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Maried or single?
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"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont " because as its a swinging site its about honesty and who says men don't that very general | |||
"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont because as its a swinging site its about honesty and who says men don't that very general "  | |||
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"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont " well swingers care coz swinging isnt about going behind your partners backs unless its doggystyle now if you were on a cheating website then no doubt you would be right, but like a dating website swinging still has morals even if they are very blurred and in a bit of a grey area where everyone has their own rules and boundaries. i guess people dont like to feel like they are being made to be part of others dishonesty | |||
"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont " So what is your definition of swinging? To be honest I have played with married and attached men in the past but now more more i am declining their messages. I find them more pushy than single guys, more concerned about their needs than mine etc You will find that most women couples and genuine single men don't like the idea of people cheating behind their partners backs and doing it in the name of swinging. | |||
"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont " I had a friend that used to meet a married guy and his wife found out and basically told him that if he didnt tell her who she was she was leaving him so in an attempt to save his marrage he gave his mrs my mates addres, his wife then went uopstairs and packed his bags and took them round to my mates house banged on the door and told her if she liked her husband so much she could have him, she kicked up suck a fuss everyone on the street was out seeing what was going off including my friends children who got the whole story personall splitting up familys for the sake of a shag isnt my bag, each to their own tho next question lol | |||
"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont " speak for yourself!!! 
just because this is in your words "a Swinging Site"... does that mean you are suppose to leave your morals and what you believe in at the door!
you may well think with your bits... i must be lucky to say that most of the people I have met thru swinging don't.... | |||
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"It depends on how fat the guy is....." WTF?  | |||
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"It depends on how fat the guy is..... WTF? "We needed a combined cheating man/ fat man thread | |||
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"Having had an irate wife screaming down the phone at me I prefer to stick to single men or married ones who's wives know that they are with me and give their consent "i didnt have a wife screaming at me, i didnt have a woman call me once and ask me who i was as she found my name on her fellas phone, he hadnt even listed me under my real name he'd logged me as a guys name but because she didnt know the number she wanted to know who i was, i found myself in a possition where i was having to lie and i thought.....why the fuck am i having guys wifes calling me up and being put in a possition to lie As the OP says its swinging not date so as such i dont want some guys wife calling me up | |||
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"I prefer single men yeah I know its a swinging site but I do like regular long meets not a ten min quicky (doesnt satisfy me). "I agree, married guys playing always just want quick meets while their mrs is out and they are clock watching, i dont want a guys whos on a timer and has to jump up and run off back to his wife at 5pm wether ive finised or not lol | |||
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"Thanks lady's you just proved my point alot of you just jumped to the same conclusion who said anything about cheating? if two maried people want to play on here as a couple or as single people why should the Male and only the male be judged as a cheat if he is with permission be automatically discounted as a "cheat" just because hes married? The re-action shows it's the case " sorry but on here unless a guy states his wife knows im assum hes playing away....because its usually the case, most guys who are married but their wife knows will tell you that, ones who say they are married but then skirt over their wife are playing away | |||
"Thanks lady's you just proved my point alot of you just jumped to the same conclusion who said anything about cheating? if two maried people want to play on here as a couple or as single people why should the Male and only the male be judged as a cheat if he is with permission be automatically discounted as a "cheat" just because hes married? The re-action shows it's the case " I also prefer not to play with half of a couple due to some bad experiences. So I'm not jumping on the bandwagon, I tried something and got burnt. But you didn't state married and playing with consent in your op, you simply said married. Most of the responses have mentioned the difference. A little more careful reading or the posts would lead to you having to modify your beliefs instead of assuming that we are all fulfilling your personal prophesy. | |||
"Thanks lady's you just proved my point alot of you just jumped to the same conclusion who said anything about cheating? if two maried people want to play on here as a couple or as single people why should the Male and only the male be judged as a cheat if he is with permission be automatically discounted as a "cheat" just because hes married? The re-action shows it's the case " you have coffee mornings to sit and chat to people. you go on a sex site to do more than that, so why lie and try to say they wouldnt be cheating if they are on here? and, for us, that goes for women also. oh, and this is a guy, not a woman. dont piss down my back and tell me its raining | |||
"Thanks lady's you just proved my point alot of you just jumped to the same conclusion who said anything about cheating? if two maried people want to play on here as a couple or as single people why should the Male and only the male be judged as a cheat if he is with permission be automatically discounted as a "cheat" just because hes married? The re-action shows it's the case " the reaction doesnt prove anything. you will find that those who play away with their wife's permission will be up front about it and put something on their profile, even ofer to have that fact verified by their wife. | |||
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"I know what you mean and yes theres always going to be those that have caused the problem thro cheating imoral and devious behavior. But there is a lot treating the site like a dating site too and being rude before even looking or anything. maybe there shouldnt be a status at all then up to each guy woman couple to chat same as you would if you met in a night club ?" and meeting in a nightclub, one of the first things i look at is the ring finger, to see if there is anything there. this place isnt like a nightclub as you have more chance to vet people on here than you do in a nightclub anyway, as usually the drink takes over | |||
"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont " No you dont... plenty of men dont think with their dicks and have morals.
