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Club advice for single guys

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By *heoriginalCJ OP   Man  over a year ago

mystic valley

I thought it might be useful to give you fellas some tips on club etiquette.

This is based on my many years of attending clubs and YOU GUYS NEED TO READ THIS !

Firstly, congratulations on making the big step to the wonderful world of swinging clubs. They are a lot of fun but don't be fooled, sex is not guaranteed especially for single guys and unless you want to be banned RESPECT IS KEY.

1. NO TOUCHING!!! This may sound stupid but hear me out. Clubs are designed for like minded people in the lifestyle to meet up and socialise in a safe environment. Unless you are given permission, DONT TOUCH anyone. It may seem inviting when a couple are going at it right next to you but always ask permission first. If they say yes, good effort but remember to be respectful. Don't do a Trump and grab her by the pussy unless you want a few missing teeth after. Just like day to day life, CONSENT IS REQUIRED, just because its in a club doesn't mean it isn't the real word. Respect everyone.

2. BOUNDARIES!!! We all get a bit lost in the moment sometimes but defining clear boundaries is the best way to have a good time. Ask what each other like, dislike or want to try. If it ain't on the happy list, don't do it. Once again it is all about consent, ensure that if you are gonna try doing something new, that everyone is happy with it. If not, move on.

3. DOORS!!! Bit of a random one this but alot of guys seem to forget it. If you are doing the rounds and seeing what is about and you see a closed door... leave it. Doors are a way of invitation. If a door is closed it means the people in it want to be left alone. Don't try and break it down. If a door is open, that is usually an indication that they are inviting people to join in or watch. If that's the case, refer to my previous 2 steps. If you do happen to enter a room with people playing, be respectful. Some couples love being watched and will be putting on a show for you but always ask permission first.

4. COHERENCE!!! Need abit of Dutch courage to go into a club? That's fine, but necking a bottle of vodka isn't going to help you. If you are going to drink before hand just remember that although you may seem fine, other people may perceive you differently. Also you want to be able to remember all the lovely people you meet so sometimes less is more. Trust me when I say that no-one is impressed by your 12 pints and still get a hard on routine.

5.HYGEINE!!! Make sure your hygiene is on top form Lads, no lady wants a smelly cock waved in their faces let alone in their mouth. Make sure you wash before and after any activities. Their are showers everywhere in clubs for this exact reason.

6.CONDOMS!!! Most places sell them for dirt cheap, if you are going to play with new people, ask them if they play safe, if it's a yes then chuck a pillow case on regardless of "whether or not you like them." This is about keeping people safe and ensuring that the fun can continue.

7.INTERACTION please, please, please, talk to people! There is nothing worse than a single guy wandering the club who doesn't talk to anyone and then expects to get intimate when things are happening in an open room.

Don't be one of the wanking dead, be brave and talk to people. We are all there for the same lifestyle, so why not talk about it to others ?

Most importantly remember that Swinging Clubs are not "fuck me now" clubs. They are by design there for people to meet, socialise and be safe. Playing is an added bonus. Be respectful to each other and you are more likely to be invited to a room.

Now, go to the club, have a great time, and always help others who are new

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By *ethnmelvCouple  over a year ago

Cardiff

Great advice

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By *heoriginalCJ OP   Man  over a year ago

mystic valley

bump

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By *hiny-SinnersCouple  over a year ago

Vale of Glamorgan

Well said.

Two small additional things.

Guys don’t invade people’s space by hovering inches from them, just because you are not making physical contact does not mean you aren’t making people feel uncomfortable. The same goes for relentless staring at a person or couple.

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By *pforanything121Man  over a year ago

castleford

I didn’t see this until just now, I created a new thread asking for advice and now this is what I really needed to know, honestly thank you for this. You’ve made me feel brave enough to go to one now. Not as scary as I actually thought it might be. Again cheers

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By *affaandtaffyCouple  over a year ago

Barry

Great advice CJ.

We have been on the end of some unsolicited touching and it makes my blood boil...

By men, women and transgenders

So I would reinforce that if you chance your arm at the very least you will be reported and likely barred. At the worst you'll get a slap.

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By *avesax2Man  over a year ago

Cardiff

Thanks for that advice im going to my 1st event on the 22nd in Grantham and was wondering about the do and don'ts xxf

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Quick question off the back of this post - is there normally a dress code, or is that club dependant? I'm assuming "dress to impress" is a given, but wondered how strict these places are...?

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By *leasure-QueenWoman  over a year ago

The twilight zone


"Quick question off the back of this post - is there normally a dress code, or is that club dependant? I'm assuming "dress to impress" is a given, but wondered how strict these places are...?"

Hiya, Chameleons is a dress down club. The club encourages individualism and people can wear what they want as long as it’s “dress down”. That means no jeans/trousers and tops ect.

Men usually wear shorts/boxers or a towel provided by the club.

Alternatively, ladies wear lingerie, sexy dresses or a towel.

Hope this helps

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By *affaandtaffyCouple  over a year ago

Barry

So..

As mentioned above this isn't just a single guy thing. Hope the OP doesn't mind us broadening this thread.

So, we were in Chams last night. Playing lightly in the couples room and another couple come in. We have a chat about soft swing etc and we make it clear that for us that means NO CONTACT.

Saffa and I continue to play and we're enjoying ourselves when the guy of the couple decides to reach over and caress/tickle Saffas foot.

My immediate reaction is wtf do you think you are doing? Whereupon he stops.

I'm livid so then say that he needs to learn some club etiquette and realise that a club is no different to being outside in vanilla life

To which he replied... ' Well people touch me without asking all the time'

Red rag to a bull I threatened to hit him through the wall..but didn't (laughing about it now) and we left.

So for me/us, no touching means exactly that, whether it's a grope of the tits or a caress of a foot, arm or whatever.

Very interested in what others think as some seem to think this kind of behaviour is acceptable.

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By *ory_xWoman  over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way Syndey

No touch until consent is asked and granted.

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By *ustCandiceCouple  over a year ago

Llantwit major

Totally agree with all of this

As a T-girl I often find that in clubs men are a lot more forward/handsy that they might be otherwise.

It's really not a nice feeling so I totally get how anyone would be uncomfortable

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By *ory_xWoman  over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way Syndey

Bump

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By *heoriginalCJ OP   Man  over a year ago

mystic valley

Bump

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By *aarv80Man  over a year ago

Crumlin

Tbh, even before seeing this post I would have acted this way regardless... But it's good to know in advance anyway for when I do get brave enough to solo a club event. Thank you OP

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By *unnybunsWoman  over a year ago

Between here and over there

Well written post by the king of swing 3 you CJ

Would like to add, as it’s happened to me….. the same applies in parties! Do not touch unless you have been told you can!

To all: do what makes you feel comfortable, don’t be afraid to say no and if it’s not taken on board speak to someone either the host or venue.

Happy swinging you beautiful bunch

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By *aigressMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

Pointed towards this as I asked the question

Great summary OP

I'd like to think most of it is basic manners and courtesy.

That said anything that helps keep things safe, respectful and fun. Is a good thing

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By *heoriginalCJ OP   Man 45 weeks ago

mystic valley

bumping this up for anyone new going to the BBW event Friday

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By *mber SkiesWoman 45 weeks ago

Cwmderi

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