FabSwingers.com > Forums > Wales > Dear Deidre....
Dear Deidre....
Jump to: Newest in thread
Someone wanted a forum agony aunt... so I guess as I'm a caring kinda guy (stop laffin', twats!) I thought I'd have a crack, I mean, it's just holding hands and kissing ass, right?
So, spill your guts, share, let me know your problems and I'll solve them.... I mean, what could go wrong?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Im on the change. Any advice ?  "
Dear "Dry minge and hot flushes" of Cardiff...
Well, your sex life is over, so you might as well throw in the towel and buy a cardi and slippers... but it's not all bad news, the local old folks home will benefit from all the scarves you'll knit (you'll need a hobby)... and the local cats home will be able to offload a few to keep you company.
Remember to trade in your used sex toys, you have no use for them now... I suggest getting a zimmer frame ready for when your legs start to give out.
Good luck!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Im on the change. Any advice ?
Dear "Dry minge and hot flushes" of Cardiff...
Well, your sex life is over, so you might as well throw in the towel and buy a cardi and slippers... but it's not all bad news, the local old folks home will benefit from all the scarves you'll knit (you'll need a hobby)... and the local cats home will be able to offload a few to keep you company.
Remember to trade in your used sex toys, you have no use for them now... I suggest getting a zimmer frame ready for when your legs start to give out.
Good luck!
"
I got fecking teats rolling down my face hahaha.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think I might be over vetted how do I get cured  "
Dear "No hair below" I'm assuming thats a typo and you meant "over veated"?
Dont worry, this is a simple fix, just slap some Rogain in there to counter-act the hair removal, if you cant find Rogain, just drink lots of Guinness... just remember to shave your chest! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I have pmt...does that mean I can commit murder and get away with it? "
Dear "Ice pick" of Newport...
Its a proven medical fact that PMT is just a wimmens excuse to be a bitch one week out of four, so no, you cant kill just cos you got it!
Stick band-aid on the bleed, and take a chill pill!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've got big boobs and too much attention. How do I make it go away?
Dear "holy shit, look at those!"...
Erm.... sorry, what was the question again... I was distracted? "
Hahahaha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I need cock 24/7 helllllppppp "
Dear "I've been looking at Mart's pics"...
It's normal to get horned on after looking at certain guys pics, I wish I could say it will pass, but unfortunately the only cure is to find the bloke, and shag his brains out! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've not had an orgasm in weeks. Will it be a flood risk when I finally let it go??"
Dear "gagging for it"....
If you can't bring yourself off, how do you expect a guy to do it?
Practice, practice, and I advise you to alert the Fire Brigade, and have them on standby to pump you out when you finally do figure out how to do it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have pmt...does that mean I can commit murder and get away with it?
Dear "Ice pick" of Newport...
Its a proven medical fact that PMT is just a wimmens excuse to be a bitch one week out of four, so no, you cant kill just cos you got it!
Stick band-aid on the bleed, and take a chill pill! "
Will a galaxy bar cure it??? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I need cock 24/7 helllllppppp
Dear "I've been looking at Mart's pics"...
It's normal to get horned on after looking at certain guys pics, I wish I could say it will pass, but unfortunately the only cure is to find the bloke, and shag his brains out! "
I'm on it lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i have a new problem
i think im too sexy for my shirt
im so sexy it hurts...
i think i might be suffering from
rightsaidfreditus
either that or im a cunt |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is it time to dip our toes back in after hsvi g a break? "
Dear "Constant shaggers"...
You had a break.... where?
Seriously, having a breather between sex sessions does not constitute a break... neither does sleeping!
I'm surprised you took time out long enough to write to me... last time I saw a veri list like that, I was looking at our profile ffs!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it time to dip our toes back in after hsvi g a break?
Dear "Constant shaggers"...
You had a break.... where?
Seriously, having a breather between sex sessions does not constitute a break... neither does sleeping!
I'm surprised you took time out long enough to write to me... last time I saw a veri list like that, I was looking at our profile ffs! "
I have been an angel |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Im on the change. Any advice ?
Dear "Dry minge and hot flushes" of Cardiff...
Well, your sex life is over, so you might as well throw in the towel and buy a cardi and slippers... but it's not all bad news, the local old folks home will benefit from all the scarves you'll knit (you'll need a hobby)... and the local cats home will be able to offload a few to keep you company.
