FabSwingers.com > Forums > Fabswingers.com site feedback > Be more like Bumble?
Be more like Bumble?
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By *art123 OP Man
over a year ago
Stoke |
Is there any point in single guys being able to send first messages?
I’d say 95% of my (respectful) sent messages are ignored/deleted, it just leads to frustration.
Maybe it’s time for single guys just to be able to receive first messages, also freeing up ladies inboxes? |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
Maybe a better idea is a small ( say 5) daily limit of "first messages" that can be sent each day.This might improve quality of first messages and eliminate the single line messages that fill up inboxes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe a better idea is a small ( say 5) daily limit of "first messages" that can be sent each day.This might improve quality of first messages and eliminate the single line messages that fill up inboxes. "
This is a really good idea |
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"Maybe a better idea is a small ( say 5) daily limit of "first messages" that can be sent each day.This might improve quality of first messages and eliminate the single line messages that fill up inboxes. "
Let’s not assume that it’s the quality of the message that causes the lack of response!
It could be a number of reasons.
The female may not be looking to enter into a conversation.
The female may not find the incoming message/male to her taste.
The female may have received 1892 other ‘first’ messages that day.
The female may be tired and can’t be bothered to reply.
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"Maybe a better idea is a small ( say 5) daily limit of "first messages" that can be sent each day.This might improve quality of first messages and eliminate the single line messages that fill up inboxes.
This is a really good idea "
It is...a great idea |
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"Maybe a better idea is a small ( say 5) daily limit of "first messages" that can be sent each day.This might improve quality of first messages and eliminate the single line messages that fill up inboxes.
Let’s not assume that it’s the quality of the message that causes the lack of response!
It could be a number of reasons.
The female may not be looking to enter into a conversation.
The female may not find the incoming message/male to her taste.
The female may have received 1892 other ‘first’ messages that day.
The female may be tired and can’t be bothered to reply.
"
Or maybe it's as simple as someone random refers to a woman behind the profile as a "female" and she's just not feeling that they're on a same level of human interaction 
Missus |
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Or to make it even simpler, and not gender based, why not have an option to only allow opening messages from people they have interacted with?
That way anyone can ensure their inbox is only filled with messages from people they have previously messaged or winked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How about you can only exchange messages if both parties have winked at each other. That way the green light to converse is given.
And if you try to wink again it tells you you've already tried and can't do so again.
Upside is no unwanted messages and a reduced inbox for popular people or couples.
Downside, those who want attention won't get anywhere near as much lol |
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"How about you can only exchange messages if both parties have winked at each other. That way the green light to converse is given.
And if you try to wink again it tells you you've already tried and can't do so again.
Upside is no unwanted messages and a reduced inbox for popular people or couples.
Downside, those who want attention won't get anywhere near as much lol"
Make it optional.
Then those that want attention still can. |
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Fab is successful and loved because of the huge selection of people here. Restrictions would likely lead to some people not getting what they want, eg the ability to make contact with specific people and this could cause new user drop off, due to frustration.
New users have a key focus - to view and make contact with people. Restrict that and unintended consequences may follow.
I'd be more inclined to have the site suggest writers to create better messages.
Men not doing well here will often have poor profiles or are less attractive to the others here.
People have to learn how to do better, which means that they will probably make mistakes along the way. A steep learning curve, by having fewer restrictions, should facilitate this process.
Helping people to create realistic expectations is vitally important though. |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"Is there any point in single guys being able to send first messages?
I’d say 95% of my (respectful) sent messages are ignored/deleted, it just leads to frustration.
Maybe it’s time for single guys just to be able to receive first messages, also freeing up ladies inboxes?"
You have this option already... I.E. don't send any..or am I missing something ?
Ladies (all profiles) have options as to the messages they receive, message filters and apply as necessary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Weird.
This is a site for people to meet people. Restricting messages and only being able to talk to people you've talked to before is the opposite of that.
People can reject me and my messages for any reason they choose. They're just not attracted to me for example.
This means if the 5 we send off get rejected, we get no more through no fault of our own? |
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"Is there any point in single guys being able to send first messages?
I’d say 95% of my (respectful) sent messages are ignored/deleted, it just leads to frustration.
Maybe it’s time for single guys just to be able to receive first messages, also freeing up ladies inboxes?"
where would this leave couples... only the female half could message ?
