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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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my niece emailed me this joke, it did make me smile :
The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law,
Paddy, in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.
What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously.
"What happened? I'll tell you what happened! I sent an email to my
wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home ...
and guess what I found? Your daughter, my wife, Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! It's unforgivable! This is the end of our marriage –
I'm done, I'm leaving forever!
"Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation.
I'll go and speak to her immediately and find out what happened. "
Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.
"Paddy - there, I told you there must be a simple explanation. She never got your email !"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Two d*unks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"
The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator.The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here-you can't bring that animal in here,they aren't allowed!" The man says,"But my gator here does a really cool trick".The bartender says "Well then,lets see!"So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth.He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it.
A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch.He looks around at the crowd and says,"Does anyone else want to try?"An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A LESSON IN GOVERNMENT
A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''
''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.
''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.
''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government!
The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A LESSON IN GOVERNMENT
A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''
''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.
''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.
''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government!
The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!'' "
That's a gem |
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