Does anyone else find socials to be cliquey? We went to one last night and it just seems like lots of big groups of people that knew each other, then scattered couples awkwardly looking around. There was a bit of a "you can sit here" vibe from big cliquey groups. Also do bi men exist at all at socials? We were looking to meet a guy to join us but no such luck as there seemed to only be couples. Maybe different venues have different vibes and we should skip the Newport one next time and try somewhere else? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The ones we have attended and enjoyed are Caerphilly, Cardiff, Newport, Bridgend and Swansea. We have heard very good things about Blackwood as well.
Contact the organisers say you are new and nervous. Messaging groups are always available for each type of social where you can chat and meet others before attending. We run 3. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
bi gentleman here. i have been to two socials and it was cliquey but did still find lovely people at both. not sure me being bi was ever discussed so possible was some without knowing too. may i also say what a sexy couple you two are x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I run a speed-dating event in Swansea. It is designed to be the antithesis of cliquiness.
It's upbeat, hilarious and you get to meet lots of new people.
I have a (partly) tame Elf who makes introductions and feeds people sweets, as well as a very friendly team of helpers and regulars who's mission it is to bring people together.
Plus the venue now has accommodation for those who get lucky.
Check out the profile and veris for info, and feel free to DM me if you like 
Lojo x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
|
"I run a speed-dating event in Swansea. It is designed to be the antithesis of cliquiness.
It's upbeat, hilarious and you get to meet lots of new people.
I have a (partly) tame Elf who makes introductions and feeds people sweets, as well as a very friendly team of helpers and regulars who's mission it is to bring people together.
Plus the venue now has accommodation for those who get lucky.
Check out the profile and veris for info, and feel free to DM me if you like
Lojo x"
We also went to a new-to-us social last night (with the Filth Club!!) and can confirm that it was not cliquey in any way! EVERYONE was amazing and friendly and we went out partying afterwards with a group, it was a REALLY great night and we can't recommend it enough! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Does anyone else find socials to be cliquey? We went to one last night and it just seems like lots of big groups of people that knew each other, then scattered couples awkwardly looking around. There was a bit of a "you can sit here" vibe from big cliquey groups. Also do bi men exist at all at socials? We were looking to meet a guy to join us but no such luck as there seemed to only be couples. Maybe different venues have different vibes and we should skip the Newport one next time and try somewhere else?"
Should have gone to Filthclub. It was a lovely vibe there. Do get bi men too. Always going to groups of people that know each other. Lots of us attend lots of socials. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I run a speed-dating event in Swansea. It is designed to be the antithesis of cliquiness.
It's upbeat, hilarious and you get to meet lots of new people.
I have a (partly) tame Elf who makes introductions and feeds people sweets, as well as a very friendly team of helpers and regulars who's mission it is to bring people together.
Plus the venue now has accommodation for those who get lucky.
Check out the profile and veris for info, and feel free to DM me if you like
Lojo x
We also went to a new-to-us social last night (with the Filth Club!!) and can confirm that it was not cliquey in any way! EVERYONE was amazing and friendly and we went out partying afterwards with a group, it was a REALLY great night and we can't recommend it enough! "
Yeah, come to one of the FC events
It is a little daunting meeting a room full of new people, but I've personally found them to be the most open and welcoming |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Evening all.
We host the Blackwood Social, we've been new and found some places cliquey, then we weren't new and attended socials and stayed within the same groups all the time.
When we had a chance to take over the Blackwood social we made a point of inviting newbies, mixing people up ourselves and generally trying to separate cliques.
There's nothing wrong with people wanting to chat and catch up with people they're friends with in and out of the lifestyle, but at Blackwood, we do our best to mingle and introduce people to other people throughout the night. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
To the OP I think that wherever you decide to go, if you're feeling a little nervous message the organisers first, whoever they may be
I'm positive they'd be happy to introduce you around, get you settled in. It's always nice to have new people at socials and everyone wants everyone else to feel welcome
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Does anyone else find socials to be cliquey? We went to one last night and it just seems like lots of big groups of people that knew each other, then scattered couples awkwardly looking around. There was a bit of a "you can sit here" vibe from big cliquey groups. Also do bi men exist at all at socials? We were looking to meet a guy to join us but no such luck as there seemed to only be couples. Maybe different venues have different vibes and we should skip the Newport one next time and try somewhere else?"
