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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all.
(Esp those I’ve met/come across previously)
Just an observation and one I’m sure that has been answered on many other occasions…
Why oh why is it so difficult for a single male profile to receive a response to a message; yet when in a couple’s profile, responses (no matter whether m,f, or mf) were always polite and would respond quite promptly?
I look back on the days whereby I (we) could arrange a meet within a moments notice, yet now as a single guy, messages are deleted without any response whatsoever?
Maybe the response rate was high previously because of the partner I was with, or that this is just the nature of the community … tougher as a single guy? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Always harder as a single male I’m afraid. Will depend as well really what is being said/ how it’s coming across.
We receive probably 50 single guy messages for every couples message that we get"
I’ve always maintained a professional and polite approach to messaging - did then, do now. Nice to know the approx ratio of m/couples messages. Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I found and still find it difficult as a single male profile. As said I think it’s purely a volume / statistics thing.
2 female friends on here had between them over 700 messages in their inbox on the same day? It would be logistically impossible to reply to all.
I’ve taken their advice, especially as my profile is relatively newb and am making the effort to go to as many socials as possible to get my face and personality known by a few people?
And I never take it personally if I don’t get a reply to a message.
I would find it interesting what established fems and couples use as criteria (or advice / suggestions) especially in the subject line that they look for?
The best advice I’ve been given so far is be polite but also include something that shows you have read someone’s profile? |
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It's purely a numbers thing.
Lots of messages from single guys and to have a conversation with everybody would almost make Fab a full time job.
Before opening a message we'll have a quick look at the profile to see if it looks interesting. |
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Your profile is only a few weeks old (obviously you’ve explained the circumstances) and you’ve not been verified by anyone yet as a result. So that may put some people off.
Get yourself to an organised social and you’ll be grand. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your profile is only a few weeks old (obviously you’ve explained the circumstances) and you’ve not been verified by anyone yet as a result. So that may put some people off.
Get yourself to an organised social and you’ll be grand. X"
Thank you - again, the advice very much appreciated x |
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By *antasycouple31Couple
over a year ago
Between Pontarddulias and Gorseinon |
"
I would find it interesting what established fems and couples use as criteria (or advice / suggestions) especially in the subject line that they look for?
The best advice I’ve been given so far is be polite but also include something that shows you have read someone’s profile? "
So I (male) generally filter through messages as I browse on here far more than my other half does (she maybe logs in once a fortnight if that) to reduce the number of messages as she finds it overwhelming.
Generally, if you’re out of age range, just cock pics in your profile (including your profile/ first pic) and no verifications it’s an instant delete. If you try to add as a friend without talking first, generally this would be a block (not read our profile).
If you have face pics or share face pics you are more likely to get a reply, however sharing a face pic and ‘is your wife free tonight’ is just a delete and potential block.
As you noted message should show you have read the profile, and it helps if the first few lines of your message indicate this, I.e if you start saying ‘i love your pictures’ well loads of people say that and it’s just generic in the message summary, you need something unique in those first few words of text to get someone to open your message ahead of the others!
If you’re messaging a couple remember you’re talking to a couple. Any message that assumes I don’t exist is deleted or I play awkwardly along until they realise they arnt talking to the same ‘sexy ass’ that they thought they were ha ha (our profile says I do most the messaging, so again their error not reading it).
We read profiles in detail before replying so make an effort in what’s being said and consider your photos for the audience.
Our profile includes something that would get a reply. Unfortunately only one couple so far picked up on that, but my wife knew them outside of Fab and was too nervous for us to reply to someone she knew lol. |
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By *coutDWoman
over a year ago
Pontypridd |
"Hi all.
(Esp those I’ve met/come across previously)
Just an observation and one I’m sure that has been answered on many other occasions…
Why oh why is it so difficult for a single male profile to receive a response to a message; yet when in a couple’s profile, responses (no matter whether m,f, or mf) were always polite and would respond quite promptly?
