FabSwingers.com > Forums > Wales > Can you be a swinger if you have a partner that doesn’t know about it?

Can you be a swinger if you have a partner that doesn’t know about it?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just received some strong opinionated views about how you can’t be a swinger if your cheating, trying to explain the scenario to this specific person and she’s got me pretty much doubting myself even lol, just curious to know others point of view on this, I can see a lot of hatred coming but hey it is what it is lol

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By *efByOrgasmsMan over a year ago

Heads of the Valleys

Definite cheating if your partner doesn't knows about you "swinging" behind her back.

No matter how it dressed up it's cheating unless she knows and given you permission to play

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I get that it’s cheating, but does it mean I can’t be a swinger?

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By *mTheMrJMan over a year ago

Barry

[Removed by poster at 13/01/21 21:48:50]

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By *mTheMrJMan over a year ago

Barry

Personaly, I think you should state on your _rofile that you are in a relationship and that your partner isn't aware that you play away, it allows those who look at your _rofile to be fully informed before deciding to interact with you.

Ultimately though, what your _rofile contains is your choice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Personaly, I think you should state on your _rofile that you are in a relationship and that your partner isn't aware that you play away, it allows those who look at your _rofile to be fully informed before deciding to interact with you.

Ultimately though, what your _rofile contains is your choice. "

Great advice cheers

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By *inky B and kinky DCouple over a year ago

pwllheli

Yes you can be a swinger even if your cheating, us personally we give cheating married men a miss not our thing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd suggest no, swinging for my gf and I is about openness and honesty. Just a thought.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But on the flip side I couldn't live a vanilla lifestyle!

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By * and R cple4Couple over a year ago

swansea

"I'd suggest no, swinging for my gf and I is about openness and honesty. Just a thought. "
This

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By *ugarbearCouple over a year ago

Tredegar

You are not a swinger unless you have a partner to swing with..it goes you fuck me and my hubby fucks your partner.

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By *rs-sensual-meWoman over a year ago

gwynedd

"I'd suggest no, swinging for my gf and I is about openness and honesty. Just a thought. This

I'm with this. Swinging needs trust and honesty.

I would never meet anyone that is cheating personally but alot of people do look for married men.

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By *ackieSteveCouple over a year ago

Newbridge

I don't count trying to get your dick wet on the side swinging.

It's just fucking.

Swinging is a lifestyle, weather you enjoy the social side or parties or clubs, whatever.

But just a single guy cheating on his missus because he doesn't get enough at home doesn't count as a swinger to me.

Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of single guys who are into the lifestyle and I'd class as swingers because they're part of the community.

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By *hrisy69Man over a year ago

chester/hawarden

Not an easy one to answer. I have been to swingers parties with my partner and there have been single guys so would say yes you can. But the other half no longer plays so i play on my own but dont class it as swinging but i might still attend a swingers party. Think if your in the swinging lifestyle you have to have a partner to swing with as mentioned by others. I tend to class it as fun now rather than swinging.

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By *lease300Woman over a year ago

merthyr

Weird the ‘single’ men get grief about meets on here but single women can’t do no wrong x

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

"Weird the ‘single’ men get grief about meets on here but single women can’t do no wrong x"

Yeah, that’s what I always think. Such a double standard.

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By *lease300Woman over a year ago

merthyr

"Weird the ‘single’ men get grief about meets on here but single women can’t do no wrong x

Yeah, that’s what I always think. Such a double standard."

No one cares if the women are in a relationship funny that lol x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Weird the ‘single’ men get grief about meets on here but single women can’t do no wrong x

Yeah, that’s what I always think. Such a double standard.

No one cares if the women are in a relationship funny that lol x"

Not everyone, we wouldn't play with anyone cheating on a partner.

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

"Weird the ‘single’ men get grief about meets on here but single women can’t do no wrong x

Yeah, that’s what I always think. Such a double standard.

No one cares if the women are in a relationship funny that lol x"

Yup. I’ve had loads of messages from guys who on the forum condemn cheating, but in my inbox they want to meet me.