For the record when we first joined a swinging site it was kev who said no marrieds...i said oh i bet they have good reasons...as usual kev was right. | |||
"Thanks lady's you just proved my point alot of you just jumped to the same conclusion who said anything about cheating? if two maried people want to play on here as a couple or as single people why should the Male and only the male be judged as a cheat if he is with permission be automatically discounted as a "cheat" just because hes married? The re-action shows it's the case " That wasn't your original post though was it?
Do you want to scroll up and refresh your memory?
In answer to your OP, it matters if a man is married because they usually can only do daytime meets, they can't accommodate, you can't wear perfume around them, you can't mark them...I'm here for my hedonistic pleasure not a quickie between meetings. | |||
"Thanks lady's you just proved my point alot of you just jumped to the same conclusion who said anything about cheating? if two maried people want to play on here as a couple or as single people why should the Male and only the male be judged as a cheat if he is with permission be automatically discounted as a "cheat" just because hes married? The re-action shows it's the case " You really dont have a clue about swinging do u , lots of couples here play separatly...they are not cheats. And why are u only concerned with men...women have sex to | |||
"The affair sites all charge so we get lots of marrieds who think this is the easy and cheap way to have some illicit (as in not open and discussed with other half) fun. Many of them don't grasp the swinging ethos and get clingy/needy/want to be exclusive/want to bareback/get shirty if you won't drop everything when the time is good for them but won't do the same in return... " | |||
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"Actually wifes cant verify on here being on the same router. also sometimes its a privacy thing why should anyone have to prove there situation before people will even chat to you ? we all have usernames for a reason and private info why if i was maried single gay bi whatever, should i disclose that to a stranger that in the end may turn out to be a male brickie in leeds? " cos swinging is about sexual openess and honesty...if you dont get that you just dont get it. | |||
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"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont speak for yourself!!!
just because this is in your words "a Swinging Site"... does that mean you are suppose to leave your morals and what you believe in at the door!
you may well think with your bits... i must be lucky to say that most of the people I have met thru swinging don't...."thanks Fabio nicely said ! | |||
"If anyone on here doesn't want to meet someone playing away from their partner I don't see any reason why they should. I also don't see any reason for the morality police to keep banging on about it. " because the question was asked. would be a pointless thread otherwise | |||
"If anyone on here doesn't want to meet someone playing away from their partner I don't see any reason why they should. I also don't see any reason for the morality police to keep banging on about it. " The OP asked a question...people are answering it, or are we not allowed to have opinions now | |||
"Thanks lady's you just proved my point alot of you just jumped to the same conclusion who said anything about cheating? if two maried people want to play on here as a couple or as single people why should the Male and only the male be judged as a cheat if he is with permission be automatically discounted as a "cheat" just because hes married? The re-action shows it's the case That wasn't your original post though was it?
Do you want to scroll up and refresh your memory?
In answer to your OP, it matters if a man is married because they usually can only do daytime meets, they can't accommodate, you can't wear perfume around them, you can't mark them...I'm here for my hedonistic pleasure not a quickie between meetings. "The op doesn't want the truth - that swingers consider sexual honesty to be of paramount importance in their swinging lives - be it soft swing, full swap, exploration of cuckolding, bdsm, gangbangs, bisexuality, threesomes, moresomes, pain, restraints, roleplay, greediness, deprivation, watersports, hardsports, voyeurism and the many other permutations that make up the fun we have. If you are not open and honest with yourself then these explorations will ultimately become frustrating and not satisfying. And you must also be honest to any person who shares your sexual life - not the occasionals but the person who you promised in front of you those most important to you both to be honest to and never deceive. There are those on here who play with informed consent from their other half. No-one has an issue with them. But There are many who do not. And some, though not all, take issue with that and prefer not to be complicit in that deception. Swinging is an add on, it should be like frosting a cake, simply make what is already good even better. But if lies and deceit and heartbreak are the result of what should have been a fun fuck with someone who was free to join in then thats too high a price. Op, some of us have been caught up in the middle of arguments, bitching, nagging, violent fights and divorce. And you try to score points off us for proving your little theory right!?! | |||
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"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont " Because we want to know who's going to come after us with a frying pan  | |||
"Thanks lady's you just proved my point alot of you just jumped to the same conclusion who said anything about cheating? if two maried people want to play on here as a couple or as single people why should the Male and only the male be judged as a cheat if he is with permission be automatically discounted as a "cheat" just because hes married? The re-action shows it's the case That wasn't your original post though was it?
Do you want to scroll up and refresh your memory?
In answer to your OP, it matters if a man is married because they usually can only do daytime meets, they can't accommodate, you can't wear perfume around them, you can't mark them...I'm here for my hedonistic pleasure not a quickie between meetings.
The op doesn't want the truth - that swingers consider sexual honesty to be of paramount importance in their swinging lives - be it soft swing, full swap, exploration of cuckolding, bdsm, gangbangs, bisexuality, threesomes, moresomes, pain, restraints, roleplay, greediness, deprivation, watersports, hardsports, voyeurism and the many other permutations that make up the fun we have.
If you are not open and honest with yourself then these explorations will ultimately become frustrating and not satisfying. And you must also be honest to any person who shares your sexual life - not the occasionals but the person who you promised in front of you those most important to you both to be honest to and never deceive.
There are those on here who play with informed consent from their other half. No-one has an issue with them.
