FabSwingers.com > Forums > Wales > Advice for single guys attending a Club
Advice for single guys attending a Club
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"I thought it might be useful to give you fellas some tips on club etiquette. This is based on my many years of attending clubs and YOU GUYS NEED TO READ THIS ! Firstly, congratulations on making the big step to the wonderful world of swinging clubs. They are a lot of fun but don't be fooled, sex is not guaranteed especially for single guys and unless you want to be banned RESPECT IS KEY. 1. NO TOUCHING!!! This may sound stupid but hear me out. Clubs are designed for like minded people in the lifestyle to meet up and socialise in a safe environment. Unless you are given permission, DONT TOUCH anyone. It may seem inviting when a couple are going at it right next to you but always ask permission first. If they say yes, good effort but remember to be respectful. Don't do a Trump and grab her by the pussy unless you want a few missing teeth after. Just like day to day life, CONSENT IS REQUIRED, just because its in a club doesn't mean it isn't the real word. Respect everyone. 2. BOUNDARIES!!! We all get a bit lost in the moment sometimes but defining clear boundaries is the best way to have a good time. Ask what each other like, dislike or want to try. If it ain't on the happy list, don't do it. Once again it is all about consent, ensure that if you are gonna try doing something new, that everyone is happy with it. If not, move on. 3. DOORS!!! Bit of a random one this but alot of guys seem to forget it. If you are doing the rounds and seeing what is about and you see a closed door... leave it. Doors are a way of invitation. If a door is closed it means the people in it want to be left alone. Don't try and break it down. If a door is open, that is usually an indication that they are inviting people to join in or watch. If that's the case, refer to my previous 2 steps. If you do happen to enter a room with people playing, be respectful. Some couples love being watched and will be putting on a show for you but always ask permission first. 4. COHERENCE!!! Need abit of Dutch courage to go into a club? That's fine, but necking a bottle of vodka isn't going to help you. If you are going to drink before hand just remember that although you may seem fine, other people may perceive you differently. Also you want to be able to remember all the lovely people you meet so sometimes less is more. Trust me when I say that no-one is impressed by your 12 pints and still get a hard on routine. 5.HYGEINE!!! Make sure your hygiene is on top form Lads, no lady wants a smelly cock waved in their faces let alone in their mouth. Make sure you wash before and after any activities. Their are showers everywhere in clubs for this exact reason. 6.CONDOMS!!! Most places sell them for dirt cheap, if you are going to play with new people, ask them if they play safe, if it's a yes then chuck a pillow case on regardless of "whether or not you like them." This is about keeping people safe and ensuring that the fun can continue. 7.INTERACTION please, please, please, talk to people! There is nothing worse than a single guy wandering the club who doesn't talk to anyone and then expects to get intimate when things are happening in an open room. Don't be one of the wanking dead, be brave and talk to people. We are all there for the same lifestyle, so why not talk about it to others ? Most importantly remember that Swinging Clubs are not "fuck me now" clubs. They are by design there for people to meet, socialise and be safe. Playing is an added bonus. Be respectful to each other and you are more likely to be invited to a room. Now, go to the club, have a great time, and always help others who are new " Some guys lack the confidence of others. That doesn’t mean they are dead beats infact they are probably some off the best guys in there | |||
"Some guys lack the confidence of others. That doesn’t mean they are dead beats infact they are probably some off the best guys in there " Very true  however, how will people know if they are not ?
I refer to my previous answer on No 7 | |||
"Some guys lack the confidence of others. That doesn’t mean they are dead beats infact they are probably some off the best guys in there Very true however, how will people know if they are not ?
I refer to my previous answer on No 7 "And I refer to my opening statement | |||
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"Some guys lack the confidence of others. That doesn’t mean they are dead beats infact they are probably some off the best guys in there Very true however, how will people know if they are not ?
