FabSwingers.com > Forums > Wales > Nasty Meeting
Nasty Meeting
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I know we can't name and shame but just had a very nasty meeting with a local single guy. Fortunately my rule of having hubby around for a first meet proved sensible and kept me safe.
Came away bitten, bruised and rather shaken from the threats of what he wanted to do to me at a future meeting. When I called a halt to the meeting, having Hubby there meant I felt safe in making it stop and his high level of aggression ended knowing he was downstairs. He went from zero to 100 in a few minutes...and then back to zero!!
Reported him to Admin and hope they ban him, nothing stopping him rejoining though.
Didn't tell Hubby until we got home otherwise he would have beaten the crap out of him....he is fuming!!
Don't think I will meet any man alone again.....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely disgusting!
I hope he gets banned and please share his username with anyone who messages you privately.
Please keep the faith that there are genuine respectful males on here. |
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I have calmed down a little now......Hubby is the issue.  He feels really guilty about being downstairs while it was happening not realising what was going on.
I am just glad we got out and home before he found out.....  |
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By *9alMan
over a year ago
Bridgend |
"I have calmed down a little now......Hubby is the issue. He feels really guilty about being downstairs while it was happening not realising what was going on.
I am just glad we got out and home before he found out..... "
probably safer to have same room fun until you feel you can trust someone |
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"I know we can't name and shame but just had a very nasty meeting with a local single guy. Fortunately my rule of having hubby around for a first meet proved sensible and kept me safe.
Came away bitten, bruised and rather shaken from the threats of what he wanted to do to me at a future meeting. When I called a halt to the meeting, having Hubby there meant I felt safe in making it stop and his high level of aggression ended knowing he was downstairs. He went from zero to 100 in a few minutes...and then back to zero!!
Reported him to Admin and hope they ban him, nothing stopping him rejoining though.
Didn't tell Hubby until we got home otherwise he would have beaten the crap out of him....he is fuming!!
Don't think I will meet any man alone again..... "
My god..that truly is disgusting and I sincerely hope you are ok...and your hubby is too!! Big hugs to you both!! |
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To the two men whining that this makes it “worse for the good guys” - get some perspective. A woman has been assaulted and all you can think about is whether it’ll make it harder for you to get meets? Can you see the problem with that attitude?
OP, I’m sorry this happened to you, and I’m very glad you got away before it got worse. Please remember neither of you is to blame, and look after each other while you get over the shock. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's really scary! Hope you can recover from such a traumatic experience. No person should ever go through that situation.
Thank you for the warning.
Every meet I have had I have always told a close friend the person's Fab name, location of meet and time. Just as a precaution. Glad you had your husband near at the time x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To the two men whining that this makes it “worse for the good guys” - get some perspective. A woman has been assaulted and all you can think about is whether it’ll make it harder for you to get meets? Can you see the problem with that attitude?
OP, I’m sorry this happened to you, and I’m very glad you got away before it got worse. Please remember neither of you is to blame, and look after each other while you get over the shock."
Fact - 1 - I was not whining one bit just showing an opinion. (Obviously not allowed on here anymore).
Fact - 2 - That opinion did not have any attitude attached to it at all.
Fact - 3 - Assumptions are the mother of all fuckups. |
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"To the two men whining that this makes it “worse for the good guys” - get some perspective. A woman has been assaulted and all you can think about is whether it’ll make it harder for you to get meets? Can you see the problem with that attitude?
OP, I’m sorry this happened to you, and I’m very glad you got away before it got worse. Please remember neither of you is to blame, and look after each other while you get over the shock.
Fact - 1 - I was not whining one bit just showing an opinion. (Obviously not allowed on here anymore).
Fact - 2 - That opinion did not have any attitude attached to it at all.
Fact - 3 - Assumptions are the mother of all fuckups. "
Unfortunately seems you can't say a lot here without someone taking offence.
Obviously a very traumatic experience and sincerely hope the OP is okay. I can well imagine hubby is more than annoyed but equally relieved she's okay.