But There are many who do not. And some, though not all, take issue with that and prefer not to be complicit in that deception. Swinging is an add on, it should be like frosting a cake, simply make what is already good even better. But if lies and deceit and heartbreak are the result of what should have been a fun fuck with someone who was free to join in then thats too high a price.
Op, some of us have been caught up in the middle of arguments, bitching, nagging, violent fights and divorce. And you try to score points off us for proving your little theory right!?! " | |||
"If anyone on here doesn't want to meet someone playing away from their partner I don't see any reason why they should. I also don't see any reason for the morality police to keep banging on about it. " answering a question is hardly banging on about it he was asking about married men so what the hell was we supposed to put as a reply? | |||
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"Ive said it before i didnt say anything about MEN CHEATING. Just saying its assumed if he says hes married he must be and judged. Even if he says hes got a couple profile or can prove hes playing with permission I doubt he would be given a chance. Maybe ive hit a nerve here? its spose to be fun not judgemental of Anyone " own your words rather than backtracking...i know plenty of men and women with couples profiles and singles...they get meets fine...whatever you may think...because they are honest As for the idea swingers leave there morals at the door, you may, i choose not to | |||
"Ive said it before i didnt say anything about MEN CHEATING. Just saying its assumed if he says hes married he must be and judged. Even if he says hes got a couple profile or can prove hes playing with permission I doubt he would be given a chance. Maybe ive hit a nerve here? its spose to be fun not judgemental of Anyone " we got approached by a guy and we asked if he was playing with permission. he said yes, so we asked to clarify it with his missus, no more contact. says it all. like i said, if you want to talk to people, go to a coffee morning. you join a sex site and you will be judged on that, pure and simple. yes, its supposed to be fun and non judgemental, but if everyone cant be honest with each other AS WELL AS THEMSELVES then judging will always be needed. answer the question, why would someone that is married join a site to meet people for sex, without theit other half, if they werent cheating? | |||
"Ive said it before i didnt say anything about MEN CHEATING. Just saying its assumed if he says hes married he must be and judged. Even if he says hes got a couple profile or can prove hes playing with permission I doubt he would be given a chance. Maybe ive hit a nerve here? its spose to be fun not judgemental of Anyone " you also didnt state they wasnt cheating i dont judge anyone, if a guy tells me hes married but his wife knows thats find, you have a single guys profile, you ask for discretion, you cant accommodate and you mention no wife, there for im left to make my own mind up and by your profile id say you was married any playing away, i could be wrong but they are all hall marks of a cheater as most men who play with their wifes knowledge will state that | |||
"Ive said it before i didnt say anything about MEN CHEATING. Just saying its assumed if he says hes married he must be and judged. Even if he says hes got a couple profile or can prove hes playing with permission I doubt he would be given a chance. Maybe ive hit a nerve here? its spose to be fun not judgemental of Anyone you also didnt state they wasnt cheating i dont judge anyone, if a guy tells me hes married but his wife knows thats find, you have a single guys profile, you ask for discretion, you cant accommodate and you mention no wife, there for im left to make my own mind up and by your profile id say you was married any playing away, i could be wrong but they are all hall marks of a cheater as most men who play with their wifes knowledge will state that" And women...i make it very clear on my profile that anyone who is meeting just me can speak to kev to confirm everything is above board...its easy to be here and honest, if you are not cheating | |||
"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont speak for yourself!!!
just because this is in your words "a Swinging Site"... does that mean you are suppose to leave your morals and what you believe in at the door!
you may well think with your bits... i must be lucky to say that most of the people I have met thru swinging don't....
thanks Fabio nicely said ! "I totally agree I am single and don't want to be involved In splitting up any relationship ! Had that offer and turned it down. I have had sex with a married woman with her husband and on her own with his concent
This was before I joined this site
They are now divorced because he was also playing the field without her permission or knowlage with another married woman ,who wanted to have me but i turned her down. The couples who were and still are friends, are also now divorced ! Now with 5 kids in care due to the fallout and other complications !!
I am quite happy for contacts to want to talk to a woman who knows that I am on this site to conferm that I am what I say !
