FabSwingers.com > Forums > Fabswingers.com site feedback > How to improve the M to F ratio ?
How to improve the M to F ratio ?
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I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting. |
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"I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting."
This.
I had over 50 messages before I'd even put up a photo or a bio, it was ridiculous. |
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1) remove the New Women feature
2) stop forcing new women who have just encountered the high quantity of poor quality messaging the New Women feature leads to to photo verify (no info is provided about the vetting of the individuals with access to such images, nor the security of the pic collection - and we all know what happened with that Madison thingy US cheating site)
3) stop accepting nudes from men (or anyone) for the purposes of photo verification because it makes men think very early on in their time on this site that sending dick pics is an acceptable thing leading to good outcomes.
. |
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"I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting."
I agree, let people dip their toes in, not throw them in the deep end.
Have filters set to block, for all new accounts.
Explain that they can message out and get replies (possibly), until they remove the filter.
That way people learn how to adjust filters and can avoid the barrage.
And a tutorial for new members,
Covering
filters,
block button
and "delete message = not interested"
Maybe a guide to writing a profile. This would improve all new profiles, and would improve the site generally. |
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By *ugby 123Couple 3 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting.
I agree, let people dip their toes in, not throw them in the deep end.
Have filters set to block, for all new accounts.
Explain that they can message out and get replies (possibly), until they remove the filter.
That way people learn how to adjust filters and can avoid the barrage.
And a tutorial for new members,
Covering
filters,
block button
and "delete message = not interested"
Maybe a guide to writing a profile. This would improve all new profiles, and would improve the site generally."
New users already get tips on how to use the site/ filters etc |
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By *ugby 123Couple 3 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting."
We just used our filters when we joined |
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did exactly that with this account. Left it alone and hidden.
But when I first signed up for a personal account I was open to messages from M and MF (and F, MM etc) because that is who I wanted messages from.
I just didn't want messages from everyone using the "New Women" search. And I very much doubt many real women (as opposed to others setting up F accounts falsely) do. xx |
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"1) remove the New Women feature
2) stop forcing new women who have just encountered the high quantity of poor quality messaging the New Women feature leads to to photo verify (no info is provided about the vetting of the individuals with access to such images, nor the security of the pic collection - and we all know what happened with that Madison thingy US cheating site)
3) stop accepting nudes from men (or anyone) for the purposes of photo verification because it makes men think very early on in their time on this site that sending dick pics is an acceptable thing leading to good outcomes.
. "
A good well thought out reply .. I do hope someone from Fabs reads and considers this. |
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"I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting.
I agree, let people dip their toes in, not throw them in the deep end.
Have filters set to block, for all new accounts.
Explain that they can message out and get replies (possibly), until they remove the filter.
That way people learn how to adjust filters and can avoid the barrage.
And a tutorial for new members,
Covering
filters,
block button
and "delete message = not interested"
Maybe a guide to writing a profile. This would improve all new profiles, and would improve the site generally."
Yes … well said |
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We have an account on a French site that forbids you putting cock, pussy or cum pictures on your public profile.
Just body and face images but nothing crude.
It does allow you to put these images on your private pics. |
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"I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting."
This when I joined as a single. 134 messages in 10 minutes. Most of them really disrespectful. I was in tears and nearly left but wanted to go to an upcoming event. I didn't know about filters. |
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"Most women I know have no interest in the swinging lifestyle. They find the whole idea distasteful and seedy. "
Because they are trying to impress men who tell them that meanwhile the men themselves are off cheating. |
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Have filters turned on as a default setting so when new members join it’s not as overwhelming. Have added security features to prevent images being screenshot so women aren’t as concerned that their pictures will be shared elsewhere. Have the option to block explicit pictures being sent via DM. Blocking should actually mean blocked - blocked users shouldn’t still be able to see profile pic/status updates etc. Give the option to turn off the ‘online now’ visibility and location settings. |
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By *lan157Man 3 weeks ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
Require a word count of say 35 words on a first message so proper first messages have to be sent rather than the three word messages that fill up women's inboxes . |
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By *oxy jWoman 2 weeks ago
somerset |
been on this scene 30++ years we were young there were more couples and women back then than there are now ... so going by that you wont balance it more men pour in daily the scene on the internet will kill its self its already happening with the private party scene where you have to be in the know to get anywhere very few men are involved .... its going back underground where the control is taken back.... |
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Men who repeatedly message should have their accounts deleted - that will definitely help to balance the numbers
But for real, unfortunately there is still a ‘women are sluts / men are studs’ stigma for those who have lots of sexual partners. If security / privacy / filters were improved on the site, more women would join.
