FabSwingers.com > Forums > Wales > And the award for best opening message goes to….
And the award for best opening message goes to….
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was single on here, a guy messaged and asked if I would go over, give him a blowjob while his dog fucked me!
Needless to say he was reported and blocked! Lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We've had a guy ask if he could come and 'clean up' after we've had sex.. told him where we keep the hoover and dusters, didn't hear from him again.. "
Haha |
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"“I'd love to use a carrot as a dildo up your arse xxx”
I’d love to hear all the cracking lines you’ve all had. This place never fails to amaze me!! "
Should of asked if the carrot was from the wonky veg range  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""I want to piss in your ass and shove in a butt plug. Then fuck you so hard the butt plug shoots out and piss everywhere"
Wtf like  "
I’ve had the piss in my ass thing before. You win there though!!!  |
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""I want to piss in your ass and shove in a butt plug. Then fuck you so hard the butt plug shoots out and piss everywhere"
Wtf like "
10/10 for imagination like, but what kinda diseased brain thinks that shit up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I had one once where he asked me to go out with him wearing a plaster cast. He had a fetish for ‘ cast play ‘ apparently.
Get a lot of breast feeding messages too. |
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Omg where do we star?! Haha
Can you use me as a table and hubby fuck you on me?
(A couple) do you fancy role play and you guys can be our step parents!!
Do you enjoy period sex?
We could write a book of bizarre one liners!
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By *o againTV/TS
over a year ago
swansea |
"Just had this
Wow love to get my throbbing cock in your sexy body and cum over them lushx tits x"
Dear lord. I cant believe men think they are gonna get laid with that approach.
Or do they?
God I'm old fashion then.
Jo xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The old classic of a bloke messaging me asking if I wanted to watch him fuck himself up the arse with a toilet brush. I asked him which end? I told me I could choose. I passed.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The old classic of a bloke messaging me asking if I wanted to watch him fuck himself up the arse with a toilet brush. I asked him which end? I told me I could choose. I passed.... "
Smithy? |
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By *an1978Woman
over a year ago
GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please) |
I'm probably boring, the ones offering free drugs for sex are disturbing. I would hope nobody ever accepts.
Or one that on the first message asking if he could come round and have sex with me on my period. |
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Top 3 which stick in my mind for being most disturbing;
Will you shit in my mouth
If I was rimming you and you needed a wet fart would you do it in my mouth
You got the type of body which only deserves to be beaten black and blue |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh and another one. Guy had a breeding fetish but his partner didn’t want kids apparently. So Could he get me pregnant and have me as his secret family…he promised to pay child maintenance "
Sounds like a keeper |
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"The old classic of a bloke messaging me asking if I wanted to watch him fuck himself up the arse with a toilet brush. I asked him which end? I told me I could choose. I passed.... "
You coward, should have asked just for shits and giggles  |
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"The old classic of a bloke messaging me asking if I wanted to watch him fuck himself up the arse with a toilet brush. I asked him which end? I told me I could choose. I passed....
You coward, should have asked just for shits and giggles "
 touché |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some absolute pearlers! Jesus you just think sometimes what goes on in people’s heads.
I dunno! You can give sone of these a run for their money  "
Wow now dora! Nothing wrong with sex wearing a backpack  |
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I recently had a guy send a message pretty much saying ( begging)..I KNOW YOU ARE STRAIGHT BUT CAN I COME OVER YOU WANK AND CUM IN MY MOUTH I won't touch you promise.
I was like dude seriously ffsakes |
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By *ory_xWoman
over a year ago
42 Wallaby Way Syndey |
Just had....
Hi I would love to suck them titles and pussy everyday just to taste all your sweet come all over me face in the night I would fuck the shit out of your sweet pussy ?? ?? ?? make it jump your very beautiful woman |
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By *o againTV/TS
over a year ago
swansea |
"Just had....
Hi I would love to suck them titles and pussy everyday just to taste all your sweet come all over me face in the night I would fuck the shit out of your sweet pussy ?? ?? ?? make it jump your very beautiful woman"
Now that a offer you cant refuse!! Lol |
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By *ory_xWoman
over a year ago
42 Wallaby Way Syndey |
And another copy and paste message this time from London
Hey x I own a coffee shop situated inside a train station . As there are strikes today work is very quiet and I’m soon to close up .
What people don’t no is once these shutters are down the coffee man becomes EXTREMELY naughty lol
Are you currently free to let me watch your eyes watch my throbbing cock as I stroke and play with it whilst my shutters are down |
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I have had many guys ask to suck my cock discreetly despite my profile clearly stating that I am straight. Some of them have couple profiles. I have had to tell a guy that many gay and bi guys that I know are not dickheads so he should please not give the community a bad name. He messaged me again hoping I would change my mind so I added him to my block list. That said I have also had one or two instances where my opening line was not stellar and promptly apologised for the error of judgement. Considering that I always give a benefit of doubt that you won’t get it right all the time but being a persistent twat is the height for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And another copy and paste message this time from London
Hey x I own a coffee shop situated inside a train station . As there are strikes today work is very quiet and I’m soon to close up .
What people don’t no is once these shutters are down the coffee man becomes EXTREMELY naughty lol
Are you currently free to let me watch your eyes watch my throbbing cock as I stroke and play with it whilst my shutters are down"
I blocked this guy yesterday! |
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"The old classic of a bloke messaging me asking if I wanted to watch him fuck himself up the arse with a toilet brush. I asked him which end? I told me I could choose. I passed.... "
I know a radiographer who had to X-ray a guy with a bog brush up his arse…..fell on it would you believe! |
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Two I had in response to forum threads I started.
Kiss ,shag, smother in chocolate and lick it off. A message from a profile i had never looked at from the South of England.
"NONE"
Kiss Cuddle or Torture.
Again a profile from England I had never looked at.
"Torture"
When I asked why they replied
"It's thr only option thay guarantees we wouldn't have to physically touch you.
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The best we've ever had from someone in.dubai
"You invite me over. I arrive at yours and thr cuck will.open the door and invite me in. From that moment you will bith only say yes sir and thank you sir.
The cuck will walk me into the living room where your wife will be on her knees waiting for her master dolled up in heels and her toys laid out on a table for me to use, she might own her cuck but she will show him how submissive she can be with the right man"
It was that memorable we had to screenshot and keep for the occasional laugh
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By *onwelshMan
over a year ago
Where the Dragons Live |
I know you are straight, but wondering if you would like to sit back and let me rim your ass then milk you dry until you are bucking with pleasure.
Close your eyes and imagine im Angelina Jolie
Haha. Wtf mind |
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By *ory_xWoman
over a year ago
42 Wallaby Way Syndey |
Uhhh, right, just thinking up something very offensive. Em, right, I know just the thing, I'll send a cock pic! It's fully erect here and VERY red at the top, highly inappropriate for a first message, right.
At least I'm amusing myself...
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