Just worried she tell whet I am tickalish  | |||
"Actually wifes cant verify on here being on the same router. also sometimes its a privacy thing why should anyone have to prove there situation before people will even chat to you ? we all have usernames for a reason and private info why if i was maried single gay bi whatever, should i disclose that to a stranger that in the end may turn out to be a male brickie in leeds? " you're right, you shouldnt have to disclose anything you ont want to. However, you should expect that given the information you choose to supply people will make their own assumptions ad that might hinder your chances on this here sex site 
Its a sad fact that some married single guys have put women on the alert and so they will always assume the worst | |||
"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont " Well i do. Ive had 'offers' from female half of couples to meet alone, and ive turned all of them down. Some of us single guys have some morals! | |||
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"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont " because its dishonest and no one wants to be blamed or mention in break ups or civil court for divorce | |||
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"They don't care if the mood suits them. If the sausage looks tasty and the lady in question is hungry...it won't matter to her then..." But there are so many men on here that if a woman has any concerns she can easily move on to another who doesn't provoke the same issues. This is the ops REAL issue. He thought he'd get lots of interest on here, but by being evasive and now by having a chip on his shoulder, all the single women he was interested in have considered him and decided he came with too many potential strings. And moved on to a more attractive prospect - lets be honest girls, theres ALWAYS another bit of boy totty for us.  | |||
" because its dishonest and no one wants to be blamed or mention in break ups or civil court for divorce "actually they no longer name in divorce.. I know this as I actually wanted to name the woman that my ex had been having the affair with. Okay back to OP. It bothers me not if a guy is married or not..What bothers me is if he is free when I need..now a few of my best regular daytime guys are married.. but I wish they were free in the evenings.. The thing that I find better with Married guys is they tend not to disappear after a few months because they have met someone and now wont meet.. which tends to happen with single guys.. Being that it takes us a while to get what we want.. its tedious to have to keep starting from the start.. I dont see anyones marital status as any of my business and don't see how it is my problem. Cali | |||
"Ive said it before i didnt say anything about MEN CHEATING. Just saying its assumed if he says hes married he must be and judged. Even if he says hes got a couple profile or can prove hes playing with permission I doubt he would be given a chance. Maybe ive hit a nerve here? its spose to be fun not judgemental of Anyone " I disagree, here. Have had a couples profile with my wife for some time. However, for whatever reason she doesnt want to play currently. She suggested i set up my own profile so i can enjoy some fun on my own. Whenever i have messaged "couples" i have been honest from the start, stating that i play with wifes permission. I have been very fortunate to have had some great meets now & hopefully more in the not to distant future. Some prefer not to meet married men, thats there choice, my wife prefers me to only meet couples, thats her choice. However, i meet daytimes, evenings, weekends & short notice....Because i have a babysitter wife who can look after the kids....not cheating & finding excuses to meet or excuses to let people down. | |||
"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont speak for yourself!!!
just because this is in your words "a Swinging Site"... does that mean you are suppose to leave your morals and what you believe in at the door!
you may well think with your bits... i must be lucky to say that most of the people I have met thru swinging don't...." | |||
"Ive said it before i didnt say anything about MEN CHEATING. Just saying its assumed if he says hes married he must be and judged. Even if he says hes got a couple profile or can prove hes playing with permission I doubt he would be given a chance. Maybe ive hit a nerve here? its spose to be fun not judgemental of Anyone I disagree, here. Have had a couples profile with my wife for some time. However, for whatever reason she doesnt want to play currently. She suggested i set up my own profile so i can enjoy some fun on my own. Whenever i have messaged "couples" i have been honest from the start, stating that i play with wifes permission. I have been very fortunate to have had some great meets now & hopefully more in the not to distant future. Some prefer not to meet married men, thats there choice, my wife prefers me to only meet couples, thats her choice. However, i meet daytimes, evenings, weekends & short notice....Because i have a babysitter wife who can look after the kids....not cheating & finding excuses to meet or excuses to let people down. " Your situation and mine are very similar, and i have found exactly the same. i know those with chips on their shoulders might not believe it, but some couples have preferred not to meet me because i am married, others are fine since they know i am here with kevs full knowledge. Honestey brings rewards! | |||
" because its dishonest and no one wants to be blamed or mention in break ups or civil court for divorce
actually they no longer name in divorce.. I know this as I actually wanted to name the woman that my ex had been having the affair with.
Okay back to OP. It bothers me not if a guy is married or not..What bothers me is if he is free when I need..now a few of my best regular daytime guys are married.. but I wish they were free in the evenings..
The thing that I find better with Married guys is they tend not to disappear after a few months because they have met someone and now wont meet.. which tends to happen with single guys..
Being that it takes us a while to get what we want.. its tedious to have to keep starting from the start..
I dont see anyones marital status as any of my business and don't see how it is my problem.
Cali "see this is what I don't get.... it was hurtful enough to you that you initially wanted the whole world to know the name of the person that broke up your marriage..... and yet you don't mind being complicit in possibly breaking up others knowing they are married.... so can i ask would you still do it, if there wasn't the vial of anonimity??? if you could still be named..... see i always say the following.... its easy to say "not my problem, not my issue" when you have no idea who they are, like some anonymous figure.... not so easy to say that when they are for example a voice down a phone line.... or as some people have encountered, face to face.... | |||
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"Swinging is a lifestyle and as such people have their own boundaries. Married folks playing without their partner's knowledge or permission is not swinging it is cheating plain and simple. Those that choose to say No to married folks playing away from home are entitled to do so and as such should not be judged for this choice. As for those who have been given permission should be happy to supply the contact number of their partner for verification - if it is the truth then they will be happy to supply number. I have been told by a man playing away from home that I am shallow for saying no thanks. Just because this is a swingers site it does not automatically mean that you will get sex. We are after all entitled to say No at any time we want to xxxxxxxxxxx Have a good week everyone " | |||
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"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont " Ah so by your comment, men don't, any hole's a goal then? Hence they are on a swinging website then as the think every woman on here will drop their knickers for a cheater | |||
"nice and short, like a good looking migit. WHY should we want to meet someone that doesnt give a fuck about the boundaries in their own relationship, and hope they will care about the boundaries of ours?" I've never seen it put so well | |||
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" because its dishonest and no one wants to be blamed or mention in break ups or civil court for divorce
actually they no longer name in divorce.. I know this as I actually wanted to name the woman that my ex had been having the affair with.
Okay back to OP. It bothers me not if a guy is married or not..What bothers me is if he is free when I need..now a few of my best regular daytime guys are married.. but I wish they were free in the evenings..
