FabSwingers.com > Forums > Wales > Am I a turn off??
Am I a turn off??
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Basically I get chatting to people and as soon as I send a face pic they say"sorry not for me" or something to that affect then block me.
Any women here could you send me a message I will send a face pic then if you could enlighten me a little x |
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"It seems physical attraction & cock size is more important to most people on here than personality. "
Thing is you don't fuck with your personality! Yes people are looking for a connection of such but they gotta find the package attractive too! It's called preference!  |
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Totally agree with your point.
It's just this site well actually all sites like this can cause massive self confidence and anxiety issues .
For example I have spoken to numerous ladies on here and all seems to go well until I send a face pic then every single one of them has shot me down and blocked me cause my mind to play games thinking what is wrong with the way I look etc...
If it was just 1 or 2 I'd understand but when it comes to a point when it's every one of the ladies it's a bit depressing if you get what I mean.
I know I'm not the only one that feels this
#mentalhealthawarenessweek |
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Don't take it to heart mate. Yes it can be frustrating I'll agree, and many years ago I felt exactly the same. I kept on and made some nice friends. If messages don't work, join in on the forums, let your personality shine through.
On a side note though, if it's affecting your mental health I'd say to steer clear of any kind of site like these, Every rejection will just make you feel worse (been there).
Anyway, try not to take things personal. Don't give up  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is why I always ask for a face pic with first message. It's less hurtful to ignore and delete a first message if there's no attraction (guys kinda expect no replies anyway) than to chat and then have to say 'sorry, but not for me' I hate it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It seems physical attraction & cock size is more important to most people on here than personality.
Thing is you don't fuck with your personality! Yes people are looking for a connection of such but they gotta find the package attractive too! It's called preference! "
I don't get why men find it so outragous that women actually want to meet a man they find physically attractive who has a decent sized cock. When I used to meet, it was for no strings sex. Rarely wanted to see the bloke again, I wanted him for sex, so his personality wasn't really top of the list for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Totally agree with your point.
It's just this site well actually all sites like this can cause massive self confidence and anxiety issues .
For example I have spoken to numerous ladies on here and all seems to go well until I send a face pic then every single one of them has shot me down and blocked me cause my mind to play games thinking what is wrong with the way I look etc...
If it was just 1 or 2 I'd understand but when it comes to a point when it's every one of the ladies it's a bit depressing if you get what I mean.
I know I'm not the only one that feels this
#mentalhealthawarenessweek"
Fab can be absolutely awful for self esteem.
It rarely gives men a boost and you are on the back foot before you start as you are up against huge competition with men outnumbering women by something dull.
I would suggest sending a face pic with your first message, at least then you know where you stand before you start rather than getting into a conversation with someone you like only to then be cut off later down the line. Or just use the forums and chat rooms for a while if one to one chat is doing your head in. But seriously if the site is affecting your mental health, take a break for a while. It isn't worth it |
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"Totally agree with your point.
It's just this site well actually all sites like this can cause massive self confidence and anxiety issues .
For example I have spoken to numerous ladies on here and all seems to go well until I send a face pic then every single one of them has shot me down and blocked me cause my mind to play games thinking what is wrong with the way I look etc...
If it was just 1 or 2 I'd understand but when it comes to a point when it's every one of the ladies it's a bit depressing if you get what I mean.
I know I'm not the only one that feels this
#mentalhealthawarenessweek"
We do honestly understand what you are saying.
If rejection is really affecting you so much, then maybe you should question whether this is the right site for you.
Single guys will all tell you that they face a lot of rejection on here. |
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Honestly I pretty much block or ignore depending on the first message anyway. I don’t risk getting even in to conversation with someone if their profile mentions discreet/they haven’t got a face photo.
I like many others only want to have sex with people I find extremely attractive. It takes someone pretty special for me to want to meet these days.
I’m aware that I’m not everyone’s taste and vice versa. But I think women are more likely to read someone’s profile and assess whether the person will find them attractive etc.
