We put the ‘oral’ in ‘or all of us could be involved?’

Couple in Mid Cornwall, South West, UK

Joined: over a year ago
Last on: 2 days ago

Welcome to the page of a couple who decided to settle first, and fuck other people second.

She has the body of a woman. The police investigation can’t find it. Powerfully capable, unique, nerdy and confident, she has a laugh so filthy it violates the current government’s green policy.

Physically she has boobs so big they require a solid grasp of the alphabet to get to, and thighs you really want to have around your face.

He has the body of a man. It wandered off. With the ability to be adequate at pub quizzes and skilled at hitting a Charlie XCX CD with a bow and arrow from great and heroic distances, his sarcasm degree is laminated to keep the tears from staining it.

He has a penis. It’s designed to have him at one end and you at the other. He can’t dance, but he knows all the moves to sex. Forward, then backward, right?

We’re not thin, or models. We eat pizza and drink beer. We’re not the leathery lust machine that is Jabba the Hutt, but we’re Henry Caville in mind, not body. Yes, we’re angry at that too.

We’re nerds. He plays games and paints tiny figures and praises The Emperor, she is currently speed-running The Binding of Isaac and watches bullshit documentaries. Give us board game recommendations!

What’s your favourite Bob’s Burgers character? Who’s your favourite Imperial Guard Regiment? ACOTAR or Fourth Wing?

Here’s some carefully vetted reviews:

‘Get your hands off my fucking pupa’ - Corvo, Solar Opposites.

‘No I don’t want you to be my grown adult children, stop contacting me.’ - Henry Caville, actor and hunk.

‘If you choose to answer the door naked and erect again, we will stop visiting your homestead.’ - Jehovah’s Witnesses, local

Checked regularly - 14/09/24

We believe in vaccinations.

Safe sex: no guns.

No institution, whether governmental, educational or otherwise has any right of access to this profile or images.

Sir

32 years old, Bi-curious

6'2" 188cm
Average
Non smoker
Social drinker
No tattoos
1 or 2 piercings

Ma’am

32 years old, Bi-curious

5'7" 170cm
Curvy
Non smoker
Social drinker
No tattoos
More than 5 piercings

Looking For

Couples (MF) Couples (FF) Men Women
Aged from 23 to 39 only
Will meet smokers

Meeting

Can accommodate
Can travel

Interests

Adult Parties, Blindfolds, Cuckolding, Cybersex, Gangbangs, Group Sex, Making Videos, Oral, Safe Sex, Same Room Swapping, Soft Swing, Spanking, Swingers Clubs, Taking Photos, Threesomes, Toys, Voyeurism

Showing first 11 of 21 public images (see all 21)

10 more images on their public gallery

Verified Genuine Profile

*unhunters23 (32), Couple on 24 July 2024 by Meeting in person:
Finally met these two last weekend! Had an amazing time getting to know them over the day, and then really got to know them later that evening. So warm and kind and understanding of our first time, and very hot to boot! Cannot wait to meet up with them again socially and for fun

*j2996 (28), Couple on 19 August 2023 by Meeting in person:
Never felt so relaxed and laid back with a couple. Lovely people, great laugh and down to earth. A great fucking time was had! 10/10 would recommend ;) we can't wait till next time !

*uicyiguana (31), Couple on 10 July 2022 by Meeting in person:
Finally getting around to verifying this amazing couple. We were both shocked that we managed to leave this encounter with our trousers still on after having the pants charmed off of us by this charismatic duo. There was no stop to the fun all evening, and that was in public. We can only imagine the shenanigans the four of us will get up to behind closed doors. If you ever find yourself down their neck of the woods or have a surplus of kidneys, they are definitely worth meeting.

*ollyandD (38), Couple on 23 January 2022 by Meeting in person:
What an amazing couple! Intelligent, funny and definitely know what they are doing! Our very first experience, and certainly one that we felt extremely comfortable with. Very, very much looking forward to meeting with these two again very soon. Was lovely to be able to talk to them, and was even better when the chat moved to the bedroom. If you are after a well rounded, gorgeous couple, then look no further!

*trawberriesPL (32), Couple on 20 August 2021 by Meeting in person:
We met this two for social meeting. And all we can say is WOW! Both stunning, flirty and amazing people! The force is strong in this two. They can definitely name more then 151 pokemons and know everyrhing about Hogwart. They made us amazing tea. Was super tasty! Don't miss opportunity to meet them! We feel shame we couldn't put our hands on them.. but we will ;) hopefully sooner then later! :* see you! ;)