FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Are swingers clubs worth it for single men
Are swingers clubs worth it for single men
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"So I'm just an average guy, single dad in Birmingham. Have the kids full time so accommodating is difficult and in this this world where sometimes the nearest local female looking for a single man can be plus 10 miles. Compared to the 200+ men in between makes it very hard to stand out. Add in the fact I don't like to message to many because I know all the shit messages women get already. So not to go on to much, is it worth signing up for a club to actually meet/see like minded people in the flesh where there is more chance of starting a conversation " As you have Xtasia and Chams right on your doorstep, it wouldn’t be too much trouble to visit either, and just try them out for the experience. There is usually a waiting list for single guy membership for Chams though, so do email the club for info. Both clubs restrict times when single guys are ‘allowed’ in, and neither could be viewed as a ‘cheap’ night out. I’ll be honest; I’ve had better nights out down Broad Street, and the male:female ratio will always be better than in a swinger club! 
You don’t have to pay to use Fab, this is the only site of its kind, where a solo guy can send/receive/read messages completely free of charge, all the time. So you can access what the site offers at any time convenient to you, around your day to day commitments.
You’re worried that most women are 10 miles from you? Most are 30/40 miles from me. My best piece of advice; use your block button to filter out all those profiles you’re likely to not be a match for. Instead of being a cat among pigeons, aim for that one clay pigeon instead….
Good luck mate  | |||
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"So I'm just an average guy, single dad in Birmingham. Have the kids full time so accommodating is difficult and in this this world where sometimes the nearest local female looking for a single man can be plus 10 miles. Compared to the 200+ men in between makes it very hard to stand out. Add in the fact I don't like to message to many because I know all the shit messages women get already. So not to go on to much, is it worth signing up for a club to actually meet/see like minded people in the flesh where there is more chance of starting a conversation As you have Xtasia and Chams right on your doorstep, it wouldn’t be too much trouble to visit either, and just try them out for the experience. There is usually a waiting list for single guy membership for Chams though, so do email the club for info. Both clubs restrict times when single guys are ‘allowed’ in, and neither could be viewed as a ‘cheap’ night out. I’ll be honest; I’ve had better nights out down Broad Street, and the male:female ratio will always be better than in a swinger club!
You don’t have to pay to use Fab, this is the only site of its kind, where a solo guy can send/receive/read messages completely free of charge, all the time. So you can access what the site offers at any time convenient to you, around your day to day commitments.
You’re worried that most women are 10 miles from you? Most are 30/40 miles from me. My best piece of advice; use your block button to filter out all those profiles you’re likely to not be a match for. Instead of being a cat among pigeons, aim for that one clay pigeon instead….
Good luck mate "Annual membership at Xtasia is £40 a year. Less than £1 a week. Entry (from memory, it's been an age since I went as a single) is £40. It's open from 8 till 3am, so 7 hours. So just over £5 and hour. Single guys who aren't pushy and who are sociable and go with zero expectations can do very well there. Seems odd to break down the numbers maybe, but in comparison to a ticket to the football, a meal out, golf club membership etc....is it really that expensive? 🤔 Of course plenty will say clubs don't welcome single guys based on their own experiences. But club life for single guys and the experience you have is down to just one person. You. | |||
"So I'm just an average guy, single dad in Birmingham. Have the kids full time so accommodating is difficult and in this this world where sometimes the nearest local female looking for a single man can be plus 10 miles. Compared to the 200+ men in between makes it very hard to stand out. Add in the fact I don't like to message to many because I know all the shit messages women get already. So not to go on to much, is it worth signing up for a club to actually meet/see like minded people in the flesh where there is more chance of starting a conversation As you have Xtasia and Chams right on your doorstep, it wouldn’t be too much trouble to visit either, and just try them out for the experience. There is usually a waiting list for single guy membership for Chams though, so do email the club for info. Both clubs restrict times when single guys are ‘allowed’ in, and neither could be viewed as a ‘cheap’ night out. I’ll be honest; I’ve had better nights out down Broad Street, and the male:female ratio will always be better than in a swinger club!
You don’t have to pay to use Fab, this is the only site of its kind, where a solo guy can send/receive/read messages completely free of charge, all the time. So you can access what the site offers at any time convenient to you, around your day to day commitments.
You’re worried that most women are 10 miles from you? Most are 30/40 miles from me. My best piece of advice; use your block button to filter out all those profiles you’re likely to not be a match for. Instead of being a cat among pigeons, aim for that one clay pigeon instead….
