FabSwingers.com > Forums > Wales > Nobody bothers reading meassages
Nobody bothers reading meassages
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By *ENRIR84 OP Man 4 weeks ago
Merthyr tydfil |
How come 99% of women don't bother reading messages or if they do can't be bothered to reply on here? I put lots of effort into most of my messages and they still get me no where lol. If soneone messages me and I'm not interested I always reply and let them down as nice as possible. I respect most women get loads of messages but when they state they'll reply to messages with effort then can't be bothered to read is annoying. This site back in the day was really good. Now it's impossible to get a conversation outta most on here. |
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In our case, we have received verbal abuse when replying with a polite "no thanks". We just delete any messages now from anyone where it is clear they have not read our _rofile. If they won't read and adhere to our _rofile why would we read and reply to their message.
Dory |
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By *ENRIR84 OP Man 4 weeks ago
Merthyr tydfil |
Even when adhered to _rofile there is nothing, seems the decent and genuine guys on here get tarnished with the same brush as the idiots on here. Of course I have no doubt that there are a lot of idiots on here but we really ain't all the same especially the genuine ones and the ones who actually take the time to read _rofiles. Just a shame it's so bad on here unfortunately
Jay |
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No reply means no thanks is in the site FAQs. No one is entitled to a reply on here no matter how nice they are, especially when there are A LOT of men on here that can't take no for an answer appropriately. |
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Many will be put off by your anonymous _rofile and the fact that it is new.
Try not to take it personally, this site will be peppered with predators, pretenders and fake accounts. So naturally people are wary.
However there are a lot of lovely people out there having loads of fun. It will just take a little bit of time and effort to find them.
I would recommend attending to your _rofile and getting along to some of the organised socials. That way you can demonstrate your genuineness and acquire some essential verifications.
Lojo
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It’s some of what the above have said. Also, in my case, I don’t read majority of messages because I simply can’t get through them all in a day. I get so many and I’m sure all the other women are the same, we simply won’t see them |
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Your _rofile pic is blank.
That would be an instant delete for us.
Ladies get too many messages to cope with and a silhouette is an easy out.
You're also not verified.
We wouldn't speak to anyone unverified.
Get yourself to a social to get verified. |
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We all know the ratio on here men to women and couples is extremely one-sided. If you have sent 1 message to a single female guaranteed 200 other men have too. So like mentioned above sort your _rofile out first make it appealing and relevant to the person your sending it too. Try and make a few socials and don't be pushy |
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"How come 99% of women don't bother reading messages or if they do can't be bothered to reply on here? I put lots of effort into most of my messages and they still get me no where lol. If soneone messages me and I'm not interested I always reply and let them down as nice as possible. I respect most women get loads of messages but when they state they'll reply to messages with effort then can't be bothered to read is annoying. This site back in the day was really good. Now it's impossible to get a conversation outta most on here. "
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Sorry to hear that OP, however, in your case.... it's glaringly obvious. 🌈 |
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By *ENRIR84 OP Man 4 weeks ago
Merthyr tydfil |
"Your _rofile pic is blank.
That would be an instant delete for us.
Ladies get too many messages to cope with and a silhouette is an easy out.
You're also not verified.
We wouldn't speak to anyone unverified.
Get yourself to a social to get verified."