Would you consider groups of people in a pub cliquey?
unless you actively go out of your way to talk to people instead of sitting expecting to be approached, your not going to enjoy the night. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As a once newbie to fab, I started going to socials on my own..
It was very daunting and I’m a lil shy at 1st.
I found that there was groups of ppl that did seem tough to break into, but as I met more ppl outside of the socials, the socials became a whole lot easier.
It’s lush to catch up with old and newer friends at socials so I can see how this seems to be an issue, but FAB is like anything…. The more effort you put in the more you get out..
Be pursistant with the socials, speak to the organisers, and if you see someone who’s going drop them a message. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Does anyone else find socials to be cliquey? We went to one last night and it just seems like lots of big groups of people that knew each other, then scattered couples awkwardly looking around. There was a bit of a "you can sit here" vibe from big cliquey groups. Also do bi men exist at all at socials? We were looking to meet a guy to join us but no such luck as there seemed to only be couples. Maybe different venues have different vibes and we should skip the Newport one next time and try somewhere else?"
U are not the only one to feel that way and looking for same with no results unfortunately but we made few friends and had good times mostly enjoying time out together. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 14 weeks ago
|
I’m new to the social scene and been to Blackwood and Newport.
Both very different but have the benefits.
Newport is busy and fun to get on the dance floor and a lot more people there to speak too but because of the size etc it’s not easy to do that.
Blackwood is a smaller room and everyone together so it’s a great place to speak to people. Jackie and Steve do a great job of hosting and introducing people together so you never get left on your own. I meet my guy at Blackwood social 
But I know it’s hard and it takes a while to get used to it but the more you speak to people the better!
I think your the couple I saw and thought you both looked really attractive |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Socials are what you make them!
Not all socials suit everyone, Different hosts/ venues do it differently.
Tips from a Single female…
Even as a couple, Maybe attend a social with someone you know or arrange get chatting and arrange to meet at the social. It breaks the ice of feeling like you’re on your own.
Let the hosts know your new to socials and what your looking for, most will point you in the right direction and some even help introduce you to others.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
What deems as a click to some and may seem daunting actually are a group of people who have met through fab and are using socials to catch up, for example I met up with Friends from Swansea and neath way and used majority of my evening to catch up with them, we was all new this and nervous at some point so the majority of people in the scene would welcome you in with open arms and try there best to make you feel at ease. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Does anyone else find socials to be cliquey? We went to one last night and it just seems like lots of big groups of people that knew each other, then scattered couples awkwardly looking around. There was a bit of a "you can sit here" vibe from big cliquey groups. Also do bi men exist at all at socials? We were looking to meet a guy to join us but no such luck as there seemed to only be couples. Maybe different venues have different vibes and we should skip the Newport one next time and try somewhere else?"
At all events/clubs people will always gravitate to people they have met in the scene, whether they have played or just socially met, it is not hard for couples to start talking as previously stated you get out what you put in. We meet a lot of newbies at social events and always make them welcome and have a good time. like some have said chat beforehand as lots do chat and meet for pre social drinks as well. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We went to the Newport social for the first time this weekend too. We loved it! We caught up with some people we already knew, people we had spoken to on fab but not met yet & people who were completely new to us. The hosts of the Newport social for me have it spot on. They would introduce you to someone if that's what you want but otherwise let you navigate your own night, which is what suits us. You may prefer Filth club. Hosts are great there too but it's a completely different vibe.
I agree that socials are what you make them & it's worth speaking to people before you go. Hope you find one that works for you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The thing is with socials is that they will always be difficult to start with but the more you go to them and get to know people the easier it gets.
The fact that people were offering you to sit by them actually suggests they were trying to friendly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hey, we're relatively new here too and Saturday was our first ever social at newport.
It was a bit daunting at first as there were big groups of established friends. Luckily we knew a couple and a single lady there so we sat with them and their friends and had a great night.