Also, swinger clubs could help themselves by being more modern and stylish. The pictures that I’ve seen they all look grotty and seedy. They need to re-think that not everyone wants to be surrounded by red or black pvc plastic upholstery. That would help to attract more women. |
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Class. It's not a word that comes to mind when I log on to Fab. I know Mr W enjoys the seedy side. he acknowledges this place is a bit trashy and I agree. so I would never feel comfortable having a single account. To improve the m/f ratio steps need to be taken to make it more difficult to behave in a predatory fashion. Personally I think the 'remove picture' function in messages should be free to all users and not a perk of membership as this is a basic safety and security tool, should not be a perk. Also, I would like to see the 'new women' thing get turned off permanently and new users forced to complete a 10 minute tutorial on acceptable etiquette before being allowed to join and photo verification compulsory for all new profiles. In short I think it takes a little determined TLC to make the experience better and I don't associate that with Fab either.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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Well this thread turned into a man hating thread quickly. Which wasn't what the OP was wanting I think.
Someone mentioned it.. make it more accessible and acceptable for women to swing and stop making it into a couple only thing! |
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"Well this thread turned into a man hating thread quickly. Which wasn't what the OP was wanting I think.
Someone mentioned it.. make it more accessible and acceptable for women to swing and stop making it into a couple only thing!"
I don’t think it’s a man hating thread, but it is very difficult to discuss what would bring (or keep) more women on Fab without mentioning the things that *some* men do that make womens experiences unpleasant or offputting. |
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By *an1978Woman 2 weeks ago
GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please) |
"1) remove the New Women feature
2) stop forcing new women who have just encountered the high quantity of poor quality messaging the New Women feature leads to to photo verify (no info is provided about the vetting of the individuals with access to such images, nor the security of the pic collection - and we all know what happened with that Madison thingy US cheating site)
3) stop accepting nudes from men (or anyone) for the purposes of photo verification because it makes men think very early on in their time on this site that sending dick pics is an acceptable thing leading to good outcomes.
. "
Excellent ideas
I often use the "new in past 5 days" when I'm searching locally, to see if there are new members near me and sometimes send a welcome message,
but the "new women " feature is just throwing them to the wolves. |
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"Require a word count of say 35 words on a first message so proper first messages have to be sent rather than the three word messages that fill up women's inboxes . "
Men would just type ..hey xxxxxxxxxxxxxx till the 35 count was reached |
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"Well this thread turned into a man hating thread quickly. Which wasn't what the OP was wanting I think.
Someone mentioned it.. make it more accessible and acceptable for women to swing and stop making it into a couple only thing!"
It is very much acceptable for women to swing it is the men who take the piss of that acceptance. Most women wouldn't be in or on this site if they weren't already interested in the EXACT same thing that brings men here. What must women dislike is the disrespect they receive for wanting the very basic thing men "claim" they are looking for. Just because you like sex doesn't mean you are required to fuck anything with a pulse that says hi looking to fuck? |
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Proper verification.
It will stop the multiple account fraternity, and the fakes.
Charge for seeing pics, using forums, messaging etc.
Lots of the dross will disappear and even out the playing field.
C |
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"Proper verification.
It will stop the multiple account fraternity, and the fakes.
Charge for seeing pics, using forums, messaging etc.
Lots of the dross will disappear and even out the playing field.
C"
Lots of other people would disappear too. Plenty of people that want to use this site without making people uncomfortable, can't or won't pay more for it. |
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I feel there is a lot of blaming how this site is formatted and run.
It's got nothing to do with this site, all swinging or sex sites are the same, when it comes to the balance of gender, sexual orientation etc, its human nature. Men and women are wired differently when it comes to sex.
I have never seen hoards of women patrolling at the rear of nudist beaches playing with themselves, only men. Or groups of women hanging around dogging sites in the hope that a man will turn up. I've yet to see a Red Light District anywhere in Europe where men are sitting in a window whilst gangs of women are window shopping for sex. Men and women are differently predisposed for most women its quality over quantity and their feelings come into the equation, that certainly not the case with men. There are a lot of men who visit these sites who think its going to be full of nymphos having sex 24/7 with anyone who joins the queue, where as the truth is that as a couple the dynamic is much more important to the sex.
These sites and the internet in general mirrors real life, I know its a get away from reality fantasy world for some, but if it doesnt work for you in the real world, it isnt going to work on the web. |
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By *ucka39Man 2 weeks ago
Newcastle |
"I think this thread is going well. If I were in Fabs HQ I would be taking notes and calling meetings with my software developers.
Improving the site is a win win for all. "
It's not the site, but people, it's always people that ruin it and you've left with how things are by the ratio |
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My personal (I want to be clear on that) opinion is that I think people forget that the site's USP is that it's free to use. That's the main draw. Charging for basics would drastically alter the dynamic.
There are features that once enabled will make the site work in a way that suits individuals.
There will always be more men than women unless men are restricted from joining, do people really want the site deciding who they get to choose from?
In my opinion it's up to individuals to make the site work in their favour, if that isn't possible then it's probably not the site for them. It simply isn't possible to keep everyone happy. |
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"Well this thread turned into a man hating thread quickly. Which wasn't what the OP was wanting I think.
Someone mentioned it.. make it more accessible and acceptable for women to swing and stop making it into a couple only thing!"
It’s not man hating, it’s reality. As a couple we had messages in double figures within a few minutes, when we first joined. About a quarter of those were more than a couple of sentences. Of those that were, all were quite clearly cut and paste jobs targeting new women/couples.