I am verified lol photo and meet also I don't have public pics because of the nature of my job, I'm more than haply to send any thsts requested providing I know the person is genuine. I'm not against showing myself to someone just not willing to put my face on this site publicly. I'm a bus driver so as you can imagine the last thing I want is everyone to see who I am even the fakes and time wasters. And as far as socials are concerned from what I've read in this site in the comments from most are that they are inundated with men so what's the chances of most men getting the chance to talk with the women lol
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By *ENRIR84 OP Man 4 weeks ago
Merthyr tydfil |
"Yea the lack of _rofile pic would instantly result in your message not even being opened  "
I am verified lol photon and meet also I don't have public pics because of the nature of my job, I'm more than haply to send any thsts requested providing I know the person is genuine. I'm not against showing myself to someone just not willing to put my face on this site publicly. I'm a bus driver so as you can imagine the last thing I want is everyone to see who I am even the fakes and time wasters. And as far as socials are concerned from what I've read in this site in the comments from most are that they are inundated with men so what's the chances of most men getting the chance to talk with the women lol
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By *ENRIR84 OP Man 4 weeks ago
Merthyr tydfil |
I am. Photo and meet verified just goes to show that most people don't take notice of _rofiles on here lmao. Also I'm a bus driver so not willing to publicly advertise myself. I'm always happy to send my face pic to someone genuine and verified themselves. But there's so many _rofiles that are not even photo verified on here so would be silly of me to have public pics on here. And as far as being pushy goes I am very far from pushy. Usually if I send one message and don't get a reply then I don't send another unless I find that person very attractive and then it's a nice message and nothing abusive and also if someone says they are not interested then I always say thank you and cheers for letting me know. Not everyone is everybody's cup of tea, I'm a fully grown adult and kikda normal so I can totally understand that lol |
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By *ENRIR84 OP Man 4 weeks ago
Merthyr tydfil |
"How come 99% of women don't bother reading messages or if they do can't be bothered to reply on here? I put lots of effort into most of my messages and they still get me no where lol. If soneone messages me and I'm not interested I always reply and let them down as nice as possible. I respect most women get loads of messages but when they state they'll reply to messages with effort then can't be bothered to read is annoying. This site back in the day was really good. Now it's impossible to get a conversation outta most on here.
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Sorry to hear that OP, however, in your case.... it's glaringly obvious. 🌈"
And how'd you work that out because I'm not willing to publicly show my face?? 🤯 |
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"Sorry to hear that OP, however, in your case.... it's glaringly obvious. 🌈
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And how'd you work that out because I'm not willing to publicly show my face?? 🤯"
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I didn't mention your face.
Look at my _rofile, OP, and see if you can work out what I do for a living. Can you see the entirety of my face? Am I wearing a uniform or anything that would give me away or explain the "nature of my job"? Is there anything about me that would identify me?
In fact you've unwittingly just outed yourself as a bus driver.
It's not just not one particular thing that is glaringly obvious; it's many little things that may detract women from contacting you/replying to you... ...
Your username - although not crass - it grammatically incorrect and unimaginative. If you're going undersell yourself as an "average guy" then it's not going to instil any confidence to some of the women. (Also - and I don't mean to lecture you - it's "an average guy" and not "a average guy").
You have a blank _rofile photo/avatar: change it to something, anything, perhaps holding a glass of wine against the backdrop of a riverbank with your hand in the picture; just anything will do other than what you have currently.
Stop using "LOL". This is Fab, it's not the school playground. Even unclassy women want some class.
Verifications: I'll give you the benefit of the doubt - display at least one verification. People - some people in fact - need some reassurance that you are a real person and a sane man. A glowing reference pays dividends for men on here.
And....you've only been here 6 weeks! That's absolutely nothing at all. It will take time and patience.
Lastly: I had a social today with a woman. She told me that she only opens the message IF there is a _rofile photo (of anything). A message with a blank avatar gets binned straightaway. ALSO - she will look at the _rofile BEFORE she opens the message. If she doesn't like what she sees then it gets binned.
What she told me aligns with the other 500+ women on the forums who have mentioned this over the last few months.
I wish you luck. 🩶👋🏻 |
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To say that all of the socials are inundated with single males is nonsense.
There are some really good socials in the South Wales area and the organisers work hard to make them friendly, fun and a safe way for people to make new friends.
Try it  |
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"Your _rofile pic is blank.
That would be an instant delete for us.
Ladies get too many messages to cope with and a silhouette is an easy out.
