FabSwingers.com > Forums > UK > Where am I going wrong?
Where am I going wrong?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hello folks,
I joined 5 weeks ago. Im 100% single and not attached to anyone. I cant get positive response to any initial messages I send. Is the content in my profile wrong, or am I just too ugly to have any interest ftom females? How can I get verified if ive not had any socials/meets yet?
Cheers. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As you are happy to show face pics, maybe try posting a pic where you are smiling ? "
Sure, I can do that. I'll see how I get on with that. Thanks for the advice. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"5 weeks really is nothing for a single guy on here, maybe ask again in 5 months.
So many join expecting instant results just because people on here like "Sex". It just doesn't work like that."
Absolutely, I get what you say 100%. I just send the odd message to females or couples that spark an interest but either im just not what woman are looking for looks-wise, or the fact that ive not had any in person verifications, could be an issue too. Thanks for your input, I appreciate it. |
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"5 weeks really is nothing for a single guy on here, maybe ask again in 5 months.
So many join expecting instant results just because people on here like "Sex". It just doesn't work like that.
Absolutely, I get what you say 100%. I just send the odd message to females or couples that spark an interest but either im just not what woman are looking for looks-wise, or the fact that ive not had any in person verifications, could be an issue too. Thanks for your input, I appreciate it."
Also remember that Men probably outnumber Women by 100-1
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well you will only meet big busted slim ladies so there goes some of fab plus you are one in thousands of men on here all looking for the same thing"
Slim to average I like. I know im being pretty specific, but thats just what im attracted to. Dont get me wrong, some woman who are a wee bit on the heavier side are just as sexy if they carry it off well with nice legs and amazing boobs. Forgive me for saying but im just not into women who are overweight/fat. And I get that some guys do like that, its their thing.
Thanks for your input, im trying to find my way here still, so I do appreciate it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well you will only meet big busted slim ladies so there goes some of fab plus you are one in thousands of men on here all looking for the same thing"
Also, I forgot to say in my last message that I do have a kink/fetish that im sure all men dont have. But its finding a willing woman. Its not a kink/fetish that I would feel comfortable dropping into conversation with strangers. I know im probably in the minority with this kink/fetish because when it comes up in conversation in male company, most guys say they are not into it and its disgusting - however, its my thing and I think its just incredible! ?? |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Well you will only meet big busted slim ladies so there goes some of fab plus you are one in thousands of men on here all looking for the same thing
Also, I forgot to say in my last message that I do have a kink/fetish that im sure all men dont have. But its finding a willing woman. Its not a kink/fetish that I would feel comfortable dropping into conversation with strangers. I know im probably in the minority with this kink/fetish because when it comes up in conversation in male company, most guys say they are not into it and its disgusting - however, its my thing and I think its just incredible! ??"
I do think you need to be more honest about what you want in your profile |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well you will only meet big busted slim ladies so there goes some of fab plus you are one in thousands of men on here all looking for the same thing
Also, I forgot to say in my last message that I do have a kink/fetish that im sure all men dont have. But its finding a willing woman. Its not a kink/fetish that I would feel comfortable dropping into conversation with strangers. I know im probably in the minority with this kink/fetish because when it comes up in conversation in male company, most guys say they are not into it and its disgusting - however, its my thing and I think its just incredible! ??
I do think you need to be more honest about what you want in your profile "
Can you help me how to word it? |
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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Well you will only meet big busted slim ladies so there goes some of fab plus you are one in thousands of men on here all looking for the same thing
Also, I forgot to say in my last message that I do have a kink/fetish that im sure all men dont have. But its finding a willing woman. Its not a kink/fetish that I would feel comfortable dropping into conversation with strangers. I know im probably in the minority with this kink/fetish because when it comes up in conversation in male company, most guys say they are not into it and its disgusting - however, its my thing and I think its just incredible! ??
I do think you need to be more honest about what you want in your profile
Can you help me how to word it?"
Just word is as a preference which we all have rather than I want or need |
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The first thing is to create realistic expectations. It's different here to most sites and, especially, single men have to invest tons of time and effort to potentially get nothing. Certainly, without it, guys get little or nothing.
