Fab isn't exactly the best place to get life affirming advice. It does offer a kaleidoscope of views on the many different things that can affect us however. No one opinion is more right than any given other.
That said.
When your life is comfortable, you have a good job, a good managable income, a friendship circle that happened because life was comfortable and you could participate. What happens if you cannot say life is comfortable any more?
Opinions on a post card please  |
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"Hopefully your family or true freinds support you guide you and make sure you dont sink and keep your head up. Turn the negative into positve.  "
True friends are hard to find. But you are absolutely correct  . |
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"If life isn't comfortable any more you need to establish why this is and look for ways to get comfortable again. You need a plan"
Some things come up unexpectedly. I was just curious how people handle those sudden shifts.
I don't do change well. I pout, I strop, I want equilibrium. I want things to be like they were, like how I made them comfortable. When people change stuff, I get all angsty.....
Just curious. How do people deal with their pattern changing. I might learn something  . |
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"You sound like you be on the spectrum dude, high functioning but still, knowing and understanding yourself is key x"
It's an opinion I'm open to. I just don't do well when my life routine changes. How people deal with it for them is why I asked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You sound like you be on the spectrum dude, high functioning but still, knowing and understanding yourself is key x"
Nothing wrong with the Spectrum having been diagnosed with Aspergers & now ADHD; at 60 ffs I totally get where LM is coming from & knowing yourself makes little difference. I don't tolerate change but as someone commented above in time you learn to flip it & I think it's that which LM hasn't had time to learn. Knowing LM the way I do, he'll ask a million questions, seek a million views and consider every conceivable option before slowly coming to terms with the need to make changes. Then he'll seek further views about how to make that change.
LM you will survive  |
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"You sound like you be on the spectrum dude, high functioning but still, knowing and understanding yourself is key x
Nothing wrong with the Spectrum having been diagnosed with Aspergers & now ADHD; at 60 ffs I totally get where LM is coming from & knowing yourself makes little difference. I don't tolerate change but as someone commented above in time you learn to flip it & I think it's that which LM hasn't had time to learn. Knowing LM the way I do, he'll ask a million questions, seek a million views and consider every conceivable option before slowly coming to terms with the need to make changes. Then he'll seek further views about how to make that change.
LM you will survive "
The never-ending flow chart of a zillion possible outcomes will never end.
But I asked for people to comment. Helpful/constructive comments from random people I have never met can be useful. Maybe I do need to stop worrying so much. Maybe I have been lucky until now. Maybe I am actually just a twat. If I don't ask, I don't get told. I am supposed to be pretending to be a part of normal society after all.
Not looking for any other rationale. When shizzle changes from the usual, how do others deal with it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Change can happen for a many number of reasons, for example a lot of us will have experienced much change during the past two and a half years during the pandemic.
For me, it was the transition of moving from going to work, to working from home.
I struggled for quite a while not being around people, but for me, building in small key changes to adapt and make things comfortable for me again was paramount.
Part of that was reframing my thinking, telling myself this won't be forever, it is temporary, figuring out what was really bothering me about the change, and reworking in my mind what I could implement to feel better about it.
Secondly, communicate, communicate, communicate.
Talk to those around you, reach out, and yes, be vulnerable, but open to listening, and often your answers will come.
Take time to reflect and reassess any small changes you make for yourself.
Do you still feel the same as you did, or can more changes be made to help.
It's a cycle, some reach their comfortable, happy place quicker than others, some take longer to adapt, does not make it wrong.
Do what is best for you. good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Won't be much help, but as I've gotten older I've just learnt to go with the flow. Used to be that I needed routine ( still do to a point but not as bad ) and if that was interrupted or changed then it would spin me out. At times of massive change though ( my divorce and losing everything being one ) it was my friends that held me together and got me back on track and I will always be grateful for them. But as I said, the older I've got it just doesn't affect me the same way anymore and I now take everything in my stride. I still don't like it but I deal with it in a different way. |
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"Change can happen for a many number of reasons, for example a lot of us will have experienced much change during the past two and a half years during the pandemic.
For me, it was the transition of moving from going to work, to working from home.
I struggled for quite a while not being around people, but for me, building in small key changes to adapt and make things comfortable for me again was paramount.
Part of that was reframing my thinking, telling myself this won't be forever, it is temporary, figuring out what was really bothering me about the change, and reworking in my mind what I could implement to feel better about it.
Secondly, communicate, communicate, communicate.
Talk to those around you, reach out, and yes, be vulnerable, but open to listening, and often your answers will come.
Take time to reflect and reassess any small changes you make for yourself.
Do you still feel the same as you did, or can more changes be made to help.
It's a cycle, some reach their comfortable, happy place quicker than others, some take longer to adapt, does not make it wrong.
Do what is best for you. good luck "
A brilliant, insightful comment. Thank you . |
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"Won't be much help, but as I've gotten older I've just learnt to go with the flow. Used to be that I needed routine ( still do to a point but not as bad ) and if that was interrupted or changed then it would spin me out. At times of massive change though ( my divorce and losing everything being one ) it was my friends that held me together and got me back on track and I will always be grateful for them. But as I said, the older I've got it just doesn't affect me the same way anymore and I now take everything in my stride. I still don't like it but I deal with it in a different way. "
It's nice to read other people's perspectives. It was helpful for me to read. Thank you . |
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By *itenDaysCouple
over a year ago
Vale of Glamorgan |
Change is inevitable. The only thing we can do is accept that things have changed. Once you have accepted the change look how to turn that change into a way that you deal with it in your life. Some changes are good even if you don’t think so at the time. So changes are bad and it’s these ones that take a little longer to accept and deal with. It’s how I try and deal with changes, not for everyone I know. Hope this helps x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am not good with change it throws me out of routine which a Taurus hates.
I need a lot of time to prepare for any change.
Having a good support network of friends helps so much though. You got my number whenever you need to talk x |
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Change is inevitable, just ask yourself could you really control it? If you couldn't accept it, and embrace it. If you could control it think about what you can do differently in the future or how you can influence that change to return it to where it was. I guess I cope by being humble don't know everything, not always right, the best ideas are the ones you've not thought of yet. |
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