FabSwingers.com > Forums > Wales > Rogues Gallery
Rogues Gallery
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This is one for the lads.
Its an exclusive mens club, for rogues, simples!!
Chuck your moniker down, and give one example of rogue-ish behaviour, and if the selection panel like it, you're in!!
My own claim to rogue-ishness is that I once rode a trial bike over a cop car, whilst there were two coppers in it!
Just one thing... this is for the guys, so no ladies, no matter how butch you are !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well being a man of the cloth as I am obviously I've never done nuffing wrong except for possibly once, sit down, pull up a chair this may take a while
I worked with this bloke once, nice enough bloke but realy greedy, wanted anything for free, any free food and the fecker would be there, there was always free food left on the canteen counter on a night shift, left over from days, but still edible, the fecker was always first to it. On one occasion I had to have a lift into work, my lift arrived early, while i was still having sex, I whipped it away quickly, and went to work. Because I arrived early the free food was still there, so my mate said to me go on eat it before he gets it, I said nah i got a better idea, so I whipped out me cock and stuck it firmly in the 3 pies that were on the counter I then just calmly walked away and washed me willy. It wasnt untill about an hour later that this guy told me that the canteen people had left him three pies and he ad realy enjoyed them, offcourse I said noting, the bloke that gave me the lift had to run to the toilet cos he was wetting himself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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in a boozer not far from here a local "turn" was telling me how he can entertain for hours on his trusty acoustic."may I try a tune?" I asked.
after "american pie"(always a banker) a deftly bit o' detuning left the faithful instrument unplayable,whilst yours truely went on to play most of that night with another,more reliable(untampered) guitar  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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played "stuck in the middle" (stealers wheel) while getting a double bj at a party recently,didn't miss a chord,singing went up an octave though,lol.thank you ladies.(you know who you are) |
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After having a bellyfull of a particularly bad manager, i decided to get my revenge. With a friend keeping watch i topped off the managers personal kettle with some water of my own. After he had made a cup of tea from the kettle he was heard to complain that the milk was off. Once word had spread, he had d*unk postie piss, I didnt buy a pint all weekend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when i ws 12 me an m8s stole some donkeys from park an housed in lockup garage took to other park an charged fr donkey rides 1 donkey got ill i got short straw took to rspca where it shat all over waiting room floor. Unbeknown to me while waiting rspca was aware of the theft as reported in local paper so she called police while i was waiting with the donkey i got juve court an scrubs..donkeys sound an retired to spain ..16 years old bought kilos of legal hash fr 4 pounds an oz an sold gram fr a tenner to students in nightclubs and 45 an oz students were so pissed neva cottoned on wot they were smokin was always snide was a nice lil earner even after we paid the doormen of lol ..18 stealing an cashing chips at casino an so on an so on lol |
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"when i ws 12 me an m8s stole some donkeys from park an housed in lockup garage took to other park an charged fr donkey rides 1 donkey got ill i got short straw took to rspca where it shat all over waiting room floor. Unbeknown to me while waiting rspca was aware of the theft as reported in local paper so she called police while i was waiting with the donkey i got juve court an scrubs..donkeys sound an retired to spain ..16 years old bought kilos of legal hash fr 4 pounds an oz an sold gram fr a tenner to students in nightclubs and 45 an oz students were so pissed neva cottoned on wot they were smokin was always snide was a nice lil earner even after we paid the doormen of lol ..18 stealing an cashing chips at casino an so on an so on lol "
WHOA!!! I said rouge-ish, not illegal!!!! |
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"After having a bellyfull of a particularly bad manager, i decided to get my revenge. With a friend keeping watch i topped off the managers personal kettle with some water of my own. After he had made a cup of tea from the kettle he was heard to complain that the milk was off. Once word had spread, he had d*unk postie piss, I didnt buy a pint all weekend."
Salty tea? You're in dude!!
Erm.... just dont go making any cups of tea! |
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It's just been pointed out that riding a motorbike over a police car would be illegal too.... fair point, but.....