Men just seem to send out a scatter hun approach. |
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Single guy here and ive been on and off the site for years, we single men face a lot of competition from other single men as the men outnumber the ladies so its kind of hard to stand out but you have to try, over the years of being on here i have been rejected more than once but i just look at it as that person wasnt right for me, i could send 100 messages a day and id only be likely to get about 2-3 replies, my advice dont take it too heart (as disheartening as it is) use the forums as other have suggested, maybe have a face pic on your profile and always send a face pic with the first message, you'll see a lot of ladies asking for it and your more likely to get a response if you send one or 2 with your first message, i tend to send about 3 so they get a good look at this ugly mug of mine |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I could and probably should write a book on the do's and don'ts of FAB with all the things I've seen here over the years !
If most males knew what the site was really like they would be too lazy to even attempt joining as most see it as "instafuck"
I always work to a couple of golden rules that have never let me down:
1. No means NO ! (not "maybe" not " a second message might change things" not "if I'm shitty back I'll get a reply")
2. Read bloody profiles to the letter !
3. don't take rejection personally
4. patience is the key to success !
Failing that, always have stripy socks  |
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"
I always work to a couple of golden rules that have never let me down:
1. No means NO ! (not "maybe" not " a second message might change things" not "if I'm shitty back I'll get a reply")
2. Read bloody profiles to the letter !
3. don't take rejection personally
4. patience is the key to success !
Failing that, always have stripy socks "
Totally agree with all 4 points you make, especially the stripey socks. Infact my current socks look like an explosion in a Crayola factory. But I will add that funky pants also help.
And a green lightsaber of course
 |
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What CJ said and also maybe look at what your face pic is saying. Is it flattering to you.
If it's a pic that resembles a Wanted Ad mugshot youreynot doing yourself a favour.
Play with some angles, maybe black and white is your thing.
Just remember your profile and pics are your shop window! |
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Don’t worry about it. The females on here get inundated with messages
The result is that no matter how average looking or out of shape they are, they can afford to block and move on. It gives some the air of arrogance as a result
Hence unattractive females who would never get a second look in the ‘real world’ cut and dash in pursuit of fucking someone with no body fat and a 45ft cock |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t worry about it. The females on here get inundated with messages
The result is that no matter how average looking or out of shape they are, they can afford to block and move on. It gives some the air of arrogance as a result
Hence unattractive females who would never get a second look in the ‘real world’ cut and dash in pursuit of fucking someone with no body fat and a 45ft cock"
That's a bit unfair. Woman don't assume an air of arrogance. We basically want to fuck someone we find attractive. Attraction is different for many people. What I find attractive might not be attractive for others and vice versa. |
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In my opinion only complete idiots judge someone by photos. A pal of mine on here is actually a photographer, and has used various places of mine for locations. He has shown me a few tricks of the trade, mainly lighting, and use of vanishing point where he can make a Rottweiler look seductive. A person can look great in a photo, and stink where they stand, as well as looking the results of a genetic experiment that went badly wrong, when you meet them. Trust me, personality, and intelligence will always be seen as sexy! |
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"Don’t worry about it. The females on here get inundated with messages
The result is that no matter how average looking or out of shape they are, they can afford to block and move on. It gives some the air of arrogance as a result
Hence unattractive females who would never get a second look in the ‘real world’ cut and dash in pursuit of fucking someone with no body fat and a 45ft cock"
How little you obviously know about fab women |
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"In my opinion only complete idiots judge someone by photos. A pal of mine on here is actually a photographer, and has used various places of mine for locations. He has shown me a few tricks of the trade, mainly lighting, and use of vanishing point where he can make a Rottweiler look seductive. A person can look great in a photo, and stink where they stand, as well as looking the results of a genetic experiment that went badly wrong, when you meet them. Trust me, personality, and intelligence will always be seen as sexy!"