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By *lease300Woman over a year ago

merthyr

"Weird the ‘single’ men get grief about meets on here but single women can’t do no wrong x

Yeah, that’s what I always think. Such a double standard.

No one cares if the women are in a relationship funny that lol x

Not everyone, we wouldn't play with anyone cheating on a partner."

Your one of the rare ones x

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By *lease300Woman over a year ago

merthyr

"Weird the ‘single’ men get grief about meets on here but single women can’t do no wrong x

Yeah, that’s what I always think. Such a double standard.

No one cares if the women are in a relationship funny that lol x

Yup. I’ve had loads of messages from guys who on the forum condemn cheating, but in my inbox they want to meet me."

Indeed x

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By *oby le roneMan over a year ago

Treorchy

"Weird the ‘single’ men get grief about meets on here but single women can’t do no wrong x

Yeah, that’s what I always think. Such a double standard.

No one cares if the women are in a relationship funny that lol x

Not everyone, we wouldn't play with anyone cheating on a partner.

Your one of the rare ones x"

Me either for that matter, never knowingly. I always think back to when I was in a relationship and imagine what it would be like if it happened to me. I’m not the type that would take it well. I could never inflict that kind of pain on someone.

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By *elshman1967 99Man over a year ago

The Shire

"You are not a swinger unless you have a partner to swing with..it goes you fuck me and my hubby fucks your partner.

you have 2 veris off single guys from meets, is this not swinging?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get that it’s cheating, but does it mean I can’t be a swinger? "

You are a cheat, not a swinger

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By *lease300Woman over a year ago

merthyr

Strong views here each to their own I believe no one is right or wrong horses for courses xxx

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By *rolicerMan over a year ago

Abergele

Don't even think single people can be swingers. Fuckers, player's to mention two.

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By *rsbrooksandjohnCouple over a year ago

Swansea

For us we wont meet married single _rofiles or married fuck buddy _rofiles. Swinging is all about trust first then fun.

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By *nique_GymMan over a year ago

Cardiff

I think the pertinent question is this OP, let’s say you messaged a woman on here, and she appealed to you because she was verified by 30 people. Those 30 people a mix of men and couples saying what an incredible woman she is, sexy, gorgeous, filthy, slut etc etc all by meeting in person. You move to chatting on kik and you arrange a social meet, you are excited, you kiss you wife goodbye that morning go to work and then leave for your luncheon meeting.

You walk in the coffee shop only to be greeted with your significant other sat there all made up, sexy outfit but discreet. You realise that it’s your significant other who has fucked at least 30 people........ would you smile and say to yourself ‘well it’s only swinging, she hasn’t cheated on me’

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think the pertinent question is this OP, let’s say you messaged a woman on here, and she appealed to you because she was verified by 30 people. Those 30 people a mix of men and couples saying what an incredible woman she is, sexy, gorgeous, filthy, slut etc etc all by meeting in person. You move to chatting on kik and you arrange a social meet, you are excited, you kiss you wife goodbye that morning go to work and then leave for your luncheon meeting.

The answers are going to come flying in on this one.

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By *lease300Woman over a year ago

merthyr

Well if single folk can’t be swingers surely we wouldn’t be allowed on here and majority of couples on here want 3somes???????

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The answers are going to come flying in on this one. "

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

You didn’t ask me, but no-one else has replied so I may as well.

Firstly, I don’t see how your scenario could happen without at least a suspicion that it might be your partner. It could never happen to me unless he used stolen photos, because I don’t even speak to someone without seeing a face pic, but even without a face pic I don’t see how anyone could not recognise their partner and/or their home in the background. Also, in my case specifically, I don’t believe my partner would ever make a _rofile on here, as he has a very low opinion of swingers.

Secondly, for me, I wouldn’t much care. My partner has full permission (for want of a better word) to do whatever he wants with whoever he wants, he just isn’t willing to give me the same freedom. The only thing that would piss me off is if I found he’d been having sex with other people while refusing to have sex with me. If I’d been the one rejecting him, I wouldn’t feel like I was in a position to complain even if I wasn’t meeting other people.

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By *nique_GymMan over a year ago

Cardiff

You didn’t ask me, but no-one else has replied so I may as well.

