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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
Yes, we’ve had a couple of three ways.
Whether they work depends on a lot of things from how “Poly” they/you are as with many a couple wanting a third to join is not true Poly where you would have separate friends.
We are between the two in as much as neither of us want a purely one/one with someone else, though at the same time if a third is happy with seeing us separately as well as together then after a while we are also happy for that to happen.
We don’t just meet for sex either, with our last gf, we went for days out, shopping etc. Cinema was good as there’s films that as a couple we wouldn’t go too (H hates gore for instance) so I would go with our gf & the ladies would go off for the day or weekend to fae events etc.
It can work though it rarely works for a very long time.
Good luck finding it on here though, we gave up long ago.
S |
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By *pltoplayCouple
over a year ago
castleford |
Only works if it's 2 fem 1 male or 2 males and 1 fem.
Me, my partner found another couple to join us and we gave the poly relationship ago. Failed for me (Lou) it didn't help that the other guy didn't make time for me but my partner made time for other lady, I ended it after the other lady was taking too much time away for me and my children. I did ask her to stop expecting him to text 24.7 but she didn't respect that. |
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They certainly can work, I know a triad (I personally dislike "throuple" as do most people in the poly community) which recently celebrated 22 years living together.
There are numerous pitfalls. Most media depictions of polyamory are a MF couple who find a second woman to join them. In reality, most established couples actually practising polyamory date separately. There are very few triads and quads. And setting out "to find our third" is fraught with issues and will be met my friction from those within the community due to past experiences.
In all honesty it's best to explore relationships with other people and if a triad forms naturally that's great. Setting out to find a third person is playing in hard mode in the poly world. But if you do go this route, always remember you're looking for a human being and not a set of tick-boxes.
Remember the odds are against you, and be prepared to be very patient. Let's say you're a MF couple looking for a woman. You're looking for someone accepting of ethical non-monogamy...that maybe cuts out 80% of the population. You're looking for a woman...that cuts out another 51%. You're looking for a woman who's bisexual and biromantic...that perhaps cuts down to 30% or less of your already reduced dating pool. You're looking for someone who's attracted to the male in the existing couple...let's be generous and say 50% of the reduced pool. And that woman must also be attracted to the female in the original couple.
The odds really aren't good, couples often start down this road very excited and end up frustrated when nothing has happened after two years. Or settle for someone who isn't "the perfect third" and end up causing damage to all the relationships.
Also remember that in a relationship between three people A, B and C you have...
The original relationship A and B
The relationship between A and C
The relationship between B and C
The relationship with A B and C
All four of those relationships need nurturing and tending. Recognise that at times one partner might need alone time. Recognise that there will be times when two of the three want time together without the third. Recognise that the new person in the relationship has needs and ensure they're heard and considered.
There are lots of poly resources out there...some visible facebook groups which you can join and if you engage in conversation you'll find yourself invited to local groups which are often not visible. The website "more than two" is very useful and you might consider the accompanying book. In non-plague times I run two poly socials a month in London, we're currently offering a Discord server covering the whole UK for poly discussion and virtual meets. |
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"Only works if it's 2 fem 1 male or 2 males and 1 fem.
"
As someone who has been active in the UK poly community for well over a decade, I don't have the first clue where you get that idea.
I know triads with three men, or where one or more persons are non-binary and so on. It's not limited to any gender configuration. |
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"Its something I (mrs) has looked into, I think we as a couple would consider it if the right person came along.  "
Same. Something I’m on the lookout for and keen to experience the day to day dynamic, both sexual or otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're a Poly couple we both have other, previously regular partners & we're all aware of each other, but we consider ourselves to be the primary relationship. Unfortunately the current situation has completely changed all that but we're ready to get back at it when we're allowed X |
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By *onb21Woman
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"We've been talking about a thruple relationship and may look to enter one with another lady when said lady is found. Anyone in one at the moment. Is there any issues etc. "
I considered it once but they changed their mind, I think. I hope you find your lady : ) |
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