And of course, every single person is entitled to his or her opinion.
|
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"Don’t worry about it. The females on here get inundated with messages
The result is that no matter how average looking or out of shape they are, they can afford to block and move on. It gives some the air of arrogance as a result
Hence unattractive females who would never get a second look in the ‘real world’ cut and dash in pursuit of fucking someone with no body fat and a 45ft cock
How little you obviously know about fab women "
I beg to differ. Perhaps if you were on the other side of the coin then you would see it |
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"Don’t worry about it. The females on here get inundated with messages
The result is that no matter how average looking or out of shape they are, they can afford to block and move on. It gives some the air of arrogance as a result
Hence unattractive females who would never get a second look in the ‘real world’ cut and dash in pursuit of fucking someone with no body fat and a 45ft cock
That's a bit unfair. Woman don't assume an air of arrogance. We basically want to fuck someone we find attractive. Attraction is different for many people. What I find attractive might not be attractive for others and vice versa. "
I appreciate what you’re saying, but I stated it gives ‘some’ an air or arrogance. With the greatest respect, unless you’re the one on the other side of the fence you won’t see it
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"Don’t worry about it. The females on here get inundated with messages
The result is that no matter how average looking or out of shape they are, they can afford to block and move on. It gives some the air of arrogance as a result
Hence unattractive females who would never get a second look in the ‘real world’ cut and dash in pursuit of fucking someone with no body fat and a 45ft cock
How little you obviously know about fab women
I beg to differ. Perhaps if you were on the other side of the coin then you would see it "
Why is then that often men with 6 packs and model looks come to the forums moaning that they can't get meets or replies? And yet I know a fair few men over 50s with dadbods who do incredibly well on fab and pre covid were more than a little busy with meets and parties?
Not all women on fab are looking for the same thing. |
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"Don’t worry about it. The females on here get inundated with messages
The result is that no matter how average looking or out of shape they are, they can afford to block and move on. It gives some the air of arrogance as a result
Hence unattractive females who would never get a second look in the ‘real world’ cut and dash in pursuit of fucking someone with no body fat and a 45ft cock
That's a bit unfair. Woman don't assume an air of arrogance. We basically want to fuck someone we find attractive. Attraction is different for many people. What I find attractive might not be attractive for others and vice versa. "
And sometimes, I find someone attractive initially based on a photo, but they become deeply unattractive by their behaviour towards me. Attraction is important, but looks alone aren’t enough. |
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OP, if it helps, have a look at some of the male attitudes on display in this thread, and decide to be better. No, we can’t all be physically attractive to everyone, but you can be more attractive through your personality and how you come across. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t worry about it. The females on here get inundated with messages
The result is that no matter how average looking or out of shape they are, they can afford to block and move on. It gives some the air of arrogance as a result
Hence unattractive females who would never get a second look in the ‘real world’ cut and dash in pursuit of fucking someone with no body fat and a 45ft cock
That's a bit unfair. Woman don't assume an air of arrogance. We basically want to fuck someone we find attractive. Attraction is different for many people. What I find attractive might not be attractive for others and vice versa.
I appreciate what you’re saying, but I stated it gives ‘some’ an air or arrogance. With the greatest respect, unless you’re the one on the other side of the fence you won’t see it
"
No, what I have seen after I have declined a person based on their message of "I want to r*pe you" (no joke) or because they are smokers or because they live 150 miles away. They reply with "You're too fat anyway." "Your tits are saggy" "Arrogant Cunt think your better than me". "You must be desperate." "Bet you are ugly as fuck and that's why you don't show your face."
These are just a few examples of the abuse and bullshit we have to put up with on this side of the fence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP, if it helps, have a look at some of the male attitudes on display in this thread, and decide to be better. No, we can’t all be physically attractive to everyone, but you can be more attractive through your personality and how you come across."
100% agree with this!  x |
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"Don’t worry about it. The females on here get inundated with messages
The result is that no matter how average looking or out of shape they are, they can afford to block and move on. It gives some the air of arrogance as a result
Hence unattractive females who would never get a second look in the ‘real world’ cut and dash in pursuit of fucking someone with no body fat and a 45ft cock
That's a bit unfair. Woman don't assume an air of arrogance. We basically want to fuck someone we find attractive. Attraction is different for many people. What I find attractive might not be attractive for others and vice versa.