Remember to trade in your used sex toys, you have no use for them now... I suggest getting a zimmer frame ready for when your legs start to give out.
Good luck!
I got fecking teats rolling down my face hahaha. "
Lol - your typos are amazing Gigs!!
Who's teats are rolling down your face - you're meant to suck them honey!!
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear diedre
I have an itch right by the crack of my arse.
1 ..... What u think it is
2 ..... Am I gonna die
3...... Any chance of sending a sexy nurse around to cure me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear Deirdre...
I'd appreciate you not telling people I need to shave my chest, that's between us, tut and I thought you were professional... My original problem was I think I need help, how do I cure myself of being perverted, please refrain from divulging too much of my personal information in such a public way    "
Dear "handmaiden of Maquis de Sade"...
How perverted are you, are we talking just feathers... or the whole chicken?
Erm.... actually, skip that, I dont think I want to know!
Being a pervert is not something you should worry too much about... unless you start trying to do "nookie the bear" with your playmates. Relax, and go with the flow (and no, that wasnt an invite to start trying watersports) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear diedre
I have an itch right by the crack of my arse.
1 ..... What u think it is
2 ..... Am I gonna die
3...... Any chance of sending a sexy nurse around to cure me "
Dear "farmer Giles" ...
I've told you before about scratching your bum after chopping chillies!
It could be worms... a sure cure is to pour half a gallon of petrol into an enema bag and stick it where the sun dont shine.... and then stick a match up there!
Call me when you land.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My assignment on the immunosuppressive effects of stress has stressed me out and now I have a cold - should I say so in the paper??? Do you think stress hinders our ability to fight colds??? Can you cure my cold??? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My assignment on the immunosuppressive effects of stress has stressed me out and now I have a cold - should I say so in the paper??? Do you think stress hinders our ability to fight colds??? Can you cure my cold???"
Dear "Coffee addict" of Swansea...
Chill mun, just reading that has given me a stress headache ffs!
Do you know sex is a good cure for stress?
To answer your questions...
1/No
2/Yes
3/Yes
You know the old saying "A problem shared is a problem halved"... we get together, bump uglies, you give me half your cold, and as half a cold is ineffective... viola, you are cured!
I know, I know, I'm a genius, no need to thank me! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear Deirdre,
I came home from work last week after working a fifteen hour shift. As I walked in the front door I heard noises coming from upstairs. I slowly opened the bedroom door and seen my wife in bed with another woman. They were both naked and my wife was tied up with a sexual device inserted into her private area.
My question is, will I get paid for the extra three hours I worked, or do you think i should book it as flexi-time?
Dragonsauce xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear Deirdre,
I came home from work last week after working a fifteen hour shift. As I walked in the front door I heard noises coming from upstairs. I slowly opened the bedroom door and seen my wife in bed with another woman. They were both naked and my wife was tied up with a sexual device inserted into her private area.
My question is, will I get paid for the extra three hours I worked, or do you think i should book it as flexi-time?
Dragonsauce xxx"
Dear "Not getting any cos the wife is a lezza"...
Well, I'd go for getting it as overtime, cos thats more money now, and in your pension too see.
Although, flexi-time is an option, then you could use it to get home three hours earlier and tie both of them up and have your wicked way with them.
There is a third option, do more overtime, but send me your address and I'll take the wife round to help me sort both of them out!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear oh dear god what you going to reply now
What is the best way to make a woman squirt "
Dear "Frustrated Fireman Sam"...
Well, it's an unusual request, but after some research, I can say that the best way is to feed her lots of porridge... and then give her a dodgy week old egg sandwich... trust me, within a couple of hours she will be sat on the loo squirting like a good 'un! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear oh dear god what you going to reply now
What is the best way to make a woman squirt
Dear "Frustrated Fireman Sam"...
Well, it's an unusual request, but after some research, I can say that the best way is to feed her lots of porridge... and then give her a dodgy week old egg sandwich... trust me, within a couple of hours she will be sat on the loo squirting like a good 'un! "
thanks for the advice will give it a try |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've got big boobs and too much attention. How do I make it go away?
