We all live in fear of the dreaded Sti... No one admits to having had one. Most aside from a few are curable, course of antibiotics and your sound!
Why the shame? It's literally in most cases no worse than catching an infection (we don't get that upset about pink eye). So why the horror about a standard infection if it's in your neither regions? |
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By (user no longer on site) 23 weeks ago
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People are embarrassed on here, in my honest opinion, because of generational differences. People in my generation talk about things more freely in my experience. |
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"People are embarrassed on here, in my honest opinion, because of generational differences. People in my generation talk about things more freely in my experience. "
I get this! My daughter 25, got roped in to doing a pregnancy test, of her child minder 17,the other week... She was crying that she wasn't preggo, after a one night stand... We all 2 generations told her to not be a daft cunt!  |
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There’s no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex. If we’re going to have sex with other people then there is an inherent risk. It’s just responsible that we all test.
Part of that risk is that we might catch something that is completely treatable.we don’t bother about a cold, so why are we so hung up about chlamydia? |
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"There’s no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex. If we’re going to have sex with other people then there is an inherent risk. It’s just responsible that we all test.
Part of that risk is that we might catch something that is completely treatable.we don’t bother about a cold, so why are we so hung up about chlamydia? "
I totally agree with this. We can take a weeks worth of antibiotics for a mouth abscess and nobody bats an eye... A prescription of antibiotics for an sti? Then you're 'dirty' |
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"Maybe because most are pretty preventable & folk feel daft for being caught out? I dont really know, as I've never had one.  "
Good for you at your age. I've always been safe sex, and still caught chlymdia in my 20s, because shit happens, and I wasn't even promiscuous. But that's life and course of tablets cleared it up  |
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"Maybe because most are pretty preventable & folk feel daft for being caught out? I dont really know, as I've never had one.
Good for you at your age. I've always been safe sex, and still caught chlymdia in my 20s, because shit happens, and I wasn't even promiscuous. But that's life and course of tablets cleared it up "
Probs 'cos I wasn't promiscuous til my 40's!
But otherwise, yeah. Just safe - or as safe as it can be - I guess. To be fair though, in my younger days I was more worried about pregnancy - at least I don't need to worry about that now x |
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"There’s no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex. If we’re going to have sex with other people then there is an inherent risk. It’s just responsible that we all test.
Part of that risk is that we might catch something that is completely treatable.we don’t bother about a cold, so why are we so hung up about chlamydia? "
The trouble is a lot of these diseases are now becoming resistant to the antimicrobial agents used to treat them.. |
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"We all live in fear of the dreaded Sti... No one admits to having had one. Most aside from a few are curable, course of antibiotics and your sound!
Why the shame? It's literally in most cases no worse than catching an infection (we don't get that upset about pink eye). So why the horror about a standard infection if it's in your neither regions? "
I think the key thing you said here OP is that most… aside from a few… are curable.
Those that aren’t can have life changing consequences.
Having safer sex and testing regularly is easy. I choose to do that  |
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"Hmmm, I'm not gonna become infertile from a cold, though. "
That unlikely to be a problem for potential meets on a swinger's site though?
But to answer, if anything those that admit it are showing they test when I'd garner many don't, esp as several infections can be asymptomatic for years. |
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We test regularly and advise playmates to do the same.
We’ve lost ‘friends’ when we’ve been the grown up hosts and announced an STI had been received by one of our party guests.
Can’t abide the attitude of people hiding from something, especially when asymptomatic and continuing to meet.
On the whole, tests are free and easy. Only sensible thing to do if you are ethically non-monogamous..
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I finally went into the clinic to get my blood drawn. I can never collect enough blood on the home tests so I'll just do a walk in from now on as the nastier STIs only show up in a blood test. Be safe out there people. |
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"I think we need a little STI shame, if people just didn't give a fuck, more people would ditch the condoms, therefore more STIs for everybody and there's some you have to live with forever! "
Couldn't agree more with this.
Best speed limiter is the smiley/ sad face with your speed flashed up for all behind to see. It slows you down, does the job intended.
If no shame them people would simply ignore their state and share them around without recourse.
Like speed they can have life changing consequences for others unintentionally. |
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"We test regularly and advise playmates to do the same.
We’ve lost ‘friends’ when we’ve been the grown up hosts and announced an STI had been received by one of our party guests.
