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Light blue touch paper.....
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Why do swingers think it's ok to be racist?
If you put no asians, no black, or anything similar, that is racist - no matter how many times you type "just my choice" after it.
Yes this is a sex site and people are not looking for soulmates. That may mean certain positive personality traits are less likely to cut through a desire for certain physical characteristics.
But ruling people out on ethnicity or for that matter putting them at the top of your list for the same reason goes beyond the world of preference into prejudice.
If you don't believe me, try going into work later and telling your boss you don't want a black person on your team - just my preference! |
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Yes but...
Having a black person on your team isn’t the same.
You’re not expecting to indulge in sexual relations with your team mate.
Some people just express an opinion that’s personal to them. It could be for simply aesthetic reasons.
If someone expresses an opinion based on what they deem to be attractive to them you can’t tell them that they’re wrong for it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Let's make this simple and clear. There is a difference between saying:
all black/asian/white people are unattractive
And
I dont find black/asian/white people sexually attractive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please explain how by having a preference is racist? "
Maybe it isn't.
Maybe the landlords in the 60s and 70s etc who preferred not to let property to blacks, asians and Irish weren't racist.
Maybe golf clubs who preferred to have men only membership weren't sexist.
Maybe South Africans who preferred to limit access to places and stuff with their "Net Blankes" signs weren't racist either.
Maybe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please explain how by having a preference is racist?
Maybe it isn't.
Maybe the landlords in the 60s and 70s etc who preferred not to let property to blacks, asians and Irish weren't racist.
Maybe golf clubs who preferred to have men only membership weren't sexist.
Maybe South Africans who preferred to limit access to places and stuff with their "Net Blankes" signs weren't racist either.
Maybe."
And maybe that was quite some time ago |
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So how is the best way for people to relay their preferences if everything like like and want can then give them some label? To me a preference is a preference and shouldn’t be deemed a racist a sexist or any other label ... freedom of choice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have many friends from all different creeds but I wouldn't choose to sleep with say someone who was say Asian.
Does that make me racist
Why? "
Why would I?
Because its my preference |
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"I have many friends from all different creeds but I wouldn't choose to sleep with say someone who was say Asian.
Does that make me racist "
Not necessarily, it depends what your reasons are for having that preference.
Ps I disagree with the OPs point btw! |
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"Why do swingers think it's ok to be racist?
If you put no asians, no black, or anything similar, that is racist - no matter how many times you type "just my choice" after it.
Yes this is a sex site and people are not looking for soulmates. That may mean certain positive personality traits are less likely to cut through a desire for certain physical characteristics.
But ruling people out on ethnicity or for that matter putting them at the top of your list for the same reason goes beyond the world of preference into prejudice.
If you don't believe me, try going into work later and telling your boss you don't want a black person on your team - just my preference!"
Racists can be swingers too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have many friends from all different creeds but I wouldn't choose to sleep with say someone who was say Asian.
Does that make me racist
Not necessarily, it depends what your reasons are for having that preference.
Ps I disagree with the OPs point btw!"
I just don't find Asian women sexual appealing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please explain how by having a preference is racist?
Maybe it isn't.
Maybe the landlords in the 60s and 70s etc who preferred not to let property to blacks, asians and Irish weren't racist.
Maybe golf clubs who preferred to have men only membership weren't sexist.
Maybe South Africans who preferred to limit access to places and stuff with their "Net Blankes" signs weren't racist either.
Maybe.
And maybe that was quite some time ago"
No maybe about it. But the principle holds. Preferences based upon sex, gender identity, skin colour etc etc are sexist, racist etc. No maybe there either.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have many friends from all different creeds but I wouldn't choose to sleep with say someone who was say Asian.
Does that make me racist
Not necessarily, it depends what your reasons are for having that preference.
Ps I disagree with the OPs point btw!
I just don't find Asian women sexual appealing "
Why?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can express a preference in more than one way so maybe
Prefer white guys.
Rather than excluding certain races
Just a thought ? Is that still racist ? "
I'd say so, yes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have many friends from all different creeds but I wouldn't choose to sleep with say someone who was say Asian.
Does that make me racist
Not necessarily, it depends what your reasons are for having that preference.
Ps I disagree with the OPs point btw!
I just don't find Asian women sexual appealing
Why?
"
Because I have a choice  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can express a preference in more than one way so maybe
Prefer white guys.
Rather than excluding certain races
Just a thought ? Is that still racist ?
I'd say so, yes."
I'd say you are just looking for an argument |
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"I have many friends from all different creeds but I wouldn't choose to sleep with say someone who was say Asian.
