Quirky blonde seeks…..

Woman in Lichfield, West Midlands, UK

Joined: over a year ago
Last on: 6 hours ago

Hi and thank you for visiting please have a read of my profile, this will save my time and yours. I know it’s long but it’s also funny, meeting as a single female.

1. Attach a recent and clear face pic to prevent me from deleting your ass unread, not a 2018 wearing sunglasses, a hat and standing 500’ from the camera. I don’t care what’s in your message, what the headline is or how close you are, if there isn’t a pic attached I’ll just delete it every time

2. Don’t attach a cock pic, this makes you look extremely stupid, look around you, they all look the same. Also if you have a pic of your cock on your profile with a sky remote next to it presume your not for me.

3. Be local, I have enough trouble getting guys to show up who live in the next street so messaging me to tell me I’m amazing from 100 miles away will get you deleted, I’m not chasing compliments, I honestly don’t care if you like me or not.

4. “Want to chat” when your the other end of the country = please talk dirty so I can wank…..move on.

5. “Hey I’m local, let’s meet “ when you look like you live under a bridge is only going to end one way and it’s not going to be with me getting undressed.

6. Contact moonpig, I simply don’t care if it’s your birthday.

7. Calling me a bitch, saying I’m rude or something similar because I deleted your messages or said “no” is funny, this makes me laugh and gives me a warm feeling inside and shows how desperate you are for my attention.

8. I’m not trip advisor so asking me for feedback is only going to end in tears for you.

9. “I know you, I saw you yesterday, we spoke before, do you remember me, hello stranger, long time no speak, we used to be friends on my old profile, I saw you at a party before, we’re you in Asda yesterday, I’m in your area, I’m your way on business next week,” Isn’t going to work, I’m not that gullible and will have me shouting over to my husband “I’ve got another twat here who says he knows us from Tesco and a guy in a hoodie in the area on business next month away” this is when he mumbles “block the twat”.

10. Presume I’m fine, no that’s not wine, no I’m not attracted to bbc, no I don’t want to borrow your husband, no I don’t want to see your cock and no I don’t want to watch you on cam.

11. If you send me your number saying “wuu2 bay, you is lush” I will presume your currently having a stroke and need medical attention, I’ll also pass your number on to the next 10 guys who wants phone sex so don’t complain when Bill and Bigcockfrank75 call you and start heavy breathing 15 times an hour.

12. Stop putting hmmm, mmmm, he he, ha ha at the end of your message, “I want to fuck you mmm” makes you sound like Benny Hill and “I want to fuck you he he” is just plain creepy.

13. Remember attraction is my choice, never ever yours.

14. If your upset I don’t reply…I don’t care, I can’t stress enough how insignificant your good opinion of me is, simply move on, it’s not rude to not reply, it is rude to keep messaging when I’m obviously deleting you because I don’t like you.

15. If I delete your first message, the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th etc are not going to help you, you still look the same.

16. I don’t do cyber, if your talking to a girl who’s in to cyber, chances are excellent that girls called Dave.

17. Telling me what you want to do to me is boring, all you will of achieved is making me throw up in my mouth a little and put me off my breakfast.

18. Yes I’m a bitch, even the devil says “oh shit she’s awake” when I get up.

19. Yes I’m bisexual-putting that out there on the rare chance it’s not only me that’s real on here. (Fems your worse than the guys)

20. No I won’t meet you alone, no fun for me and my husband so why would I?.

21. Groups-yes please, if you want a quick blow job in the back of a car that girl went a while ago.

22. “Can I ask you a question?” ….nope

23. Things I don’t want to do with you, watch you wank, talk on SC or Skype and I don’t care if WhatsApp is easier for you.

24 “Please give me a chance, I have a wonderful personality, I’m a laugh, but I really like you” is not going to help you, I’m shallow, I’m looking for looks and body, if you think that’s harsh your on the wrong site.

25 Telling me I’m not your type and I have a big ass after I said no to your “omg I want you bad” message makes you look 12 and makes me laugh at you, out loud and for real.

26 “I wish I was closer” well your not so don’t send a pointless message

27 “male half here, my wife is just out, at work, in bed, not around, would you meet me?” Get divorced and find a new wife

28 “I don’t want a reply etc I just wanted to say you look great”…..five minutes later…”not your type?? Why no reply??”