..it was their fault, I was just innocently riding (maybe a smidge too fast) my bike down a wet dirt track when they appeared, and I avoided a nasty accident by erm.... using a junked beetle to gain enough air to cross their bonnet and roof. I mean, what were they doing there anyway.... they were gonna get the car stuck if they went any further, so really I did them a favour!! |
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And..... its not like I did a big fat donut on the dance floor of a local village hall in the middle of a dance.... and then exited via the kitchen, and if anyone says any different, I'll deny it!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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whilst staying at the hotel that we had had our wedding reception at i found the english under 21 rugby team were stayin there. after enjoying a night on lash with friends and family me and my new bride walked up to our marital suite, only to find a large water barell labeled ENGLAND U21 SQUAD WATER. this seemed far too easy. so with a bladder full i took to using this as an impropyue lavvy. lol. the ohhhhh so satisfying part was to see the same barell being loaded onto the squad bus after one or two players had a good slurp.whoooop whooooop |
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Whilst in the Air Training corps at a Summer Camp as a kid, I put black boot polish over all the toilet seats in the block along with cling film over the toilet bowls, (everyone either got splash-back or black bums) ink in all the shower heads (highly amusing to me but not so much to everyone else), lost my temper and floored an RAF Flight Lieutenant whilst being inspected on parade when he forcibly removed an item of jewellery from me that had sentimental value and funnily enough got demoted from Corporal back to Probationer! Oops!
Not illegal, does it count as roguish enough?! |
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"whilst staying at the hotel that we had had our wedding reception at i found the english under 21 rugby team were stayin there. after enjoying a night on lash with friends and family me and my new bride walked up to our marital suite, only to find a large water barell labeled ENGLAND U21 SQUAD WATER. this seemed far too easy. so with a bladder full i took to using this as an impropyue lavvy. lol. the ohhhhh so satisfying part was to see the same barell being loaded onto the squad bus after one or two players had a good slurp.whoooop whooooop"
You bad boy.... in for definate lol |
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"Whilst in the Air Training corps at a Summer Camp as a kid, I put black boot polish over all the toilet seats in the block along with cling film over the toilet bowls, (everyone either got splash-back or black bums) ink in all the shower heads (highly amusing to me but not so much to everyone else), lost my temper and floored an RAF Flight Lieutenant whilst being inspected on parade when he forcibly removed an item of jewellery from me that had sentimental value and funnily enough got demoted from Corporal back to Probationer! Oops!
Not illegal, does it count as roguish enough?!"
C minus, kiddies hi-jinks... must try harder !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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er right swales lol since when as it been legal to ride a trials bike over a police car lol ..i do applaud u fr that... bloke i use to know once chopped of the roof of a police car whilst the coppers were sat inside eating there dinner made it into a convertable fr em ..in order to be a rogue or commit roguish behaviour well forgive me if im wrong but rogue an illegal go hand in hand you dont see choirboys fr example commiting rogueish acts now do u lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to work in an office many years ago where the office manager (female) was a right twat. I used to get in office about 45 mins earlier than others due to buses. I used to spunk into her mug then wipe it out with a tissue leaving a thin film which would dry by the time she had her coffee. She never said a word and I'd sit there all smug watching her. I did it for about 2 years....perhaps I should have been upfront and said I wanted to shag her...things might have been different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"played "stuck in the middle" (stealers wheel) while getting a double bj at a party recently,didn't miss a chord,singing went up an octave though,lol.thank you ladies.(you know who you are)"
lol always gotta go that one better haven't you :P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my first year in comp was hell i was bullied all the time .one hot summers day i had a drink taken off me ... so i went and bought another and pissed in the bottle. sure enough the bullys came back and took the bottle off me and drank it All......... As i walked away i had the biggest smile ever. 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a student i was found by the Police, asleep and d*unk and in just my boxers having broken into a caravan on my road, because i was too tired to walk all the way home! I also penned a very well written complaining about said policeman once i was returned home (fortunately my housemate intercepted it, otherwise the policeman may well have changed his mind)- any good? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me and my ex were having fish and chips for lunch ln Norwich inside there were table and chairs was nice.
I needed to go for a number two if you get what i mean.
I asked were the toilet was and told had to go out go round back building and go in rear door.
When i went in i see the loo was in a hurry then and just got on and had number two was a release.
Then i looked round thought big toilet then i seen a second loo on other side room looked around and realised to late that this one had not been plumbed in it was new just standing there.