Does that make me racist
Not necessarily, it depends what your reasons are for having that preference.
Ps I disagree with the OPs point btw!
I just don't find Asian women sexual appealing "
Forgive me, I was hoping for a deeper analysis of your view, it's a good conversation!
We all have preferences, mine is for younger men in this lifestyle who also excite my interest, if I think hard about it their are a range of simple and complex reasons for my preference.
Obviously this world mirrors the real one, some members will express a racial preference because they're racists-they're perfectly entitled to be, others might have more complex reasons for racial preferences |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s all about what turns you on and if a black/Asian/white person doesn’t turn you on, then you can say that. It’s not racist. Just like when I see profiles that say no skinny guys, no bald guys, no beards etc etc. You’re not discriminating it’s just what floats your boat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please explain how by having a preference is racist?
Maybe it isn't.
Maybe the landlords in the 60s and 70s etc who preferred not to let property to blacks, asians and Irish weren't racist.
Maybe golf clubs who preferred to have men only membership weren't sexist.
Maybe South Africans who preferred to limit access to places and stuff with their "Net Blankes" signs weren't racist either.
Maybe.
And maybe that was quite some time ago"
And totally different to being intimate with someone, no?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please explain how by having a preference is racist?
Maybe it isn't.
Maybe the landlords in the 60s and 70s etc who preferred not to let property to blacks, asians and Irish weren't racist.
Maybe golf clubs who preferred to have men only membership weren't sexist.
Maybe South Africans who preferred to limit access to places and stuff with their "Net Blankes" signs weren't racist either.
Maybe.
And maybe that was quite some time ago
And totally different to being intimate with someone, no?! "
Amen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please explain how by having a preference is racist?
Maybe it isn't.
Maybe the landlords in the 60s and 70s etc who preferred not to let property to blacks, asians and Irish weren't racist.
Maybe golf clubs who preferred to have men only membership weren't sexist.
Maybe South Africans who preferred to limit access to places and stuff with their "Net Blankes" signs weren't racist either.
Maybe.
And maybe that was quite some time ago
And totally different to being intimate with someone, no?! "
I think this comparison is only valid if you're a hooker. Denial of a paid for service based on race |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can express a preference in more than one way so maybe
Prefer white guys.
Rather than excluding certain races
Just a thought ? Is that still racist ?
I'd say so, yes.
I'd say you are just looking for an argument "
Not entirely
Trying to provoke a little thought - what is it about asians (for instance) that rules them out for some?
FFS they aren't all mingers - for instance Shilpa Shetty, Kristy Lou Stout, Lucy Liu... there are loads of gorgeous asian ladies. If folk won't meet people of a specific skin colour, regardless of other factors, what can that be aside from racism.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd quote a lady I know that dislikes black or dark skin as in her words it looks "greasy" but for me I like dark skin as I think the way the light strikes it highlights the muscle tone. That's not being racist its an aesthetic preference
So anyone that states no BBW is being weightiest and same goes for those who say no one under 6ft tall are discriminating against short people ...oh and the classic "at least eight inches". Sorry guys but no small penises   |
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Not really no.
For arguments sake, let is imagine your ideal sexual partner is male,tall and muscular. You prefer them cut and girthy with little to no body hair. It's important that they have good personal hygiene. You want them to smell nice but in a male way and not like the cosmetics section in House of Fraser. They should be able to hold a conversation and make you feel that they want the meet to be as much about your pleasure as theirs. But also you don't want a relationship, just a single meet as from past experience blokes who meet again always become a bit clingy sooner or later.
You get a message linked to a profile that is all those things but the title is Asian Guy, so without even opening you click delete.......
They were pretty much everything you were looking for but you couldn't see past the label/skin colour. That is racist.
The level of intimacy is irrelevant.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not really no.
For arguments sake, let is imagine your ideal sexual partner is male,tall and muscular. You prefer them cut and girthy with little to no body hair. It's important that they have good personal hygiene. You want them to smell nice but in a male way and not like the cosmetics section in House of Fraser. They should be able to hold a conversation and make you feel that they want the meet to be as much about your pleasure as theirs. But also you don't want a relationship, just a single meet as from past experience blokes who meet again always become a bit clingy sooner or later.
You get a message linked to a profile that is all those things but the title is Asian Guy, so without even opening you click delete.......
They were pretty much everything you were looking for but you couldn't see past the label/skin colour. That is racist.
The level of intimacy is irrelevant.