What about trans or cross dressers... would it depend on how they were dressed . How they percieve themselves. How others percieve them?
What about gay men... can they just never message each other ?
What about forums... can men start a thread ?
I do t know where you want this to end OP lol  |
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Why are people forever trying to change things. Fab works perfectly ok as it is, if people use the options / filters available to them. Restrictions such as suggested will results in more fake profiles to get around the restrictions, resulting in more restrictions to deal with the fakes, then we go around in circles trying to address all the issues arising until Fab becomes so unpopular to its core users and people leave in droves. Don’t try and fix it, if it’s not broke. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe a better idea is a small ( say 5) daily limit of "first messages" that can be sent each day.This might improve quality of first messages and eliminate the single line messages that fill up inboxes. "
Not a bad idea, though maybe a limit of five first time messages, then they can still easily converse with those they already do |
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"Why are people forever trying to change things. Fab works perfectly ok as it is, if people use the options / filters available to them. Restrictions such as suggested will results in more fake profiles to get around the restrictions, resulting in more restrictions to deal with the fakes, then we go around in circles trying to address all the issues arising until Fab becomes so unpopular to its core users and people leave in droves. Don’t try and fix it, if it’s not broke."
Spoken like a true 65yr old.
Change is what makes the world go round.
Embrace it in all instances or you will miss out on so much in your remaining years |
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"Why are people forever trying to change things. Fab works perfectly ok as it is, if people use the options / filters available to them. Restrictions such as suggested will results in more fake profiles to get around the restrictions, resulting in more restrictions to deal with the fakes, then we go around in circles trying to address all the issues arising until Fab becomes so unpopular to its core users and people leave in droves. Don’t try and fix it, if it’s not broke.
Spoken like a true 65yr old.
Change is what makes the world go round.
Embrace it in all instances or you will miss out on so much in your remaining years"
Age has nothing to do with it, I could write a book on it. I’ve seen it so many times, if you want to ruin fab go ahead and introduce needless restrictions. |
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By *andBCouple
over a year ago
next door |
Ive always said it... sex (9/10) is always on the womens terms, as and when she wants it and who with.
With that said I feel men have more power/control when it comes to relationships (9/10).
Easier for women to get sex but man are harder to tie down. IMO |
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"Why are people forever trying to change things. Fab works perfectly ok as it is, if people use the options / filters available to them. Restrictions such as suggested will results in more fake profiles to get around the restrictions, resulting in more restrictions to deal with the fakes, then we go around in circles trying to address all the issues arising until Fab becomes so unpopular to its core users and people leave in droves. Don’t try and fix it, if it’s not broke.
Spoken like a true 65yr old.
Change is what makes the world go round.
Embrace it in all instances or you will miss out on so much in your remaining years
Age has nothing to do with it, I could write a book on it. I’ve seen it so many times, if you want to ruin fab go ahead and introduce needless restrictions. "
If it's optional (which it could easily be), it's not a restriction its a choice.
Choice is good. |
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By *nimal007Couple
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Maybe an algorithm that detects a lazy first message and flags the sender if they are prolific, prompting a warning system to encourage more effort?
Probably a bit convoluted, I don't know."
That would be easy enough to do with just a char counter to ensure there is enough text to make it a meaning full message....anything more than that would be very complicated as you would have to get AI involved |
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By *nimal007Couple
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Is there any point in single guys being able to send first messages?
I’d say 95% of my (respectful) sent messages are ignored/deleted, it just leads to frustration.
Maybe it’s time for single guys just to be able to receive first messages, also freeing up ladies inboxes?"
Have never used Bumble. Do the guys register there interest like on tinder? so like a match that the coupe or female get notified about then they can decide if they want to message back.
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Something is needed. So many new female members get put off entirely by the volume of messages they receive. You see status posts "I've been on here 2 hours and had 150 messages, can't keep up" (or worse) then they leave. Maybe their profiles should just be hidden to anyone more than x miles away for a couple of weeks. |
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By *redy81Man
over a year ago
London |
Just had a convo on another thread about exactly the same thing. Something is definitely needed, the current level of irrelevant messages make girls tired of fab, while the high amount of carefully written but never opened emails makes guys frustrated.
