FabSwingers.com > Forums > Wales > The loss of conversation after play
The loss of conversation after play
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Anyone else feel a little deflated when they have chatted to someone on here for awhile then once you have played the conversations slows down or completely comes to a stand still. You get to know them over the weeks and really enjoy chatting and enjoy their friendship . I struggle sometimes. It's like loosing a friend. Then you have to start all over again. Anyone else struggle with this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It sounds like you are meeting people who are either just after beating the challenge to actually get to play with you OP or you are meeting people who can't keep playing pace with you.....
People come and go in Life, unfortunately on Fab they tend to take that in a different context to normal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe they were just looking for a fuck and go? A one off?
If you're looking more for a regular or ongoing friendship type arrangement maybe tell them this from the start. Saves you meeting someone who is looking for something different to you  |
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"Anyone else feel a little deflated when they have chatted to someone on here for awhile then once you have played the conversations slows down or completely comes to a stand still. You get to know them over the weeks and really enjoy chatting and enjoy their friendship . I struggle sometimes. It's like loosing a friend. Then you have to start all over again. Anyone else struggle with this?"
This irks me too especially when they fill you full of "when's", "let's" and "we could's" before the meet. Bullshit doesn't have to be given to get into your knickers that's what we're here for at the end of the day in the grand scheme of things |
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By *rofMan
over a year ago
Around |
Happens all the time, but I have to say for every ten that ends or fizzles out there is at least one or two that you just click with and although the conversations fade you can always strike up a conversation with them afterwards.
Its the fuck and go mentality you need to avoid, there are people who think like you and want the same you just have to trawl through the crap |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When u speak for a while an u build up a friendship An u actually meet up An play time is great An u make future plans an they chat to u after but they put up meet An events on fab or a status looking to meet but when u ask them for a meet They make up all excuses and only ask u when they have run out of options....hahahaha
That's why my _rofile is hidden can't be dealing with bull shit anymore  |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
I personally try to be keep in touch with fabbers i've met and really clicked with. I don't mean chatting everyday but a chat every now and again to see how they're doing and how much fun they've recently been having. It makes catching up quite fun actually.
I think the social / friendship part with like minded people here is as important as the sex and i've made some great friends along my fab journey |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else feel a little deflated when they have chatted to someone on here for awhile then once you have played the conversations slows down or completely comes to a stand still. You get to know them over the weeks and really enjoy chatting and enjoy their friendship . I struggle sometimes. It's like loosing a friend. Then you have to start all over again. Anyone else struggle with this?
This irks me too especially when they fill you full of "when's", "let's" and "we could's" before the meet. Bullshit doesn't have to be given to get into your knickers that's what we're here for at the end of the day in the grand scheme of things "
(some) Men will tell you anything to empty their balls Snow. Sad but true  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It sounds like you are meeting people who are either just after beating the challenge to actually get to play with you OP or you are meeting people who can't keep playing pace with you.....
People come and go in Life, unfortunately on Fab they tend to take that in a different context to normal. "
Very true, I just get so use to chatting to them and it all changed after playing. Some I really enjoy chatting too as friends I think x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe they were just looking for a fuck and go? A one off?
If you're looking more for a regular or ongoing friendship type arrangement maybe tell them this from the start. Saves you meeting someone who is looking for something different to you "
It states in my _rofile in only after regular. It's ok though. O think I get into a habit and enjoy chatting then it slows and sometimes im at a loss and miss it x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Anyone else feel a little deflated when they have chatted to someone on here for awhile then once you have played the conversations slows down or completely comes to a stand still. You get to know them over the weeks and really enjoy chatting and enjoy their friendship . I struggle sometimes. It's like loosing a friend. Then you have to start all over again. Anyone else struggle with this?
This irks me too especially when they fill you full of "when's", "let's" and "we could's" before the meet. Bullshit doesn't have to be given to get into your knickers that's what we're here for at the end of the day in the grand scheme of things "
I agree, just be upfront. That way I won't get so involved in messages then xx |
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"Anyone else feel a little deflated when they have chatted to someone on here for awhile then once you have played the conversations slows down or completely comes to a stand still. You get to know them over the weeks and really enjoy chatting and enjoy their friendship . I struggle sometimes. It's like loosing a friend. Then you have to start all over again. Anyone else struggle with this?