No reply = no interest. Most people are not compatible with most other people, so you have to expect that the majority won't be compatible or interested.
Your profile has to sell you. Any generic or vague text doesn't do that. Ignore the obvious or going into much, if any details on things that are not selling you.
Visit clubs and socials.
But overall, there's not unlimited clunge waiting for single men. Fix your expectations to become more realistic and give peace of mind |
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Go to the clubs for a proper meet and you will find loads of proper swingers there.90% of people on here are fake=twice the size in the flesh than they are in there pictures which are probably 10 years old anyway and the rest are just prick teasers who get off on winding people up!!! |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
It is a matter of people being attracted to you/interested in you. Just like you’ve stated your specific preferences, other people have theirs. So if they’re not attracted/interested in you, they won’t reply. It is a matter of keep going until you find a match. Easier said than done for most single guys, I know. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well you will only meet big busted slim ladies so there goes some of fab plus you are one in thousands of men on here all looking for the same thing
Also, I forgot to say in my last message that I do have a kink/fetish that im sure all men dont have. But its finding a willing woman. Its not a kink/fetish that I would feel comfortable dropping into conversation with strangers. I know im probably in the minority with this kink/fetish because when it comes up in conversation in male company, most guys say they are not into it and its disgusting - however, its my thing and I think its just incredible! ??
I do think you need to be more honest about what you want in your profile
Can you help me how to word it?
Just word is as a preference which we all have rather than I want or need"
Okay ill take another look at my profile and maybe to be so specific. Thanks again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The first thing is to create realistic expectations. It's different here to most sites and, especially, single men have to invest tons of time and effort to potentially get nothing. Certainly, without it, guys get little or nothing.
No reply = no interest. Most people are not compatible with most other people, so you have to expect that the majority won't be compatible or interested.
Your profile has to sell you. Any generic or vague text doesn't do that. Ignore the obvious or going into much, if any details on things that are not selling you.
Visit clubs and socials.
But overall, there's not unlimited clunge waiting for single men. Fix your expectations to become more realistic and give peace of mind "
Thanks, youre right, I do need to think more about expectations. And I would love to go to clubs and other swingers events, but I would prefer to go with someone first, as that would be my very first time. I dont know how confident and comfortable I feel going to a club or party night on my own. Cheers for your input, I appreciate it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Go to the clubs for a proper meet and you will find loads of proper swingers there.90% of people on here are fake=twice the size in the flesh than they are in there pictures which are probably 10 years old anyway and the rest are just prick teasers who get off on winding people up!!!"
Definitely, clubs are tbe way to go, but as I just replied there to someone above, I wouldnt feel confident going to my first ever club night on my own. Its quite a daunting prospect. Im definitely not shy, but I probably would be shy goinv to my very first club night on my own ?? Cheers for your advice, I appreciate it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It is a matter of people being attracted to you/interested in you. Just like you’ve stated your specific preferences, other people have theirs. So if they’re not attracted/interested in you, they won’t reply. It is a matter of keep going until you find a match. Easier said than done for most single guys, I know. "
Yes youre absolutely right. I mean I dont find it hard to get woman if im out on a night out, but im trying to find a woman here on FAB who enjoys the swinger lifestyle - if I had asked my ex-wife to go to a swinger party or club event, id have been divorced there and then. Whereas if I met a woman on here, theyre already involved in tbe scene so its just easier to continue on with tje shenanigans, if I make sense? But listen, I do appreciate your reply, thanks. |
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"It is a matter of people being attracted to you/interested in you. Just like you’ve stated your specific preferences, other people have theirs. So if they’re not attracted/interested in you, they won’t reply. It is a matter of keep going until you find a match. Easier said than done for most single guys, I know.
Yes youre absolutely right. I mean I dont find it hard to get woman if im out on a night out, but im trying to find a woman here on FAB who enjoys the swinger lifestyle - if I had asked my ex-wife to go to a swinger party or club event, id have been divorced there and then. Whereas if I met a woman on here, theyre already involved in tbe scene so its just easier to continue on with tje shenanigans, if I make sense? But listen, I do appreciate your reply, thanks."
