FabSwingers.com > Forums > Wales > How can we break the mould
How can we break the mould
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Got chatting to a nice guy last nite at Swansea social and as it
being his first social he didn't really know what to expect.
He did point out that people are sat in there own little groups and don't socialise.
Is there anything we can do to break this mould?
Does anybody else get this impression?
My advice to him was to go and introduce yourself but there are a lot of people who are uncomfortable with this.
Maybe like a speed dating system where everybody introduces themselves could be a good idea.
(Just a thought or 2)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Got chatting to a nice guy last nite at Swansea social and as it
being his first social he didn't really know what to expect.
He did point out that people are sat in there own little groups and don't socialise.
Is there anything we can do to break this mould?
Does anybody else get this impression?
My advice to him was to go and introduce yourself but there are a lot of people who are uncomfortable with this.
Maybe like a speed dating system where everybody introduces themselves could be a good idea.
(Just a thought or 2) "
Yea I kinda agree (its Lou) but we have only been to one but luckily enough we knew a great couple who kindly introduced us to some great people, also busty was so welcoming. Think we will be so much more confident next time.
First time is always scary x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's natural that people are going to sit with and talk to people they know and have met before, same as they would anywhere else. It is up to him to make the effort to socialise with people. We were all in a position at one time where we knew noone and had to make the effort to get to know people  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But is this not the same as just going out ??
Friends stick together in a pub or club, and its down to you to make conversation.
So why are so many moaning they find it clicky, when all they need to do is approach people and talk.
I understand some are nit good at this, but in the past, people at social events always talk, as you all have the added advantage of knowing what everyone else is there for.
My best advice to those who are attending these events are to make note of those posting on the forums that they are going, and keep an eye out for them.
why not message or post that your looking for someone to introduce you ?
There is always someone happy to help !
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I totally agree with you all there guys, we have all been in the same boat sometime and it's up to the individual to make the effort.
I think the more socials you go 2 the more confident you get. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is why I started the singles only social.
As what was said above we were all new once and there nothing more daunting than walking into a room where you know no body.
Your going to get it everywhere you go where people know each other and sit together.
I as a organiser insure that no one is sat on there own and the tables are all together, I also introduce everyone to everybody and then take the time to walk around speaking to every individual to make them feel welcome.
The last social brought in over 50 people and 35 males didn't turn up.
Even now after all the socials and events I've attended I myself get nervous.
I also keep a eye on any event im attending and will offer to meet that person who is new and show them around.people only have to ask
And remember you get out of a social what you put in...
You put nothing in by talking
You get nothing back |
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"Got chatting to a nice guy last nite at Swansea social and as it
being his first social he didn't really know what to expect.
He did point out that people are sat in there own little groups and don't socialise.
Is there anything we can do to break this mould?
Does anybody else get this impression?
My advice to him was to go and introduce yourself but there are a lot of people who are uncomfortable with this.
Maybe like a speed dating system where everybody introduces themselves could be a good idea.
(Just a thought or 2) "
All those other people who are sat in small groups chatting have one thing in common with that new guy....
...they are nervous too lol!
They surround themselves with those they already know, because it's less scary than going around the room meeting new people.
We try to get to know at least one new person at each social we go to , and after a while it becomes second nature. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fair play girl, you got it spot on then?"
Oh im not perfect but I so understand how it feels....
And I will do and continue to do help people out as much as I can when it comes to being new |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I flit from person to person. If I find someone attractive, I will go over and talk to them. I understand not everybody is as confident, especially newbies, but you get out what you put in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From our table we invited newbies to join us & one single guy did, it's something we always make an effort to do, sometimes people are happy to join a crowd & sometimes they politely decline because they prefer to sit alone & watch. It's each to their own & as Mart points out, some of us, especially me, are sat in our group or corner because we're also shitting ourselves. I've been to many socials over the years & I still rarely venture from my corner because I find crowds overwhelming x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's great to hear different opinions to be honest,I'm a wee shy myself believe it or not lol and I must admit I only usually speak to people that I know, but this thread has certainly given me the confidence to introduce myself to others  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Maybe like a speed dating system where everybody introduces themselves could be a good idea.