I didn't see anything wrong with your post! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you considered reporting it to the police? Even if you dont want to go through with prosecution your statement and any evidence would stay on file, if he ever comes to their attention again your statement could be a good thing for them to already have. I gave a statement in a case years ago and there was already a statement on file but the person who gave the statement didnt want to take it any further.
Dont worry if you feel embarrassed/awkward about speaking to them they are well trained in dealing with situations like this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To the two men whining that this makes it “worse for the good guys” - get some perspective. A woman has been assaulted and all you can think about is whether it’ll make it harder for you to get meets? Can you see the problem with that attitude?
OP, I’m sorry this happened to you, and I’m very glad you got away before it got worse. Please remember neither of you is to blame, and look after each other while you get over the shock.
Fact - 1 - I was not whining one bit just showing an opinion. (Obviously not allowed on here anymore).
Fact - 2 - That opinion did not have any attitude attached to it at all.
Fact - 3 - Assumptions are the mother of all fuckups.
Unfortunately seems you can't say a lot here without someone taking offence.
Obviously a very traumatic experience and sincerely hope the OP is okay. I can well imagine hubby is more than annoyed but equally relieved she's okay.
I didn't see anything wrong with your post!"
Thank you Daddyslittlecumslutx
And it goes without saying that I sincerely hope the op and hubby are now safe and secure and hopefully calming down after that obvious stressful event for both of them. |
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Please could you message me with username of this man please? I’m so paranoid atm about meeting single guys I’d rather not risk it. It’s why I’ve only been meeting in groups with a trusted Fwb present. I hope you’re okay! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry you had to experience that OP
Only once in my years of meeting single guys on my own on Fab did I have a bad experience and it frightened the shit out of me, although I have always thought myself quite capable of looking after myself, it did make me realise what a vulnerable situation I was putting myself in all the time, I was quite ignorant to the risk really before that.
Take care of yourself  |
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"I know we can't name and shame but just had a very nasty meeting with a local single guy. Fortunately my rule of having hubby around for a first meet proved sensible and kept me safe.
Came away bitten, bruised and rather shaken from the threats of what he wanted to do to me at a future meeting. When I called a halt to the meeting, having Hubby there meant I felt safe in making it stop and his high level of aggression ended knowing he was downstairs. He went from zero to 100 in a few minutes...and then back to zero!!
Reported him to Admin and hope they ban him, nothing stopping him rejoining though.
Didn't tell Hubby until we got home otherwise he would have beaten the crap out of him....he is fuming!!
Don't think I will meet any man alone again..... "
Sorry to hear that you went through this
Hope you recover soon as possible and don’t let it get in to you
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To the two men whining that this makes it “worse for the good guys” - get some perspective. A woman has been assaulted and all you can think about is whether it’ll make it harder for you to get meets? Can you see the problem with that attitude?
OP, I’m sorry this happened to you, and I’m very glad you got away before it got worse. Please remember neither of you is to blame, and look after each other while you get over the shock."
100% this.
You’re not a “good guy” if you see this through the lens of damaging your standing.
I do hope OP and hubby are ok x |
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"To the two men whining that this makes it “worse for the good guys” - get some perspective. A woman has been assaulted and all you can think about is whether it’ll make it harder for you to get meets? Can you see the problem with that attitude?
OP, I’m sorry this happened to you, and I’m very glad you got away before it got worse. Please remember neither of you is to blame, and look after each other while you get over the shock.
Fact - 1 - I was not whining one bit just showing an opinion. (Obviously not allowed on here anymore).
Fact - 2 - That opinion did not have any attitude attached to it at all.
Fact - 3 - Assumptions are the mother of all fuckups. "
Here here and it seems some single women have an attitude with most of the single guys on here and try to tar them all with the same brush
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"To the two men whining that this makes it “worse for the good guys” - get some perspective. A woman has been assaulted and all you can think about is whether it’ll make it harder for you to get meets? Can you see the problem with that attitude?
