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Anyone no how to get over the love of your life
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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Ah sorry to hear that OP! You may always carry a love for her. But time will definitely help. Don't try to squash what you're feeling either! It's only natural to be hurting xx |
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By *9alMan 48 weeks ago
Bridgend |
"Just feels like I should be getting better at this point but it's getting worse never felt like this before with anyone else "
I have been divorced 10 years but still find I sometimes get reminded by something & feel upset & angry we all know that it would be better if we got over it but its not easy
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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Time. And lots of crying. Just let it out. Enjoy the parts you can on your own. This enjoyable times get longer and the hurting times shrink. Bit of banter and chat on here helps as well |
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Yeah, the easiest way to get over the lurve of your life is watch your bank balance increase on a monthly basis. Ever remembering that lurve, like fag packets should carry a written warning like, "Lurve can seriously damage your wealth." |
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By (user no longer on site) 48 weeks ago
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"I'd gladly give up everything for a second chance "
I'm just over a year into my break up & it's only now I can think about the good times & not get upset. Now when things remind me I can smile, no idea when things changed, it seemed to just happen. All you can do is feel the feelings & take the time it needs, but it will get easier X |
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"Supposedly it takes half the length of the time you were with someone to get over them. "
I never get over them because ex's are ex's for are reason, and as such I will never again get over them, under them, or any other position you care to name, or they will me. In the real world, if I'm not happy with the the way something is built, it's a case of tear it down and start again, and so it should be like that with failed relationships. Once humpty dumpty has had that great fall, all the kings horses and all the kings men won't put humpty together again, but new eggs are laid, and to be gathered in every day of the week, it's just a case of finding them. |
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Just be careful you are not idealising her and dreaming of a relationship together that might never have been. Don’t forget, you never lived together, and if you had it might not have worked out. So tell yourself you were lucky to have that time together and learn from the experience. Look to the future and stay optimistic you will be even happier when you finally find the one. |
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"Just be careful you are not idealising her and dreaming of a relationship together that might never have been. Don’t forget, you never lived together, and if you had it might not have worked out. So tell yourself you were lucky to have that time together and learn from the experience. Look to the future and stay optimistic you will be even happier when you finally find the one."
This is the BEST answer to the original post that I’ve read !!! |
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"Just be careful you are not idealising her and dreaming of a relationship together that might never have been. Don’t forget, you never lived together, and if you had it might not have worked out. So tell yourself you were lucky to have that time together and learn from the experience. Look to the future and stay optimistic you will be even happier when you finally find the one.
This is the BEST answer to the original post that I’ve read !!!"
Thanks that’s kind of you to say x |
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It's not easy when marriages or relationships break apart. Time is a healer and everyone heals at their own pace. On the other hand you might have dodged a bullit as later on and further in the relationship you might have found her to have been an awful partner. Give yourself time and get doing other things to distract your thoughts. Take care lovely. |
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There’s no set time for moving on from a relationship. It’s probably harder when it wasn’t your decision to break up. I was with the same guy for 20 years. We were married for 13 of those years and had three kids. He moved on within a few months but it took me a few years before I met anyone and even then I kept it casual.
Christmas is a difficult time to be on your own. There’ll be birthdays, anniversaries, places, songs, etc that may trigger a memory or a feeling and out of the blue you’ll be caught unaware. It’s a grieving process but people think you should be able to get over it quickly.
Try doing something new, a hobby or a sport and meet a different circle of friends. Hope the New Year brings you happier times. |
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I was with my ex for 23 years and was married for 16 of them it’s been over 2 years now and she moved on a month after I left which was hard to take but Iv been single and the only advice I would say is take the time to find yourself again, do things that make you happy and surround yourself with friends and family and don’t be afraid to talk to a professional if you are really struggling sometimes it’s good to talk to someone who will just listen to you. |
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I think you need to fix the title of your post, you can't be the judge of that until you have lived a full life - you could use "to date" and that will clear things up.
Ever had a favourite restaurant to only have it close down and when you try a new place you realise that this one is even better???
Life has a habit of putting you where you are supposed to be, that's either for learning, growth, to be humbled or to enjoy - the thing with hurt and missing someone is that it teaches you that next time you achieve the same position it will have greater appreciation to you, you will know how to handle it to progress.
I was once commented on by a friend that I always manage to deal with what life throws at me, he said I was the most adaptable person he had seen - what he was actually seeing was someone trying to cope with the cards he had been dealt and appreciating what that taught at each point.
I am now a few years separated/divorced and having 50/50 custody of my child - I have to see my ex every week and deal with all those thoughts and memories - initially it hurt and I was angry, then I was indifferent and now I am appreciative of what that relationship gave me - a beautiful daughter to whom I am a better dad and memories of what a (at times) good relationship looks like. When I make it to the next opportunity I will do it better and learn from mistakes and achievements.
You have to go through all the pain, tears, anger, confusion - the whole damn lot - but don't give up and definitely don't go backwards. |
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Took me well over 5 years. Depends on circumstances on the break up too. Sometimes it fizzles out and it's a mutual separation. Other times the plaster is quite literally ripped off and it's out of the blue. The latter I found difficult to accept and beat myself up terrible about what I had done wrong, what I could have done better etc. Time is a healer, it does get easier and you just have to learn to love yourself again. Take time for you, join a gym or go on group walks etc. Honestly you'll meet people that are just happy on their own in company with other good people. Best thing I did was shut down my social media and joined a local walking/cold water dip/ cycling group! There's amazing people out there just need to look in different places! |
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Totally agree with Ashley.
Book a trip to Pattaya or Vietnam with a male friend and make a proper beast of yourself while there. The memories of your ex will still be there but you will also have good new memories. Keep your brains in your head though! |
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It will take time to get over her. She obviously meant a lot to you. I used to see a guy who put his first wife on a pedestal and wouldn’t move on. It will make future relationships difficult as no one will be that person. |
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