I didn’t mean that, what my point was, is this.... if the OP’s partner is unaware he is on here with a view to meeting people without her knowledge or consent then how would he feel if he discovered she was on this site and had met multiple people which is obviously what he would perhaps like to do!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well if single folk can’t be swingers surely we wouldn’t be allowed on here and majority of couples on here want 3somes???????"

If you are single then you aren't cheating.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just received some strong opinionated views about how you can’t be a swinger if your cheating, trying to explain the scenario to this specific person and she’s got me pretty much doubting myself even lol, just curious to know others point of view on this, I can see a lot of hatred coming but hey it is what it is lol "

We don't send hatred to someone we don't know, however we do pity your unsuspecting partner.

Sad.

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

You didn’t ask me, but no-one else has replied so I may as well.

And the OP didn’t reply so I gave my perspective - which I believe I’m allowed to do on a public forum. You say “I didn’t mean that” - what didn’t you mean? Does your question not apply equally to everyone who is on here without their partner’s knowledge?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I definitely don't judge anyone or tell them how to live there lifes but swinging is about being honest with each other and respect ,but mate that's cheating

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/21 17:04:39]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The site would nigh on empty if you deleted all those who are married, attached or in some form of other complicated arrangement. Male or female they'll all have their own reasons or explanations, we each follow our own moral compass, you just need to do you X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What an interesting thread, there's some connected people here expressing very hypocritical views. It's so good to know Fab remains predictable X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Weird the ‘single’ men get grief about meets on here but single women can’t do no wrong x"

Nope you are a cheat if male or female playing behind a partners back. I make no distinction between the sexes. Thats why we wont play with single guys/women or fuck buddies.

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By *lease300Woman over a year ago

merthyr

"The site would nigh on empty if you deleted all those who are married, attached or in some form of other complicated arrangement. Male or female they'll all have their own reasons or explanations, we each follow our own moral compass, you just need to do you X"

Amen x

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By *lease300Woman over a year ago

merthyr

"Weird the ‘single’ men get grief about meets on here but single women can’t do no wrong x

Nope you are a cheat if male or female playing behind a partners back. I make no distinction between the sexes. Thats why we wont play with single guys/women or fuck buddies. "

I meant that folk said single folk were seen as not swingers actually (not married) as in single _rofiles

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Both of us git cheated on by our married partners. Having been on the recieving end of the hurt id not play with cheaters. It not a twisted moral compass. If its kot working just leave them and fuck who you want not tear their heart apart when they will eventually find out no matter how careful and sneaky you think you are being!

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By *lease300Woman over a year ago

merthyr

You’d never know if they had a partner anyway your just going on trust unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You’d never know if they had a partner anyway your just going on trust unfortunately "

Thats why we are looking to play with married cpls only. Saves the guilt for us finding out we played with a married woman/guy playing away.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are many couples on here and many many true singles.

The site maybe be a bit streamlined without cheats, but it certainly wouldn't be near on empty.

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By *lease300Woman over a year ago

merthyr

"You’d never know if they had a partner anyway your just going on trust unfortunately

Thats why we are looking to play with married cpls only. Saves the guilt for us finding out we played with a married woman/guy playing away. "

Can’t people also lie about being married????

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By *rofMan over a year ago

Around

"What an interesting thread, there's some connected people here expressing very hypocritical views. It's so good to knew Fab remains predictable X"

Couldn't agree more, generally people have given their opinion on the op cheating and not on the question.

If the op know what the scene was about he wouldn't need to ask.

So my opinion not that it matters, yes you can.

If we assume the op is asking if he is a swinger then I would say not yet, joined 9 weeks during a lockdown I don't think so.

The scene has been forced to shut down, no parties, meets, clubs or socials. Nothing no swinging going on anywhere so until the scene gets back to some normality, the op is one of many new "single" men or women, I wouldn't class them as swingers yet.

Ask again when you have been to socials, parties, made friends and know what swinging is.

good luck op

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What an interesting thread, there's some connected people here expressing very hypocritical views. It's so good to knew Fab remains predictable X

Couldn't agree more, generally people have given their opinion on the op cheating and not on the question.

