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Son 'angry' at being moved away from mum at dad's funeral
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If anyone on this site thinks this is justified you have no compassion, the country is going to push back if things like this keep happening. We are becoming a sad society...
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-54431900 |
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"If anyone on this site thinks this is justified you have no compassion, the country is going to push back if things like this keep happening. We are becoming a sad society...
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-54431900"
Tbf they have admitted they were wrong and hopefully it wont happen again. |
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"If anyone on this site thinks this is justified you have no compassion, the country is going to push back if things like this keep happening. We are becoming a sad society...
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-54431900"
That is very sad. I guess the rule is there to make sure elderly vulnerable mum doesn't catch it and taken ill or worse but yes I'd dread to be in that situation. |
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The funeral home will get fined If they breach rules though, he said they were very clear on the rules to him, that hotel manager got fined £10,000 for breaching social distancing rules. Its a shame he couldn't be in a bubble with her and be able to comfort her throughout the funeral  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He and his brother had been living with her since he died, they had formed a bubble. Seriously I cannot believe people are trying to justify this in any shape or form! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i've been there in that situation, my dad passed away in april, didn't have funeral till a month later, I so wanted to hold my daughter who was crying and needed comfort as she was a young carer for him upto dad going into hospital. the thing is the grief i feel which i'm dealing with feels so hollow as it wasn't a proper goodbye, as we were only allowed 10 people |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"i've been there in that situation, my dad passed away in april, didn't have funeral till a month later, I so wanted to hold my daughter who was crying and needed comfort as she was a young carer for him upto dad going into hospital. the thing is the grief i feel which i'm dealing with feels so hollow as it wasn't a proper goodbye, as we were only allowed 10 people "
That’s desperately sad and it feels inhumane |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He and his brother had been living with her since he died, they had formed a bubble. Seriously I cannot believe people are trying to justify this in any shape or form!"
The whole covid situation has turned some people very cold towards others |
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"i've been there in that situation, my dad passed away in april, didn't have funeral till a month later, I so wanted to hold my daughter who was crying and needed comfort as she was a young carer for him upto dad going into hospital. the thing is the grief i feel which i'm dealing with feels so hollow as it wasn't a proper goodbye, as we were only allowed 10 people "
We lost our Dad early March and we were very fortunate in that we had a normal send off days before the lock down so you have our thoughts ..
Dread to think how it would have been with only ten there for us, having to tell which grandchildren sorry etc.. |
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"He and his brother had been living with her since he died, they had formed a bubble. Seriously I cannot believe people are trying to justify this in any shape or form!
The whole covid situation has turned some people very cold towards others "
Very cold full stop. For people on their own it can be really tough. It's a real challenge to keep spirits up and stay positive and kind. We can do it if we all help eachother a little more. |
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"He and his brother had been living with her since he died, they had formed a bubble. Seriously I cannot believe people are trying to justify this in any shape or form!
The whole covid situation has turned some people very cold towards others
Very cold full stop. For people on their own it can be really tough. It's a real challenge to keep spirits up and stay positive and kind. We can do it if we all help eachother a little more. "
Being kind to each other is disappearing more and more every day, people are scared of so much right now, they can't look past their own families. Jobs lost, homes lost, health worries, suicides, families destroyed, the pressure is immense on millions of people right now |
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"He and his brother had been living with her since he died, they had formed a bubble. Seriously I cannot believe people are trying to justify this in any shape or form!
The whole covid situation has turned some people very cold towards others "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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he looked like a big bloke.
which was a good job because im sure most people would of decked him.
people are upset and very emotional at time of grieving, supporting his mum someone tells him to move away?
bet he was a school bully as well that loves his job.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He and his brother had been living with her since he died, they had formed a bubble. Seriously I cannot believe people are trying to justify this in any shape or form!
The whole covid situation has turned some people very cold towards others
Very cold full stop. For people on their own it can be really tough. It's a real challenge to keep spirits up and stay positive and kind. We can do it if we all help eachother a little more. "
People have become so obsessed with death,figures and statistics they forget how to be kind and compassionate to other human beings |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
It is not quite as simple as that, the brothers were not living with their mum when their father died, it is unclear when the venue was told they were now living with their mum.