"
No it isn't... They just don't like dark skin. Read the replies and stop cramming your opinions down our throat s. You're viewpoint is near as bad racist |
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I don't know why people even mention it really. Why not rely on photos? If it isn't solely about race and its just about not finding a particular type attractive it's easy enough to tell from that surely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not really no.
For arguments sake, let is imagine your ideal sexual partner is male,tall and muscular. You prefer them cut and girthy with little to no body hair. It's important that they have good personal hygiene. You want them to smell nice but in a male way and not like the cosmetics section in House of Fraser. They should be able to hold a conversation and make you feel that they want the meet to be as much about your pleasure as theirs. But also you don't want a relationship, just a single meet as from past experience blokes who meet again always become a bit clingy sooner or later.
You get a message linked to a profile that is all those things but the title is Asian Guy, so without even opening you click delete.......
They were pretty much everything you were looking for but you couldn't see past the label/skin colour. That is racist.
The level of intimacy is irrelevant.
"
Spot on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not really no.
For arguments sake, let is imagine your ideal sexual partner is male,tall and muscular. You prefer them cut and girthy with little to no body hair. It's important that they have good personal hygiene. You want them to smell nice but in a male way and not like the cosmetics section in House of Fraser. They should be able to hold a conversation and make you feel that they want the meet to be as much about your pleasure as theirs. But also you don't want a relationship, just a single meet as from past experience blokes who meet again always become a bit clingy sooner or later.
You get a message linked to a profile that is all those things but the title is Asian Guy, so without even opening you click delete.......
They were pretty much everything you were looking for but you couldn't see past the label/skin colour. That is racist.
The level of intimacy is irrelevant.
No it isn't... They just don't like dark skin. Read the replies and stop cramming your opinions down our throat s. You're viewpoint is near as bad racist"
Sorry, that's garbage. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh, god, this old argument AGAIN?
If you don't like what you're reading, just move on FFS"
Sound advice. There'll be another one along in a minute - the good old cheating one maybe. Always good for a laugh. |
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Not going to be cramming anything down your throat....merely trying to explain the thinking behind my post.....
and trying to get people to think about this themselves.
I wasn't sure why of all the folks who've responded, you seem to have been so particularly upset, until I re-read my original post about putting people top of their list.
Of all the replies so far, you're the only person who has expressed a racial preference, albeit an inclusive rather than exclusive one.
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"Oh, god, this old argument AGAIN?
If you don't like what you're reading, just move on FFS"
Apologies AG - I can't recall seeing this discussed here, but I'll be honest I'm not a full time resident in the forums. I know some topics...bareback...timewasters etc, do come around as regular as a 140 bus! |
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"Please explain how by having a preference is racist?
Maybe it isn't.
Maybe the landlords in the 60s and 70s etc who preferred not to let property to blacks, asians and Irish weren't racist.
Maybe golf clubs who preferred to have men only membership weren't sexist.
Maybe South Africans who preferred to limit access to places and stuff with their "Net Blankes" signs weren't racist either.
Maybe."
So now you want to take everyone's choice away and make them have sex with people they don't find attractive, well that makes it all OK them |
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"Oh, god, this old argument AGAIN?
If you don't like what you're reading, just move on FFS
Apologies AG - I can't recall seeing this discussed here, but I'll be honest I'm not a full time resident in the forums. I know some topics...bareback...timewasters etc, do come around as regular as a 140 bus! "
That is true, OP, they do. This one does, too, albeit less frequently. I'm probably just in a grump today, but seeing the same topics over and over again ad infinitum is causing me to rapidly lose interest in this place |
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"Oh, god, this old argument AGAIN?
If you don't like what you're reading, just move on FFS
Sound advice. There'll be another one along in a minute - the good old cheating one maybe. Always good for a laugh."
Or for losing the will to live to - it's a fine line  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The BBC argument has been mentioned... But what if the op is straight and I want hubby to fuck him.. Op refuses and he lists as straight.. Is he now being sexist as he won't fuck someone he isn't attractes too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not going to be cramming anything down your throat....merely trying to explain the thinking behind my post.....
and trying to get people to think about this themselves.
I wasn't sure why of all the folks who've responded, you seem to have been so particularly upset, until I re-read my original post about putting people top of their list.
Of all the replies so far, you're the only person who has expressed a racial preference, albeit an inclusive rather than exclusive one.
"
Because folks get tired of being labelled racist for a "sexual" preference. Your analogy of someone not wanting a black team member can't be used in the same context as not wanting black or asians for sex play.