OP, I’m sorry this happened to you, and I’m very glad you got away before it got worse. Please remember neither of you is to blame, and look after each other while you get over the shock.
Fact - 1 - I was not whining one bit just showing an opinion. (Obviously not allowed on here anymore).
Fact - 2 - That opinion did not have any attitude attached to it at all.
Fact - 3 - Assumptions are the mother of all fuckups.
Here here and it seems some single women have an attitude with most of the single guys on here and try to tar them all with the same brush
"
Or should it be hear hear. |
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"Please could you message me with username of this man please? I’m so paranoid atm about meeting single guys I’d rather not risk it. It’s why I’ve only been meeting in groups with a trusted Fwb present. I hope you’re okay! Xx"
Cannot message you unless you message me first.....I am too Old!!  |
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By *untiWoman
over a year ago
Newport |
So sorry to hear of this OP, it is a real risk for us women and whilst I know there are good guys out there, this is why we must be cautious.
Thanks for the warning and opening our eyes a bit... |
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Thank you to all those that have messaged me and expressed concern in this thread. It is appreciated..... 
Feeling better today, had to spend most of last evening convincing Hubby to stay away from him, he knows he doesn't have the self control to pay him a visit!!
We sat last night reviewing what we could have done differently. I did the normal messaging, all was fine, Hubby reviewed it, I got his phone number, address and had a social at his home with Hubby first before any play. It wasn't until we got into the bedroom and 30mins into playtime did it start to go wrong. I felt the best option was to just stop and get out without escalating the situation. I would have called Hubby if I felt I was in serious harms way.
We have now worked out a way of alerting Hubby I want out of a situation and to get me out of a bedroom without the guy realising what is happening....I don't want Hubby sitting on the bottom of the bed with a baseball bat....
Having to wear a top today that covers my bruised and tender boobs, everytime Hubby catches a glimpse of the marks he gets rather sullen and angry....
We really enjoy our lifestyle and I am not going to let one arsehole ruin it for us......but it was a wake up call of how risky what we do can be.
Any guy not multi varified, whos vari's we can check, will have to put up with Hubby lurking in the backgound for a few meetings until we are convinced he is not an animal.... 
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By *untiWoman
over a year ago
Newport |
"Thank you to all those that have messaged me and expressed concern in this thread. It is appreciated.....
Feeling better today, had to spend most of last evening convincing Hubby to stay away from him, he knows he doesn't have the self control to pay him a visit!!
We sat last night reviewing what we could have done differently. I did the normal messaging, all was fine, Hubby reviewed it, I got his phone number, address and had a social at his home with Hubby first before any play. It wasn't until we got into the bedroom and 30mins into playtime did it start to go wrong. I felt the best option was to just stop and get out without escalating the situation. I would have called Hubby if I felt I was in serious harms way.
We have now worked out a way of alerting Hubby I want out of a situation and to get me out of a bedroom without the guy realising what is happening....I don't want Hubby sitting on the bottom of the bed with a baseball bat....
Having to wear a top today that covers my bruised and tender boobs, everytime Hubby catches a glimpse of the marks he gets rather sullen and angry....
We really enjoy our lifestyle and I am not going to let one arsehole ruin it for us......but it was a wake up call of how risky what we do can be.
Any guy not multi varified, whos vari's we can check, will have to put up with Hubby lurking in the backgound for a few meetings until we are convinced he is not an animal....
"
Thank you for highlighting OP, I'm very pleased that your hubby is looking after you. It has brought to light how I can keep safe doing this well and being aware of get out plans in case things go sideways.
Take care of yourself xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely disgusting behavior, most important is your well-being right now. If you believe he’s likely to hurt another then consideration should strongly be on formally reporting it, sounds like a maniac, my worry is the potential of a next victim. X |
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The worse thong about this site is that problem people cannot be named and shamed.
Had someone continually pestering me on here, he thought i was someone else and he was threatening to expose the person he thought i was to her family and friends.