A spokesman said
"We ask funeral directors to let us know whether any chairs should be grouped in advance, and from now on this includes guests who are in the same household or bubbles, as well as people who need extra support."
It looks like there was a breakdown in communication somewhere down the line. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is very sad yes, because families all across Britain are separated in this way.. although not parted like this on the day.
My next door neighbor died during lockdown, I wasn't able to go to her funeral. I could only stand in my front garden for respect ( as did most of our street).
I think funerals restrictions are too harsh. |
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By *om girlCouple (FF)
over a year ago
South Yorkshire |
Its sad
But if my father died no one would make me move from my mum
Did they know if they was in bubble
Did they know if im her carer
And where is the common sense or compassion in these sad times..
so the person an arse and hand on heart i wouldn't move and No One would make me |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"It is not quite as simple as that, the brothers were not living with their mum when their father died, it is unclear when the venue was told they were now living with their mum.
A spokesman said
"We ask funeral directors to let us know whether any chairs should be grouped in advance, and from now on this includes guests who are in the same household or bubbles, as well as people who need extra support."
It looks like there was a breakdown in communication somewhere down the line."
Maybe it was still wrong to move them...how distressing for them all... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He and his brother had been living with her since he died, they had formed a bubble. Seriously I cannot believe people are trying to justify this in any shape or form!
The whole covid situation has turned some people very cold towards others
Very cold full stop. For people on their own it can be really tough. It's a real challenge to keep spirits up and stay positive and kind. We can do it if we all help eachother a little more. "
is it cold to think better no hug today then being back in a month for the mums funeral? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The sons had been living with her, since the dad died, so part of the same household."
but the funeral home were not aware of that... they forgot their crystal ball that day and did what they thought was right in the circumstances to their knowledge, now they have the full information they have apologised and improved process to make sure it doesnt happen again |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"The sons had been living with her, since the dad died, so part of the same household.
but the funeral home were not aware of that... they forgot their crystal ball that day and did what they thought was right in the circumstances to their knowledge, now they have the full information they have apologised and improved process to make sure it doesnt happen again "
Still uncalled for, they're part of the same family, no doubt they travelled in the same car. Maybe the funeral Directors could have asked the question about living arrangements...the 'bouncer' came in like a steam roller. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The sons had been living with her, since the dad died, so part of the same household.
but the funeral home were not aware of that... they forgot their crystal ball that day and did what they thought was right in the circumstances to their knowledge, now they have the full information they have apologised and improved process to make sure it doesnt happen again
Still uncalled for, they're part of the same family, no doubt they travelled in the same car. Maybe the funeral Directors could have asked the question about living arrangements...the 'bouncer' came in like a steam roller."
they've admitted it was uncalled for, apologised and changed process to make sure it doesn’t happen again
what is achieved by continuing to tut about it?
what more would you like them to do? do you have a spare rime machine hanging about doc? |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"The sons had been living with her, since the dad died, so part of the same household.
but the funeral home were not aware of that... they forgot their crystal ball that day and did what they thought was right in the circumstances to their knowledge, now they have the full information they have apologised and improved process to make sure it doesnt happen again
Still uncalled for, they're part of the same family, no doubt they travelled in the same car. Maybe the funeral Directors could have asked the question about living arrangements...the 'bouncer' came in like a steam roller.
they've admitted it was uncalled for, apologised and changed process to make sure it doesn’t happen again
what is achieved by continuing to tut about it?
what more would you like them to do? do you have a spare rime machine hanging about doc? "
It's a forum, people discuss stuff, no I don't have a rime machine, whatever that is... |
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"The apparent over-reaction to the virus seems ro be allowing "Control-Freakery" to flourish unchecked.
Not really as They apologised and said it wont happen again."
Agreed And let's not lose sight that I'm sure mistakes have been made at funerals in the past before we became obsessed with covid state that probably would not have merited national headlines. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"do you have a spare rime machine hanging about doc?
Samiss - I didn't realise you are a doctor. What is your area of specialism ? "
time travel apparently
_amiss
‘rime’ was typo for time ... fairly obvious in the context and given r is beside t on the keyboard... doc was a back to the future reference  . apparently forums are only for discussion not humour silly me |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"do you have a spare rime machine hanging about doc?