I have an inclusive like because I appreciate dark skin. I was a body builder in younger days and won contests at national level. In case you're not familiar with such contests. ALL contestants cut up (diet stringently) and apply a liberal coating of fake tanning cream for the actual presentation. When lighting hits the torso at an angle, the proud parts shine and the voids are shaded and enhances the muscle definement
It is one my preferences therefore for dark skinned people and as I also gave you a specific example of a girl I know who prefers the opposite.
So your generalisation of peoples preference being racist I find offensive BUT ...of course in the scenario of a team member not wanting any black or Asians to be part of their group...then yes I would say that is without doubt racist
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The main problem you have OP is that racism is very subjective. One person's racism is someone else's insensitive comment is someone else's witty comment is someone else harmless word.
It always comes down to context and intent |
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I don’t think it’s racist as such to express a preference BUT the reasoning behind that preference may be racist.
So for example, Tommy Robinson tries to vilify all Muslims by promoting the assumption that all Muslims are paedophile abusers because a minority were exactly that. That’s racist. Because most aren’t paedophiles, he’s extrapolating from a very small sample and applying that to a whole population.
Saying I don’t generally find (hypothetically) Chinese girls attractive isn’t racist. I don’t but some bowl me over. If however I stated “no Chinese” on my profile because I met one once that had bad breath then that would be racist (IMHO). Why? Because I’m basically writing off a whole group of people on a prejudice extrapolated from a single experience.
I have no doubt there are Asian men who are obnoxious nasty misogynists who disrespect women. If that’s why you might say “no Asians” then that’s racist as it makes the assumption that all asian men are like that. But it may well be that you just don’t find brown skin attractive. Not racist. I do wonder how many of the “no Asians” would kick Dev Patel or Jimi Mistry out of bed though
Declaration of interest. I’m brown skinned but British born and bred. Once read a few profiles where I’ve thought I’d be a perfect match but have then seen the no Asians. Their loss!
Bottom line is that it’s not binary racist/not racist, it’s far more nuanced. And as life is short, if I see a “no Asians” I just move on as it not for me to question potential prejudice or start fights. |
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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago
Henley Arden |
It’s simple
If having the black/white preference was racist then it would not be allowed by law on this web site.
Having the option on the web site proves it’s a lawful choice. Ergo not racist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s simple
If having the black/white preference was racist then it would not be allowed by law on this web site.
Having the option on the web site proves it’s a lawful choice. Ergo not racist. "
It's here therefore it's OK doesn't hold water, I'm afraid.
The law allows expression of a variety of vile opinions - things can be strictly lawful and still be racist.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This never ends well ...we all have preferences...doesn't make us any less human by doing so.
I dont care what creed , colour , race or religion a person is... |
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By *erdyWoman
over a year ago
wiltshire |
I don't think it's necessarily racist. I'm south Asian and have never been with a Asian man myself. My preference had always been white men. But saying that I would never put no Asians or black men on my profile, as I believe it is very offensive and unnecessary. I wouldn't want anyone to feel crap. To me it's simple, just delete the message. I do think it should be against site rules to put no Asian or black men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok so i personally do not find black, asian people attractive, this is in no way racist there are some white people i don't find attractive either, i am not a racist my sister is married to a black guy and i have a mixed race niece.
So could someone explain .... if its racist to say “black or asian or Pakistani” what terminology should i use before i get arrested by the moral police.
It was racist to use the term coloured so was changed to having the word black as acceptable now we cant even say that!!
Black people call each other black or even the N word but if anyone else does WE ARE RACIST????
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"Ok so i personally do not find black, asian people attractive, this is in no way racist there are some white people i don't find attractive either, i am not a racist my sister is married to a black guy and i have a mixed race niece.
So could someone explain .... if its racist to say “black or asian or Pakistani” what terminology should i use before i get arrested by the moral police.
It was racist to use the term coloured so was changed to having the word black as acceptable now we cant even say that!!
Black people call each other black or even the N word but if anyone else does WE ARE RACIST????
"
I don't think the OP's complaining about the terminology!
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"It’s simple
If having the black/white preference was racist then it would not be allowed by law on this web site.
Having the option on the web site proves it’s a lawful choice. Ergo not racist. "
The only filters are for profile type, age and sexuality. the site doesn't give you a race option. |
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How about, don't use any terms, or state any preferences based purely off of the colour of a person's skin.
Granted, a personal preference that you don't find X attractive and won't meet them isn't racist.
But how about just politely declining to meet the people you don't find attractive.
It's very simple.