This irks me too especially when they fill you full of "when's", "let's" and "we could's" before the meet. Bullshit doesn't have to be given to get into your knickers that's what we're here for at the end of the day in the grand scheme of things
(some) Men will tell you anything to empty their balls Snow. Sad but true "
It is MissP. I just don't see why they feel the need for it tho. |
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"Anyone else feel a little deflated when they have chatted to someone on here for awhile then once you have played the conversations slows down or completely comes to a stand still. You get to know them over the weeks and really enjoy chatting and enjoy their friendship . I struggle sometimes. It's like loosing a friend. Then you have to start all over again. Anyone else struggle with this?
This irks me too especially when they fill you full of "when's", "let's" and "we could's" before the meet. Bullshit doesn't have to be given to get into your knickers that's what we're here for at the end of the day in the grand scheme of things
I agree, just be upfront. That way I won't get so involved in messages then xx"
Exactly that xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Happens all the time, but I have to say for every ten that ends or fizzles out there is at least one or two that you just click with and although the conversations fade you can always strike up a conversation with them afterwards.
Its the fuck and go mentality you need to avoid, there are people who think like you and want the same you just have to trawl through the crap "
There are a few I hope are friends for many years to come. So I've definitely found so.e good people on here. I think for some after we've played they proberly don't know what else to talk about perhaps x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When u speak for a while an u build up a friendship An u actually meet up An play time is great An u make future plans an they chat to u after but they put up meet An events on fab or a status looking to meet but when u ask them for a meet They make up all excuses and only ask u when they have run out of options....hahahaha
That's why my _rofile is hidden can't be dealing with bull shit anymore "
I've come across this so often too when they come back to you after finding no other to play with  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Even worse when youve been talking for a while all going great then all stops before the meet! And for no reason! Had that a few times here "
I think for some the reality sets in they are going to play then nerves take over sadly and they cant go through with it and do not have the hesrt to let that person know . x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Keep it Simple people & believe nothing, true friends will find you X"
Thats very true, I tend to believe that with most sadly lol Im learning though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe they were just looking for a fuck and go? A one off?
If you're looking more for a regular or ongoing friendship type arrangement maybe tell them this from the start. Saves you meeting someone who is looking for something different to you
It states in my _rofile in only after regular. It's ok though. O think I get into a habit and enjoy chatting then it slows and sometimes im at a loss and miss it x"
(most) men don't read _rofiles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe they were just looking for a fuck and go? A one off?
If you're looking more for a regular or ongoing friendship type arrangement maybe tell them this from the start. Saves you meeting someone who is looking for something different to you
It states in my _rofile in only after regular. It's ok though. O think I get into a habit and enjoy chatting then it slows and sometimes im at a loss and miss it x"
They might be selling a regular meet as well but sometimes the click you feel during chat isn't there face to face. Then again most guys who say they're seeking regular are just seeking to offload in some way or other & they see that as a way in, no pun intended.
There are some very genuine guys here mind & lots of the women who post on these threads tend not to give them a chance really X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe they were just looking for a fuck and go? A one off?
If you're looking more for a regular or ongoing friendship type arrangement maybe tell them this from the start. Saves you meeting someone who is looking for something different to you
It states in my _rofile in only after regular. It's ok though. O think I get into a habit and enjoy chatting then it slows and sometimes im at a loss and miss it x
They might be selling a regular meet as well but sometimes the click you feel during chat isn't there face to face. Then again most guys who say they're seeking regular are just seeking to offload in some way or other & they see that as a way in, no pun intended.
There are some very genuine guys here mind & lots of the women who post on these threads tend not to give them a chance really X"
That's true, ive chatted then had coffee and didn't feel a connection. Sadly I've like a few and they are the ones I miss. You really get to know them over the weeks. I just get to comfortable I think and struggle starting over again.
There are some lovely men on here I know don't get that chance. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe they were just looking for a fuck and go? A one off?