Give me ur boobs
Can I have some of your bum please? "
I'd like some of her bum too please... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Dear Deirdre
I am worried about my husband. He has taken to buying me sexy lingerie, dressing me up and then insisting that I allow other men to take advantage of me. Nothing to be concerned about you might think, but he insists on returning the worn (sometimes stained) lingerie for a refund. Surely he should want to sell it on eBay ? Is this some kind of mid life crisis ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Deirdre
I am worried about my husband. He has taken to buying me sexy lingerie, dressing me up and then insisting that I allow other men to take advantage of me. Nothing to be concerned about you might think, but he insists on returning the worn (sometimes stained) lingerie for a refund. Surely he should want to sell it on eBay ? Is this some kind of mid life crisis ? "
Ha! Love it. xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've got big boobs and too much attention. How do I make it go away?
Give me ur boobs
Can I have some of your bum please?
I'd like some of her bum too please... "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear Deirdre
My FB is away for the week but I've developed a sore pussy & my vibe is dead, it's only Wednesday what do I do for the rest of the week?
In desperation
Y |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Im on the change. Any advice ?
Dear "Dry minge and hot flushes" of Cardiff...
Well, your sex life is over, so you might as well throw in the towel and buy a cardi and slippers... but it's not all bad news, the local old folks home will benefit from all the scarves you'll knit (you'll need a hobby)... and the local cats home will be able to offload a few to keep you company.
Remember to trade in your used sex toys, you have no use for them now... I suggest getting a zimmer frame ready for when your legs start to give out.
Good luck!
"
Not all women go off sex when that happens to them as for me I have gone the other way I need it more so don't believe everything u hear
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear Deirdre
I have recently developed a wind problem when at the gym, its got so bad my personal trainer has started wearing a peg
on his nose and spraying air freshener when
I leave, on the plus side my speed on the
treadmill has significantly improved. Should
I pack in the gym, change my trainer or enter
the London marathon ?
Ps
Do you know anyone who has a fetish for used holy knickers ?
Yours Ruby |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Deirdre
I have recently developed a wind problem when at the gym, its got so bad my personal trainer has started wearing a peg
on his nose and spraying air freshener when
I leave, on the plus side my speed on the
treadmill has significantly improved. Should
I pack in the gym, change my trainer or enter
the London marathon ?
Ps
Do you know anyone who has a fetish for used holey knickers ?
Yours Ruby "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear Deidre,
I really want to take my little girl out to play, but instead I have to work to the following, "...the hybrid system of Australia, the no-fault system of NZ and the fault based model of English Law to ascertain which is the best approach to take...."..
Help!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Dear dedrie
My girlfriend is a raging nymphomaniac
Just not with me, I can't understand it as I'm bloody awesome hip funny and a great shag.... But my question is this, should I use beeswax or spray polish on my wood dining table??? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear Deidre,
I know you are overwhelmed with the recent influx of problems highlighted by your post, however I recently noticed I have an unnerving desire to gaze at women who wear sexy shoes and leather skirts. I felt something strange in my trousers the other day, it was hard. I can only describe it as feeling something like stubby screwdriver. I was too scared to see what it was as I know I havent needed a screwdriver for some time, thankfully it must of fell out of my pocket as it went away after a few minutes. Do you think I need therapy or is this normal behaviour for someone as shy as myself.
Yours Sincerely
Ivor Bigun
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear Deirdre
I am worried about my husband. He has taken to buying me sexy lingerie, dressing me up and then insisting that I allow other men to take advantage of me. Nothing to be concerned about you might think, but he insists on returning the worn (sometimes stained) lingerie for a refund. Surely he should want to sell it on eBay ? Is this some kind of mid life crisis ? "
Dear "Sticky gusset"...
Nothing to worry about, at least sexually, he sounds like a great guy!
However, I'm guessing he's of Scottish decent, judging by his habit of getting a refund on the used undies... just keep an eye on your housekeeping money! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear Deirdre
My FB is away for the week but I've developed a sore pussy & my vibe is dead, it's only Wednesday what do I do for the rest of the week?
In desperation
Y "
Dear "majority duracell shareholder"...
When technology lets you down, theres only one thing for it, a bit of DIY!
Let those fingers do the walking!