Did a runner asked my girlfriend to leave straight away was so inbarrising never went there agsin  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I lived over the border, we had a totally obnoxious neighbour who was built like a brick outhouse, and always had his equally big and equally obnoxious mate with him, causing nuisance to everybody else at every available opportunity, on what used to be a nice little development until he came to live there. Thought he was the doggy's nuts.They used to park wherever they liked in the shared parking area, and accumulated several project cars which they jammed the place up with. He wasn't too pleased to arrive back from holiday to find a couple of cubed cars stacked neatly in a corner. I will admit to keeping a cricket bat behind the door after that, as he went nuts and came banging on a few doors to find out who had done it, but I somehow managed to keep a straight face. Even when plod came asking questions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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wist being a good medic playing around camping in long valley aldershot fed some ass wipes some senocott well next morning all bottoms through the wooden seats in the cans ran along with bunches of nettles got the lot sorry any one from queens regiment still think your crap hats and medics always have the last laugh fire asses are best |
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By *izzly1Couple
over a year ago
here |
Managed to scare the f*** out of italian tourists many moons ago. Was a funeral director at the time and once we asked to go and bring a distinguished gentleman home from his house in switzerland.. only he would never fly and so in death we had to accommodate his wishes. So its dusk... three of us in a hearse.. driving down to Dover with two coffins.. one to sleep in for us taking it in turns.
Anyhow. Near Dover waiting for a ferry.. I awoke and asked to get out... at the moment they slid the coffin out to let me jump out.. a fricking coach slows down to park and sees a man in black jumping out a coffin... the coach nearly crashed and never seen so many people praying for deliverance from evil in such a short space of time!! Needless to say we left rather sharpish... customs did smirk as we went thru! |
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"As a student i was found by the Police, asleep and d*unk and in just my boxers having broken into a caravan on my road, because i was too tired to walk all the way home! I also penned a very well written complaining about said policeman once i was returned home (fortunately my housemate intercepted it, otherwise the policeman may well have changed his mind)- any good?"
Erm, think I'm looking for summat a little less "breaking and entering" lol.. Not in! |
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"Me and my ex were having fish and chips for lunch ln Norwich inside there were table and chairs was nice.
I needed to go for a number two if you get what i mean.
I asked were the toilet was and told had to go out go round back building and go in rear door.
When i went in i see the loo was in a hurry then and just got on and had number two was a release.
Then i looked round thought big toilet then i seen a second loo on other side room looked around and realised to late that this one had not been plumbed in it was new just standing there.
Did a runner asked my girlfriend to leave straight away was so inbarrising never went there agsin "
OMG! You're in... just make sure you check the "seats" are plumbed in before you...erm, unload, in the clubhouse ffs!  |
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"When I lived over the border, we had a totally obnoxious neighbour who was built like a brick outhouse, and always had his equally big and equally obnoxious mate with him, causing nuisance to everybody else at every available opportunity, on what used to be a nice little development until he came to live there. Thought he was the doggy's nuts.They used to park wherever they liked in the shared parking area, and accumulated several project cars which they jammed the place up with. He wasn't too pleased to arrive back from holiday to find a couple of cubed cars stacked neatly in a corner. I will admit to keeping a cricket bat behind the door after that, as he went nuts and came banging on a few doors to find out who had done it, but I somehow managed to keep a straight face. Even when plod came asking questions. "
In, nuisance neighbours are a real pain... you are our Public Relations guru lol!  |
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"wist being a good medic playing around camping in long valley aldershot fed some ass wipes some senocott well next morning all bottoms through the wooden seats in the cans ran along with bunches of nettles got the lot sorry any one from queens regiment still think your crap hats and medics always have the last laugh fire asses are best "
In... but you are banned from making tea lol! Seems we now have a club Medic too!  |
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"Managed to scare the f*** out of italian tourists many moons ago. Was a funeral director at the time and once we asked to go and bring a distinguished gentleman home from his house in switzerland.. only he would never fly and so in death we had to accommodate his wishes. So its dusk... three of us in a hearse.. driving down to Dover with two coffins.. one to sleep in for us taking it in turns.
Anyhow. Near Dover waiting for a ferry.. I awoke and asked to get out... at the moment they slid the coffin out to let me jump out.. a fricking coach slows down to park and sees a man in black jumping out a coffin... the coach nearly crashed and never seen so many people praying for deliverance from evil in such a short space of time!! Needless to say we left rather sharpish... customs did smirk as we went thru!"
