crafted message. Just delete them.... have you no manners, it must take all of 20 seconds to write a brief no thanks response? ??"
Ain't it annoying...you take the time to present a polite,interesting,humorous...and possibly charming message....and what do you usually get back...NOTHING!
But as many have already said...most of the ladies on here get hundreds of messages per week (some per day...at least all you had to be annoyed about was the lack of replies...I sent a message last night (it was polite and very complimentary) 10 mins later..I get a reply telling me to "Go fuck myself"...That's when you should get annoyed!
Ps..Ive had a lot more joy on POF...I think alot of the women on FS are spoilt for choice...far too many of us single guys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Us women get hundreds of messages a day,we don't have time to reply to all messages,even if it is a thanks but no thanks. I don't do couples,they still message me,I don't do married men,men under and over a certain age,but they still message me as they are too bone idle to read my profile,my profile states straightaway what I want and don't want,its nothing to do with manners,and what about the ones that message "fancy a fuck"? you expect me to reply to that! Fuck that!!
Have to agree that an email saying fancy a fuck doesn't cut it, but if someone took the time to construct a decent email, would they not deserve a reply as they are different to the masses?
Curious as to peoples thoughts on that!
Not if they're not what I'm looking for, no!
My profile states no response if they don't meet my criteria, so it doesn't matter if I'm sent a message that would make the Poet Laureate proud, if the sender is a twenty something, married, bi Dom from Wigan he's not what I'm looking for so doesn't warrant a response!
Ok if we are getting picky, if they send a decent email and match criteria, surely it would deserve a response even if a polite no thanks?"
Absolutely!
I always reply to someone who meets my criteria and has obviously read my profile. It's always a friendly, positive message back. In those circumstances I've always got a message back thanking me for taking the time to reply. There are some real gents on site: but we all know that! |
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"Us women get hundreds of messages a day,we don't have time to reply to all messages,even if it is a thanks but no thanks. I don't do couples,they still message me,I don't do married men,men under and over a certain age,but they still message me as they are too bone idle to read my profile,my profile states straightaway what I want and don't want,its nothing to do with manners,and what about the ones that message "fancy a fuck"? you expect me to reply to that! Fuck that!!
Have to agree that an email saying fancy a fuck doesn't cut it, but if someone took the time to construct a decent email, would they not deserve a reply as they are different to the masses?
Curious as to peoples thoughts on that!
Not if they're not what I'm looking for, no!
My profile states no response if they don't meet my criteria, so it doesn't matter if I'm sent a message that would make the Poet Laureate proud, if the sender is a twenty something, married, bi Dom from Wigan he's not what I'm looking for so doesn't warrant a response!
Ok if we are getting picky, if they send a decent email and match criteria, surely it would deserve a response even if a polite no thanks?"
No.... |
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"When I get messages from Sm's who have clearly not read my profile then I just delete and dont reply.
If they cant be bothered reading my specific want/dont wants on my profile then why should I give them my time by politely replying to them??
I can get upto 50 messages a day, and I would say at least 90% are out of age range etc etc but they still message me. lol
"
Strangely enough - I have only ever met people whose criteria I don't meet (not by much though)... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Us women get hundreds of messages a day,we don't have time to reply to all messages,even if it is a thanks but no thanks. I don't do couples,they still message me,I don't do married men,men under and over a certain age,but they still message me as they are too bone idle to read my profile,my profile states straightaway what I want and don't want,its nothing to do with manners,and what about the ones that message "fancy a fuck"? you expect me to reply to that! Fuck that!!
Have to agree that an email saying fancy a fuck doesn't cut it, but if someone took the time to construct a decent email, would they not deserve a reply as they are different to the masses?
Curious as to peoples thoughts on that!
Not if they're not what I'm looking for, no!
My profile states no response if they don't meet my criteria, so it doesn't matter if I'm sent a message that would make the Poet Laureate proud, if the sender is a twenty something, married, bi Dom from Wigan he's not what I'm looking for so doesn't warrant a response!
Ok if we are getting picky, if they send a decent email and match criteria, surely it would deserve a response even if a polite no thanks?
No...."
Confused.... what are you saying no to? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Us women get hundreds of messages a day,we don't have time to reply to all messages,even if it is a thanks but no thanks. I don't do couples,they still message me,I don't do married men,men under and over a certain age,but they still message me as they are too bone idle to read my profile,my profile states straightaway what I want and don't want,its nothing to do with manners,and what about the ones that message "fancy a fuck"? you expect me to reply to that! Fuck that!!
Have to agree that an email saying fancy a fuck doesn't cut it, but if someone took the time to construct a decent email, would they not deserve a reply as they are different to the masses?
Curious as to peoples thoughts on that!