I get that writing it down can limit the amount of messages and whatnot, but come on people, as if you don't have the extra minute to just say "no thank you" and be done with it. |
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"Yeah i get that but preference should NOT be in the same bracket as racism "
I don't disagree, the OP was ill conceived, however the argument's been polarised with him taking an extreme stance whilst his detractors say expressing the 'preference' isn't racist but racist members will obviously express it also, so their motivation is a racist one, whilst others will just view it as a preference, so it can't be said it's racist across the board, but certainly is in some cases.
Personally, as I said earlier this lifestyle mirrors real life, there will be racist members here just as there are at work, in the pub and all areas of life.
They're entitled to live as they choose provided it doesn't damage anyone (in my opinion). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do swingers think it's ok to be racist?
If you put no asians, no black, or anything similar, that is racist - no matter how many times you type "just my choice" after it.
Yes this is a sex site and people are not looking for soulmates. That may mean certain positive personality traits are less likely to cut through a desire for certain physical characteristics.
But ruling people out on ethnicity or for that matter putting them at the top of your list for the same reason goes beyond the world of preference into prejudice.
If you don't believe me, try going into work later and telling your boss you don't want a black person on your team - just my preference!"
Think how I confuse people. I’m mixed race, white/Indian.
So, when people’s profiles state ‘no Asian men’ (which I always find amusing because it’s like a club saying ‘no men called Lance’. Who knows you might be attracted to someone’s personality!) I always ask, whether I’m for them, being mixed race.
A lot of people don’t like it and others don’t mind. Some don’t even notice. I do find it find it funny though when such a profile drops in to my inbox and they like what they see and even my face pictures then I tell them and they turn in to Casper. |
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"Is saying no beards hair-ist?
No gingers, gingerist?
No smokers please, smell-ist?
No, it’s all preference.
Happy fabbing (oops, website-ist) "
Personally, I go for personality first. But not everyone works like that, so be it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do swingers think it's ok to be racist?
If you put no asians, no black, or anything similar, that is racist - no matter how many times you type "just my choice" after it.
Yes this is a sex site and people are not looking for soulmates. That may mean certain positive personality traits are less likely to cut through a desire for certain physical characteristics.
But ruling people out on ethnicity or for that matter putting them at the top of your list for the same reason goes beyond the world of preference into prejudice.
If you don't believe me, try going into work later and telling your boss you don't want a black person on your team - just my preference!
Racists can be swingers too! "
Haha
They would type, meeting white folk only x |
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"Is saying no beards hair-ist?
No gingers, gingerist?
No smokers please, smell-ist?
No, it’s all preference.
Happy fabbing (oops, website-ist) "
Yeah, you have a point, but I'll argue this.
Everything you stated, a person can change about themselves, with a shave, hair dye, or willpower to stop smoking.
You try and not be white anymore....
THEN you'd be really racist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is saying no beards hair-ist?
No gingers, gingerist?
No smokers please, smell-ist?
No, it’s all preference.
Happy fabbing (oops, website-ist)
Personally, I go for personality first. But not everyone works like that, so be it. "
Good points.
I myself have often been traumatised by the ageist, hairist, littledickist evil bastards on Fab. It's a cruel world. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is saying no beards hair-ist?
No gingers, gingerist?
No smokers please, smell-ist?
No, it’s all preference.
Happy fabbing (oops, website-ist)
Yeah, you have a point, but I'll argue this.
Everything you stated, a person can change about themselves, with a shave, hair dye, or willpower to stop smoking.
You try and not be white anymore....
THEN you'd be really racist."
Michael Jackson was doing quite well at not being black anymore. |
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"Ok so i personally do not find black, asian people attractive, this is in no way racist there are some white people i don't find attractive either, i am not a racist my sister is married to a black guy and i have a mixed race niece.
So could someone explain .... if its racist to say “black or asian or Pakistani” what terminology should i use before i get arrested by the moral police.
It was racist to use the term coloured so was changed to having the word black as acceptable now we cant even say that!!
Black people call each other black or even the N word but if anyone else does WE ARE RACIST????
"
Calling someone who is black, black = not racist
Calling someone who is black the N word = racist (IMO) |
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"Is saying no beards hair-ist?
No gingers, gingerist?
No smokers please, smell-ist?
No, it’s all preference.
Happy fabbing (oops, website-ist)
Yeah, you have a point, but I'll argue this.
Everything you stated, a person can change about themselves, with a shave, hair dye, or willpower to stop smoking.
You try and not be white anymore....
THEN you'd be really racist.
Michael Jackson was doing quite well at not being black anymore."
Yeah, when you have vitiligo, it's sorta out of your hands....