Good luck mate
Annual membership at Xtasia is £40 a year. Less than £1 a week. Entry (from memory, it's been an age since I went as a single) is £40. It's open from 8 till 3am, so 7 hours. So just over £5 and hour. Single guys who aren't pushy and who are sociable and go with zero expectations can do very well there.
Seems odd to break down the numbers maybe, but in comparison to a ticket to the football, a meal out, golf club membership etc....is it really that expensive? 🤔
Of course plenty will say clubs don't welcome single guys based on their own experiences. But club life for single guys and the experience you have is down to just one person.
You. "I’m in Birmingham for the weekend in June, and hoping to visit Xtasia for my first time there, and my 10th club overall! I won’t be able to ‘make the most’ of an annual membership fee not being a local, but like every other club I’ve been to, I will go with a mindset to be pleasantly surprised. You can of course, rely on me leaving an unbiased, honest review afterwards….
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"We go to clubs looking for single men so I bloody hope so haha "Same here | |||
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"Anyone know any good clubs to go to never been to one. I’m from London" Depends on what you seek and expect I personally would recommend Our Place For Fun which is near Alexandra Palace for me I've found it to be the friendliest club in London.Though as you're relatively young and fit Le Boudoir may be better for you | |||
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"Definitely if you put the effort in to speak to couples and single women without expectation I can almost guarantee you will have a good night even without sex." Exactly right. We’ve been to so many club nights where there’s been single guys - including ones Sophie blatantly fancied - hanging around the edges being all shy and aloof. Just be friendly, be interesting and be confident. | |||
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"So I'm just an average guy, single dad in Birmingham. Have the kids full time so accommodating is difficult and in this this world where sometimes the nearest local female looking for a single man can be plus 10 miles. Compared to the 200+ men in between makes it very hard to stand out. Add in the fact I don't like to message to many because I know all the shit messages women get already. So not to go on to much, is it worth signing up for a club to actually meet/see like minded people in the flesh where there is more chance of starting a conversation " I would say, like everything in life, give it a whirl. Just manage your expectations, go with a smile, honesty, an open mind and be yourself. You mention the number of single guys on this site, those numbers can be a tad irrelevant as 80% are probably timewasters. So putting yourself out there means you are only dealing with the 20% ish that actually meet in real life. I'd also say try a few different places on different nights. Good luck and enjoy yourself.  | |||
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We go to clubs to meet single males and 100% of the time the ones who have ended up in private rooms with us have just been decent chatty guys that we got on with. | |||
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In my opinion, yes, it’s absolutely worth it as long as you go with the right attitude and approach.
It can be difficult but as others have said you have to pluck up the courage to actually approach and talk to people, there’s so many single guys that just sit or stand in the corner and make no attempt to interact with other club goers.
Treat them like you’re in a pub, not a swing club. Talk normally about ‘normal’ things and don’t dive into crude or sexual talk, take time to build a rapport.
Obviously there needs to be some chemistry and, as others have said, the fact that you can strike up a conversation with people doesn't necessarily translate to them wanting you to join them when it comes to play, but it invariably increases your chances greatly.
I’m absolutely no Adonis but have always had some level of success when visiting my local club but it mostly comes down to putting in the ground work and not expecting it to necessarily just fall in your lap.
Alternatively chose your event nights carefully and you might increase your chances - eg greedy girl nights etc you’re possibly more likely for some action but again, you need to go with the right approach. Nothing is a given! | |||
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"So I'm just an average guy, single dad in Birmingham. Have the kids full time so accommodating is difficult and in this this world where sometimes the nearest local female looking for a single man can be plus 10 miles. Compared to the 200+ men in between makes it very hard to stand out. Add in the fact I don't like to message to many because I know all the shit messages women get already. So not to go on to much, is it worth signing up for a club to actually meet/see like minded people in the flesh where there is more chance of starting a conversation " Mrs N here. You said it yourself. You do get to meet people in person and start convosations. Clubs are a great way to meet, socialise and possibly play. I would say sighn up and go. Also it's worth researching various events and private party's. You're under 45 so might be worth looking at 'what Women want'. It's a private party AT Vanilla Alternative near St Neots. Bit of a treck from Birmingham. But worth it. It's a great event. Well mannered, hot, single guys are what makes it the highlight of my month. | |||
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