Failing that, go out your front door and grab the first guy that takes your fancy.... ah hell, make it two, spoil yourself! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear Deirdre
I have recently developed a wind problem when at the gym, its got so bad my personal trainer has started wearing a peg
on his nose and spraying air freshener when
I leave, on the plus side my speed on the
treadmill has significantly improved. Should
I pack in the gym, change my trainer or enter
the London marathon ?
Ps
Do you know anyone who has a fetish for used holy knickers ?
Yours Ruby "
Dear "wind assisted world record"...
Are you sure it's your bum smell he's wafting away?
Tell hubby to stop pumping your bum full of air, and cut down on the sprouts!
As for the knickers, I hear you can get a tidy few quid on Ebay, even with the brown stains! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear Deidre,
I really want to take my little girl out to play, but instead I have to work to the following, "...the hybrid system of Australia, the no-fault system of NZ and the fault based model of English Law to ascertain which is the best approach to take...."..
Help!
"
Dear "Studious yummy mummy"...
There's no way a bunch of ex-convicts could have come up with a decent Law system, we all know British law is the best, so stick a few words down to that effect (mention Ned Kelly for extra credit) and take the wee one out to the park! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear dedrie
My girlfriend is a raging nymphomaniac
Just not with me, I can't understand it as I'm bloody awesome hip funny and a great shag.... But my question is this, should I use beeswax or spray polish on my wood dining table???"
Dear "deluded wood rubber"...
Stop her nights out until she comes to her senses and gives you a bit, but watch the dodgy hip and poor eyesight!
As for the table, beeswax is best on unvarnished wood, polish for varnished surfaces, and rub well... you should be used to that by now |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear Deidre,
I know you are overwhelmed with the recent influx of problems highlighted by your post, however I recently noticed I have an unnerving desire to gaze at women who wear sexy shoes and leather skirts. I felt something strange in my trousers the other day, it was hard. I can only describe it as feeling something like stubby screwdriver. I was too scared to see what it was as I know I havent needed a screwdriver for some time, thankfully it must of fell out of my pocket as it went away after a few minutes. Do you think I need therapy or is this normal behaviour for someone as shy as myself.
Yours Sincerely
Ivor Bigun
"
Dear "stubby nubbin"....
Looking at ladies is completely normal, as is the reaction you get... however if you don't know whats going on I would suggest some reading to get you up to speed, the usual research material for most boys are the well known medical journals called "Escort" or "Fiesta".
Happy reading! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear D.
I caught my winky in my zip last week .is there any way i can keep the swelling but take away the pain ?
"
Dear "zippeddee dooh dah"...
No, unfortunately not, the swelling will go down, although the pain can be sorted with a few paracetamol.
There is, however, one thing that can give you a hard, swollen member to be proud of... it's a special injection, but it's important to get the mix of ingredients correct, as it's injected directly into the... affected area.
The recipe is 3 of sand, one of cement and one of water!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear Deidre,
I would like to thank you for your most helpful advice. I no longer have a perverted fetish for high heels or leather skirts.
After reading the medical journals I have an overwhelming sexual tension for 80's automobiles. Their acute sharp edges and iconic looks make me a quavering mess. I can't look at classic Ford without getting aroused. I would love to get my tool out and tinker with the oily bits
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear Deidre,
I would like to thank you for your most helpful advice. I no longer have a perverted fetish for high heels or leather skirts.
After reading the medical journals I have an overwhelming sexual tension for 80's automobiles. Their acute sharp edges and iconic looks make me a quavering mess. I can't look at classic Ford without getting aroused. I would love to get my tool out and tinker with the oily bits
"
Glad to have helped.
Just a note of caution, if you do decide to get your hands dirty tinkering, be careful not to adjust the air intake on the carberetta too much, this can lead to a lack of air, the sexual fetish of this on cars is called auto-asphixia! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear d
Where i have become oddly aroused while watching tentacle hentai porn. My question os where can i find a lady to dress up as a hentai girl and find a squid who will please her. So i can make a video of this to sell |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear deidre
I am having problems with my farmer gilles,
I've taken advice of pushing them back up when ever I can. But I don't understand why I get thrown out of tesco and other public places, whilst in the middle of pushing them back up.
please help me
mr badring x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear d
Where i have become oddly aroused while watching tentacle hentai porn. My question os where can i find a lady to dress up as a hentai girl and find a squid who will please her. So i can make a video of this to sell "
Dear cartoon fisherman...