And yes, he did have work done to lighten his skin, to hide the fact that he had vitiligo. |
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|
By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
I tend to be more attracted to white guys, I don't give a flying testicle if OP thinks that's racist, I refuse to shag someone I'm not attracted to just to appease someone else's high and mighty bullshit |
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"I tend to be more attracted to white guys, I don't give a flying testicle if OP thinks that's racist, I refuse to shag someone I'm not attracted to just to appease someone else's high and mighty bullshit "
You are not racist, you said tend to, meaning not only.
And stated attraction as the major factor.
OP is referencing people who flat out state they will not people of X skin colour. |
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In that case change your sexuality to bi and start sucking dick because not being attracted to men is sexist and you couldn't go into work and demand no men on your team!
People can't control what they are attracted to. Stop gatekeeping and get over it. |
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"So by your logic then is it Racist if a man or woman is seeking a BBC instead of a BWC?
Yep."
Ok so by your logic I am being racist right? Although I prefer to think of men as more than just a cock so my profile states black men. I am curious as who it is you think I’m being racist towards? (I am married to a white man as we met at school and have been together for over 25 years however I have always found black men attractive) |
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"Why do swingers think it's ok to be racist?
If you put no asians, no black, or anything similar, that is racist - no matter how many times you type "just my choice" after it.
Yes this is a sex site and people are not looking for soulmates. That may mean certain positive personality traits are less likely to cut through a desire for certain physical characteristics.
But ruling people out on ethnicity or for that matter putting them at the top of your list for the same reason goes beyond the world of preference into prejudice.
If you don't believe me, try going into work later and telling your boss you don't want a black person on your team - just my preference!"
You belittle those who have suffered real racism with your white knight post.
You clearly have no idea. |
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"In that case change your sexuality to bi and start sucking dick because not being attracted to men is sexist and you couldn't go into work and demand no men on your team!
People can't control what they are attracted to. Stop gatekeeping and get over it."
This is an absolutely ridiculous statement.
It's already established that you aren't being made to fuck the people you work with, and that physical attraction plays no part in a working team.
I agree that people need to get over it, mostly by not stating preferences on their profile, and just politely declining meets of people they don't find attractive.
|
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"
You belittle those who have suffered real racism with your white knight post.
You clearly have no idea."
So tell me at what point does this statement hit what you would term real racism: "no Irish, no blacks, no dogs?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Is it ok if I put "no dickheads, drama queens, gold diggers, smelly people, or people who don't read books"
This topic will ALWAYS divide and NEVER be resolved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do swingers think it's ok to be racist?
If you put no asians, no black, or anything similar, that is racist - no matter how many times you type "just my choice" after it.
Yes this is a sex site and people are not looking for soulmates. That may mean certain positive personality traits are less likely to cut through a desire for certain physical characteristics.
But ruling people out on ethnicity or for that matter putting them at the top of your list for the same reason goes beyond the world of preference into prejudice.
If you don't believe me, try going into work later and telling your boss you don't want a black person on your team - just my preference!
You belittle those who have suffered real racism with your white knight post.
You clearly have no idea."
This.
White people defining what is and isn’t racist. |
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|
By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"I tend to be more attracted to white guys, I don't give a flying testicle if OP thinks that's racist, I refuse to shag someone I'm not attracted to just to appease someone else's high and mighty bullshit
You are not racist, you said tend to, meaning not only.
And stated attraction as the major factor.
OP is referencing people who flat out state they will not people of X skin colour."
Yes and for the majority of those it's just an attraction thing. |
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"
You belittle those who have suffered real racism with your white knight post.
You clearly have no idea.
So tell me at what point does this statement hit what you would term real racism: "no Irish, no blacks, no dogs?""
Troll |
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"I tend to be more attracted to white guys, I don't give a flying testicle if OP thinks that's racist, I refuse to shag someone I'm not attracted to just to appease someone else's high and mighty bullshit
You are not racist, you said tend to, meaning not only.
And stated attraction as the major factor.
OP is referencing people who flat out state they will not people of X skin colour.
Yes and for the majority of those it's just an attraction thing. "
Yeah, and that's fine.
It's still no reason to be as blunt as some people are about the matter, as it does sometimes make them come across as racist, when actually they are just looking for somebody to fit their preferences.
As I said, nobody should state preferences on their profile and just take the minute to politely decline if you don't find somebody attractive. |
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|
By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"I tend to be more attracted to white guys, I don't give a flying testicle if OP thinks that's racist, I refuse to shag someone I'm not attracted to just to appease someone else's high and mighty bullshit
You are not racist, you said tend to, meaning not only.
And stated attraction as the major factor.