Not if they're not what I'm looking for, no!
My profile states no response if they don't meet my criteria, so it doesn't matter if I'm sent a message that would make the Poet Laureate proud, if the sender is a twenty something, married, bi Dom from Wigan he's not what I'm looking for so doesn't warrant a response!
Ok if we are getting picky, if they send a decent email and match criteria, surely it would deserve a response even if a polite no thanks?
No....
Confused.... what are you saying no to?"
I think Jane is responding to the poster who believes a person deserves a response to a message if they meet the criteria! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I assure you it wasn't me - my phone's been silent all week as I watch it waiting for the first message... xxx"
i should think that sexy ass gets loads of messages  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've promised not to be ignorant tonight and answer all msgs....if the guys who msg me don't like the responses then tough! they should learn to read my profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"I've promised not to be ignorant tonight and answer all msgs....if the guys who msg me don't like the responses then tough! they should learn to read my profile "
I hope they report you if you abusive to them
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've promised not to be ignorant tonight and answer all msgs....if the guys who msg me don't like the responses then tough! they should learn to read my profile
I hope they report you if you abusive to them
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no i'm not being abusive to them just asking them to read my profile before going any further as they keep asking stupid questions. Personally a msg telling me that the guy is in work and horny is not going to work on me. Quite sick of the guys who think every single woman on here must be sluts who drop their knickers for anyone.
As for reporting for that....what about the guy who bombarded me with 14 friend requests in 3 days, then abused me for not accepting, blocked me AND is still not removed after I reported him. Seems like one rule for one person and another for others. |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"PS a question as I really don't know the answer, can you get multiple friends requests from the same person?"
Only if you keep deleting the one you get first and then so on and so on.
The block button definitely would look like a good option be used after the first couple of deleted requests though!  |
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i feel the real problem on here is the missmatch of how this site works . the guys send loads of messages some do read profiles and craft well put together messages others just copy and paste . but the girls set themselves up and just recieve them most messages have little flair or thought and very few are original maybe fab should turn things around so men can only reply ????? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This subject comes up alot with people i know on here and i have had many a experience.
I think its partly because the site is free and there for attracts flippant and dismissive people but of cause there's no real excuse,manners cost nothing.
Maybe it repersents socity today?
Its especially hard for guys,even polite one's get rude messages and i dont mean naughty rude just dam right ignorant.
These people are not worth it girl.Dont worry yourself there's plenty of nice people to going around.
much love nic xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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wise words,sure its tough for sensitive guys but get used to it you must.
girls might delete for many reasons,not just coz they dont fancy you,but that as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"PS a question as I really don't know the answer, can you get multiple friends requests from the same person?"
Not all at the same time....I deleted the request, he would send another one. After the second or third I should have blocked him. There was never even a msg to accompany the request. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i feel the real problem on here is the missmatch of how this site works . the guys send loads of messages some do read profiles and craft well put together messages others just copy and paste . but the girls set themselves up and just recieve them most messages have little flair or thought and very few are original maybe fab should turn things around so men can only reply ?????"
Not sure i totally agree, but i think there Ian definite scope for only accepting messages from certain criteria, ie expanding on the no single guys option... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When will people realise that not replying is not rude
Getting a reply telling you to "fuck off" is rude."
lol and oh how i've come so close to doing that today. |
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I treat messages and any subsequent reply on merit- If someones ACTUALLY BOTHERED to read my profile and made their message to me RELEVANT to what im saying..One liner`s, copy and paste jobs to countless other girls or ones saying "your hot,look up my profile and let me know if interested" just get deleted..If someone hasnt the time to spend on a decent ,relevant message, why would i want to waste my time on ever meeting them over the one`s who do? I think there are too many people bashing out too many messages when its quality over quantity that counts.. |
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I totally understand your frustrations.
Personally i think its rude when it seems like you meet the criteria stated for example, distance, physique, interests, habits etc There might be something they havent stated in their criteria example race and people just decide not to respond rather than explain.
All that said there are loads of genuine people on here who would respond, no thanks or take it further, to those people, i say Thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I treat messages and any subsequent reply on merit- If someones ACTUALLY BOTHERED to read my profile and made their message to me RELEVANT to what im saying..One liner`s, copy and paste jobs to countless other girls or ones saying "your hot,look up my profile and let me know if interested" just get deleted..If someone hasnt the time to spend on a decent ,relevant message, why would i want to waste my time on ever meeting them over the one`s who do? I think there are too many people bashing out too many messages when its quality over quantity that counts.. "
And those too that send you a message saying they like your profile and do you meet aged 25 from Exeter, yet it clearly states on my profile that i prefer my own age group, my financial circumstances are not good so i cant travel far |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well, it's heartening to find that I'm not alone in my thoughts. It seems most people understand the situation. Not sure there's an easy solution though?!?  |
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"Well, it's heartening to find that I'm not alone in my thoughts. It seems most people understand the situation. "
That might be a bad thing.