In! You can answer the door to the "trick or treaters" for halloween lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was once so pissed of with a arsehole customer who would come into my shop most saturdays with the intentions only to act a cock thinking he was clever letting me and any customers know thats he has bought a product i sell cheaper elsewhere.... Well needless to say he no longer comes into my shop n no longer thinks hes clever since i took it upon myself to help his 18 yearold daugher loose her anal virginity ... Can i make it clear she was fully consenting n we both kept meeting for months after and i wasnt that nasty n make him aware what id done but to this day ive no idea why he stopped coming in my shop ???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This HAS to be one of the most enjoyable and funny posts in any forum for a long time now. Well done Mart this is great stuff and I am honoured to be the club "getaway" driver but with the size of the club I think we are going to need a 52 seater coach and to be honest they don't handle aswell as my Honda did Besides from whom will we be escaping ? Not the Non rouge element of Fab I hope as I think it would be a lot more fun to corrupt them rather than run from them ? |
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By *aydee65Man
over a year ago
Near Merthyr |
Living in between 2 small taxi firms I frequently came home from work to find one or other of the taxis parked outside my house forcing me to park as far away as the next street. Asking politely for them to move failed as did threats of physical violence. One day I had a lightbulb moment and hit the jackpot. The next day I came home to find the taxi outside my house so I phoned them and booked a taxi from a local pub. When they went to pick up the phantom fair I reclaimed my parking spot. This went on for about a week before the penny dropped. End of problem. Am I in..? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was in my 20s a neighbour used to park his car in the rear lane and block all access , so when I used to come home late from a night on the piss, I'd walk round the back open his fuel cap and piss in the tank, replace the cap and go home...
He was forever trying to cure the misfire, stupid prat never sussed out it only happened at weekends. |
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By *ager_jdCouple
over a year ago
bridgend |
Found out my girlfriend was cheating on me (now my ex) told her we were going to Scotland for a break - drove there said I was hungry she said she wanted the toilet dropped her off at McDonald's told her I'm going to the cash machine and then drove to my friends house leaving her in Glasgow - never heard from her again. |
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"Found out my girlfriend was cheating on me (now my ex) told her we were going to Scotland for a break - drove there said I was hungry she said she wanted the toilet dropped her off at McDonald's told her I'm going to the cash machine and then drove to my friends house leaving her in Glasgow - never heard from her again."
Holy cow!
Erm... kinda split on this one!
She almost deserved it.... but... Scotland?
Bit extreme maybe?
Ok, you are in.... but only if you can provide another example of (less extreme!) rougeish behaviour lol!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Found out my girlfriend was cheating on me (now my ex) told her we were going to Scotland for a break - drove there said I was hungry she said she wanted the toilet dropped her off at McDonald's told her I'm going to the cash machine and then drove to my friends house leaving her in Glasgow - never heard from her again.
Holy cow
Erm... kinda split on this one!
She almost deserved it.... but... Scotland?
Bit extreme maybe?
Ok, you are in.... but only if you can provide another example of (less extreme!) rougeish behaviour lol! "
DID YOU LEAVE SIME CLOTHES or her bag with her . I would have had a holiday anyways if i was her ! t.Q xx |
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By *ager_jdCouple
over a year ago
bridgend |
Ok how about this - I was a posh padbrat (Colonels son) and had a run in with a corporal on base in Germany instead of running to Dad I thought I would get him back by dating/sleeping with his daughter turned out well though we will be celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary in June |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok how about this - I was a posh padbrat (Colonels son) and had a run in with a corporal on base in Germany instead of running to Dad I thought I would get him back by dating/sleeping with his daughter turned out well though we will be celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary in June "
choked me this did!!! Love it!!! |
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I once put the banger part of a party popper into a cigarette and placed it back into the packet that belonged to a friend and just waited for the outcome. Took a while but about half way trough a night out it went off and left tobacco all over another friends face |
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"I once put the banger part of a party popper into a cigarette and placed it back into the packet that belonged to a friend and just waited for the outcome. Took a while but about half way trough a night out it went off and left tobacco all over another friends face "
Hi jinks is one thing, but that sounds a little too dangerous, you could have had someones eye out mun! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I once put the banger part of a party popper into a cigarette and placed it back into the packet that belonged to a friend and just waited for the outcome. Took a while but about half way trough a night out it went off and left tobacco all over another friends face
Hi jinks is one thing, but that sounds a little too dangerous, you could have had someones eye out mun! "
fuck I did stuff like that as a child ! Poppy xc hardly a rogue ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I once put the banger part of a party popper into a cigarette and placed it back into the packet that belonged to a friend and just waited for the outcome. Took a while but about half way trough a night out it went off and left tobacco all over another friends face
Hi jinks is one thing, but that sounds a little too dangerous, you could have had someones eye out mun! fuck I did stuff like that as a child !
Poppy xc hardly a rogue ! "
don't worry all you smokers out there I got it out of my system now lol xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pretended to be a bouncer in a night club.