You're also not verified.
We wouldn't speak to anyone unverified.
Get yourself to a social to get verified.
I am verified lol photo and meet also I don't have public pics because of the nature of my job, I'm more than haply to send any thsts requested providing I know the person is genuine. I'm not against showing myself to someone just not willing to put my face on this site publicly. I'm a bus driver so as you can imagine the last thing I want is everyone to see who I am even the fakes and time wasters. And as far as socials are concerned from what I've read in this site in the comments from most are that they are inundated with men so what's the chances of most men getting the chance to talk with the women lol
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A negative attitude won't get you anywhere, as filth club suggested, attend social, there's plenty available for you to put your name down for.
As for pics, you can have some visible that don't show your face but gives people an impression of you, so maybe look at other _rofiles and see how you can tweak yours to stand out a little.
It's always good to appreciate the advice given by those who are trying to help you.  |
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By *rofMan 4 weeks ago
Around |
Briefly, you're not entitled to have a message read, replied too or anything else you think you have the right to.
That also goes for couples and single females.
Take it as it is they are either not interested or have other options available to them. Arguing your case just makes it easier for people to justify not reading it in the first place. |
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If you ask me they should make it so males can't message unless the female or couple have messaged first, that way you know that they are interested and can start a convo and more.
Bit like bumble, I know half the time you can message and your message will be at the bottom of a long list of other messages all unread cos they ain't got the time to go through them all.
STAND OUT if you can with your _rofile. |
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The best advice I can give you is there are plenty of similar sites that regulate male to female ratio where there's more of a level playing field. Find one of the good sites. I only come on here for old friends now from before the site got so one sided and ruined it |
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By *tbbWoman 4 weeks ago
aberdare |
A faceless _rofile and no pictures at all would not get a reply from me or most women. Like others have suggested also show some verifications. It shows us women that you’re genuine.
As for socials they are not full of single men. I’ve made more connections with women at socials than men so that’s not true
Men that moan about not getting replies messages also are a turn off. |
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"If you ask me they should make it so males can't message unless the female or couple have messaged first..."
That won't necessarily solve the problem. Women have often told me that they rarely do a local search or perform a tailored search because of the thousands of insurmountable male _rofiles with cock-infested _rofile photos. They simply don't have the time to boil the ocean when all they want is a drop. |
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By *an1978Woman 4 weeks ago
GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please) |
As mentioned above.
Any photo is better than none.
(Would advise against a dick pic though.)
A headless fully clothed pic is fine.
My clothed right boob has served me well.
Agree also on the username,
You want something that they can easily type in to look you up.
And then just format the text block in your _rofile
Then you're ready to go out to a social to get to know people. 
Or not...
Just it takes a lot longer without the organised socials. |
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
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Ahhh yet another message about the unfriendliness of Fab in its current culture form.
My advise is scrap Fab and get on dating sites. People connect for more frequently on there and are more open to converse. Fab, particularly in South Wales has become a community which unfortunately don't take to outsiders very well.
Socials are the main source of becoming welcomed but not everyone wants to attend a social.
Good luck mate |
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"...Fab, particularly in South Wales has become a community which unfortunately don't take to outsiders very well."
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That's interesting because in all my time on Fab the vast majority of women I've engaged with have come from Wales. |
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There's a lot of good advice on here and tbh you've been on ere 6 weeks and say you've been verified so youve had a meet or social ect so thats a plus so put that verification up so people can see cos thats good going !
Theres many on here thats been on a lot longer than that and not been able to get a verification
Youve come up with excuses about your pics due to your work but yet youve outed yourself with regards to your job
No one is expecting you to put full body or face pics up but put a pic up , part of your leg / arm ect anything really , put some effort into your _rofile
Me an hubby have a couples _rofile an party ones, if someone messages and hasn't put any effort into their _rofile then why should we or anyone else put effort into replying to you ?