We get that it’s #notallmen but it’s more than enough men that it can, and often does, make the site a very unpleasant place for women. Calling it man hating is denying people’s experience, and it comes across very badly. |
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Also what other sites do people sign up to without checking privacy settings as soon as they set up an account? I always do and sort out any filters that are available to use. Even the most basic of shopping sites I check the 'do you want to receive marketing?' questions. |
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By *ugby 123Couple 2 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Also what other sites do people sign up to without checking privacy settings as soon as they set up an account? I always do and sort out any filters that are available to use. Even the most basic of shopping sites I check the 'do you want to receive marketing?' questions. "
Oh thank god for that, going by this and other threads I thought we were the only ones who look at the settings of any site we join before we even start to use it and even without the need for a prompt. We did it on this one too.
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The available filters are not useful for all users. I would dearly love distance and smoking filters for example... One for anyone with public genital snaps (based on pic categories) would save me a lotta blocking too.
But I have had amazing evenings with, say, unverified single men without public pictures or site support. And I don't care to go all "don't speak until you are spoken to" on demographics I happily meet |
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By *bi HaiveMan 2 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
My personal view as a man who's been on here a fair while?
People complained about the ratios way back when I first signed up in 2008 after leaving a rival site where...yep...People complained about the exact same thing.
No amount of fees, charges and vetting will change ratios.
More emphasis and advice on setting filters may help, but this is a site for adults and we're all responsible for managing our own profiles rather than being hand held or spoon fed.
The tools are there should people choose to use them. Often for whatever reason they choose not to, whether that's because they want to be reactive rather than proactive, lack confidence to send messages themselves or get an ego boost by the volume of attention. And yes, I'm referring to women.
In 16 years on the site I've never heard a man complain of the volume of messages received. Never heard a moan about crass or undesirable messages sent by women. There's a definite gender imbalance and as such men will compete with eachother for any attention. Some will pounce on any new profile to beat the queue in the hope they'll be seen. It's not positive behaviour and it doesn't benefit anyone.
But you can't control any individuals behaviour and approach to making contact. Aside from filters of course, which are the responsibility of the individual - not the site. Those and the block and delete buttons are definitely the most effective ways of managing and preventing interactions.
No website can ever manage the gender ratio of it's members. Whether swinging, vanilla dating or just ordinary social media. |
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Verify everyone to stop duplicate profiles, pic sharers and fakes. Then ban people from making new profiles who are abusive or on here to only harass others.
The ratio would be fairly balanced then, plus a lot of women might come back who've been forced off by these behaviours.
Jigs x |
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By *eyeYCouple 6 days ago
Nr Leicester |
Let's face it couples and women (ok mainly just the women, whether part of a couple or not) are the more valuable commodity..
Do feel those unprepared should have finite access, but they will only set up another account.. 🤷 |
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"1.Make unsolicited dick pics a reportable offence, resulting in banning.
You're welcome.
They just set up a new account and the ratio remains the same."
Wouldn't even the basest of them get tired after 2 or 3 new accounts? Am I gravely understanding the phenomenon? |
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By *bi HaiveMan 6 days ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Let's face it couples and women (ok mainly just the women, whether part of a couple or not) are the more valuable commodity..
Do feel those unprepared should have finite access, but they will only set up another account.. 🤷"
Reducing people to commodities doesn't sit well with me.
Nobody is more 'valuable' than anyone else.
The ratios may be uneven, but surely that's a bonus for women and couples looking for men as it gives them significantly more choice and a non issue for those not looking to meet men as they can simply filter them out?
And as for the men and couples seeking women? It means they have to up their game, be proactive and put more effort in to their attempts at contact, rather than just create bland profiles and send uninteresting and unattractive photos and messages.
The ratios could flip the other way entirely and some would still fail to get interest, simply because they fail to use filters properly, aren't proactive and sit back and wait to be contacted. 🤷♂️ |
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"1.Make unsolicited dick pics a reportable offence, resulting in banning.
You're welcome.
They just set up a new account and the ratio remains the same.
Wouldn't even the basest of them get tired after 2 or 3 new accounts? Am I gravely understanding the phenomenon?"
No, I doubt it. Whilst I can't prove it I can imagine there are people on here who have over the years set up many accounts.
I don't think there is an acceptable solution. But as it doesn't require any verification it's quite easy to circumvent. |
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"I'd probably put filters on female accounts for the first five days or so, that can be changed after that. There are people watching the new accounts and messaging all of them. It's an onslaught, and it's off-putting."
This, no pictures and no text, and you get bombarded with messages by guys lurking waiting on women going online. |
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By *heelerMan 12 hours ago
Northants |
"A man that gets blocked 5 times by different individuals should be banned for a month.
Why? Blocks are used for various different reasons by different people."
It protects the females from getting abusive messages it would make guys think twice knowing the consequences |
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By *bi HaiveMan 4 hours ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"A man that gets blocked 5 times by different individuals should be banned for a month.
Why? Blocks are used for various different reasons by different people.
It protects the females from getting abusive messages it would make guys think twice knowing the consequences "
But many people block profiles simply because they're not interested in them to prevent them reappearing in future searches.
Those men have done nothing wrong. Why should they be penalised? |
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