Can’t abide the attitude of people hiding from something, especially when asymptomatic and continuing to meet.
On the whole, tests are free and easy. Only sensible thing to do if you are ethically non-monogamous..
"
That's really unfortunate but probably best in long run. What you do/did is the right thing. I had a situation at a party where someone took it off and started without the girls knowledge. I intervened as host and the response was by him, I wasn't thinking. Like fuck he wasn't! Fortunately the girl and partner and others agreed with me. She and her partner were in a bit of a state of worry for about 8 weeks until two tests came back clear. Obviously it effected their own normal play too. The guy was simply black listed within our group of friends. |
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"There’s no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex. If we’re going to have sex with other people then there is an inherent risk. It’s just responsible that we all test.
Part of that risk is that we might catch something that is completely treatable.we don’t bother about a cold, so why are we so hung up about chlamydia? "
Precisely this.
I don't see the issue at all.
I test and I am as sensible as I can be and would not put others at risk knowingly.
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"Hmmm, I'm not gonna become infertile from a cold, though. "
If you are testing regularly then it will be flagged up and treated at testing.
It's when it is left untested and untreated that you run the risk of infertility. |
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"Maybe because most are pretty preventable & folk feel daft for being caught out? I dont really know, as I've never had one. "
They'd only be preventable by condom use and dental dams for any oral sex and to avoid close body contact and kissing also.
Realistically, most people do not adhere to that.
Safe sex is not really possible, only safer sex.
The only truly safe sex would be absolutely none.
We have to accept that regular testing is our best protection otherwise. |
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"There’s no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex. If we’re going to have sex with other people then there is an inherent risk. It’s just responsible that we all test.
Part of that risk is that we might catch something that is completely treatable.we don’t bother about a cold, so why are we so hung up about chlamydia? "
Makes females infertile if left too long and me can get didinitus infecting the balls. |
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You can still catch all kinds of STI with condoms bc most people either do not know their size and/or know how to use them properly. They get ripped and split sometimes and somewhat ineffective if the lady is a massive squirter for example.
Best way to stay safe (that served me very well actually) is to play with responsible partners who test regularly and do not get offended when you ask basic sexual health questions. |
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"You can still catch all kinds of STI with condoms bc most people either do not know their size and/or know how to use them properly. They get ripped and split sometimes and somewhat ineffective if the lady is a massive squirter for example.
Best way to stay safe (that served me very well actually) is to play with responsible partners who test regularly and do not get offended when you ask basic sexual health questions. "
Indeed defo check your rubbers wrap it up so less chance but no guarantee
Makes females infertile if left too long and men can get didinitus infecting the balls.
Only thing you can loose ur balls if badly infected take care |
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Infertility is skyrocketing and we have friends who are struggling to get pregnant. Doctor says it’s probably due to STIs that was never diagnosed and disappeared by itself after a few years.
Shame that something easy to cure was never diagnosed and left infertility in its tracks. We use the zults app, used to be iPlaySafe but it’s free now, that connects with SHLs free tests. Condom is still a must, but oral chlamydia and gonorrhoea is common enough to worry about. |
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"You can still catch all kinds of STI with condoms bc most people either do not know their size and/or know how to use them properly. They get ripped and split sometimes and somewhat ineffective if the lady is a massive squirter for example.
Best way to stay safe (that served me very well actually) is to play with responsible partners who test regularly and do not get offended when you ask basic sexual health questions.
Indeed defo check your rubbers wrap it up so less chance but no guarantee
Makes females infertile if left too long and men can get didinitus infecting the balls.
Only thing you can loose ur balls if badly infected take care"
Do you mean epididymitis? |
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"You can still catch all kinds of STI with condoms bc most people either do not know their size and/or know how to use them properly. They get ripped and split sometimes and somewhat ineffective if the lady is a massive squirter for example.
Best way to stay safe (that served me very well actually) is to play with responsible partners who test regularly and do not get offended when you ask basic sexual health questions.
Indeed defo check your rubbers wrap it up so less chance but no guarantee
Makes females infertile if left too long and men can get didinitus infecting the balls.
Only thing you can loose ur balls if badly infected take care
Do you mean epididymitis?"