I think your best chance of finding a willing model to act this out would be dockside when they are landing their catch.... If you see a young lady eyeing up your tentacles and getting all dewy eyed at the smell, just slip her your card and see if she rings you!
Alternatively, there is a character in the tv series Spongebob Squarepants called Squidward, who seems to be a bit of a perv, maybe contact him?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear deidre
I am having problems with my farmer gilles,
I've taken advice of pushing them back up when ever I can. But I don't understand why I get thrown out of tesco and other public places, whilst in the middle of pushing them back up.
please help me
mr badring x"
Dear badring...
I don't think its so much that they object to you sorting your bum grapes out in Tescos, probably more that you use a cucumber to push them in.... and then put it back on the shelf!
My advice is to buy a strapon, turn it inside out and wear it like that, the dong will be on the inside, wedged up your chutney tunnel, thereby keeping the grapes where they should be... Just don't sit down with a bump! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Someone wanted a forum agony aunt... so I guess as I'm a caring kinda guy (stop laffin', twats!) I thought I'd have a crack, I mean, it's just holding hands and kissing ass, right?
So, spill your guts, share, let me know your problems and I'll solve them.... I mean, what could go wrong? "
nobody wants to fuck what's wrong with me:*( |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear Deidre,
Why can't I find a butch attractive guy on Fab, who will keep his pretty little gagged mouth shut and take my cock inside him when he mood takes me? There seems to be a drought, not of willing males, but of willing attractive males.
Please help and/or do a rain dance, love Frustrated from Ferndale.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Nobody seems to like me......should I give a shit?"
Dear friendless spacewoman...
It's only a problem if you DO give a shit... just don't do it in your spacesuit.... then you deffo wouldn't have any friends! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Someone wanted a forum agony aunt... so I guess as I'm a caring kinda guy (stop laffin', twats!) I thought I'd have a crack, I mean, it's just holding hands and kissing ass, right?
So, spill your guts, share, let me know your problems and I'll solve them.... I mean, what could go wrong? nobody wants to fuck what's wrong with me:*("
Dear Rusty lump...
Nothing's wrong with you, you just haven't met the right woman yet. Maybe get a new hobby that brings you into contact with women who you might have a better chance with, perhaps offer to walk their guide dogs?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dr deidre I haven't had a good pussy licking off a women for ages or vice versa how do I change this lol ?? X"
Dear Animal Lover...
A damp cat is an unhappy cat, so desist from slobbering all over the felines, and instead take up another hobby, perhaps something that also requires licking... stamp collecting? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear Deidre,
Why can't I find a butch attractive guy on Fab, who will keep his pretty little gagged mouth shut and take my cock inside him when he mood takes me? There seems to be a drought, not of willing males, but of willing attractive males.
Please help and/or do a rain dance, love Frustrated from Ferndale.
"
Dear Confused of Ferndale...
unfortunately for you, there is no such thing, you either want a butch guy, or a guy that's willing for you to do some uphill gardening on him
However, all is not lost, all you have to do is re-locate across the border, and there you will find thousands of guys who are willing... they answer to the general description of "being English".
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear Deidre
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a critical decision.
I've suspected for some time now my wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs...phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask her their names she says "just some friends from work, you don't know them".
I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.
I decided I was going to park my BMW R1150 GS motorcycle next to the garage
and hide behind it so I could get a good view of the street when she came home.
It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a bit of oil.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer ?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear Deidre, my sex drive has disappeared. Do I fake it until I make it? Or rather enjoy that I'm on the way to being virgin vice like again! "
Dear Dry as a chip....
Have you looked down the back of the sofa... where did you last see it?
Never, ever fake it, us guys go to great lengths to please you wimmen, some of us even take our socks off!
Give the little man in the boat a bit of a jiggle now and then until you get some sort of positive response, rather than bothering the lads with a possible false alarm, there's a dear!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear Diedre, why can we not all be rich??
so we wont have to work then i can do what i really want to all day
From frustrated fucker "
Dear Commie bugger....