29. When guys randomly send a “No thanks” message or an insult when we’ve never spoken before, this is what happened. You looked at my pictures and got mad at me because you realised that I’d turn you down flat if you asked due to the fact you struggle on here, it’s like you walked into Mercedes, saw that gorgeous AMG you wanted but realised you’ll never be that lucky, you turned around, left and told yourself that you didn’t like the wheels anyway and the interior wasn’t nice enough, just keep in mind you were insignificant to the Mercedes.

30. “Is this your first time on a swinging site? I can help you, do you want to discuss any kind of fantasy with me?”…are you all programmed to ask the same shit?? I’ve been here for 8 years, this is my 4th account and do I look fucking shy???

31. First message of “who do you think you are? Do you think your hot because your not? Etc etc makes me smile to myself because I know you took the time to look at me, read my profile then look at me some more whilst coming to the conclusion I wouldn’t meet you so you thought you would take your disappointment out on me = warm feeling for me

32. Do you like a man in uniform? This has to be the most ridiculous question I’m asked, only two people thing a uniform makes you look more attractive, you and your mom.

oh and to Sydney University and it’s partners…..crack on guys, I don’t give a shit.

Love and kisses

Lou x

Louise

50 years old, Bisexual

5'6" 168cm
Athletic
Non smoker
Social drinker
No tattoos
No piercings

Looking For

Couples (MF) Couples (MM) Couples (FF) Men Women
Aged from 18 to 49 only
Will meet smokers

Meeting

Can accommodate
Cannot travel

Interests

Webcams, Watersports, Voyeurism, Toys, Threesomes, Taking Photos, Swingers Clubs, Spanking, Same Room Swapping, Safe Sex, Role Play, Rimming, Oral, Making Videos, Group Sex, Gangbangs, DP, Dogging, Blindfolds, Anal, Adult Parties

See 6 Public Videos

Showing first 11 of 22 public images (see all 22)

11 more images on their public gallery

Verified Genuine Profile

*aid back luke 11 (39), Man on 17 December 2024 by Meeting in person:
I’ve met Louise quite a few times now. Incredibly sexy, gorgeous looking and very easy to get along with. The sex, kisses, teasing and chemistry are simply insane. Hubby is very chilled and equally very easy to get along with. Amazing couple

*allenough (43), Man on 28 November 2024 by Meeting in person:
Arranged to meet LouiseFS at pretty short notice and that turned out to be the best decision of the year. What can I say about her that hasn’t already been written? Gorgeous in person, so incredibly sexy with a figure to die for. I can’t wait for round two…

*unIShining (32), Man on 30 June 2024 by Meeting in person:
I really don't know how to describe this perfect woman. In my opinion she is one of the most hot women on here and she is really extraordinary in bed but also able to substain a conversation ( such as most women nowadays can't ). She went out of her way to please me. I really think she pleased me like very little amoutn of woman in my life. Looking after her dress code, stockings and overall presentation she definitely cought my having hard time to remove my eyes from her. We had a lot of fun, lots of squirting and lot of good foreplay. Great intense and passionate sex. One of the best on here. So guys don't forget she's stil a woman and deserve to be treated with maximum respect. Very high quality See you soon X

*ust for funabc (31), Man on 22 March 2024 by Meeting in person:
met Louise no messing about a few messages and I find her on a bench playing with herself we went into the woods and carried on the naughty fun ; ) if you get the chance to meet this sexy lady don't mess her about thanks for making my day month year haha x

*omsubcouple1996 (27), Couple on 5 November 2023 by Meeting in person:
Well what can I say about this absolute stunner. This was my first hotwife meet without Mr A and it did not disappoint. I met Louise and another gorgeous woman for a very hot threesome and we had a lot of fun. Louise has the most unreal figure and her pussy is delicious. She knew exactly how to make my legs shake and her tongue left me dripping. Thank you for making this experience so amazing and I can’t wait to meet you again soon. Mrs A xx

*defun (50), Man on 29 September 2023 by Meeting in person:
Met this super sexy women at chams, apart from being gorgeous looking with a near as possible perfect body (private joke sorry) and mind blowing oral skills. She is so down to earth doesn’t actually realise how stunning she is with a lovely personality and a smile that just makes you melt. A truly wonderful afternoon thank you so much hopefully we can meet again sometime so I can be your bodyguard again. Gents if you get the chance to meet up with her, you will definitely will not be disappointed. Thanks L xxx