No testie didinitus |
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"I finally went into the clinic to get my blood drawn. I can never collect enough blood on the home tests so I'll just do a walk in from now on as the nastier STIs only show up in a blood test. Be safe out there people."
It’s a bugger getting enough blood for the home tests
- little prick from a tiny sharp bit of wire whilst fannying about in the workshop - half a litre of blood on the floor, a soaked bath towel and still hasn’t stopped bleeding 5 hrs later….
When you NEED blood…
- Hot shower as recommended, wipey wiped fleshy part of middle finger, brave boy face pushing in the designed for purpose surgical spring loaded lancet… then…. fuck all!, a tiny bead of red and then… nothing! Come on bastard finger.. bleed! FFS!
Very frustrating  |
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"You can still catch all kinds of STI with condoms bc most people either do not know their size and/or know how to use them properly. They get ripped and split sometimes and somewhat ineffective if the lady is a massive squirter for example.
Best way to stay safe (that served me very well actually) is to play with responsible partners who test regularly and do not get offended when you ask basic sexual health questions.
Indeed defo check your rubbers wrap it up so less chance but no guarantee
Makes females infertile if left too long and men can get didinitus infecting the balls.
Only thing you can loose ur balls if badly infected take care
Do you mean epididymitis?
No testie didinitus"
Cannot find it |
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"I think we need a little STI shame, if people just didn't give a fuck, more people would ditch the condoms, therefore more STIs for everybody and there's some you have to live with forever! "
100% This
Yeah just get gonorrhea
Oh it’s only a puss leaky cock
Who cares
No take the meds and get rid - yes
But feel fucking embarrassed and shit scared and ashamed
Maybe learn to not just stick it anywhere it will fit with no protection from now on |
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"We all live in fear of the dreaded Sti... No one admits to having had one. Most aside from a few are curable, course of antibiotics and your sound!
Why the shame? It's literally in most cases no worse than catching an infection (we don't get that upset about pink eye). So why the horror about a standard infection if it's in your neither regions? "
I caught Chlamydia about 8 years ago
Single dose of antibiotic and it was sorted
I find it strange if grown up adults find that a difficult topic tbh |
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"I think we need a little STI shame, if people just didn't give a fuck, more people would ditch the condoms, therefore more STIs for everybody and there's some you have to live with forever!
100% This
Yeah just get gonorrhea
Oh it’s only a puss leaky cock
Who cares
No take the meds and get rid - yes
But feel fucking embarrassed and shit scared and ashamed
Maybe learn to not just stick it anywhere it will fit with no protection from now on "
Trouble is too many of those who stick it wherever they want aren’t embarrassed or ashamed and never learn no matter who they put at risk including themselves, as long as they get their fuck fix  |
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"We all live in fear of the dreaded Sti... No one admits to having had one. Most aside from a few are curable, course of antibiotics and your sound!
Why the shame? It's literally in most cases no worse than catching an infection (we don't get that upset about pink eye). So why the horror about a standard infection if it's in your neither regions? "
Back in the day, it was called galloping knob rot |
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"Antibiotic resistance STI and HIV, that should be enough to make people stop and think but going by the cream pie posts I don't think it does. STI rates in the elderly age groups have doubled. "
"Antibiotic resistance HIV" ?
What nonsense is that?
HIV medication is incredibly advanced these days with maintenance treatments and PrEP for avoiding infection.
Antibiotics are nothing to do with it at all.
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By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
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" I've always been safe sex, and still caught chlymdia in my 20s, because shit happens, and I wasn't even promiscuous. But that's life and course of tablets cleared it up "
Some people think safe sex just means wearing a condom for penetration. But you can still catch chlamydia, gonorrhoea, and syphilis from oral sex. The risk is higher for the receptive partner, which is most often women.
On fab you will sometimes see pictures of people wearing condoms for penetrative sex, but you'll never see a condom being worn for oral sex. |
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By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
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" "Antibiotic resistance HIV" ?
What nonsense is that?
HIV medication is incredibly advanced these days with maintenance treatments and PrEP for avoiding infection.
Antibiotics are nothing to do with it at all.
"
Also, HIV is caused by a virus not bacteria, so antibiotics can't be used to treat it. That is part of the reason why it is so problematic. |
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"Antibiotic resistance STI and HIV, that should be enough to make people stop and think but going by the cream pie posts I don't think it does. STI rates in the elderly age groups have doubled.