If the op know what the scene was about he wouldn't need to ask.

So my opinion not that it matters, yes you can.

If we assume the op is asking if he is a swinger then I would say not yet, joined 9 weeks during a lockdown I don't think so.

Ask again when you have been to socials, parties, made friends and know what swinging is.

good luck op

Whatever length of time, or wherever the OP goes in this world, if he is a cheat he will remain a cheat.

In your opinion then, is cheating and swinging the same thing?

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By *rofMan over a year ago

Around

To answer your question, cheating is cheating and swinging is swinging.

The ops question was: Can you be a swinger if you have a partner that doesn’t know about it?

If you refer to my post, I would class a swinger as someone who, goes to clubs, socials and actively contributes to the scene.

Therefore, the answer is yes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/21 21:40:19]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To answer your question, cheating is cheating and swinging is swinging.

The ops question was: Can you be a swinger if you have a partner that doesn’t know about it?

If you refer to my post, I would class a swinger as someone who, goes to clubs, socials and actively contributes to the scene.

Therefore, the answer is yes

We notice you say that you "would class a swinger as..."

Wrong. He is simply a cheat who goes to swingers clubs.

So in your figuring, a woman who goes to a Working Mens Club and then buys a drink makes her a man??

Curious view.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Loving the answers here, I get that it’s cheating, but can’t I be a cheating swinger? Ruffling a few feathers I know but fully understanding some points of view of many on here

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By *JJJJxMan over a year ago

Cardiff

A really interesting thread. The Cambridge dictionary definition of a swinger is “someone who is willing to have sex often with many different people”. I’d go along with this. Many people are suggesting swinging is exclusively for couples, but that’s just not the case. Indeed, as a couple of people have already pointed out, if you took the singles and those playing away, away from the site, it would be a far emptier and far duller place. It’s each to their own in my opinion: everyone has their own reasons for being here, and the choice of who to meet and not to meet. There’s no need for anyone to be either judgemental or judged, just don’t interact with those you don’t fancy or agree with. Simple Jx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Granted, butt its still Infidelity If the other in the relationship knows nothing about it! If the shoe was one the other foot would you see that as cheating? Why not just be honest... you never know, your partner might be up for it too!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Loving the answers here, I get that it’s cheating, but can’t I be a cheating swinger? Ruffling a few feathers I know but fully understanding some points of view of many on here"

We honestly feel sorry for your wife.

A husband who decides for her that she cannot make a choice.

Sad.

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

"Granted, butt its still Infidelity If the other in the relationship knows nothing about it! If the shoe was one the other foot would you see that as cheating? Why not just be honest... you never know, your partner might be up for it too!"

Did you tell your wife before you signed up?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Loving the answers here, I get that it’s cheating, but can’t I be a cheating swinger? Ruffling a few feathers I know but fully understanding some points of view of many on here

We honestly feel sorry for your wife.

A husband who decides for her that she cannot make a choice.

Sad."

Would need a good conversation with you to explain properly, I mean she knows I regularly go dogging, her limits are to have a blow job only, but in the moment I’ve obviously done more, I mean she’s been to the spot once or twice with me herself, so she knows about that, but doesn’t know about me on here etc etc

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Loving the answers here, I get that it’s cheating, but can’t I be a cheating swinger? Ruffling a few feathers I know but fully understanding some points of view of many on here

We honestly feel sorry for your wife.

A husband who decides for her that she cannot make a choice.

Sad.

That's cool and she sounds understanding.

Why not just stick to her limits? ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Loving the answers here, I get that it’s cheating, but can’t I be a cheating swinger? Ruffling a few feathers I know but fully understanding some points of view of many on here

We honestly feel sorry for your wife.

A husband who decides for her that she cannot make a choice.

Sad.

Have to ask.

How do you accommodate?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Loving the answers here, I get that it’s cheating, but can’t I be a cheating swinger? Ruffling a few feathers I know but fully understanding some points of view of many on here

We honestly feel sorry for your wife.

A husband who decides for her that she cannot make a choice.

Sad.

Have to ask.