The thing that I find better with Married guys is they tend not to disappear after a few months because they have met someone and now wont meet.. which tends to happen with single guys..
Being that it takes us a while to get what we want.. its tedious to have to keep starting from the start..
I dont see anyones marital status as any of my business and don't see how it is my problem.
Cali
see this is what I don't get.... it was hurtful enough to you that you initially wanted the whole world to know the name of the person that broke up your marriage..... and yet you don't mind being complicit in possibly breaking up others knowing they are married....
so can i ask would you still do it, if there wasn't the vial of anonimity??? if you could still be named.....
see i always say the following.... its easy to say "not my problem, not my issue" when you have no idea who they are, like some anonymous figure.... not so easy to say that when they are for example a voice down a phone line.... or as some people have encountered, face to face...."some people develop wilful blindness to excuse their behavior.... | |||
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"A lot of interesting opinions, and a few very eloquently put! We believe in being honest about our situation on this site so that others can make informed choices. Nothing is black and white and, like someone said earlier, we're all on this for various reasons. Don't judge us for it when you don't know the full facts/circumstances." But realistically no-one is judging anyone, people do not care that someone cheats only that they are and therefore some choose not to meet them | |||
"nice and short, like a good looking migit. WHY should we want to meet someone that doesnt give a fuck about the boundaries in their own relationship, and hope they will care about the boundaries of ours?" Five star answer | |||
"why was my post removed? ." You post was removed as it was very personal information from someone who I am guessing told you in confidence and not for public forums. I think anyone on this site would agree it is dispicable to plaster personal information on a forum just to score a point, so I removed it. | |||
"Im a married man who plays on here with my wifes consent.She has a single womans profile, and we are happy to pass them on to anyone concerned.There is a misconception here that 'happily married' couples and ' singles who play with their other halves consent' are totally in control of their emotions. We are all human, and to a certain extent we are all playing russian roulettewith our marriages (whether you like it or not ). Introducing single men into a married couple scenario, also has the potential to cause a divorce. Life is not quite a black and white as people seems to make out, swinging/dating who knows where the divide actually lies. " Good point. | |||
"I've always met married men... As to would I do it if I wasnt anonymous.. yes, I've had a visit.. I've also had the other woman turn up to tell me... The thing is some on here protest that they won't meet marrieds but do clubs and group stuff... Or dogging... It seems its only objectionable if its planned in advance.. that to me is hypocritical... Cali " Fair point. That said, one of these scenarios does have a premeditated intent about it. I don't believe that anyone meeting a married person needs to justify it to anyone other than themselves. | |||
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" Even if he says hes got a couple profile or can prove hes playing with permission I doubt he would be given a chance. Maybe ive hit a nerve here? " I'm just a tiny bit confused by this line
If you actually think this? .... what on earth do you think 'swinging' IS?
I think the only nerve you may have 'hit' is the one that get's irritated by being fed a line designed to manipulate a particular response. Your opening post was childish and 'pointless' seeing as how it never actualy got to 'the point.' | |||
"The whole meeting married people with consent is a grey area to me, it's easier just to meet singles. " That's why we only ever meet single guys who can accomodate in their own homes, we then know they are not going behind anyones back. That to us would be cheating not swinging and something we want no part of. | |||
"The whole meeting married people with consent is a grey area to me, it's easier just to meet singles. That's why we only ever meet single guys who can accomodate in their own homes, we then know they are not going behind anyones back. That to us would be cheating not swinging and something we want no part of." Even that isn't a guarantee, we got offered to meet at a "single " mans house for fun, we found out later that we were offered to meet at his house while his wife was away for the night. | |||
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"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont " I have just quoted your original post and NOWHERE does it mention playing with permission or informed consent of the non playing spouse. Backtrack all you like but you started a thread to prove yourself right only to get a host of intelligent, well reasoned and coherent replies most of which you ignored when you deigned to repost. If you really wanted an answer to why some women prefer not to play with attached men even when they have informed consent then you should have been clearer in your original post or let us know early on that that is what you meant. Btw has your search for playmates got any easier since you started the thread? | |||
" why should anyone explain there position prior to meeting someone? you wouldnt quiz people in a night club before dancing with them only if you were takining it further." But we're not just dancing are we? We're meeting for that most emotive of subjects - sex! So surely it's fair if someone's not single for them to give a brief explanation just so someone else can make an informed choice. And incidentally, your first post said nothing about playing with permission - it came across as saying we're all here for one thing so who gives a stuff about personal circumstances. But back track away. | |||
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"and im sure your missus would cut your balls off if she found you dancing with some random bird." And as ti what she'd do if she found his profile on a swingers site!!!  | |||
"Thanks lady's you just proved my point alot of you just jumped to the same conclusion who said anything about cheating? if two maried people want to play on here as a couple or as single people why should the Male and only the male be judged as a cheat if he is with permission be automatically discounted as a "cheat" just because hes married? The re-action shows it's the case you have coffee mornings to sit and chat to people. you go on a sex site to do more than that, so why lie and try to say they wouldnt be cheating if they are on here? and, for us, that goes for women also. oh, and this is a guy, not a woman. dont piss down my back and tell me its raining" Is that from The Outlaw Josey Wales? Love that film
Back on topic, I'm married and playing away, of course many people have issues with this, which I completely respect. That's why I'm open about the fact, can't see the point in lying and making out that you are something that you're not.