I continually reported him to admins as he kept changing his user name and coming back on.
He was starting to become a serious worry.
In the end I did name and shame and guess what, It was me they banned off here for some time and did not take action against the muppett.
I think we need to let people know privately who this person was at that meet so we can all simply block him
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By *uddsWoman
over a year ago
st athans |
"Disgusting, shocked should he banned and reported to higher authorities....no.place for abuse of any sort"
it matters not how many times you report someone admin do nothing about it anyway,even more so if they have site supporter,they dont wanna reduce their income.thats what they care about
most |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow this is terrible hope you are both ok, should name and shame ensuring he doesn’t get to do this again but then again he will probably just open up a new account maybe police is the correct course of action, no means no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh my that is awful! I hope your both doing OK. I hope admin do something about him! Please can someone inbox me the name of this animal please? We've already had 1 bad experience but nothing on this scale and wouldn't want to run in to this despicable person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone know the username of this animal?
OP will let you know if you message her. Otherwise message me as she let me know and I’m happy to pass it on. "
Could you let me know, so I can avoid as well please x |
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So sorry to hear this OP. We are looking to start meeting single men and this is worrying as we have received quite a few messages since we updated our profile. We have never met a single guy before.
Worried now that this guy may have messaged us. What sort of safeguards do the couples and single females put in place when meeting someone new? |
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"Thank you to all those that have messaged me and expressed concern in this thread. It is appreciated.....
Feeling better today, had to spend most of last evening convincing Hubby to stay away from him, he knows he doesn't have the self control to pay him a visit!!
We sat last night reviewing what we could have done differently. I did the normal messaging, all was fine, Hubby reviewed it, I got his phone number, address and had a social at his home with Hubby first before any play. It wasn't until we got into the bedroom and 30mins into playtime did it start to go wrong. I felt the best option was to just stop and get out without escalating the situation. I would have called Hubby if I felt I was in serious harms way.
We have now worked out a way of alerting Hubby I want out of a situation and to get me out of a bedroom without the guy realising what is happening....I don't want Hubby sitting on the bottom of the bed with a baseball bat....
Having to wear a top today that covers my bruised and tender boobs, everytime Hubby catches a glimpse of the marks he gets rather sullen and angry....
We really enjoy our lifestyle and I am not going to let one arsehole ruin it for us......but it was a wake up call of how risky what we do can be.
Any guy not multi varified, whos vari's we can check, will have to put up with Hubby lurking in the backgound for a few meetings until we are convinced he is not an animal....
"
So sorry to read this, hope ur both ok.
Also if future meets can’t deal with hubby being there after this then they are not worth meeting. Take care xx |
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Not sure if anyone has thought of this but now that OP has messaged a few with his name. Why don’t everyone who has his name go to his profile amd immediately block him.
Spread the word too amd get everyone to block him |
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That’s an awful thing to happen, we’re glad you’re out of it and hope you heal well. Don’t let it put you off. Also can you PM the name so we can block the creep as well. I hate to think we might bump into him somewhere. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just find it unbelievable that you can report someone’s /his profile & yet admin haven’t done anything about it I have blocked him but I can still see he is on here & still asking for meets shocking |
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"I know we can't name and shame but just had a very nasty meeting with a local single guy. Fortunately my rule of having hubby around for a first meet proved sensible and kept me safe.
Came away bitten, bruised and rather shaken from the threats of what he wanted to do to me at a future meeting. When I called a halt to the meeting, having Hubby there meant I felt safe in making it stop and his high level of aggression ended knowing he was downstairs. He went from zero to 100 in a few minutes...and then back to zero!!
Reported him to Admin and hope they ban him, nothing stopping him rejoining though.
Didn't tell Hubby until we got home otherwise he would have beaten the crap out of him....he is fuming!!
Don't think I will meet any man alone again..... "
I'd of punched him the throat!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Terms of Service, points 11.2 and 11.3, people who are calling for the "ban" of the person described in the OP should go read those. Because that's why there is no ban and never will be.
