This is more of a complaint than a question, but I’d like some insight. I’ve been messaging women on Swingersite, mostly local to Edinburgh, about meetups. Honestly, it’s been frustrating. Most of my messages get deleted without a response, and the rare replies I do get are often odd—some even end with things like "happy fapping," which makes me think they’re automated.
What is it about me that women on this site don’t like? Is it because I look too young? I’m not traditionally masculine enough? Should I just give up and come back in 30 years when I "look the part"? I’m 33 but often get told I look much younger—like 18 or early 20s. People say things like, “Oh, you’re cute, why are you single?” but that doesn’t help when I can’t connect with anyone here.
I’ve tried tweaking my profile. I even created a new one with a better name because I thought the old one wasn’t working. The messages I send are consistent with my interests and kinks, but I feel like I’m still not ticking anyone’s boxes. I see profiles looking for straight, single, preferably younger guys, and I wonder why I don’t fit that description for them.
To be honest, I struggle with writing messages. I’ve even had to use ChatGPT to help me draft them. They say online platforms like this are great for introverts, but what good is that if introverts (like me) don’t know how to start conversations with women—especially when they’ve never had much success doing so before? It’s pretty depressing.
At this point, I’m considering giving up. Maybe I’ll wait until I’m 50 and look “mature” enough to be taken seriously. It feels like women my age are looking for someone more traditionally manly or financially established, and I just don’t fit that mold. I’m quiet, well-mannered, and act mature for my age—but apparently, that’s not what people want.
As for clubs, I’m contemplating whether to check out the After Dark Club in Edinburgh. The entry fees are steep—£20 for membership and £40 for men—and it feels like a gamble. Maybe that’s why there are more men than women at these places. Is it even worth it?
Anyway, just thought I’d put this out there. I’d appreciate hearing any thoughts or advice.  |
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