There are plenty of women out there in the same boat and if it is of mutual benefit and no one gets harmed in the process then I don't see a problem.
As for the reasons why we do this, we all have our own reason's so please try not to be too judgemental and universal with your opinions of us.
Obviously I am a cad and a bounder for doing things like this but I am pretty sure that if I told you the sad story behind it, you'd probably think me less of one and I'm sure there are many other's with equally needy reasons.
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"or would tel you to end it or sort it out. there are NO valid reasons for CHEATING on your partner, no matter how you want to dress it up." Here we go 
So if you were married to someone who you loved but they had been seriously ill and nearly died, thankfully recovered but has not had either the desire or physical ability to have sex for he last 7 years, you'd just fuck them off and find somebody else then? Despite the fact that you knew that it would completely destroy them?
Oh and up until about a year ago I did remain both faithful and celibate throughout this period but just couldn't take it any more.
If this makes me a bad person then I'm a bad person, I just don't see any other alternative, don't want an affair and all the danger that would involve so meeting for sex with like minded adults is far less risky on an attachment level.
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"or would tel you to end it or sort it out. there are NO valid reasons for CHEATING on your partner, no matter how you want to dress it up. Here we go
So if you were married to someone who you loved but they had been seriously ill and nearly died, thankfully recovered but has not had either the desire or physical ability to have sex for he last 7 years, you'd just fuck them off and find somebody else then? Despite the fact that you knew that it would completely destroy them?
Oh and up until about a year ago I did remain both faithful and celibate throughout this period but just couldn't take it any more.
If this makes me a bad person then I'm a bad person, I just don't see any other alternative, don't want an affair and all the danger that would involve so meeting for sex with like minded adults is far less risky on an attachment level.
"who said anything about having to dump her? so, why not talk to her, tell her how you feel and tell her how important sex is to you? if you love her, like you say you do, then why would you keep things from her? would it hurt her more to tell her you need sex and should come to some kind of decision between you, or to find out you are out shagging random women? i know which Em would find more palletable | |||
"or would tel you to end it or sort it out. there are NO valid reasons for CHEATING on your partner, no matter how you want to dress it up. Here we go
So if you were married to someone who you loved but they had been seriously ill and nearly died, thankfully recovered but has not had either the desire or physical ability to have sex for he last 7 years, you'd just fuck them off and find somebody else then? Despite the fact that you knew that it would completely destroy them?
Oh and up until about a year ago I did remain both faithful and celibate throughout this period but just couldn't take it any more.
If this makes me a bad person then I'm a bad person, I just don't see any other alternative, don't want an affair and all the danger that would involve so meeting for sex with like minded adults is far less risky on an attachment level.
"Its upto you how you run your life, some will agree with what your doing some wont, but then you can say that about anything in life Personally i dont think i could meet someone who had a ill wife at home, it would just make me feel like a bad person knowing i was fucking some sick womans husband, but that does not mean i dont think you, or anyone else in your situation shouldnt be doing it, its just not a situation i would want to be involved in everyone has their opinions we just have to accept we all have different home situations and all run our lifes different | |||
"or would tel you to end it or sort it out. there are NO valid reasons for CHEATING on your partner, no matter how you want to dress it up. Here we go
So if you were married to someone who you loved but they had been seriously ill and nearly died, thankfully recovered but has not had either the desire or physical ability to have sex for he last 7 years, you'd just fuck them off and find somebody else then? Despite the fact that you knew that it would completely destroy them?
Oh and up until about a year ago I did remain both faithful and celibate throughout this period but just couldn't take it any more.
If this makes me a bad person then I'm a bad person, I just don't see any other alternative, don't want an affair and all the danger that would involve so meeting for sex with like minded adults is far less risky on an attachment level.
who said anything about having to dump her?
so, why not talk to her, tell her how you feel and tell her how important sex is to you?
if you love her, like you say you do, then why would you keep things from her?
would it hurt her more to tell her you need sex and should come to some kind of decision between you, or to find out you are out shagging random women?
i know which Em would find more palletable"I suppose what you are saying is right but neither of us are very good at talking about our feelings, we've been to relate and all sorts of shit and discussed the sex issue ut nothing has ever changed. I suppose I just do it because it's easier and I can convince myself that I'm not as morally corrupt as I actually am | |||
"or would tel you to end it or sort it out. there are NO valid reasons for CHEATING on your partner, no matter how you want to dress it up. Here we go
So if you were married to someone who you loved but they had been seriously ill and nearly died, thankfully recovered but has not had either the desire or physical ability to have sex for he last 7 years, you'd just fuck them off and find somebody else then? Despite the fact that you knew that it would completely destroy them?
Oh and up until about a year ago I did remain both faithful and celibate throughout this period but just couldn't take it any more.