*arel (46), Man on 12 September 2023 by Webcam:
When you see pics and random videos it’s hard to get a feel of how someone is. Well after just seeing Louise on cam I can say she’s really down to earth, beautiful and sexy. She has such a good vibe about her. Thanks for the lunch time cam show. You’re gorgeous. Take care and chat soon.xx

*reenEyesJessica (37), Couple on 14 August 2023 by Meeting in person:
Wow what a night with Louise and her fella. Louise is absolutely gorgeous, even more stunning than in her pictures but not only that so chilled and friendly too. . We had a night of giggles, funny stories and when the naughty fun started she blew both our minds. Some very naughty firsts for us which we are still talking about and can’t wait to meet up again soon to push some more boundaries. Big kisses S and J xx

*BC 1 (44), Man on 30 July 2023 by Meeting in person:
Met this sexy lady at Chameleons. She's absolutely gorgeous. Firm, fit body, juicy pussy great tits and fucks like a porn star. Her pics don't lie. She's very attractive with eyes you could get lost in. I couldn't get enough of her. And I think she knew it too :-) So much so, that when I was invited back to her home the next night, I eagerly accepted. Hubby is a great guy who really made me feel welcome. Make sure that you have plenty of energy because you'll certainly need it. Definitely not to be missed. You will not be dissapointed X

*exypair21 (39), Couple on 15 May 2023 by Meeting in person:
How do we start? We was lucky enough to meet this gorgeous blonde bombshell for spontaneous and deliciously mind-blowing naughty night fun. Louise is stunning, with an amazing figure and a lovely smile. What a bundle of sexy fun and a lovely person too. We can see from her profile pics that this lady is hot but we been lucky enough to meet her in person, we can tell you that she is SUPER SUPER HOT!! A world class sexy stunner!! We had an amazing time which we will never forget and we really hope we can meet again soon Xxx

*xxLandNxxx (41), Couple on 5 May 2023 by Meeting in person:
Wonderful afternoon spent with this amazing lady. Very easy going and lots of fun hope to keep in touch and see you again soon L and N x x x

*lackindulgence (51), Man on 4 April 2023 by Meeting in person:
This lady is the opposite of how I thought she would be. Although mouthwatering, She has manners, is respectful and has a lovely warm down to earth easygoing personality which makes all the more attractive!

*tockings and heels lover (36), Man on 10 February 2023 by Meeting in person:
So I think it's time I write a veri about the super beautiful Louise. Lou and I connected a few years ago and has always dressed to impress smells to impress and everything she does to impress. Last night was the pick of the bunch where I let myself in to find Lou on the stairs bent over wearing stockings and heels. I then poured oil over Lou's perfect ass and omg the view was to die for and the rest is history. Guys/girls if you get the chance to meet Louise do not waste it she is sexy but also a genuine nice person who won't take been messed around. Till next time. Thank you x

*assionandplay (42), Man on 5 September 2022 by Meeting in person:
Wow wow wow.... Louise has been on my radar for some time as being one of the hottest women on fab, I could not believe my luck when I got a message from her asking to meet! After talking we soon released we had a mutual kink for feet, she offered to meet and give me a foot job. 30 minutes later Louise true to her word turned up exactly on time, looking and smelling gorgeous, wearing beautiful stockings. wow she's better in the flesh! Amazing kisser, amazing tits, unbelievable pussy, she wanked my cock with her feet and finished by giving me an amazing blowjob, all the time we were filming it for her hubby. Hands down the best looking lady I've ever met on fab and hopefully we can meet often! Xxx

*ixen-X (50), Woman on 19 August 2022 by Meeting in person:
Words cannot begin to describe what an absolutely amazing sexy minx this one truly is and oh so very nawty too ... met a few times and our freindship was made ... a beautiful gorgeous woman who gives the best kisses ever I could never get enough....cant wait to see you again soon beautiful lots of love Vixen xxxx

*ing-vik-Ing (42), Couple on 22 July 2022 by Webcam:
Well we finally had the chance to speak to this gorgeous lady tonight via cam. It was an illuminating experience! What a treat! It’s put us in the mood for a road trip south of the wall to pay her a visit and keep to our promise of tearing her out of her dress ;-) Let’s be making plans! I&K xxxxx

*uietlyWorking (30), Man on 16 May 2022 by Meeting in person:
I met Lou on a number of occasions, each as fantastically sexy as the next! We gangbanged, we had a late night flurry and we teased her husband in the front room. She is so incredibly beautiful, knows exactly how to please a man and take all the dick you can give her. Play nice though, she does not suffer fools lightly!

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