You are better off just being brave and going to a club by yourself as so many are looming for that plus one to attend one with. If you're not ever looking to go by yourself it's quite likely you'll never go. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It is a matter of people being attracted to you/interested in you. Just like you’ve stated your specific preferences, other people have theirs. So if they’re not attracted/interested in you, they won’t reply. It is a matter of keep going until you find a match. Easier said than done for most single guys, I know.
Yes youre absolutely right. I mean I dont find it hard to get woman if im out on a night out, but im trying to find a woman here on FAB who enjoys the swinger lifestyle - if I had asked my ex-wife to go to a swinger party or club event, id have been divorced there and then. Whereas if I met a woman on here, theyre already involved in tbe scene so its just easier to continue on with tje shenanigans, if I make sense? But listen, I do appreciate your reply, thanks.
You are better off just being brave and going to a club by yourself as so many are looming for that plus one to attend one with. If you're not ever looking to go by yourself it's quite likely you'll never go."
Id be quite embarassed to go by myself. Is it the done thing for single guys to go to these events on their tod? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi OP, your profile is fine and good clear pics.
One word; Patience!
It takes time to become established on Fab. People are often wary of new profiles, they tend to appear then disappear fairly quickly when they realise Fab is not an instant gateway to sex.
If you’re in for the long haul (and it’s a great lifestyle) then give it time.
Keep posting in the forums.
Check out the swinging club forums/reviews in your area and join in on the threads.You’ll soon get to know people who go to them and it won’t feel as daunting going the first time. Many guys go by themselves, you’ll soon make friends.
Good luck 
Viv |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi OP, your profile is fine and good clear pics.
One word; Patience!
It takes time to become established on Fab. People are often wary of new profiles, they tend to appear then disappear fairly quickly when they realise Fab is not an instant gateway to sex.
If you’re in for the long haul (and it’s a great lifestyle) then give it time.
Keep posting in the forums.
Check out the swinging club forums/reviews in your area and join in on the threads.You’ll soon get to know people who go to them and it won’t feel as daunting going the first time. Many guys go by themselves, you’ll soon make friends.
Good luck
Viv"
Thanks Viv, much appreciated ?? |
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"It is a matter of people being attracted to you/interested in you. Just like you’ve stated your specific preferences, other people have theirs. So if they’re not attracted/interested in you, they won’t reply. It is a matter of keep going until you find a match. Easier said than done for most single guys, I know.
Yes youre absolutely right. I mean I dont find it hard to get woman if im out on a night out, but im trying to find a woman here on FAB who enjoys the swinger lifestyle - if I had asked my ex-wife to go to a swinger party or club event, id have been divorced there and then. Whereas if I met a woman on here, theyre already involved in tbe scene so its just easier to continue on with tje shenanigans, if I make sense? But listen, I do appreciate your reply, thanks.
You are better off just being brave and going to a club by yourself as so many are looming for that plus one to attend one with. If you're not ever looking to go by yourself it's quite likely you'll never go.
Id be quite embarassed to go by myself. Is it the done thing for single guys to go to these events on their tod?"
Totally normal, but it's important to go without expectations as you aren't guaranteed anything. |
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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
OP...there's a few issues with your profile. Your pics don't show you off - mirror shots aren't great. Try some self timer shots and vary them - casual clothes, something smart, tasteful nudes, one showing your dick (no more than one).
Edit your age range...18-99 looks like you're too lazy to edit it, or you'll genuinely do anyone.
Then expectations. No single woman will go to a club with you. They don't know you - they don't want to be tied to you all night, they don't want to feel like they're expected to play with you, they don't want to feel like they have to leave when you want to, or can't leave when they want to. Just go on your own - it'll cost a bit more as a single guy and there'll be a few nights/events not open to you, but without single guys a lot of us couples might not have anyone to play with!
Lastly....look at the numbers. We are a very ordinary couple but we can get ten offers per day, more if we put up a pic. That's 300 in a month. We meet no more than once per week, and half of those are people we've seen before. So we need two, maximum three new guys each month. So just 1% of those offers.
Single women have it worse. Char has her own profile on here and she gets the same 300 offers in a week and meets even fewer.
We don't know what your opening messages are, but that's where you need to start.