Without some criminal record checks that cause the user to be prevented from using such a website, then pretty much all are welcome above the age of 18.
That's not me condoning the behaviour described in the OP, that's just me stating why the person described in the OP is allowed to continue to be a member. Also, please note, that whilst it is okay to collectively 'shun' the person described, it is against website rules to message them negatively etc.
Hear a bad story? Form a collective ostracisation. Otherwise, add them to the extensive block list and move forward.
I can tell from their posts that the OP will be okay, I will just add my voice to the chorus of those wishing her (and her husband) well  |
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Thank you once again for all the kind messages I have received...
I have a very nice shade of yellow covering my boobs now, which usually is the final phase in them disappearing (bruises not my boobs)...
This whole episode has totally changed how I feel about meeting men for sex. It has also changed the dynamics I have with my Hubby for this type of lifestyle. Before this happened our Hotwife/Cuckold playtimes were exciting and worked for both of us. The sexual tension and excitment he felt has now been replaced with fears for my safety. I am still not sure in my own head if I can relax enough with a stranger to enjoy what we had before...
I thought I was a "tough old bird" as my Hubby has said on more than one occasion. Until it happens, I don't think any of us really knows what effect it will have on us.... 
We have to find a new way now to explore our sex lives with others.....  |
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So sad to hear of bellends like that on this site, hope you and your hubby are getting over this, and can eventually move forward and try to put it behind you, sites like this don't need arseholes doing crap like that, can be very worrying when meeting alone, that's why if meeting I'll meet at mine where I feel safer and always got a few items stashed near by (don't ask wot) thank God I've never needed to reach for. Please PM me his name |
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"Terms of Service, points 11.2 and 11.3, people who are calling for the "ban" of the person described in the OP should go read those. Because that's why there is no ban and never will be.
Without some criminal record checks that cause the user to be prevented from using such a website, then pretty much all are welcome above the age of 18.
That's not me condoning the behaviour described in the OP, that's just me stating why the person described in the OP is allowed to continue to be a member. Also, please note, that whilst it is okay to collectively 'shun' the person described, it is against website rules to message them negatively etc.
"
Unfortunately behaviour like this is going to end in a criminal record at some point. By refusing to act on reports from members the site is condoning it. If in the future someone who is assaulted decides to go to the police the fallout will be interesting. |
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I'm so sorry you had to experience this. You have done nothing wrong and you were more cautious than others would be. There are so many people on here just chancing a quick meet when they get the urge. They really do not care about others, only just getting themselves what they want. I'm sure if there are genuine people who are into degradation and pain they would put it on their profile to match with someone rather than inflicting this horror on someone.
I hope you both feel better soon and can only hope this doesn't happen to others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you allowed to name in on here so people can avoid him and if he starts a new profile it’ll give people a chance to know who it is, hope you’re both feeling a bit better it must have been terrifying for you ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can anyone who has the profile name please let us know. Gayle has just started the hotwife game, first last week. This information is to protect women. Personally, I don't care about clause 11. The company has a legal duty of care to ensure safety within reasonable efforts. I think removing someone for a violent attack would seem reasonable. Leaving this unpunished yet temporarily banning some who says show me your arse in the wrong chat room shows a malfunctioning moral compass..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You don't need to name or Shame.
As he hasn't given his side story.
I do agree you should be safe.
Share name of your last meet here.
You should never free frightened on meet hope you ok
"
What side of the story does he need to give. Physically assaulting someone when they say no has no story. Its unacceptable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can anyone who has the profile name please let us know. Gayle has just started the hotwife game, first last week. This information is to protect women. Personally, I don't care about clause 11. The company has a legal duty of care to ensure safety within reasonable efforts. I think removing someone for a violent attack would seem reasonable. Leaving this unpunished yet temporarily banning some who says show me your arse in the wrong chat room shows a malfunctioning moral compass....."
Just messaged you x |
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