For what it's worth we both thought you were a good looking couple but we're still too shy too approach new couples first yet lol (but can see on your profile now you're not looking for couples anyway!)
I think the more we go to, the more confident we'll get. I guess you get out of socials the effort you put in, if that makes sense
We're trying blackwood social Saturday as heard great things |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *urves88Woman 14 weeks ago
Abergavenny |
A social is first and foremost a social. You need to be sociable...approach people, start talking, go from there. You'll always get groups of people, doesn't mean you can't introduce yourselves and join in. Gotta make the effort x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Our first social was the Newport social. We got chatting with a couple on here before we went and decided to sit together.
The same night, I (the ex smoker) went to the smoking area and met some of the best people I know, and would consider some of our truest friends.
Smoking areas seem to be the best place to meet people, the Newport one especially because people just sit to get away from the noise.
You'll probably think we are the cliques now, as that one couple turned into a huge group of lovely younger people who spend the night catching up and finding more people to join our "clique".
If we manage to go to another Newport night, or one of the fantastic flithclub nights, you are welcome to join us
Moral of the story, keep an eye on who is putting their names down and reach out before, you might actually find some really cool people along the way!
Her x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We went to a social down south a few years back. We arrived about an hour after it started due to traffic. Everyone seemed to have settled around the 4 tables so all we could see were groups of backs. Not a spare seat at any of them 😅
We did our best to hover outside each group and try to jump into the chat but it just seemed to be one big reunion at each table so we didn't really get a look in. We got chatting with another couple who couldn't find a place to land either but we didn't stay more than an hour. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *urves88Woman 14 weeks ago
Abergavenny |
"Our first social was the Newport social. We got chatting with a couple on here before we went and decided to sit together.
The same night, I (the ex smoker) went to the smoking area and met some of the best people I know, and would consider some of our truest friends.
Smoking areas seem to be the best place to meet people, the Newport one especially because people just sit to get away from the noise.
You'll probably think we are the cliques now, as that one couple turned into a huge group of lovely younger people who spend the night catching up and finding more people to join our "clique".
If we manage to go to another Newport night, or one of the fantastic flithclub nights, you are welcome to join us
Moral of the story, keep an eye on who is putting their names down and reach out before, you might actually find some really cool people along the way!
Her x"
Yes! Absolutely this!! Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A lot of good replies here , like most said when you go to socials you need to come out of your comfort zone and say hi to people introducing yourself to others , weather your at the bar getting a drink in say hi to the person next to you or at the toilets
I don't smoke but hubs does and everywhere we go even at our parties we end up in smoking areas cos that's where people are openly talking and you can join in the conversation without being rude or intruding
With our parties we normally have a telegram group for those attending so you can all chat and say hi to eachother ect before the party , Newport socials Kinkypair40-socials also have a telegram group too for people to join before the social
It's daunting at 1st trust me but whenever you go to any parties or socials pull your big pants up and move about an mingle say hi introduce yourself its the best way to be , also get in touch with those who organise the party / social and im sure they will happily introduce you to people show you around ect
In our parties we always make sure your shown around introduced ect and also we will meet people outside and walk them in so their not entering somewhere on their own xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hiskasMan 14 weeks ago
Llanelli |
I must agree it's daunting going to a social for the first time, newport is 1 of the biggest and there is a lot of people that k ow each other. My first time at Newport I was like a deer in headlights and was so nervous, once the host was new of this she helped settle my nerves and I had a great night. Most public socials do have some form of groups but honestly they don't bite, well unless you ask them to and I'm sure some will give you a nibble. As the others have said group chats are a fantastic way to break the ice on any event your going to.
As to the are there any bi men, I'm sure you will find some and again the group chats will help you discover them and connect a bit before the nite.
Definitely get your name down for any events and party's you can make it to, swinging is a lifestyle and just like shopping there will be places you like and don't. So think Tesco and every little help |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *3xymamaWoman 14 weeks ago
Uptown Top Ranking |
.y first Newport social I went to on my own. Got chatting to a few people and the rest is history. It can be daunting as others have said, but I think people are pretty friendly. Just a smile and hello goes a long way. Please don't give up at this first hurdle, there's lots of fun and laughter to be had |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