I refer to my previous answer on No 7
And I refer to my opening statement "So quite exactly what do you expect to happen? CJ is offering some good advice, if you don’t have the confidence to chat to people first, it’s possibly not the place for you. | |||
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"After my experience last night, everyone should be made to sign some agreement before even getting through the doors of the club. Zero tolerance. Turns out the law regarding unwanted sexual contact doesn't apply in a club. Some men need a serious word with themselves." I stood in disbelief at the behaviour and walked out. No on at all | |||
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"After my experience last night, everyone should be made to sign some agreement before even getting through the doors of the club. Zero tolerance. Turns out the law regarding unwanted sexual contact doesn't apply in a club. Some men need a serious word with themselves. I stood in disbelief at the behaviour and walked out. No on at all" So you turned a blind eye? Almost as bad as the behaviour itself.. | |||
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"Thank you for the post, twice now I have meant to go to a club and just bottled it last minute. Only last night I was supposed to go to greenhouse and I was outside ( after driving hour and a half to get there ), just the nerves got the better of me. Crazy thing is I’m not normally shy or nervous, think it was the fear of going in and being left as the only one not invited to play. Would be nice to have someone to go with. " No one, male or female, is ever guaranteed an invite to play, whether they go alone, as a couple or group. I'd go with the idea of socialising, meeting other likeminded people and maybe forming connections | |||
"Thank you for the post, twice now I have meant to go to a club and just bottled it last minute. Only last night I was supposed to go to greenhouse and I was outside ( after driving hour and a half to get there ), just the nerves got the better of me. Crazy thing is I’m not normally shy or nervous, think it was the fear of going in and being left as the only one not invited to play. Would be nice to have someone to go with. No one, male or female, is ever guaranteed an invite to play, whether they go alone, as a couple or group. I'd go with the idea of socialising, meeting other likeminded people and maybe forming connections "This ^^^ stop on. A lot of people seem to think that "they have paid their money" and are guaranteed sex. Even to the point of touching without consent and badgering people to play.. | |||
"Thank you for the post, twice now I have meant to go to a club and just bottled it last minute. Only last night I was supposed to go to greenhouse and I was outside ( after driving hour and a half to get there ), just the nerves got the better of me. Crazy thing is I’m not normally shy or nervous, think it was the fear of going in and being left as the only one not invited to play. Would be nice to have someone to go with. " Very rarely will I end up playing it’s just the way it is | |||
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"Thank you for the post, twice now I have meant to go to a club and just bottled it last minute. Only last night I was supposed to go to greenhouse and I was outside ( after driving hour and a half to get there ), just the nerves got the better of me. Crazy thing is I’m not normally shy or nervous, think it was the fear of going in and being left as the only one not invited to play. Would be nice to have someone to go with. " Im usually only invited to play by strange men who haven't said anything to me other than 'shall we get a room?' and then can't take no for an answer, I spend a lot of time at clubs in communal areas chatting to people. If they then go and play with someone else and don't invite you, sorry but that's just the way it is, happens to me and other women as well as men, do not follow them unless invited, it can be disheartening but you just have to deal with it | |||
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"Thank you for the post, twice now I have meant to go to a club and just bottled it last minute. Only last night I was supposed to go to greenhouse and I was outside ( after driving hour and a half to get there ), just the nerves got the better of me. Crazy thing is I’m not normally shy or nervous, think it was the fear of going in and being left as the only one not invited to play. Would be nice to have someone to go with. Im usually only invited to play by strange men who haven't said anything to me other than 'shall we get a room?' and then can't take no for an answer, I spend a lot of time at clubs in communal areas chatting to people. If they then go and play with someone else and don't invite you, sorry but that's just the way it is, happens to me and other women as well as men, do not follow them unless invited, it can be disheartening but you just have to deal with it" I also get men like this- and when I laugh and mention that they haven’t even spoken to me, they walk away, then reappear and try again… same happens in socials though tbh. Men say nothing, yet message me after to hook up  | |||
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"Thank you for the post, twice now I have meant to go to a club and just bottled it last minute. Only last night I was supposed to go to greenhouse and I was outside ( after driving hour and a half to get there ), just the nerves got the better of me. Crazy thing is I’m not normally shy or nervous, think it was the fear of going in and being left as the only one not invited to play. Would be nice to have someone to go with. Im usually only invited to play by strange men who haven't said anything to me other than 'shall we get a room?' and then can't take no for an answer, I spend a lot of time at clubs in communal areas chatting to people. If they then go and play with someone else and don't invite you, sorry but that's just the way it is, happens to me and other women as well as men, do not follow them unless invited, it can be disheartening but you just have to deal with it I also get men like this- and when I laugh and mention that they haven’t even spoken to me, they walk away, then reappear and try again… same happens in socials though tbh. Men say nothing, yet message me after to hook up "Our the look at you & give you the head swipe to indicate, you coming, not even a word said. Just for clarity sake, the guy who touched me 3 times is a member & goes on a Friday night X | |||
"After my experience last night, everyone should be made to sign some agreement before even getting through the doors of the club. Zero tolerance. Turns out the law regarding unwanted sexual contact doesn't apply in a club. Some men need a serious word with themselves." We have seen so many threads about this kind of behaviour at this club and heard some real horror stories. I'm sure it happens at other clubs too but we can honestly say we have never seen it. The only slight issue we ever witnessed was a guy sneaking in to Townhouse and the staff could not have have spotted him and removed him any more rapidly! It should be absolutely zero tolerance in all clubs with lifetime bans for anyone overstepping the mark. | |||
"After my experience last night, everyone should be made to sign some agreement before even getting through the doors of the club. Zero tolerance. Turns out the law regarding unwanted sexual contact doesn't apply in a club. Some men need a serious word with themselves." I agree with the sentiment. Sadly, if they aren't going to comply with the law when it comes to consent, they probably won't make much notice of a disclaimer. Absolute degenerates | |||
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however, how will people know if they are not ?
I refer to my previous answer on No 7
A wealth of knowledge and experience
If they don’t want to take the advice then they are wasting their time and energy
Because no one is going to be interested | |||
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"If anyone need a personal bodyguard in the club for the night please do not hesitate to ask few of us are happy to do that looking at CJ WELSHORSE" Will help anyone out in anyone way I can ,from just showing people around, and hope making them feeling comfortable. | |||
"If anyone need a personal bodyguard in the club for the night please do not hesitate to ask few of us are happy to do that looking at CJ WELSHORSE" Will help anyone out in anyone way I can ,from just showing people around, and hope making them feeling comfortable. | |||
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