It's harder to come to terms with the fact people will delete messages and not reply when you focus on the people who agree with you.
It's no different to everyday life.
We all have phones... we choose whether we answer them or not. Letters, the front door, cards.... we all get birthday cards wishing is a Happy Birthday... do we always send a message to thank them for it.
If someone deletes one of your messages, why is it so hard to understand it means they are not interested, which is exactly what "no thanks" means.
People suggest 'auto-replies' and "no thanks" buttons to send a message on their behalf.... in reality they are already sending you an auto-message... it reads "deleted".
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I appreciate that the lovely ladies get bombarded with mail on an hourly basis on here, however, I do find it a little rude/annoying whatever spin you want to put on it, when you match someone's criteria, you send a polite and entertaining email, and you hear nothing but find yourself blocked!
What is that about? Would love to know! |
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"I get messages on a daily basis saying " I tick all your boxes" only to look at the pics and think, no, no you don't. Not even close."
Ahhhh that's the other common thinking amongst the 'no reply' threads... the amount where the OP states "I matched thier criteria" as a fact as if it is a given. The reality (which they choose to ignore) is.... there is a possibility they might, depending on how thorough the profile writer has been and of course how much what they look like plays a part in final selection. |
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"I appreciate that the lovely ladies get bombarded with mail on an hourly basis on here, however, I do find it a little rude/annoying whatever spin you want to put on it, when you match someone's criteria, you send a polite and entertaining email, and you hear nothing but find yourself blocked!
What is that about? Would love to know!"
Come on... you can work it out.... 2 words.... first 'not' .... second 'interested' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I appreciate that the lovely ladies get bombarded with mail on an hourly basis on here, however, I do find it a little rude/annoying whatever spin you want to put on it, when you match someone's criteria, you send a polite and entertaining email, and you hear nothing but find yourself blocked!
What is that about? Would love to know!
Come on... you can work it out.... 2 words.... first 'not' .... second 'interested'"
Or another 2, Fake Profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess alot also comes from peoples stance on manners, myself if someone sends me a decent message, i will reply!
If its a one liner or something then perhaps i won't |
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"I appreciate that the lovely ladies get bombarded with mail on an hourly basis on here, however, I do find it a little rude/annoying whatever spin you want to put on it, when you match someone's criteria, you send a polite and entertaining email, and you hear nothing but find yourself blocked!
What is that about? Would love to know!
Come on... you can work it out.... 2 words.... first 'not' .... second 'interested'
Or another 2, Fake Profile"
Either way... would you really want to contact them again? So they have done you a favour really haven't they. |
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"I guess alot also comes from peoples stance on manners, myself if someone sends me a decent message, i will reply!
If its a one liner or something then perhaps i won't"
That depends alot on what the individual's definition of a decent message is.
I wonder...... how many decent messages have you replied to in your swinging lifetime?
I can clean dog shit off of my shoes if I step in it.... I'd probably start throwing a few pairs of shoes away after doing it day in day out, month in month out.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hi we are a couple too other couples just deleate our messages too we have on our profile we hate that so please respond with a no thanks if your not intrested is fine still we get deleated so i send them a message saying thanks for the reply lol (then they block us lol)but in saying that if your a guy look at what the people want its no good if you are outside the age limit or if they are looking for a bi guy/couple etc etc and a 60 year old straight guy messages you it just begs to be deleated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"true, should've added, that this was in the past it bothered me, now i just don't worry, but it is still a bit annoying i guess
Make your mind up "
Do i have to? Nope i am a free spirit and able to do what i wish! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hi we are a couple too other couples just deleate our messages too we have on our profile we hate that so please respond with a no thanks if your not intrested is fine still we get deleated so i send them a message saying thanks for the reply lol (then they block us lol)but in saying that if your a guy look at what the people want its no good if you are outside the age limit or if they are looking for a bi guy/couple etc etc and a 60 year old straight guy messages you it just begs to be deleated"
I love it when someone writes on their profile, all emails will be replied to. hehe |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"Wow...I've been on here almost two months and I am struggling with the level of rudeness of people. Can anyone tell me why people are so self-absorbed and down-right rude on here?? My number one pet hate is people that cant even be bothered to respond to a well-crafted message. Just delete them.... have you no manners, it must take all of 20 seconds to write a brief no thanks response? ??"
Maybe the message is well crafted
Maybe someone matches ALL their criteria
Maybe the recipient just can't find a way to tell the sender that they find them sexually repugnant and downright ugly...... Easier to block! |
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