Samiss - I didn't realise you are a doctor. What is your area of specialism ?
time travel apparently
_amiss
‘rime’ was typo for time ... fairly obvious in the context and given r is beside t on the keyboard... doc was a back to the future reference . apparently forums are only for discussion not humour silly me "
Didn't get the reference to time travel...especially with the sensitivity of the subject... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"do you have a spare rime machine hanging about doc?
Samiss - I didn't realise you are a doctor. What is your area of specialism ? "
That was clearly a typo and a film reference.
You knew that but thought you'd have a dig. |
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"The apparent over-reaction to the virus seems ro be allowing "Control-Freakery" to flourish unchecked.
I would agree with this.
"
If if was unchecked why have they apologised and said it wont happen again? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The apparent over-reaction to the virus seems ro be allowing "Control-Freakery" to flourish unchecked.
I would agree with this.
If if was unchecked why have they apologised and said it wont happen again?"
Huh?
I was unchecked at the time though wasn't it, otherwise it wouldn't have happened. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"The apparent over-reaction to the virus seems ro be allowing "Control-Freakery" to flourish unchecked.
I would agree with this.
If if was unchecked why have they apologised and said it wont happen again?"
It shouldn't have happened in the first place.Anyone who has been bereaved, will know your head is all over the place. The funeral directors and crematorium staff should be, at this time, having a conversation with the family about their living arrangements. These 2 sons were living with their mother, why couldn't they sit with her from the start? |
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"The apparent over-reaction to the virus seems ro be allowing "Control-Freakery" to flourish unchecked.
I would agree with this.
If if was unchecked why have they apologised and said it wont happen again?
It shouldn't have happened in the first place.Anyone who has been bereaved, will know your head is all over the place. The funeral directors and crematorium staff should be, at this time, having a conversation with the family about their living arrangements. These 2 sons were living with their mother, why couldn't they sit with her from the start?"
No it shouldnt and it was unnecessary but they have apologised and said it wont happen again.
To say its going on "unchecked'is therefore nonsense surely? |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"The apparent over-reaction to the virus seems ro be allowing "Control-Freakery" to flourish unchecked.
I would agree with this.
If if was unchecked why have they apologised and said it wont happen again?
It shouldn't have happened in the first place.Anyone who has been bereaved, will know your head is all over the place. The funeral directors and crematorium staff should be, at this time, having a conversation with the family about their living arrangements. These 2 sons were living with their mother, why couldn't they sit with her from the start?
No it shouldnt and it was unnecessary but they have apologised and said it wont happen again.
To say its going on "unchecked'is therefore nonsense surely?"
It's to be seen whether it will happen again or not, unchecked or not.. |
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"The apparent over-reaction to the virus seems ro be allowing "Control-Freakery" to flourish unchecked.
I would agree with this.
If if was unchecked why have they apologised and said it wont happen again?
It shouldn't have happened in the first place.Anyone who has been bereaved, will know your head is all over the place. The funeral directors and crematorium staff should be, at this time, having a conversation with the family about their living arrangements. These 2 sons were living with their mother, why couldn't they sit with her from the start?
No it shouldnt and it was unnecessary but they have apologised and said it wont happen again.
To say its going on "unchecked'is therefore nonsense surely?
It's to be seen whether it will happen again or not, unchecked or not.."
Well if it does they may have a point. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I just hope the 'bouncer ' gets some training in how to be compassionate and deal with these situations, in the future...
It does seem to be a bit intrusive to be at a funeral tbf."
Let's say it could have been handled differently... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just hope the 'bouncer ' gets some training in how to be compassionate and deal with these situations, in the future...
It does seem to be a bit intrusive to be at a funeral tbf.
Let's say it could have been handled differently..."
which has been publicly admitted and apologised for already ... kinda flogging a dead horse here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just hope the 'bouncer ' gets some training in how to be compassionate and deal with these situations, in the future...
It does seem to be a bit intrusive to be at a funeral tbf.
Let's say it could have been handled differently...
which has been publicly admitted and apologised for already ... kinda flogging a dead horse here "
or is a public flogging of the staff member what you are hoping for? you said you didn’t get the time travel reference so they cant go back in time and fix it and have already made amends and made sure not to happen again ... what else would you like to happen? |
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"I just hope the 'bouncer ' gets some training in how to be compassionate and deal with these situations, in the future...