OP is referencing people who flat out state they will not people of X skin colour.
Yes and for the majority of those it's just an attraction thing.
Yeah, and that's fine.
It's still no reason to be as blunt as some people are about the matter, as it does sometimes make them come across as racist, when actually they are just looking for somebody to fit their preferences.
As I said, nobody should state preferences on their profile and just take the minute to politely decline if you don't find somebody attractive."
Of course people should state preferences, it's ridiculous to say they shouldn't. |
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"OP I would prefer not to receive private messages if you want to answer my question about who I’m being racist towards then please do it here
OK - you're being racist by lumping all black men together, That smacks of "they're all the same."
"
Ok |
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"OP I would prefer not to receive private messages if you want to answer my question about who I’m being racist towards then please do it here"
OK - you're being racist by lumping all black men together, That smacks of "they're all the same."
|
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"OP I would prefer not to receive private messages if you want to answer my question about who I’m being racist towards then please do it here
OK - you're being racist by lumping all black men together, That smacks of "they're all the same."
"
Ok thanks for answering |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do swingers think it's ok to be racist?
If you put no asians, no black, or anything similar, that is racist - no matter how many times you type "just my choice" after it.
Yes this is a sex site and people are not looking for soulmates. That may mean certain positive personality traits are less likely to cut through a desire for certain physical characteristics.
But ruling people out on ethnicity or for that matter putting them at the top of your list for the same reason goes beyond the world of preference into prejudice.
If you don't believe me, try going into work later and telling your boss you don't want a black person on your team - just my preference!"
********************
I think the clue is there in the heading.
You're taking the pi**
Looking for controversy, eh..?!
(If not, I'm sorry but, in my sincere opinion, you are severely deluded)
Eva X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'll just say this before everything goes nuclear. People have every right to state what type of person they would like to meet. It's their preference based on attraction. In a job you select people based on ability, for sexual relationships it's based on attraction. At work I can state that I do not want a candidate without a degree and on my Fab profile I can state that I do not want men, black or otherwise. It really is that simple. |
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"I'll just say this before everything goes nuclear. People have every right to state what type of person they would like to meet. It's their preference based on attraction. In a job you select people based on ability, for sexual relationships it's based on attraction. At work I can state that I do not want a candidate without a degree and on my Fab profile I can state that I do not want men, black or otherwise. It really is that simple."
That quite clearly makes you sexist AND racist |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Let's make this simple and clear. There is a difference between saying:
all black/asian/white people are unattractive
And
I dont find black/asian/white people sexually attractive "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll just say this before everything goes nuclear. People have every right to state what type of person they would like to meet. It's their preference based on attraction. In a job you select people based on ability, for sexual relationships it's based on attraction. At work I can state that I do not want a candidate without a degree and on my Fab profile I can state that I do not want men, black or otherwise. It really is that simple.
That quite clearly makes you sexist AND racist :-
D"
Oh shit, was it that obvious? |
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Personally I'd judge people by how attracted I am to them, how their personality matches mine and how willing they are to get naked with me. Skin colour is irrelevant. If i dont like someone then a polite 'no" and maybe a block. |
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"If a black man puts “no white women” does that make him a racist too??"
Probably not, but it's a good point, I don't think I've ever seen a black male's profile where he excludes white women or a black female who excludes white males. |
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"Why do swingers think it's ok to be racist?
If you put no asians, no black, or anything similar, that is racist - no matter how many times you type "just my choice" after it.
Yes this is a sex site and people are not looking for soulmates. That may mean certain positive personality traits are less likely to cut through a desire for certain physical characteristics.
But ruling people out on ethnicity or for that matter putting them at the top of your list for the same reason goes beyond the world of preference into prejudice.
If you don't believe me, try going into work later and telling your boss you don't want a black person on your team - just my preference!
You belittle those who have suffered real racism with your white knight post.
You clearly have no idea.
This.
White people defining what is and isn’t racist. "
Sorry if I’ve got the wrong end of the stick ... but are you saying white people arent in a position to define what’s racist? |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Why do swingers think it's ok to be racist?
If you put no asians, no black, or anything similar, that is racist - no matter how many times you type "just my choice" after it.
Yes this is a sex site and people are not looking for soulmates. That may mean certain positive personality traits are less likely to cut through a desire for certain physical characteristics.
But ruling people out on ethnicity or for that matter putting them at the top of your list for the same reason goes beyond the world of preference into prejudice.
If you don't believe me, try going into work later and telling your boss you don't want a black person on your team - just my preference!
You belittle those who have suffered real racism with your white knight post.