Was so good at it I convinced 2 new bouncers at the club I was the boss and got them to throw the actual boss out the club. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I lived over the border, we had a totally obnoxious neighbour who was built like a brick outhouse, and always had his equally big and equally obnoxious mate with him, causing nuisance to everybody else at every available opportunity, on what used to be a nice little development until he came to live there. Thought he was the doggy's nuts.They used to park wherever they liked in the shared parking area, and accumulated several project cars which they jammed the place up with. He wasn't too pleased to arrive back from holiday to find a couple of cubed cars stacked neatly in a corner. I will admit to keeping a cricket bat behind the door after that, as he went nuts and came banging on a few doors to find out who had done it, but I somehow managed to keep a straight face. Even when plod came asking questions. "
Like Arnie said..."I'll be back"...and so here I am again |
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The company I work for employs contractors sometimes.
One guy is fairly regular, and although I don't see him that often, whenever |I do he seems to take great delight in blocking my vehicle in.
I've mentioned it a few times, and he gives me the keys to move it, so last time he did it, I popped across the road to a family butchers, bought same beef mince, and jammed about half a pound up underneath his dashboard.
Cue some lovely warm weather.... and the next time I saw him he was driving with the window open... not surprising as the smell was awful.
I'm sure he knows it was me, but the funny thing is he parks well away from my vehicle now lol! |
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"The company I work for employs contractors sometimes.
One guy is fairly regular, and although I don't see him that often, whenever |I do he seems to take great delight in blocking my vehicle in.
I've mentioned it a few times, and he gives me the keys to move it, so last time he did it, I popped across the road to a family butchers, bought same beef mince, and jammed about half a pound up underneath his dashboard.
Cue some lovely warm weather.... and the next time I saw him he was driving with the window open... not surprising as the smell was awful.
I'm sure he knows it was me, but the funny thing is he parks well away from my vehicle now lol! "
Not sure about beef but could also have used chicken breast. The stench is horrendous |
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Love this thread about time one for the boys, love these guys above brilliant,being the nice quiet boy i am And so many to choose from will sdd 2 short ones,
Once surf rode a van all the way down gloucester rd in Bristol where we r from origonaly
And in my clubbing days chatting to a gorgous girl sitting at a table and was taking the piss y she not dancing, Untill she obviously pointed to the wheels on her chair, yes a wheel chair,, after a long time oppoligising WE left to hers and had sex then she blew me out after a cpl of days, does that count ?? Lol |
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Just found this thread , loving it . Anyway here's my offering . Back when I was in secondary school , there was a guy in my class who took it upon himself to bully younger kids including my younger brother . He used to steal their chocolate bars his favourite being mars bars . To get him back I covered one in X-Lax (laxative chocolate) and gave it to my brother . Sure enough it was duly taken and eaten . About an hour later during maths there was a wet detonation from the direction of said bully combined with a stench that emptied the classroom . The trail he left was amazing in its length . Didn't stop him bullying but it was satisfying to see him humiliated |
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Ended up in a night club years ago with a mate and 150 aggressive squaddies all d*unk and pushy..bouncers advised us to watch our heads?
Pushed and jostled all night so decided to leave.
On leaving we found 5 army personnel carriers parked in the car park,we let as many of the tyres down as possible.
Took us half an hour...we then went back into the club as a 'fuck you' and sat there waiting.
At 1am the sergeant/blokes in charge blew a whistle which was time to load up and fuck off.
We laughed and waved them goodbye and grinned.
The ensuing chaos is still talked about...they were under curfew and 10miles from base.
Vehicles immobilised they were made to run back to barracks pissing,puking and sweating....not so tough after all and done over by 2 locals.
The local taxi service,there was only one did a roaring trade all night and we never had to pay for a taxi ourselves.
Even the bouncers were impressed as they barracked the club doors to stop them getting at us....hahahaha!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the end of our teenage years we always used to meet at this one girls house for new years as it was also around the time of her birthday. In fairness she was the prettiest girl in school and 0 years later is still gorgeous.
Anyway, one night one of the boys turned up on r his dads car, chucked his keys down and wandered off to chase this girl he fancied. A few of us waited until he was in another room then went outside. We found some bricks and working together managed to get car (Datsun sunny if any one cares) onto bricks.
Later that evening all pleased with himself our mate tries to give the lucky girl lift home to find his car won't move even if everything seems to work. The girl gets bored and comes back into the house and we meet on the pavement for a laugh.
Mike
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