FabSwingers.com > Forums > Wales > Struggling with the site
Struggling with the site
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Is it just me or has it gotten worse?
I have been on this site on and off 10 years, and lately the amount of abuse I get is I don’t answer a message straight away
Got called some vile names last night because I didn’t answer straight away.
Yes I know it’s polite to answer even if it’s saying no, but no one is owed a response.
Sometimes I forget to answer as I go off my phone then come back..
I know there is genuine men on here but lately just seems it’s men demanding a hook up
Or could just be me |
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I’m fairly new to the site less than a year, but find it difficult to comprehend why men don’t just be polite and respectful to the ladies and couples on here. A reply isn’t a god given right, it’s a welcome surprise and if it’s a no then it’s a no as it should be in any encounter!
Perhaps I'm out of touch and this is just me being old fashioned? |
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"Is it just me or has it gotten worse?
I have been on this site on and off 10 years, and lately the amount of abuse I get is I don’t answer a message straight away
Got called some vile names last night because I didn’t answer straight away.
Yes I know it’s polite to answer even if it’s saying no, but no one is owed a response.
Sometimes I forget to answer as I go off my phone then come back..
I know there is genuine men on here but lately just seems it’s men demanding a hook up
Or could just be me "
I do feel for you as this site seems to have become a sausage fest. I imagine you ladies get hounded by alot of self entitled divvys.
You owe them nothing, if they send you a message and you dont reply then you obviously arent interested. I hope things improve for you as not all guys are like that, take care x |
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If I'm not interested in meeting someone I delete the message without a reply, if they keep sending messages I just block them. I very very rarely get abuse on here but I'm very quick on the block button 
I've been on and off here for a while and it's definitely a lot different now.. I dont enjoy it as much as I used to but filters and blocking helps  |
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By *hiversMan
over a year ago
Dinas Powys |
"If I'm not interested in meeting someone I delete the message without a reply, if they keep sending messages I just block them. I very very rarely get abuse on here but I'm very quick on the block button
I've been on and off here for a while and it's definitely a lot different now.. I dont enjoy it as much as I used to but filters and blocking helps "
Definitely second this. Don't be afraid to block - as was mentioned earlier in the thread no one is automatically entitled to a reply.
That said, there are some good folks on here as well as the bad 'uns. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have to say i left 2yrs ago because i let the nonsense on here get to me, when really it wasnt necessary. Ive come back with the attitude of, so long as you have and stick to your own Standards, then your sound. Stick to those who have same or similar standards n just block or ignore those who dont have any standards, manners or are just plain rude. |
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By *ory_xWoman
over a year ago
42 Wallaby Way Syndey |
I've stopped replying with no thank you due to the abusive names and messages I've received. Now if they don't read my profile I don't read their message at all. Saved me some grief but some men have still messaged me abuse after I ignored them. My block list is huge.
Sorry that you've been subjected to the abuse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just me or has it gotten worse?
I have been on this site on and off 10 years, and lately the amount of abuse I get is I don’t answer a message straight away
Got called some vile names last night because I didn’t answer straight away.
Yes I know it’s polite to answer even if it’s saying no, but no one is owed a response.
Sometimes I forget to answer as I go off my phone then come back..
I know there is genuine men on here but lately just seems it’s men demanding a hook up
Or could just be me "
Totally get what you are saying a lot of gobshite single blokes spoiling it for the genuine ones, makes it so hard for everyone |
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Does cross our mind to go towards one of the more premium sites. Yes they cost but everyone HAS to pay so figure there would likely be fewer time wasters.
Only thing is there never seem to be many members from south Wales, more oriented to London and south east.
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"Only thing is there never seem to be many members from south Wales, more oriented to London and south east.
"
Is that because that's where the richer people live? . Disposable incomes and all that...
(not having a dig at anyone, but house prices are way more expensive there  ).
But yeah, since Fab has become 'mainstream' it has attracted a lot of people who just want sex without the pre-requisites of decency, manners, humility, ability to hold a conversation (he says ironically ) and people who think it is a communal dipping pot of something or other that they can dunk their 'chips' into at a shared table....  .
Fab is just a portal. There are a lot of people who get what they want without adhering to my next statement, but....
Socials and clubs are the best way forward. Meet people in the flesh in a safe environment and you can be your own judge  .
-Lord. |
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"Only thing is there never seem to be many members from south Wales, more oriented to London and south east.
Is that because that's where the richer people live? . Disposable incomes and all that...
(not having a dig at anyone, but house prices are way more expensive there ).
But yeah, since Fab has become 'mainstream' it has attracted a lot of people who just want sex without the pre-requisites of decency, manners, humility, ability to hold a conversation (he says ironically ) and people who think it is a communal dipping pot of something or other that they can dunk their 'chips' into at a shared table.... .
Fab is just a portal. There are a lot of people who get what they want without adhering to my next statement, but....
Socials and clubs are the best way forward. Meet people in the flesh in a safe environment and you can be your own judge .
-Lord. "
Can’t disagree with anything you said  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im pretty new to the site but all i keep hearing is about the abuse women are getting on here, ffs guys get a grip grow a set balls and fuck off. If you don't get a reply take the fucking hate stop being so desperate your giving the rest of us a bad rep |
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Been on fab on/off for 20+ years - as with anything that ages and becomes more known it is open to all the ills of society - at the start of my membership it felt like a community (have been on here in 3 different areas of UK) and people communicated more - the chat rooms etc - so when a spark occured it then went on to private messages - nowadays it just seems to have an edge - and the expectations of immediate replies etc just suck the enjoyment out. I would love to say that these things go in cycles - but the replenishment of fresh shaggers not swingers means there is no let up for the ones that stick to stick alone - too many people seem to be forced out with the admin and constant barrage.
As other say the block button is king - and if not for someone would happily accept the no - and move on - and if they wish to block to keep clean - understand that (but do miss their content lol) don't let people get to the abuse stage block and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even when you say no thank you they keep on them call you names
Such a shame as I felt this site was a safe space "
I discovered years ago having chatted and met a couple on here that fab is anything other than a safe space. It should be fun but it is a literal minefield |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People these days don't seem to like to hear the word NO they think any woman is beneath them and some how by telling you your this that and the other will make you think he's right I can't do better than this god like man I must run to him
Others can't have a woman reject them so they pretend they aren't interested they were doing you a favour
Gone are the days of politeness and understanding |
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By *olf and RedCouple
over a year ago
Nr Cardiff or at Chams Darlaston |
It has definitely changed, there are a lot more single men who don’t understand what swinging is. We’ve had rude messages and difficult situations too. Although I feel like post Covid the world is a less tolerant place anyway.
Having said that, the good outweighs the bad still.
OP use your filters to your advantage.
Red |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I showed a male friend from here a few of the messages I received and he was shocked that anyone would send messages like that.
I would say on average only 1 in 10 messages I receive are polite and respectful.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can only imagine some of the messages women get from some men on here.
On the flip side, the number of couples/women who state specific requirements on their profile such as “will only respond to messages with a face pic” yet still don’t reply when you follow those requirements is unbelievable.
Or if you do get a reply the ghosting that happens mid conversation is unreal.
And whilst I’m on my soap box lol….what’s with status’s that ask who’s available at 9pm tomorrow to accommodate (just a random example) and yet just delete or not reply to messages that are specific to that status 
Guess I’m trying to say it’s not just the single guys on here, there’s plenty of single women/couples who are time wasters too |
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