I appreciate what you’re saying, but I stated it gives ‘some’ an air or arrogance. With the greatest respect, unless you’re the one on the other side of the fence you won’t see it
No, what I have seen after I have declined a person based on their message of "I want to r*pe you" (no joke) or because they are smokers or because they live 150 miles away. They reply with "You're too fat anyway." "Your tits are saggy" "Arrogant Cunt think your better than me". "You must be desperate." "Bet you are ugly as fuck and that's why you don't show your face."
These are just a few examples of the abuse and bullshit we have to put up with on this side of the fence. "
It drives me nuts when I hear stories like this. I treat people with the same respect I was taught to give people in real life. I've never once even considered a response other than a polite thank you. And for some one to say 'i want to r@pe you' it just boggles my mind. Don't these people have mother's daughters or sisters ? |
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By *heHLMMan
over a year ago
S. Wales |
It’s basically the peacock effect. Men on forums have to try a lot harder. Most women are polite but it’s understandable that not everyone will find you attractive. You’ve got to have thick skin on here. It’s harsh but it’s true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t worry about it. The females on here get inundated with messages
The result is that no matter how average looking or out of shape they are, they can afford to block and move on. It gives some the air of arrogance as a result
Hence unattractive females who would never get a second look in the ‘real world’ cut and dash in pursuit of fucking someone with no body fat and a 45ft cock
That's a bit unfair. Woman don't assume an air of arrogance. We basically want to fuck someone we find attractive. Attraction is different for many people. What I find attractive might not be attractive for others and vice versa.
I appreciate what you’re saying, but I stated it gives ‘some’ an air or arrogance. With the greatest respect, unless you’re the one on the other side of the fence you won’t see it
No, what I have seen after I have declined a person based on their message of "I want to r*pe you" (no joke) or because they are smokers or because they live 150 miles away. They reply with "You're too fat anyway." "Your tits are saggy" "Arrogant Cunt think your better than me". "You must be desperate." "Bet you are ugly as fuck and that's why you don't show your face."
These are just a few examples of the abuse and bullshit we have to put up with on this side of the fence.
It drives me nuts when I hear stories like this. I treat people with the same respect I was taught to give people in real life. I've never once even considered a response other than a polite thank you. And for some one to say 'i want to r@pe you' it just boggles my mind. Don't these people have mother's daughters or sisters ? "
That's the expected gentleman response. No hard feelings, take care and move on. Initially it was upsetting, but I now realise its their own insecurities and male ego that has the issues.
Glad you've been brought up respectful and kind |
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I absolutely love these threads, attraction is such a subjective thing.
Sadly at the moment socials are not happening but always my advice is that’s where to go to get to know people. The organisers will often do a meet and greet, where they will introduce you to people which enables you to network. From those socials people will verify you. As someone said earlier I have been invited to parties and events where very few of the single chaps look like Brad Pitt. But people will say ‘oh he is a lovely bloke’ husbands will trust them with wives etc.
So in summary don’t let it get you down, I am an absolute legend, good looking, hung, wealthy, charming, raffish and if I messaged 100 women most would not respond because of the volume of messages they get. However when I walk into a social..... women go berserk, it’s like I am a rock star!!! Throwing their bra’s and knickers at me etc!!
Ok the last bit might not be 100% accurate lol |
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"Don’t worry about it. The females on here get inundated with messages
The result is that no matter how average looking or out of shape they are, they can afford to block and move on. It gives some the air of arrogance as a result
Hence unattractive females who would never get a second look in the ‘real world’ cut and dash in pursuit of fucking someone with no body fat and a 45ft cock
That's a bit unfair. Woman don't assume an air of arrogance. We basically want to fuck someone we find attractive. Attraction is different for many people. What I find attractive might not be attractive for others and vice versa.