(Just a thought or 2) "
This is my worst nightmare. I'll admit that I'm a bit of a scaredy cat when it comes to new people. It was great at the singles social though. It was clear that some people knew each other but there weren't any closed groups so it was easy to join in the conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I thought a name badge was a good idea at first but let's not forget these socials are kept secret from the Venus. How do you explain to the bar staff who you are lmao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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but surely some friendly members were on hand to help introduce the newbies to other members sometimes ppl get so shy they sit say nothing and ppl think they standoffish, so maybe helpful members might do the trick maybe a small committee two fems two men just to introduce everyone xx worked well at other events |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm shy really hun I don't think so lol but thank u for my kiss last night mm mm x
Your just lucky that there were people about "
ohhhh really whyyyy? X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm shy really hun I don't think so lol but thank u for my kiss last night mm mm x
Your just lucky that there were people about ohhhh really whyyyy? X "
I'd have tipped your money box and watched you pick it all up
After paying in pennies lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm shy really hun I don't think so lol but thank u for my kiss last night mm mm x
Your just lucky that there were people about ohhhh really whyyyy? X
I'd have tipped your money box and watched you pick it all up
After paying in pennies lol "
ohhhhh u u u u naughty naughty man lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm shy really hun I don't think so lol but thank u for my kiss last night mm mm x
Your just lucky that there were people about ohhhh really whyyyy? X
I'd have tipped your money box and watched you pick it all up
After paying in pennies lol ohhhhh u u u u naughty naughty man lol xx"
You were the one with your hand in your box and taking your time while knowing that I was watching you lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm shy really hun I don't think so lol but thank u for my kiss last night mm mm x
Your just lucky that there were people about ohhhh really whyyyy? X
I'd have tipped your money box and watched you pick it all up
After paying in pennies lol ohhhhh u u u u naughty naughty man lol xx
You were the one with your hand in your box and taking your time while knowing that I was watching you lol "
I didn't realise u were watching me till I looked up . Did u have a nice good look and view ?x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm shy really hun I don't think so lol but thank u for my kiss last night mm mm x
Your just lucky that there were people about ohhhh really whyyyy? X
I'd have tipped your money box and watched you pick it all up
After paying in pennies lol ohhhhh u u u u naughty naughty man lol xx
You were the one with your hand in your box and taking your time while knowing that I was watching you lol I didn't realise u were watching me till I looked up . Did u have a nice good look and view ?x"
Haha yes thanks made my night x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Got chatting to a nice guy last nite at Swansea social and as it
being his first social he didn't really know what to expect.
He did point out that people are sat in there own little groups and don't socialise.
Is there anything we can do to break this mould?
Does anybody else get this impression?
My advice to him was to go and introduce yourself but there are a lot of people who are uncomfortable with this.
Maybe like a speed dating system where everybody introduces themselves could be a good idea.
(Just a thought or 2) "
Our Very first social we felt exactly the same. We thought it was very clique and no one made you feel very welcome. It didn't put us off the 2nd one I toria attended on my own and was looked after all night by one of the guys on here. He took me around introduced me to a lot of people and then the next social and everyone after that has been great. But yes I think we should all make more of an effort on tines because socials can be very anti social and off putting for a lot of new people xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Got chatting to a nice guy last nite at Swansea social and as it
being his first social he didn't really know what to expect.
He did point out that people are sat in there own little groups and don't socialise.
Is there anything we can do to break this mould?
Does anybody else get this impression?
My advice to him was to go and introduce yourself but there are a lot of people who are uncomfortable with this.
Maybe like a speed dating system where everybody introduces themselves could be a good idea.
(Just a thought or 2)
Our Very first social we felt exactly the same. We thought it was very clique and no one made you feel very welcome. It didn't put us off the 2nd one I toria attended on my own and was looked after all night by one of the guys on here. He took me around introduced me to a lot of people and then the next social and everyone after that has been great. But yes I think we should all make more of an effort on tines because socials can be very anti social and off putting for a lot of new people xxx"
I allways make newbiesss welcome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Got chatting to a nice guy last nite at Swansea social and as it
being his first social he didn't really know what to expect.
He did point out that people are sat in there own little groups and don't socialise.
Is there anything we can do to break this mould?
Does anybody else get this impression?
My advice to him was to go and introduce yourself but there are a lot of people who are uncomfortable with this.
Maybe like a speed dating system where everybody introduces themselves could be a good idea.
(Just a thought or 2) "
just because we are swingers it doesn't mean we are not normal peopel with normal behaviours.
IF for instance you walked into a social club/rugby club most of the people will be in groups with thier friends.its up to you to introduce yourselves. but if the committeee /organisers are doing thier job they will take you around and introduce you
i did when i was a committee man in a rugby club. it all helped in making them comfortable and want to come again . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Several of us single males, present on Sat were talking about our presence at the social.
If you go with the idea that you are going to have sex that night, I think you could be disappointed. It is a good way to meet and chat.
In a way the smaller, meets that I have started to organise are better but having said that some people would feel a bit shy in that setting.
It is far from easy going up to a complete stranger and start chatting in any circumstance..
I am going to get cards made with my contact details and I will hand those out. You never know some desperate soul might reply!!
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