(Bry) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It is a matter of people being attracted to you/interested in you. Just like you’ve stated your specific preferences, other people have theirs. So if they’re not attracted/interested in you, they won’t reply. It is a matter of keep going until you find a match. Easier said than done for most single guys, I know.
Yes youre absolutely right. I mean I dont find it hard to get woman if im out on a night out, but im trying to find a woman here on FAB who enjoys the swinger lifestyle - if I had asked my ex-wife to go to a swinger party or club event, id have been divorced there and then. Whereas if I met a woman on here, theyre already involved in tbe scene so its just easier to continue on with tje shenanigans, if I make sense? But listen, I do appreciate your reply, thanks.
You are better off just being brave and going to a club by yourself as so many are looming for that plus one to attend one with. If you're not ever looking to go by yourself it's quite likely you'll never go.
Id be quite embarassed to go by myself. Is it the done thing for single guys to go to these events on their tod?
Totally normal, but it's important to go without expectations as you aren't guaranteed anything."
I'll keep at it. And no doubt I will find the courage to attend a club at some point. Even a social as ive seen a few of these listed at various times too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP...there's a few issues with your profile. Your pics don't show you off - mirror shots aren't great. Try some self timer shots and vary them - casual clothes, something smart, tasteful nudes, one showing your dick (no more than one).
Edit your age range...18-99 looks like you're too lazy to edit it, or you'll genuinely do anyone.
Then expectations. No single woman will go to a club with you. They don't know you - they don't want to be tied to you all night, they don't want to feel like they're expected to play with you, they don't want to feel like they have to leave when you want to, or can't leave when they want to. Just go on your own - it'll cost a bit more as a single guy and there'll be a few nights/events not open to you, but without single guys a lot of us couples might not have anyone to play with!
Lastly....look at the numbers. We are a very ordinary couple but we can get ten offers per day, more if we put up a pic. That's 300 in a month. We meet no more than once per week, and half of those are people we've seen before. So we need two, maximum three new guys each month. So just 1% of those offers.
Single women have it worse. Char has her own profile on here and she gets the same 300 offers in a week and meets even fewer.
We don't know what your opening messages are, but that's where you need to start.
(Bry)"
Thanks Bry, ive already sorted the age preferences - cheers for the advice, some good pointers there. |
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"Hello folks,
I joined 5 weeks ago. Im 100% single and not attached to anyone. I cant get positive response to any initial messages I send. Is the content in my profile wrong, or am I just too ugly to have any interest ftom females? How can I get verified if ive not had any socials/meets yet?
Cheers."
5 weeks.  . There are some guys on here that it takes 5 years You want quick easy lays you would have more luck on tinder where the m/f ratio is more evenly balanced |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hello folks,
I joined 5 weeks ago. Im 100% single and not attached to anyone. I cant get positive response to any initial messages I send. Is the content in my profile wrong, or am I just too ugly to have any interest ftom females? How can I get verified if ive not had any socials/meets yet?
Cheers.
5 weeks. . There are some guys on here that it takes 5 years You want quick easy lays you would have more luck on tinder where the m/f ratio is more evenly balanced"
Im a patient guy. Granted there are better prospects on dating sites, but its the swinging lifestyle i want to experience. Cheers! ?? |
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By *panddaCouple
over a year ago
West Mids |
"Hello folks,
I joined 5 weeks ago. Im 100% single and not attached to anyone. I cant get positive response to any initial messages I send. Is the content in my profile wrong, or am I just too ugly to have any interest ftom females? How can I get verified if ive not had any socials/meets yet?
Cheers."
Not everyone who joins here gets to meet someone.
Just the way it is, especially with so many single guys on here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hello folks,
I joined 5 weeks ago. Im 100% single and not attached to anyone. I cant get positive response to any initial messages I send. Is the content in my profile wrong, or am I just too ugly to have any interest ftom females? How can I get verified if ive not had any socials/meets yet?
Cheers.
Not everyone who joins here gets to meet someone.
Just the way it is, especially with so many single guys on here."
Im in no rush. Someone might come along for me, tbey might not. Thanks for your input! Much appreciated. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Only advice I can give you is stand out everyone copys so just be yourself don't expect a meet enjoy the process "
Cheers for the advice pal. Appreciated! |
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