I appreciate what you’re saying, but I stated it gives ‘some’ an air or arrogance. With the greatest respect, unless you’re the one on the other side of the fence you won’t see it
No, what I have seen after I have declined a person based on their message of "I want to r*pe you" (no joke) or because they are smokers or because they live 150 miles away. They reply with "You're too fat anyway." "Your tits are saggy" "Arrogant Cunt think your better than me". "You must be desperate." "Bet you are ugly as fuck and that's why you don't show your face."
These are just a few examples of the abuse and bullshit we have to put up with on this side of the fence.
It drives me nuts when I hear stories like this. I treat people with the same respect I was taught to give people in real life. I've never once even considered a response other than a polite thank you. And for some one to say 'i want to r@pe you' it just boggles my mind. Don't these people have mother's daughters or sisters ? "
To utter those word is shocking and absolutely uncalled for. Making comments like that to someone probably shows what a near miss you have had - luckily! |
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"
Glad you've been brought up respectful and kind "
It's really not that hard, maybe it's because I've been on these sites so long and I've learned as well. I remember my frustrations back in the day, but I took things on board, learned and decided to be myself and not something I'm not. I know what you mean with name calling tho, and yeah it does get to you. I remember once mailing someone and the response was "how dare you mail me with a face like that" to say that hurt was an understatement, but you just have to learn to accept that some people are just fucking tossers 
And I won't lower myself to their level |
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"Don’t worry about it. The females on here get inundated with messages
The result is that no matter how average looking or out of shape they are, they can afford to block and move on. It gives some the air of arrogance as a result
Hence unattractive females who would never get a second look in the ‘real world’ cut and dash in pursuit of fucking someone with no body fat and a 45ft cock
How little you obviously know about fab women
I beg to differ. Perhaps if you were on the other side of the coin then you would see it
Why is then that often men with 6 packs and model looks come to the forums moaning that they can't get meets or replies? And yet I know a fair few men over 50s with dadbods who do incredibly well on fab and pre covid were more than a little busy with meets and parties?
Not all women on fab are looking for the same thing."
Exactly. A friend of mine has abs, model looks and is in porn industry. Struggled on fab big time.
It’s about the right combination of attitude and looks. |
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A girl just messaged back in now (which is rare, and I absolutely understand why lot's don't message back) and she apologized for being shallow for not liking my beard
I just said (as I always do) no worries, thanks for replying, happy fabbing
You can't help what you're attracted to after all, I've also stopped talking after seeing a face pic if that person isn't for me
It's all fine |
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"OP, if it helps, have a look at some of the male attitudes on display in this thread, and decide to be better. No, we can’t all be physically attractive to everyone, but you can be more attractive through your personality and how you come across."
Completely this
What strikes me is some of the guys responses on threads like these screams bitterness that us women have the shear audacity to reject them based on what we see in front of us. That we should be grateful no matter how out appearance of the bones we're thrown at us
Entitlement should be left at the log in button |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Basically I get chatting to people and as soon as I send a face pic they say"sorry not for me" or something to that affect then block me.
Any women here could you send me a message I will send a face pic then if you could enlighten me a little x"
Tbh I'm feeling your pain & fb get the same response with my face pic, my face doesn't say sexy like my carefully cropped body pics. But I no longer give a fuck because I can look in the mirror & I love me X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't take it to heart mate. Yes it can be frustrating I'll agree, and many years ago I felt exactly the same. I kept on and made some nice friends. If messages don't work, join in on the forums, let your personality shine through.
On a side note though, if it's affecting your mental health I'd say to steer clear of any kind of site like these, Every rejection will just make you feel worse (been there).
Anyway, try not to take things personal. Don't give up "
Well said mate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t worry about it. The females on here get inundated with messages
The result is that no matter how average looking or out of shape they are, they can afford to block and move on. It gives some the air of arrogance as a result
Hence unattractive females who would never get a second look in the ‘real world’ cut and dash in pursuit of fucking someone with no body fat and a 45ft cock"
Only 45ft? Wouldn't even tickle my tonsils that. They'd need to up their game  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Basically I get chatting to people and as soon as I send a face pic they say"sorry not for me" or something to that affect then block me.