All of the social experiments that have tried the "re-distribution of wealth" (communism) idea have failed miserably, so the best you can hope for is 6 numbers on the lottery, and then you can swish about in your swanky car.
In the meantime, that other social experiment "the re-distribution of shags" (swinging) is still going well, however, from our records, we can see that you are slipping in your duties, there's a few shags owing! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear Deidre
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a critical decision.
I've suspected for some time now my wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs...phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask her their names she says "just some friends from work, you don't know them".
I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.
I decided I was going to park my BMW R1150 GS motorcycle next to the garage
and hide behind it so I could get a good view of the street when she came home.
It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a bit of oil.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer ?
"
Dear Naff-bike of Newport...
I'd check the torque on the bolts, if it all seems tickeddy-boo then I'd get it down to the dealers sharpish, nothing worse than a dripping flange!
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear Diedre, why can we not all be rich??
so we wont have to work then i can do what i really want to all day
From frustrated fucker
Dear Commie bugger....
All of the social experiments that have tried the "re-distribution of wealth" (communism) idea have failed miserably, so the best you can hope for is 6 numbers on the lottery, and then you can swish about in your swanky car.
In the meantime, that other social experiment "the re-distribution of shags" (swinging) is still going well, however, from our records, we can see that you are slipping in your duties, there's a few shags owing! "
Dear deidre
Thankyou for your reply.. eventually. I am a very good citizen of the community and can be fully expected to help those who need it such as house bound people
I better start playing the lottery then?
Filthy fucker |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dear Mart....Sorry Diedre,
I am in such a predicament and don't know which way to turn . I have no one else I can go to for advice on this matter,which if I am honest makes all the other letters you have received on this wonderful thread pale in comparison to my dilemma . Right here goes....I am going to my mothers for Sunday dinner and I don't know what to have ... Mashed potato or whole? Now i have bared my inner most thoughts to you....PLEASE HELP!!!!
P.S Can you please keep this private and confidential between just the two of us.
Thanks
Nick |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Deidre,
Why can't I find a butch attractive guy on Fab, who will keep his pretty little gagged mouth shut and take my cock inside him when he mood takes me? There seems to be a drought, not of willing males, but of willing attractive males.
Please help and/or do a rain dance, love Frustrated from Ferndale.
Dear Confused of Ferndale...
unfortunately for you, there is no such thing, you either want a butch guy, or a guy that's willing for you to do some uphill gardening on him
However, all is not lost, all you have to do is re-locate across the border, and there you will find thousands of guys who are willing... they answer to the general description of "being English".
"
Good God no, I wouldn't be seen dead screwing anybody English |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Deidre, my sex drive has disappeared. Do I fake it until I make it? Or rather enjoy that I'm on the way to being virgin vice like again!
Dear Dry as a chip....
Have you looked down the back of the sofa... where did you last see it?
Never, ever fake it, us guys go to great lengths to please you wimmen, some of us even take our socks off!
Give the little man in the boat a bit of a jiggle now and then until you get some sort of positive response, rather than bothering the lads with a possible false alarm, there's a dear!
"
Hmmm. Maybe it will be under the sofa along with my super safe sex kit.
Haha but I like it when they keep their nikes and socks on.
Man in the boat is sending up distress flares. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Dear Mart....Sorry Diedre,
I am in such a predicament and don't know which way to turn . I have no one else I can go to for advice on this matter,which if I am honest makes all the other letters you have received on this wonderful thread pale in comparison to my dilemma . Right here goes....I am going to my mothers for Sunday dinner and I don't know what to have ... Mashed potato or whole? Now i have bared my inner most thoughts to you....PLEASE HELP!!!!
P.S Can you please keep this private and confidential between just the two of us.
Thanks
Nick "
Dear Nick-erless....
you are the kind of degenerate that makes my blood boil, innit!
It should go without saying that it should be ROASTIES ffs, with a selection of seasonal roasted veg, like parsnips and carrots!
Only thing that should be boiled in a roast (theres a clue!) dinner is a few peas and some cauli, or if it's a special occasion, then some lovely sprouts!
There is, however, some hope for you, once dinner is done, get the marigolds on and the scourers out and do the dishes, that should bring you back to normality! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