If this makes me a bad person then I'm a bad person, I just don't see any other alternative, don't want an affair and all the danger that would involve so meeting for sex with like minded adults is far less risky on an attachment level.
who said anything about having to dump her?
so, why not talk to her, tell her how you feel and tell her how important sex is to you?
if you love her, like you say you do, then why would you keep things from her?
would it hurt her more to tell her you need sex and should come to some kind of decision between you, or to find out you are out shagging random women?
i know which Em would find more palletable"thats all easy to say when your not in that situation If it was your Mrs that was ill, if she had a healthy sex life before and felt bad she could not longer give you what you wanted, you've spent years reasuring her its ok and sex didnt matter to make her feel better how do you then say...oh actually i want to fuck others if you cant give it me.....ok i know you wouldnt phrae it like that but its basically what your saying, i dont think i could say that to someone i loved who was ill, and a person in that situation may not take it as wel as they say they would when talking about it hypothetically Ive always found it best not to judge other on situations i have no understanding of, as i stated in my other post its not something i would get involved in but unless i was in the same possition i couldnt honestly say what id do and i dont think any of us could really | |||
"or would tel you to end it or sort it out. there are NO valid reasons for CHEATING on your partner, no matter how you want to dress it up. Here we go
So if you were married to someone who you loved but they had been seriously ill and nearly died, thankfully recovered but has not had either the desire or physical ability to have sex for he last 7 years, you'd just fuck them off and find somebody else then? Despite the fact that you knew that it would completely destroy them?
Oh and up until about a year ago I did remain both faithful and celibate throughout this period but just couldn't take it any more.
If this makes me a bad person then I'm a bad person, I just don't see any other alternative, don't want an affair and all the danger that would involve so meeting for sex with like minded adults is far less risky on an attachment level.
Its upto you how you run your life, some will agree with what your doing some wont, but then you can say that about anything in life
Personally i dont think i could meet someone who had a ill wife at home, it would just make me feel like a bad person knowing i was fucking some sick womans husband, but that does not mean i dont think you, or anyone else in your situation shouldnt be doing it, its just not a situation i would want to be involved in
everyone has their opinions we just have to accept we all have different home situations and all run our lifes different "Thanks, sorry I don't think I explained very well, she's not ill anymore, she works full time as a nurse, it's just the sexual bits that got damaged during her treatment | |||
"or would tel you to end it or sort it out. there are NO valid reasons for CHEATING on your partner, no matter how you want to dress it up. Here we go
So if you were married to someone who you loved but they had been seriously ill and nearly died, thankfully recovered but has not had either the desire or physical ability to have sex for he last 7 years, you'd just fuck them off and find somebody else then? Despite the fact that you knew that it would completely destroy them?
Oh and up until about a year ago I did remain both faithful and celibate throughout this period but just couldn't take it any more.
If this makes me a bad person then I'm a bad person, I just don't see any other alternative, don't want an affair and all the danger that would involve so meeting for sex with like minded adults is far less risky on an attachment level.
who said anything about having to dump her?
so, why not talk to her, tell her how you feel and tell her how important sex is to you?
if you love her, like you say you do, then why would you keep things from her?
would it hurt her more to tell her you need sex and should come to some kind of decision between you, or to find out you are out shagging random women?
i know which Em would find more palletable
thats all easy to say when your not in that situation
If it was your Mrs that was ill, if she had a healthy sex life before and felt bad she could not longer give you what you wanted, you've spent years reasuring her its ok and sex didnt matter to make her feel better how do you then say...oh actually i want to fuck others if you cant give it me.....ok i know you wouldnt phrae it like that but its basically what your saying, i dont think i could say that to someone i loved who was ill, and a person in that situation may not take it as wel as they say they would when talking about it hypothetically
Ive always found it best not to judge other on situations i have no understanding of, as i stated in my other post its not something i would get involved in but unless i was in the same possition i couldnt honestly say what id do and i dont think any of us could really"Thanks for being so understanding, that is why I used the Harper Lee quote in my profile. Although I'm now beginning to regret joining this thread | |||
"or would tel you to end it or sort it out. there are NO valid reasons for CHEATING on your partner, no matter how you want to dress it up. Here we go
So if you were married to someone who you loved but they had been seriously ill and nearly died, thankfully recovered but has not had either the desire or physical ability to have sex for he last 7 years, you'd just fuck them off and find somebody else then? Despite the fact that you knew that it would completely destroy them?
Oh and up until about a year ago I did remain both faithful and celibate throughout this period but just couldn't take it any more.
If this makes me a bad person then I'm a bad person, I just don't see any other alternative, don't want an affair and all the danger that would involve so meeting for sex with like minded adults is far less risky on an attachment level.
who said anything about having to dump her?
so, why not talk to her, tell her how you feel and tell her how important sex is to you?
if you love her, like you say you do, then why would you keep things from her?
would it hurt her more to tell her you need sex and should come to some kind of decision between you, or to find out you are out shagging random women?
i know which Em would find more palletable
thats all easy to say when your not in that situation
If it was your Mrs that was ill, if she had a healthy sex life before and felt bad she could not longer give you what you wanted, you've spent years reasuring her its ok and sex didnt matter to make her feel better how do you then say...oh actually i want to fuck others if you cant give it me.....ok i know you wouldnt phrae it like that but its basically what your saying, i dont think i could say that to someone i loved who was ill, and a person in that situation may not take it as wel as they say they would when talking about it hypothetically
Ive always found it best not to judge other on situations i have no understanding of, as i stated in my other post its not something i would get involved in but unless i was in the same possition i couldnt honestly say what id do and i dont think any of us could really"no offence NN but i would HOPE that we (myself and OH, not you lol) have built up the respect and understanding to be able to discuss things and come to a comprimise, even it its her telling me to take a running jump, lol. seriously, if you cant talk things through with a partner, then who can you talk things through with? | |||
"or would tel you to end it or sort it out. there are NO valid reasons for CHEATING on your partner, no matter how you want to dress it up. Here we go
So if you were married to someone who you loved but they had been seriously ill and nearly died, thankfully recovered but has not had either the desire or physical ability to have sex for he last 7 years, you'd just fuck them off and find somebody else then? Despite the fact that you knew that it would completely destroy them?