Take a step back re gig your _rofile and be patient, 6 weeks is nothing , get out to socials introduce yourself get some more verifications show them off and you'll start to do well
Ps regards the comment about us welsh not liking messages from other areas
What aload of big BS |
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By *JandCMCouple 4 weeks ago
cardiff |
We find most single M's who send messages have not looked through our _rofile where it states things like, "if no _rofile pictures don't contact us" or "if we're looking for single men then we'll contact you."
If people are not reading through the _rofile then I think they don't deserve a reply. |
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I wish there was a like button on here, as some of these comments are smacking the nail on the head.
When we get messages we know when the _rofiles not been read and if you'd of read it you'd know why.
But when men message with just 'nice' or 'would smash' your not going to get far.
But it go's both ways if a single woman messages and doesn't address us both just like a guy we have no intrest we come as a team regardless of if your meeting one or the other.
Otherwise like most have said get to a social meet people, show your real, word spreads about the kind of person you are and before you know it people will give you a chance, it's to risky for a single women to risk her safety with some of the nutters out there, we've heard a few storys. |
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
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"...Fab, particularly in South Wales has become a community which unfortunately don't take to outsiders very well.
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That's interesting because in all my time on Fab the vast majority of women I've engaged with have come from Wales."
Do you attend socials? |
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"...Fab, particularly in South Wales has become a community which unfortunately don't take to outsiders very well.
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That's interesting because in all my time on Fab the vast majority of women I've engaged with have come from Wales.
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Do you attend socials?"
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Yes, but not the Welsh ones. |
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By *lan157Man 4 weeks ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
You are right of course OP you are not going to get replies to your messages for all the reasons set out above .So believe it and find a new way forward . What worked years ago won't work now with so many men on here and a big proportion of those men with attitudes unsuited to the lifestyle.As suggested get along to one of the many socials and chat to people face to face. That has a greater possibility of success . |
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By *ost SockMan 4 weeks ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
I joined 13 years ago and loads of guys were complaining about it back then. The idea that it was all fine in the old days is a bit fanciful, I think.
Even if it is a well-written message, sometimes women are just too busy to reply. People have jobs, kids, caring duties etc. It sounds a bit churlish to be having a go at them for that, tbh. I struggle to keep up with all my “real world” texts and emails - there’s no way I’d cope if I was a popular woman on here!
The fact that you’ve concluded this after six weeks on this particular account suggests that you’ve sent quite a lot of messages out. Personally, I think a message is just for when you have that hard to quantify feeling that there is a real fit/connection with the other person(s). I can’t really explain it well, but it’s almost intuition, I guess.
I’ve probably sent less messages in 13 years than many send in the first month (I reckon it’s about three per year max). Fab has been good though - I just hang out here and have random conversations really (which have, on occasions, led places). I do even get the odd message.
I’m definitely no Fab legend, but hopefully it shows that it is possible to have a decent experience, if you don’t “force it”. |
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
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Why can't we accept as a community that people experience things in different ways?
What the op might consider as a challenge and unsatisfactory to him isn't going to be the same for the next person and vice versa.
I have used this site off and on for a very long time and I can most certainly see where the dynamic of the site has changed over the years and not all for the better.
I do consider it rude if you follow all the criteria pin pointed on somebodies _rofile for them to dismiss it without any sort of reply. A lot of _rofiles will have a short list of criteria they expect to be fulfilled but yet won't respond with a simple no if that person has met that criteria. They have 'demands' in place which we all have to respect but yet someone is nullified if they 'demand' a response.
Now to say that it is far to difficult because the amount of messages they get is again a falsehood. I recieve on average around 200 emails a day to which I respond to. Now I understand this is my job and so on so forth but my point is is that it is achievable and also if they have already said they will narrow it down with the use of criteria then a lot of those messages will be deleted off the bat. It's those who have been attentive to the _rofile and everything it entails who deserve respect in return. |
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