It does seem to be a bit intrusive to be at a funeral tbf.
Let's say it could have been handled differently...
which has been publicly admitted and apologised for already ... kinda flogging a dead horse here
or is a public flogging of the staff member what you are hoping for? you said you didn’t get the time travel reference so they cant go back in time and fix it and have already made amends and made sure not to happen again ... what else would you like to happen? "
The last word and a round of applause perhaps |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I just hope the 'bouncer ' gets some training in how to be compassionate and deal with these situations, in the future...
It does seem to be a bit intrusive to be at a funeral tbf.
Let's say it could have been handled differently...
which has been publicly admitted and apologised for already ... kinda flogging a dead horse here
or is a public flogging of the staff member what you are hoping for? you said you didn’t get the time travel reference so they cant go back in time and fix it and have already made amends and made sure not to happen again ... what else would you like to happen?
The last word and a round of applause perhaps"
Yes I agree it's all a bit silly now.... |
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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago
Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’ |
I think the guidance on COVID is very vague at the best of times....
It implies a lot without saying anything concrete! Some of it can be open to your own interpretation despite Boris telling us constantly it's quite clear....
People advising us seem incapable of thinking "outside" the box or in a logical way!
Rule of 6? Sounds like something out of Harry Potter to me.
You are wearing a mask; wearing gloves. People are down to 30 attending. If you need to comfort someone do so and both of you isolate for 14 days.
Trust they are infra-red gunning people at the door? If not why not?
Common sense and better knowledge for us all seems to be very lacking in my opinion. The Govt need to get better at giving it!!!!!   |
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"I think the guidance on COVID is very vague at the best of times....
It implies a lot without saying anything concrete! Some of it can be open to your own interpretation despite Boris telling us constantly it's quite clear....
People advising us seem incapable of thinking "outside" the box or in a logical way!
Rule of 6? Sounds like something out of Harry Potter to me.
You are wearing a mask; wearing gloves. People are down to 30 attending. If you need to comfort someone do so and both of you isolate for 14 days.
Trust they are infra-red gunning people at the door? If not why not?
Common sense and better knowledge for us all seems to be very lacking in my opinion. The Govt need to get better at giving it!!!!! "
Infrared zapping is pretty pointless as only 20 percent of infected are symptomatic.
It's not the govt that give common sense. Whatever rules any authority cook up. It is our responsibility to apply our own common sense of our own and our communities safety. We all know how it is transmitted, and we all know to keep our distance, and wash our hands and surfaces. Don't need a govt to tell me that. Just need people to stop moaning about inconsistencies and stop spreading the infection. |
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"The funeral home will get fined If they breach rules though, he said they were very clear on the rules to him, that hotel manager got fined £10,000 for breaching social distancing rules. Its a shame he couldn't be in a bubble with her and be able to comfort her throughout the funeral "
They probably wouldn't get a fine based on the situation, regards the hotel I know people who work there and they wanted to implement the rules but the management said NO!! There's no need as they were all one family and I quote didn't want to "offend there tradition" the hotel wanted money and didn't care for the cost of spreading the virus or the rules they absolutely deserve the fine. In respect of the funeral... compassion would of helped and it doesn't show this on the BBC website but the son actually drove in the vehicle with his mom to the funeral but wasn't allowed to sit with her ??? |
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"regards the hotel I know people who work there and they wanted to implement the rules but the management said NO!! There's no need as they were all one family and I quote didn't want to "offend there tradition" "
Are you talking about a different incident ? We are talking about Crownhill Crematorium, not a hotel. |
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"regards the hotel I know people who work there and they wanted to implement the rules but the management said NO!! There's no need as they were all one family and I quote didn't want to "offend there tradition"
Are you talking about a different incident ? We are talking about Crownhill Crematorium, not a hotel. "
Read the message connected to my message they mentioned the hotel that got fined |