If you're looking more for a regular or ongoing friendship type arrangement maybe tell them this from the start. Saves you meeting someone who is looking for something different to you
It states in my _rofile in only after regular. It's ok though. O think I get into a habit and enjoy chatting then it slows and sometimes im at a loss and miss it x
(most) men don't read _rofiles"
Someone messaged me earlier asking me loads and question, I said read my _rofile. His reply was he couldn't be bothered so I replied with neither could I then to his questions. I don't think I'd ever message without reading about someone first x |
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Personally I am a true believer in getting a connection not just a jump n run situation,,,,not all here are honest about what really looking for but hey we all find what we're looking for with time n effort here for sure---keep on your own path and it will always lead you where you wish to end up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I am a true believer in getting a connection not just a jump n run situation,,,,not all here are honest about what really looking for but hey we all find what we're looking for with time n effort here for sure---keep on your own path and it will always lead you where you wish to end up "
With some I thought there was a connection. It's after play when things change sadly. Im a chatter, I love conversation and I get use to it then it stops. That's the bit I struggle with. It's a habit I need to break I think. I only chat to a small amount of people but with some I click more then others. Well on my side anyway x |
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"Personally I am a true believer in getting a connection not just a jump n run situation,,,,not all here are honest about what really looking for but hey we all find what we're looking for with time n effort here for sure---keep on your own path and it will always lead you where you wish to end up
With some I thought there was a connection. It's after play when things change sadly. Im a chatter, I love conversation and I get use to it then it stops. That's the bit I struggle with. It's a habit I need to break I think. I only chat to a small amount of people but with some I click more then others. Well on my side anyway x"
They're loss I guess Hun,,,forget em and keep on trying I suppose is the answer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Block, delete n move on, you're doing yourself no favours giving them head space tbh. I know it's easy to write but it is really the only way to move on X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just thought--I shouldn't be able to msg on your forum thingy anyway lol good to say hi--keep safe n enjoy chick x "
Hi back Mr Jay . Yes anyone can comment on the forums xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Block, delete n move on, you're doing yourself no favours giving them head space tbh. I know it's easy to write but it is really the only way to move on X"
Your absolutely right, they don't deserve my headspace. Thankyou, hope to say hello to you at a social one day. My friends speak highly of you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else feel a little deflated when they have chatted to someone on here for awhile then once you have played the conversations slows down or completely comes to a stand still. You get to know them over the weeks and really enjoy chatting and enjoy their friendship . I struggle sometimes. It's like loosing a friend. Then you have to start all over again. Anyone else struggle with this?"
This happened to me recently. It actually made me feel really self conscious. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Anyone else feel a little deflated when they have chatted to someone on here for awhile then once you have played the conversations slows down or completely comes to a stand still. You get to know them over the weeks and really enjoy chatting and enjoy their friendship . I struggle sometimes. It's like loosing a friend. Then you have to start all over again. Anyone else struggle with this?
This happened to me recently. It actually made me feel really self conscious."
Sorry to hear that but please don't feel self conscious, like I've been told it's their loss and better we learn early on what they are like. Hugs to you. Xxx |
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"Block, delete n move on, you're doing yourself no favours giving them head space tbh. I know it's easy to write but it is really the only way to move on X
Your absolutely right, they don't deserve my headspace. Thankyou, hope to say hello to you at a social one day. My friends speak highly of you xx"
I doubt that Hun lol as you know the socials are not my scene at all---we will pass eachother one day for sure--tho I may not see ya--keep safe midge lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Block, delete n move on, you're doing yourself no favours giving them head space tbh. I know it's easy to write but it is really the only way to move on X
Your absolutely right, they don't deserve my headspace. Thankyou, hope to say hello to you at a social one day. My friends speak highly of you xx"
OMG that always makes me twitch lol, I tend to be like marmite so I'm never sure if that's a tongue in cheek comment. I'm sure we'll meet along the way if we have friends in common X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Block, delete n move on, you're doing yourself no favours giving them head space tbh. I know it's easy to write but it is really the only way to move on X
Your absolutely right, they don't deserve my headspace. Thankyou, hope to say hello to you at a social one day. My friends speak highly of you xx
OMG that always makes me twitch lol, I tend to be like marmite so I'm never sure if that's a tongue in cheek comment. I'm sure we'll meet along the way if we have friends in common X"
It's all lovely comments I promise xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Block, delete n move on, you're doing yourself no favours giving them head space tbh. I know it's easy to write but it is really the only way to move on X
Your absolutely right, they don't deserve my headspace. Thankyou, hope to say hello to you at a social one day. My friends speak highly of you xx
I doubt that Hun lol as you know the socials are not my scene at all---we will pass eachother one day for sure--tho I may not see ya--keep safe midge lol "
Midge lol im nearly as tall as you Mr Jay lol  |
