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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"(Puts his official FABguide hat on, and holds aloft an umbrella)
Ok, follow me, keep up, there's a lot to get through, no flash photography please, and mind where you are stepping!. (Takes off at a high rate of knots).
(Waves brolly around recklessly, almost spearing a regular) This is the main area, most chill out here.
(Points to the left) That's the nawty step, you'll find a few hanging out over there of a Friday and Saturday night.
(Points to the right) Over there is the bar, you will find quite a few of the regulars there propping that up at all hours of the day and night! Be prepared to stand your round if asked!
(Turns the corner, points ahead) That door leads to the High Street, it's where we all go when we are doing "a shop run", usually for booze, or a take-away, again, if you offer, be prepared to take notes, they are a lazy lot, and will always ask you to bring them back something if you say you are going to the shops.
(Steps around a gently snoring female.. gives her a poke with the umbrella) Keep up at the back there!
(points down a right-hand corridor) That leads to the deep dark recesses, where "Those" subjects (raises eyebrows) are discussed... make sure you borrow a kevlar and osprey if you are heading down there... always fights breaking out down there.
(Sniffs, catches a whiff of something cooking, and picks up the frantic pace) and just ahead is the FAB kitchen, here you will come to dole out any cuppas, bacon sandwiches, or other sustenance that you offer up... just don't get lumbered with the washing up!
(Turns right) And as we head back towards the entrance, here on the left (points) we have the "Woe is me corridor" where people come to whine about singleguys/timewasters/ cantgetmeets/youareallfakes/whatswrongwithmyprofile/etc,
(Points again) and, finally, the toilets, where, even though its against the rules, quite a bit of action happens!
(Slows to a stop) So, there you have it, the Welsh forums,inhabited by a feckless band of ne'er-do-wells, d*unks, trouble-makers and crazies (looks him up and down) I think you'll fit in just fine!  "
mart you are top dog love it lol  |
It really is the best way to get to know a lot of your fellow fabbers 