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We buried my nan 3 weeks ago, yes we could only have 30 in church but the rest waited outside with the doors open so they could hear the service, no masks, but every other pew was off limits, the only difference were the funeral directors lowered the coffin into the grave straight away so the could move away to let family around the grave side and only 4 ppl in the funeral car and they had to wear masks while travelling, I saw this footage on twitter and it was wrong but I could also see it from both sides, cos it seemed like more ppl were going to move then they would all be sat together, yes they could have been a bubble but it also depends what the crem rules are, at our local crem we have 2 sides one has 30 ppl the other side only 10 |
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"We buried my nan 3 weeks ago, yes we could only have 30 in church but the rest waited outside with the doors open so they could hear the service, no masks, but every other pew was off limits, the only difference were the funeral directors lowered the coffin into the grave straight away so the could move away to let family around the grave side and only 4 ppl in the funeral car and they had to wear masks while travelling, I saw this footage on twitter and it was wrong but I could also see it from both sides, cos it seemed like more ppl were going to move then they would all be sat together, yes they could have been a bubble but it also depends what the crem rules are, at our local crem we have 2 sides one has 30 ppl the other side only 10 "
So sorry for your loss, seems to me that your funeral had some good sense and could see how important it was to a family to say goodbye. Think personally they should of showed compassion to needs. Difficult situation to be in. Maybe they all could communicate better between each other in the future |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"The funeral home will get fined If they breach rules though, he said they were very clear on the rules to him, that hotel manager got fined £10,000 for breaching social distancing rules. Its a shame he couldn't be in a bubble with her and be able to comfort her throughout the funeral
They probably wouldn't get a fine based on the situation, regards the hotel I know people who work there and they wanted to implement the rules but the management said NO!! There's no need as they were all one family and I quote didn't want to "offend there tradition" the hotel wanted money and didn't care for the cost of spreading the virus or the rules they absolutely deserve the fine. In respect of the funeral... compassion would of helped and it doesn't show this on the BBC website but the son actually drove in the vehicle with his mom to the funeral but wasn't allowed to sit with her ??? "
Yep, odd isn't it.... |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"We buried my nan 3 weeks ago, yes we could only have 30 in church but the rest waited outside with the doors open so they could hear the service, no masks, but every other pew was off limits, the only difference were the funeral directors lowered the coffin into the grave straight away so the could move away to let family around the grave side and only 4 ppl in the funeral car and they had to wear masks while travelling, I saw this footage on twitter and it was wrong but I could also see it from both sides, cos it seemed like more ppl were going to move then they would all be sat together, yes they could have been a bubble but it also depends what the crem rules are, at our local crem we have 2 sides one has 30 ppl the other side only 10 "
Sorry to hear about your nan...difficult times.. |
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"The funeral home will get fined If they breach rules though, he said they were very clear on the rules to him, that hotel manager got fined £10,000 for breaching social distancing rules. Its a shame he couldn't be in a bubble with her and be able to comfort her throughout the funeral
They probably wouldn't get a fine based on the situation, regards the hotel I know people who work there and they wanted to implement the rules but the management said NO!! There's no need as they were all one family and I quote didn't want to "offend there tradition" the hotel wanted money and didn't care for the cost of spreading the virus or the rules they absolutely deserve the fine. In respect of the funeral... compassion would of helped and it doesn't show this on the BBC website but the son actually drove in the vehicle with his mom to the funeral but wasn't allowed to sit with her ???
Yep, odd isn't it...."
Everything seems odd lately, just when you think you're getting a angle on things something else happens. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"The funeral home will get fined If they breach rules though, he said they were very clear on the rules to him, that hotel manager got fined £10,000 for breaching social distancing rules. Its a shame he couldn't be in a bubble with her and be able to comfort her throughout the funeral
They probably wouldn't get a fine based on the situation, regards the hotel I know people who work there and they wanted to implement the rules but the management said NO!! There's no need as they were all one family and I quote didn't want to "offend there tradition" the hotel wanted money and didn't care for the cost of spreading the virus or the rules they absolutely deserve the fine. In respect of the funeral... compassion would of helped and it doesn't show this on the BBC website but the son actually drove in the vehicle with his mom to the funeral but wasn't allowed to sit with her ???
Yep, odd isn't it....
Everything seems odd lately, just when you think you're getting a angle on things something else happens. "
I know...can't see things changing anytime soon... |
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