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"Block, delete n move on, you're doing yourself no favours giving them head space tbh. I know it's easy to write but it is really the only way to move on X
Your absolutely right, they don't deserve my headspace. Thankyou, hope to say hello to you at a social one day. My friends speak highly of you xx
I doubt that Hun lol as you know the socials are not my scene at all---we will pass eachother one day for sure--tho I may not see ya--keep safe midge lol
Midge lol im nearly as tall as you Mr Jay lol "
Nope---your that shirt you hit your ass walking upstairs pms |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Block, delete n move on, you're doing yourself no favours giving them head space tbh. I know it's easy to write but it is really the only way to move on X
Your absolutely right, they don't deserve my headspace. Thankyou, hope to say hello to you at a social one day. My friends speak highly of you xx
I doubt that Hun lol as you know the socials are not my scene at all---we will pass eachother one day for sure--tho I may not see ya--keep safe midge lol
Midge lol im nearly as tall as you Mr Jay lol
Nope---your that shirt you hit your ass walking upstairs pms "
Cheeky sod and cruising for a bruising lol |
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"Block, delete n move on, you're doing yourself no favours giving them head space tbh. I know it's easy to write but it is really the only way to move on X
Your absolutely right, they don't deserve my headspace. Thankyou, hope to say hello to you at a social one day. My friends speak highly of you xx
I doubt that Hun lol as you know the socials are not my scene at all---we will pass eachother one day for sure--tho I may not see ya--keep safe midge lol
Midge lol im nearly as tall as you Mr Jay lol
Nope---your that shirt you hit your ass walking upstairs pms
Cheeky sod and cruising for a bruising lol "
Yawwwwwwwwwwwn!!!!!!!!lmao |
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"Personally I am a true believer in getting a connection not just a jump n run situation,,,,not all here are honest about what really looking for but hey we all find what we're looking for with time n effort here for sure---keep on your own path and it will always lead you where you wish to end up
With some I thought there was a connection. It's after play when things change sadly. Im a chatter, I love conversation and I get use to it then it stops. That's the bit I struggle with. It's a habit I need to break I think. I only chat to a small amount of people but with some I click more then others. Well on my side anyway x"
I think it goes to show that the best sex has intimacy and at least some kind of connection. It's always a bit demeaning to find that people we thought we had a connection with just see us as a plaything not a person. I've had couples round who are extremely social beforehand but immediately leave as soon the woman has come once. I'm left wondering why not round 2, and yes, conversation that shows you're not just a service. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I am a true believer in getting a connection not just a jump n run situation,,,,not all here are honest about what really looking for but hey we all find what we're looking for with time n effort here for sure---keep on your own path and it will always lead you where you wish to end up
With some I thought there was a connection. It's after play when things change sadly. Im a chatter, I love conversation and I get use to it then it stops. That's the bit I struggle with. It's a habit I need to break I think. I only chat to a small amount of people but with some I click more then others. Well on my side anyway x
I think it goes to show that the best sex has intimacy and at least some kind of connection. It's always a bit demeaning to find that people we thought we had a connection with just see us as a plaything not a person. I've had couples round who are extremely social beforehand but immediately leave as soon the woman has come once. I'm left wondering why not round 2, and yes, conversation that shows you're not just a service."
I know what you mean
I've been think and come to the conclusion that because I only play bdsm I find that I get very deep into conversation with the person in playing with. So a sort of connection is established. At least that's what I think it is. It's extremely hard for me to play bdsm with anyone if I've not connected in messages prior to play. Then that connection vanishes and thats the loss I feel. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Loss of anything valued is not pleasant. OP your posts here sound quite sad and low, and whilst I have nothing to offer you in terms of what you want from Fab, I can still wish you well and hope that you find more positive experiences in the future  . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't even contemplate the kind of play I enjoy most (bdsm) unless it's with someone I've met several times. I'm lucky that I've time I've discovered friends who can meet other sexual needs in me & might even introduce me to new ones X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Loss of anything valued is not pleasant. OP your posts here sound quite sad and low, and whilst I have nothing to offer you in terms of what you want from Fab, I can still wish you well and hope that you find more positive experiences in the future . "
Thankyou, im just too much of a softy and always care about the people I play with. I need a heart of steel lol and stop blooming chatting so much to future plsy partners. Go over bdsm the day before only lol x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't even contemplate the kind of play I enjoy most (bdsm) unless it's with someone I've met several times. I'm lucky that I've time I've discovered friends who can meet other sexual needs in me & might even introduce me to new ones X"
I've got one or 2 regular partners now so that's good. They know me and my likes and dislikes.
Again im just a chatter box I think. Im a typical women lol |
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BDSM does rely on a bond, connection, trust, call it what you will and those things are built up through conversation. The abrupt severing of it is bound to feel like a slap in the face. Maaaybe it would be different if your play partners were encouraged to talk more themselves. They might feel more invested if they felt your meetings were places they could talk and think? Am sure you've already tried, of course. |
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