"Antibiotic resistance HIV" ?
What nonsense is that?
HIV medication is incredibly advanced these days with maintenance treatments and PrEP for avoiding infection.
Antibiotics are nothing to do with it at all.
"
Read again, I said antibiotic resistant STI and HIV, the latter being viral therefore antibiotics wouldn't work. "The effectiveness of first-line treatment for gonorrhoea continues to be threatened by antimicrobial resistance, particularly given the recent reports of mainly travel-associated ceftriaxone resistance in England.....". Both Chlamydia and syphilis are also started to show resistance to treatment.
New HIV infections amongst heterosexuals rose by 14% in London between 2021-22 and HIV related deaths in the UK is still occuring. There is also a high percentage of HIV infected patients not presenting until infection was advanced. |
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"Antibiotic resistance STI and HIV, that should be enough to make people stop and think but going by the cream pie posts I don't think it does. STI rates in the elderly age groups have doubled. "
HIV isn't antibiotic resistance -just being pedantic  |
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"Antibiotic resistance STI and HIV, that should be enough to make people stop and think but going by the cream pie posts I don't think it does. STI rates in the elderly age groups have doubled.
"Antibiotic resistance HIV" ?
What nonsense is that?
HIV medication is incredibly advanced these days with maintenance treatments and PrEP for avoiding infection.
Antibiotics are nothing to do with it at all.
Read again, I said antibiotic resistant STI and HIV, the latter being viral therefore antibiotics wouldn't work. "The effectiveness of first-line treatment for gonorrhoea continues to be threatened by antimicrobial resistance, particularly given the recent reports of mainly travel-associated ceftriaxone resistance in England.....". Both Chlamydia and syphilis are also started to show resistance to treatment.
New HIV infections amongst heterosexuals rose by 14% in London between 2021-22 and HIV related deaths in the UK is still occuring. There is also a high percentage of HIV infected patients not presenting until infection was advanced. "
Read again, without a comma after STI, you are addressing both as resistant to antibiotics. |
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I think we all have a duty to play safer. Use condoms correctly, correct lube and also have open snd honest conversations with partners.
Most bacterial STIs are curable. Yes we are seeing antibiotic resistance mainly with gonorrhea and some strains of syphilis.
HIV isn't the death sentence it used to be. There are some remarkable scientists and healthcare staff that have invented PrEp which taken consistently can minimise exposure. You can also have PEP if you think you have exposed to HIV within 72hrs. And the ART tablets Antiviral meds now can make you undectable = untransmittable. It's amazing!!!
Just remember be safe but have fun!
I think STIs will always be a hush hush conversation and judgement because society sees it as dirty. But if we can talk then we can normalise it - could help prevent further transmissions. |
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By (user no longer on site) 22 weeks ago
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Yes. STDs are also associated with sexual promiscuity which is frowned upon. Sickness, whether it is a mental illness or a physical illness, will always carry a stigma. |
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A lot of people on fab are attached and unable to be open with their partners about their Fabbing activity
Getting an STI would be reckless/irresponsible and hard to explain, hence the desire to avoid one at all cost.
Hardly rocket science |
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I think also that people forget that 95% (or maybe 98%) of cases of abnormal smears and therefore cervical cancer is caused by one of the high risk HPV strains. I had high grade abnormal cells removed 5 years ago and fingers crossed all clear since. But yea the majority are caused by HPV which is sexually transmitted. Kinda weird that people still find it taboo as it is very very common  |
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By *obletonMan 21 weeks ago
A Home Among The Woodland Creatures |
"There’s no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex. If we’re going to have sex with other people then there is an inherent risk. It’s just responsible that we all test.
Part of that risk is that we might catch something that is completely treatable.we don’t bother about a cold, so why are we so hung up about chlamydia? "
Very true.
A few years ago I had an excruciatingly painful eye infection in both eyes.
My GP was at a loss so I was bounced to the eye specialist at my local hospital.
He was pretty baffled too but went for a long shot.
"Have you had any new sexual partners lately"
I said yes (though I neglected to mention that I'd been to a party about a week before and had about 4 )
I was then sent to the GU clinic to be tested for Chlamydia ..... in my eyes!
It's rare but it can happen apparently.