Idea #1:
What about if anyone could set preferences in private (which doesn't need to be shown as it can come through offensive) like body type, ethnicity, size, etc? And they could block everyone outside of those preferences from messaging them, just as it already exists with age and gender. If you are blocked, the page doesn't need to tell you what is the "problem" with you, it's enough to say that "sorry, this person is looking for someone else, you can't message them". It could also make those quite rude profile bios unnecessary, which say "DON'T MESSAGE ME if you are black/white/Asian, fat/bald etc... Because right now these kinds of profiles are quite common...
Idea #2:
Some sort of initial matchmaking before being allowed to message each other.
The wink option could be used for this, but the way it works now, it's useless.
Let's see my example. Privacy is important for me, so I would not post a public face photo here. But if I find someone who attracts me, I understand that showing my face is the very minimum if I want to start a chat.
What if I could send up to 3 photos with a wink? As photos are categorised when uploaded and manually verified by the admins, you can easily set only face and "page 3 material" photos allowed to be sent with a wink. So no unsolicited dick pics.
Maybe a really short message, 150 characters, or something like that.
It could offer quick filtering for girls, to see who are the ones they fancy and wish to proceed to a chat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Something is needed. So many new female members get put off entirely by the volume of messages they receive. You see status posts "I've been on here 2 hours and had 150 messages, can't keep up" (or worse) then they leave. Maybe their profiles should just be hidden to anyone more than x miles away for a couple of weeks. "
 |
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"Maybe an algorithm that detects a lazy first message and flags the sender"
Will it be like the algorithm that thinks a small green fruit and abrading something are the same illegal act?
That would be fun |
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"Maybe a better idea is a small ( say 5) daily limit of "first messages" that can be sent each day.This might improve quality of first messages and eliminate the single line messages that fill up inboxes. "
Like this, but an increase of limit if the person who’s messaged leaves a verification after a successful meet. ( not webcam) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ah, just leave it be. Its annoying to have to go through so many messages but people tell you a lot about themselves and their approach to fab in their first message and that makes it easier to know who Im more likely to enjoy spending time with.
If the people who would normally ignore my profile and send a rubbish message are forced/incentivised to write better ones then it just makes it harder for me to filter them out. 
I keep my single guy filters up most of the time anyway. Makes it all much more managable!! |
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"Maybe a better idea is a small ( say 5) daily limit of "first messages" that can be sent each day.This might improve quality of first messages and eliminate the single line messages that fill up inboxes.
Let’s not assume that it’s the quality of the message that causes the lack of response!
It could be a number of reasons.
The female may not be looking to enter into a conversation.
The female may not find the incoming message/male to her taste.
The female may have received 1892 other ‘first’ messages that day.
The female may be tired and can’t be bothered to reply.
Or maybe it's as simple as someone random refers to a woman behind the profile as a "female" and she's just not feeling that they're on a same level of human interaction
Missus "
!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How about you can only exchange messages if both parties have winked at each other. That way the green light to converse is given.
And if you try to wink again it tells you you've already tried and can't do so again.
Upside is no unwanted messages and a reduced inbox for popular people or couples.
Downside, those who want attention won't get anywhere near as much lol"
Simple Acid test would help.. Best idea yet.
Weeds out the issues we have Atm.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why are people forever trying to change things. Fab works perfectly ok as it is, if people use the options / filters available to them. Restrictions such as suggested will results in more fake profiles to get around the restrictions, resulting in more restrictions to deal with the fakes, then we go around in circles trying to address all the issues arising until Fab becomes so unpopular to its core users and people leave in droves. Don’t try and fix it, if it’s not broke.
Spoken like a true 65yr old.
Change is what makes the world go round.
Embrace it in all instances or you will miss out on so much in your remaining years"
No, this is why it's called a revolution, because it's the same old shit just going round and round. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the way to solve this and many other problems is to only allow photo verified members to contact others. Or set a time limit up so you have to be registered for at least a week before you can send messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it is a good idea if women made the first move, as I have read in theses forums there's an issue with full mail boxes or rude messages from men etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP - no.
Don't keep a record personally on how many respond and how many do not. Seems like the unhealthy part is going on inside your noggin'. There are far too many people, especially men who send out crap messages and have crap profiles. We block them most of the time on receipt though sometimes we waste their time and other times we point out what we don't like and yet they continue as though we are going to change our minds - baffling.
Make yourself stand out and put in a bit more effort than a message if you want to meet people. It really is as simple as that. |
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