Any women here could you send me a message I will send a face pic then if you could enlighten me a little x
Tbh I'm feeling your pain & fb get the same response with my face pic, my face doesn't say sexy like my carefully cropped body pics. But I no longer give a fuck because I can look in the mirror & I love me X"
I love you too Peach  |
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"Don’t worry about it. The females on here get inundated with messages
The result is that no matter how average looking or out of shape they are, they can afford to block and move on. It gives some the air of arrogance as a result
Hence unattractive females who would never get a second look in the ‘real world’ cut and dash in pursuit of fucking someone with no body fat and a 45ft cock
Only 45ft? Wouldn't even tickle my tonsils that. They'd need to up their game "
I gotta 45 pound cock. Far to expensive for you though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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RIGHT ! to stop there being any confusion for the poor author of the tread and the following posts.
You are on a swinging site. You will find women who need to be attracted to you physically, some mentally, and others who couldn't give a shit what you look like if you know what to do with your cock and tounge.
BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is that you must respect every one of them even if they may have refused you. Its not personal, its just the way it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Basically I get chatting to people and as soon as I send a face pic they say"sorry not for me" or something to that affect then block me.
Any women here could you send me a message I will send a face pic then if you could enlighten me a little x
Tbh I'm feeling your pain & fb get the same response with my face pic, my face doesn't say sexy like my carefully cropped body pics. But I no longer give a fuck because I can look in the mirror & I love me X
I love you too Peach "
 |
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"In my opinion only complete idiots judge someone by photos. A pal of mine on here is actually a photographer, and has used various places of mine for locations. He has shown me a few tricks of the trade, mainly lighting, and use of vanishing point where he can make a Rottweiler look seductive. A person can look great in a photo, and stink where they stand, as well as looking the results of a genetic experiment that went badly wrong, when you meet them. Trust me, personality, and intelligence will always be seen as sexy!"
Do men see that as sexy ? Why should I ? I want a good fuck not conversation |
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"In my opinion only complete idiots judge someone by photos. A pal of mine on here is actually a photographer, and has used various places of mine for locations. He has shown me a few tricks of the trade, mainly lighting, and use of vanishing point where he can make a Rottweiler look seductive. A person can look great in a photo, and stink where they stand, as well as looking the results of a genetic experiment that went badly wrong, when you meet them. Trust me, personality, and intelligence will always be seen as sexy!
Do men see that as sexy ? Why should I ? I want a good fuck not conversation "
Certainly been my experience, especially with single women I've met over the years. I have admit though that charisma, and intelligence doesn't always sit comfortable with the male half a a couple if there is any underlying insecurity in their so called established relationship that's like to have his partner concentrating her attention on that particular guy, and I have had that on very good authority. |
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By *taffswenchCouple
over a year ago
South Wales/South West England |
"Totally agree with your point.
It's just this site well actually all sites like this can cause massive self confidence and anxiety issues .
For example I have spoken to numerous ladies on here and all seems to go well until I send a face pic then every single one of them has shot me down and blocked me cause my mind to play games thinking what is wrong with the way I look etc...
If it was just 1 or 2 I'd understand but when it comes to a point when it's every one of the ladies it's a bit depressing if you get what I mean.
I know I'm not the only one that feels this
#mentalhealthawarenessweek
Fab can be absolutely awful for self esteem.
It rarely gives men a boost and you are on the back foot before you start as you are up against huge competition with men outnumbering women by something dull.
I would suggest sending a face pic with your first message, at least then you know where you stand before you start rather than getting into a conversation with someone you like only to then be cut off later down the line. Or just use the forums and chat rooms for a while if one to one chat is doing your head in. But seriously if the site is affecting your mental health, take a break for a while. It isn't worth it "
Totally agree.
I get my fair share of "No thanks"
I don't let it get to me.
If it was, I'd have to ask myself is this the right place for me right now?
Some people will always find it harder than others
But it's hard work and a numbers game for the rest of us.
Good luck.
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