And a condom ain't going to protect you from it.
Turned out that it was just a case of H. Simplex - super rare to get in both eyes simultaneously and rarely sexually transmitted - but you live and learn. |
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"There’s no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex. If we’re going to have sex with other people then there is an inherent risk. It’s just responsible that we all test.
Part of that risk is that we might catch something that is completely treatable.we don’t bother about a cold, so why are we so hung up about
chlamydia? "
had chlamydia recently after a home test local clinic rang and looked after me brilliantly retested now all clear need to let partners know as well so they can get treatment if needed |
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"We all live in fear of the dreaded Sti... No one admits to having had one. Most aside from a few are curable, course of antibiotics and your sound!
Why the shame? It's literally in most cases no worse than catching an infection (we don't get that upset about pink eye). So why the horror about a standard infection if it's in your neither regions? "
I find it a bit baffling myself. I play safe with everyone and still get regular tests for piece of mind but that's also because I have no immune system and I've been told soooo many times I'm a higher risk of catching things.
I caught the clap for the first time early this year - as I always use protection I can only assume it was via oral which was a shock.
But I didn't feel any shame in it, it's kind of part of the calculated risk we all take engaging in this lifestyle or just with any individual.
But even going forward - there's no way I'd be putting a condom on someone to give them oral, the taste and sensation would put me off so I'll take the little risk and keep up with my tests.
Just had results back from my recent one and all clear so I'm happy |
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"You can still catch all kinds of STI with condoms bc most people either do not know their size and/or know how to use them properly. They get ripped and split sometimes and somewhat ineffective if the lady is a massive squirter for example.
Best way to stay safe (that served me very well actually) is to play with responsible partners who test regularly and do not get offended when you ask basic sexual health questions.
Indeed defo check your rubbers wrap it up so less chance but no guarantee
Makes females infertile if left too long and men can get didinitus infecting the balls.
Only thing you can loose ur balls if badly infected take care
Do you mean epididymitis?"
I developed epididymitis (not caused by an STI) and trust me, you'd know you have it! I was lucky it was cured and it didn't make me infertile. |
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"Hmmm, I'm not gonna become infertile from a cold, though. "
I think your being a little bit HARSH here. You can wear a condom and still get HPV as any skin to skin contact passes on an STI. Plus condoms break,split. It happens.
The point is that people are embarrassed to go to the DR and judged as dirty but for other inf3ctions they are not. |
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We've recently done our testing, all came back clear (apart from my blood sample as it took so long to fill the vial up it clotted, I'm terrible for getting bloods).
I recall once, Rubik was asked once why he also does the blood test as he isn't bi, which seemed a bit of a backwards thing to say, if it's available and you are sexually active, wouldn't it be better to check everything and have that piece of mind? |
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By *orny PTMan 20 weeks ago
Peterborough |
"I think we need a little STI shame, if people just didn't give a fuck, more people would ditch the condoms, therefore more STIs for everybody and there's some you have to live with forever! "
Shame? Like the shame associated with bad breath and very bad teeth?
Some of this is down to poor lifestyle choices, side effects for other ailments and medication as well as a lack of available help.
Things like thrush aren't always caused by sex, too much chemical imbalance and harsh soaps can upset this particular hand cart. |
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"You can still catch all kinds of STI with condoms bc most people either do not know their size and/or know how to use them properly. They get ripped and split sometimes and somewhat ineffective if the lady is a massive squirter for example.
Best way to stay safe (that served me very well actually) is to play with responsible partners who test regularly and do not get offended when you ask basic sexual health questions.
Indeed defo check your rubbers wrap it up so less chance but no guarantee
Makes females infertile if left too long and men can get didinitus infecting the balls.
Only thing you can loose ur balls if badly infected take care
Do you mean epididymitis?
No testie didinitus
Cannot find it"
Sarcasticaly
 sorry for not knowing the correct term for this condition infection  |
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"There’s no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex. If we’re going to have sex with other people then there is an inherent risk. It’s just responsible that we all test.
Part of that risk is that we might catch something that is completely treatable.we don’t bother about a cold, so why are we so hung up about chlamydia? "
This is why I like talking a while before I meet, I'm trying to find out what kind of woman I'm meeting, you cantnalways tell like that but the signs are there |
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