How do you accommodate? "

Friends house, not yet happened though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Loving the answers here, I get that it’s cheating, but can’t I be a cheating swinger? Ruffling a few feathers I know but fully understanding some points of view of many on here

We honestly feel sorry for your wife.

A husband who decides for her that she cannot make a choice.

Sad.

Have to ask.

How do you accommodate?

Friends house, not yet happened though"

Is he married as well?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Could not have put it better

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You’d never know if they had a partner anyway your just going on trust unfortunately

Thats why we are looking to play with married cpls only. Saves the guilt for us finding out we played with a married woman/guy playing away.

Can’t people also lie about being married???? "

Yes but a lot harder. body language gives them away.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Loving the answers here, I get that it’s cheating, but can’t I be a cheating swinger? Ruffling a few feathers I know but fully understanding some points of view of many on here

We honestly feel sorry for your wife.

A husband who decides for her that she cannot make a choice.

Sad.

Have to ask.

How do you accommodate?

Friends house, not yet happened though

Is he married as well? "

This is all sounding a bit far fetched

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By *rolicerMan over a year ago

Abergele

"...

You realise that it’s your significant other who has fucked at least 30 people........ would you smile and say to yourself ‘well it’s only swinging, she hasn’t cheated on me’ "

Now you know why so many want a face picture, lol.

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By *pertureTV/TS over a year ago

New Ferry, wirral in stockings and sussies

"Weird the ‘single’ men get grief about meets on here but single women can’t do no wrong x"

this

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By *lease300Woman over a year ago

merthyr

"You’d never know if they had a partner anyway your just going on trust unfortunately

Thats why we are looking to play with married cpls only. Saves the guilt for us finding out we played with a married woman/guy playing away.

Can’t people also lie about being married????

Yes but a lot harder. body language gives them away. "

Lol ok

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

"You’d never know if they had a partner anyway your just going on trust unfortunately

Thats why we are looking to play with married cpls only. Saves the guilt for us finding out we played with a married woman/guy playing away.

Can’t people also lie about being married????

Yes but a lot harder. body language gives them away. "

I’m really not sure about that lol. But also, you seem to be saying you wouldn’t meet an unmarried couple who lives together?

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By *irty PrettyWoman over a year ago

Cardiff

Genuine question for the “I wouldn’t meet a cheat” folks - if you go to clubs or parties, how do you ensure that anyone you play with there is either 100% single, or (if a couple) a “real couple?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Genuine question for the “I wouldn’t meet a cheat” folks - if you go to clubs or parties, how do you ensure that anyone you play with there is either 100% single, or (if a couple) a “real couple?"

Your pics are fantastic, I can't message you I am too old! ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I’ve pulled of as single a couple of times, only when the questions not asked of course, and being honest I’ve met a few that is ok with it when I mentioned that I am in a relationship, but on _rofile or message there not happy with that x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Being honest? ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A curious question.

Why do you feel the need to cheat?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In clubs all you can really do is ask and we do ask.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

A curious question.

Why do you feel the need to cheat?"

If I’m answering honestly, it’s greed I guess, and like the thrill

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By *ogerBottomsMan over a year ago

Aberdare

I'd probably ask her if she likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A curious question.

Why do you feel the need to cheat?

If I’m answering honestly, it’s greed I guess, and like the thrill"

Nice.

The honest answer from most cheats on here probably.

What has your partner done to deserve this?

Too tired to give you enough sex??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This thread should come with a 'trigger' warning and a 'may require popcorn' notice....

To the OP: of course you can be a swinger if your partner isn't one. But my opinion is that any actions that are not 'permitted' (or consented to) by the partner as acceptable behavior within the boundaries of the relationship would then be cheating/infidelity.

The fact that someone is single also does not discount them as a 'swinger' either. There are plenty of single people on here who are single and very much in the lifestyle (when Covid wasn't a thing) and are appreciated by non-single people about it.

I can't believe I of all people get to say this but nobody's opinion is any more valid than anyone else's. If you don't like someone's reasoning, or motives, or justifications or anything else that you disagree with, then simply accept it and don't meet them

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