FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Does anyone else feel neither sub nor dom?
Does anyone else feel neither sub nor dom?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I always see these thrown around in profiles. Someone either saying they're sub/dom or they're seeking someone sub/dom.
Does anyone else feel like they don't have a set 'role'? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I started out with a bit of a dom thing on my profile but actually removed it thinking maybe past partners were just super sub. I subscribe to the idea of interactions being different from person to person as mentioned above  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Lots of people don't have a 'set role' OP and plenty of dominants and submissives (me included) don't *always* have that role either, and some do - it's a very individual thing much the same as any other sexual activity, some will enjoy it, some won't etc |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"I always see these thrown around in profiles. Someone either saying they're sub/dom or they're seeking someone sub/dom.
Does anyone else feel like they don't have a set 'role'?"
Definitely. In fact neither of us get the whole role-playing thing. |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"I always see these thrown around in profiles. Someone either saying they're sub/dom or they're seeking someone sub/dom.
Does anyone else feel like they don't have a set 'role'?"
Yes absolutely. I even state that on my profile. Sometimes it seems like you've got to be one or the other (or both!). |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I always see these thrown around in profiles. Someone either saying they're sub/dom or they're seeking someone sub/dom.
Does anyone else feel like they don't have a set 'role'?
Definitely. In fact neither of us get the whole role-playing thing. "
The thing is for some it goes way beyond "role playing" it's as deep seated in their characters and their being as any other aspect of their sexuality (such as whether someone is straight, bisexual or gay for example) - I know my submissive side is certainly a lot more than "role play" although it is *not* all encompassing and a must have either, but it *is* part of who I am.
As I said further up, no-one *has* to have a "set role" - everyone is individual and has their own preferences and will seek out those whose preference matches their own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m a switch. When im a sub, can be fully obedient, but sometimes I wanna be a brat. Depends how naughty I am. When i dom, he/she does as I fucking say. Whoever I sub for, they are lucky. I dont sub for anyone. xx |
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"I’m a switch. When im a sub, can be fully obedient, but sometimes I wanna be a brat. Depends how naughty I am. When i dom, he/she does as I fucking say. Whoever I sub for, they are lucky. I dont sub for anyone. xx"
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I'm more a kinkster than a swinger, and it's been really interesting to see how the number of people identifying as a switch has skyrocketed over the past few years.
Once upon a time, it was shunned in the kink scene a bit as not being 'proper' bdsm. Fortunately things have moved on a lot now, and we're free to explore all aspects of our sexual selves without judgement or prejudice.
One thing I'd like to see is a study info the correlation between a switch and bisexuality. Are we switches really as greedy as we're made out to be  |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
I identify as a dom and I like control, but no matter how you identify I think most sane and sensible people in the scene realise that there is more than one way to do kink. I am great believer that title does not dictate role or personality.
It is about being who you want to be, and being honest in your preplay discussions and negotiations about how you work and what you want.
I have spoken to two subs recently who were looking for doms and each started a relationship with people presenting as doms who turned out to be subs looking for doms.
So honesty and clarity is always important. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really don't think it's compulsory you have to be either. Many are. Many think it makes them appeal to more people. Many of us just don't bother with it all and don't fit one side or the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm more a kinkster than a swinger, and it's been really interesting to see how the number of people identifying as a switch has skyrocketed over the past few years.
Once upon a time, it was shunned in the kink scene a bit as not being 'proper' bdsm. Fortunately things have moved on a lot now, and we're free to explore all aspects of our sexual selves without judgement or prejudice.
One thing I'd like to see is a study info the correlation between a switch and bisexuality. Are we switches really as greedy as we're made out to be "
Are you a switch are are you actually just neither a dom ora sub. Does someone always have to take control or can you just enjoy sex for what it is? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I really don't think it's compulsory you have to be either. Many are. Many think it makes them appeal to more people. Many of us just don't bother with it all and don't fit one side or the other. "
Not sure how it is for others but I'm still exploring and trying different things. I'd be comfortable in either role.
Indecisiveness or FOMO? I don't know  |
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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago
village life, closest main town inverness |
"I always see these thrown around in profiles. Someone either saying they're sub/dom or they're seeking someone sub/dom.
Does anyone else feel like they don't have a set 'role'?"
.
No neither of us are one or the other, we like trying out different things too  |
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I'd hazard a guess that many people on here don't feel like they are either.
Taking the 'active' role doesn't make you Dom, and more than taking a 'passive' role makes you sub.
As long as all parties have communicated and are comfortable, call yourself whatever you like, or nothing at all. |
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You don’t have to identify on the dominant / submissive axis or have any labels to define your sexuality, full stop.
These are just shortcuts and ways to help people align if they want to.
There are lots of other axes and labels. How many people know what an Ace or Aro are, for example. Or service top or bottom?
As far as being a “Dom” goes I personally eschew that word as it conveys things that I am not.
Having said that I knew from a very early, pre-pubescent age that I was a dominant guy. It picked me, I didn’t pick it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah sometimes I get confused depends on the situation because I’m a big guy it’s nice to be submissive, but then if I feel incredibly horny I love to take charge and get what I want. |
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what she said.