Oh and up until about a year ago I did remain both faithful and celibate throughout this period but just couldn't take it any more.
If this makes me a bad person then I'm a bad person, I just don't see any other alternative, don't want an affair and all the danger that would involve so meeting for sex with like minded adults is far less risky on an attachment level.
who said anything about having to dump her?
so, why not talk to her, tell her how you feel and tell her how important sex is to you?
if you love her, like you say you do, then why would you keep things from her?
would it hurt her more to tell her you need sex and should come to some kind of decision between you, or to find out you are out shagging random women?
i know which Em would find more palletable
thats all easy to say when your not in that situation
If it was your Mrs that was ill, if she had a healthy sex life before and felt bad she could not longer give you what you wanted, you've spent years reasuring her its ok and sex didnt matter to make her feel better how do you then say...oh actually i want to fuck others if you cant give it me.....ok i know you wouldnt phrae it like that but its basically what your saying, i dont think i could say that to someone i loved who was ill, and a person in that situation may not take it as wel as they say they would when talking about it hypothetically
Ive always found it best not to judge other on situations i have no understanding of, as i stated in my other post its not something i would get involved in but unless i was in the same possition i couldnt honestly say what id do and i dont think any of us could really
no offence NN but i would HOPE that we (myself and OH, not you lol) have built up the respect and understanding to be able to discuss things and come to a comprimise, even it its her telling me to take a running jump, lol.
seriously, if you cant talk things through with a partner, then who can you talk things through with?"That's great but not everyone in the world is exactly the same as you two, had you considered that? | |||
"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont " because alot have been hurt at some time in there lifes and know how it feel ......... and would not wish that on other people if thay found out other half was playing away shagging people ...... | |||
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" seriously, if you cant talk things through with a partner, then who can you talk things through with?" Suppose it depends what kind of relationship you have and what the subject is Not everyone has a good relationship and even those who have there are certan subjects that are harder to talk about than other I know thats easy for me to say as i have spent most of my life making my own decisions so speaking things thro with a partners isnt a subject im good at as ive spent more of my life without one than with one and even when i do have one i find it easier to run than face difficult subjects, guess thats why im always alone lol
All in all im not really a expert on the subject lol i just try and understand that everyones lifes are different and we run ours as we see best | |||
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"LOL I have to laugh we are all swingers, there are monogomists out there that would say we have no morals as they cant comprehend how we could share our partners, so please stop saying people who play behind others backs dont have morals, you dont agree if they do then fine, but we all do things others dont agree with, if you dont like playing with married people then dont...but Im sure there are times you have without knowing!!" you'd actually be suprised at how many people out there find playing away more acceptable than swinging | |||
"LOL I have to laugh we are all swingers, there are monogomists out there that would say we have no morals as they cant comprehend how we could share our partners, so please stop saying people who play behind others backs dont have morals, you dont agree if they do then fine, but we all do things others dont agree with, if you dont like playing with married people then dont...but Im sure there are times you have without knowing!! you'd actually be suprised at how many people out there find playing away more acceptable than swinging" Well give us swinging anyday with sites such as this its easier to play with likeminded people | |||
"LOL I have to laugh we are all swingers, there are monogomists out there that would say we have no morals as they cant comprehend how we could share our partners, so please stop saying people who play behind others backs dont have morals, you dont agree if they do then fine, but we all do things others dont agree with, if you dont like playing with married people then dont...but Im sure there are times you have without knowing!! you'd actually be suprised at how many people out there find playing away more acceptable than swinging Well give us swinging anyday with sites such as this its easier to play with likeminded people" lol not saying i agree, i have just found that while chatting over the years that a lot of none swinging people find playing away more socially acceptable than swinging Must admit i always find it odd but just goes to show how we are all different | |||
"That's great but not everyone in the world is exactly the same as you two, had you considered that?" yes. but have you considered that you could actually destroy your good lady even worse than sitting her down and telling her you are a man and have needs... i dont even know her and i can say she would rather have a discussion about the subject rather than find you have been dipping your wick in another trough. | |||
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"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont " I do! Don't some kick-boxing expert of a husband waiting for me by my car cos I have given his wife a good time!!!!! Like others have said, Swinging has always been about sexual honesty. Seems a lot are forgetting that these days... | |||
"Why do woman get so worried weather men are married or single ? After all this is a swinging site not a dating site who cares ? Men dont I do! Don't some kick-boxing expert of a husband waiting for me by my car cos I have given his wife a good time!!!!! Like others have said, Swinging has always been about sexual honesty. Seems a lot are forgetting that these days..." ive not yet in 18 months of being on here come across one man that refused to meet or chat because im in a relationship. and im happy to meet them too. xx just a bit of fun at the end of the day x | |||
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"This topic is raised with tedious regularity" No one forces you to reply though | |||
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