I look back on the days whereby I (we) could arrange a meet within a moments notice, yet now as a single guy, messages are deleted without any response whatsoever?
Maybe the response rate was high previously because of the partner I was with, or that this is just the nature of the community … tougher as a single guy?"
I’d agree with the advice that you’ve already had. As for first message; I’m probably a nightmare myself because I can’t say what works but I sure as hell know what doesn’t very quickly when I see it. One thing i do notice is if ever people slip up they are don’t like to say sorry and will list 10 reasons why they did it their way. Great for them but without trust and respect most of us will say goodbye swiftly. Or just not reply.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I would find it interesting what established fems and couples use as criteria (or advice / suggestions) especially in the subject line that they look for?
The best advice I’ve been given so far is be polite but also include something that shows you have read someone’s profile?
So I (male) generally filter through messages as I browse on here far more than my other half does (she maybe logs in once a fortnight if that) to reduce the number of messages as she finds it overwhelming.
Generally, if you’re out of age range, just cock pics in your profile (including your profile/ first pic) and no verifications it’s an instant delete. If you try to add as a friend without talking first, generally this would be a block (not read our profile).
If you have face pics or share face pics you are more likely to get a reply, however sharing a face pic and ‘is your wife free tonight’ is just a delete and potential block.
As you noted message should show you have read the profile, and it helps if the first few lines of your message indicate this, I.e if you start saying ‘i love your pictures’ well loads of people say that and it’s just generic in the message summary, you need something unique in those first few words of text to get someone to open your message ahead of the others!
If you’re messaging a couple remember you’re talking to a couple. Any message that assumes I don’t exist is deleted or I play awkwardly along until they realise they arnt talking to the same ‘sexy ass’ that they thought they were ha ha (our profile says I do most the messaging, so again their error not reading it).
We read profiles in detail before replying so make an effort in what’s being said and consider your photos for the audience.
Our profile includes something that would get a reply. Unfortunately only one couple so far picked up on that, but my wife knew them outside of Fab and was too nervous for us to reply to someone she knew lol. "
Thank you.
A few things here .. given I’ve been there, done that, I always aim my message at both couples .. in fact, out of respect to the m in the first instance.
It’s abundantly obvious that it’s really twice (if not more) difficult for a “genuine” single guy to get the recognition.
2 things that to take away … Attend some socials and … keep trying 
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi all.
(Esp those I’ve met/come across previously)
Just an observation and one I’m sure that has been answered on many other occasions…
Why oh why is it so difficult for a single male profile to receive a response to a message; yet when in a couple’s profile, responses (no matter whether m,f, or mf) were always polite and would respond quite promptly?
I look back on the days whereby I (we) could arrange a meet within a moments notice, yet now as a single guy, messages are deleted without any response whatsoever?
Maybe the response rate was high previously because of the partner I was with, or that this is just the nature of the community … tougher as a single guy?
I’d agree with the advice that you’ve already had. As for first message; I’m probably a nightmare myself because I can’t say what works but I sure as hell know what doesn’t very quickly when I see it. One thing i do notice is if ever people slip up they are don’t like to say sorry and will list 10 reasons why they did it their way. Great for them but without trust and respect most of us will say goodbye swiftly. Or just not reply.
"
Surely shouldn’t be a reason to say sorry in the first place .. should know if out of place : x |
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"Hi all.
(Esp those I’ve met/come across previously)
Just an observation and one I’m sure that has been answered on many other occasions…
Why oh why is it so difficult for a single male profile to receive a response to a message; yet when in a couple’s profile, responses (no matter whether m,f, or mf) were always polite and would respond quite promptly?
We both answer all messages and answer respectfully even to single guys it’s common courtesy and we do use the block button if someone is disrespectful thankfully we haven’t had to Block many.
I look back on the days whereby I (we) could arrange a meet within a moments notice, yet now as a single guy, messages are deleted without any response whatsoever?
Maybe the response rate was high previously because of the partner I was with, or that this is just the nature of the community … tougher as a single guy?"
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