You clearly have no idea.
This.
White people defining what is and isn’t racist. "
Anyone can experience racism. |
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"Why do swingers think it's ok to be racist?
If you put no asians, no black, or anything similar, that is racist - no matter how many times you type "just my choice" after it.
Yes this is a sex site and people are not looking for soulmates. That may mean certain positive personality traits are less likely to cut through a desire for certain physical characteristics.
But ruling people out on ethnicity or for that matter putting them at the top of your list for the same reason goes beyond the world of preference into prejudice.
If you don't believe me, try going into work later and telling your boss you don't want a black person on your team - just my preference!"
It isn’t racist at all
Racism is when a person shows or feels discrimination or prejudice against people of other races, or who believes that a particular race is superior to another.
Whom one is sexually attracted to is very different to whom one is best friends with or wants on ‘their team’
I don’t find blonde or ginger men sexually attractive but have loads of male mates that I love spending time with - as friends. Not ever have I wanted to have sex with them
I think it’s more important to concentrate on who finds you sexually attractive rather than who doesn’t
|
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"
I think the clue is there in the heading.
You're taking the pi**
Looking for controversy, eh..?!
(If not, I'm sorry but, in my sincere opinion, you are severely deluded)
Eva X"
Nope.This wasn't either a joke or some sudden desire to create the longest thread I've ever initiated on here.
I've thought this for a long time. I knew it would prove controversial because you see the phrase not frequently, but regularly. I don't believe everyone who uses it is racist. But the phrase itself is.
|
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"
You belittle those who have suffered real racism with your white knight post.
You clearly have no idea.
So tell me at what point does this statement hit what you would term real racism: "no Irish, no blacks, no dogs?"
Troll "
And you describe ourselves as open minded. If you don't want a reply, then don't post on the thread. So far you're the only one belittling with your posts. I suggest before you respond, you read the bit at the top of the reply page about not badmouthing people.
As I've said to others, this thread has not been used to target any individuals. Indeed where the answer to a question posed here has risked citing their profile, I have usually responded privately.
I'm not going to read yours in detail, but I've obviously hit a nerve given the personal vitriol you are dishing out. Plenty of others have disagreed, sometimes forcefully without resorting to insults. |
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"There is a difference between forms of social discrimination and personal choice"
I wouldn't disagree. Nobody is suggesting the swinging equivalent of bussing where people are forced to play with those they don't find attractive, but given the huge range of people covered by labels like black or Asian, can there ever be a rational case that not one of them would ever be attractive to a person?
I've heard the line from some that "you don't want to sleep with men so you're sexist."
That fails to grasp the concept that orientation isn't a choice. I no more decided to choose from the straight box than gay men opted to be attracted to other men rather than women.You can choose who you like from your box....or do I mean whatever bag you are into. But if you first ask for all the black ones to be taken out, that is social discrimination.
|
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Hey OP
I’ve been really surprised by the racism on the swinging scene. It feels like stepping back in time.
As people form these “preferences” they need to remind themselves that they’ve been subjected to a lifetime’s conditioning about who is attractive/trustworthy/“masculine”/intelligent etc.
The stereotyping on the swinging scene is shocking: “BBC”, “Asian men are pushy”, “Queen of Spades”, the hypersecualisation if black men etc etc. I hate it.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ok so I used to meet a male who wouldn't meet anyone Asian because it reminded him of going to Thailand and the sex slavery that happens there.
He felt that those women appeared vulnerable to him and he didn't feel comfortable.
Does that make him a racist?
People usually have some kind of logic behind their preferences even if they don't want to say it.
|
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"
White people defining what is and isn’t racist.
Anyone can experience racism. "
That's true but I don't believe it's helpful for one group to tell another whose historical and contextual experience of racism is completely different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so I used to meet a male who wouldn't meet anyone Asian because it reminded him of going to Thailand and the sex slavery that happens there.
He felt that those women appeared vulnerable to him and he didn't feel comfortable.
Does that make him a racist?
People usually have some kind of logic behind their preferences even if they don't want to say it.
"
I get that but I really don't understand why people would rule out 60% of the worlds population just because of the continent they were born on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So if you're a straight guy, looking to meet someone for anal sex, and a man propositions you, are you homophobic if you turn him down purely because he's male?
By your logic OP, the answer is yes.
The fact is that everyone has preferences for or against a wide range of things. And with intimacy anyone can be excluded for any reason at all. It's not racist, homophobic, transphobic etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So by your logic then is it Racist if a man or woman is seeking a BBC instead of a BWC?
Yep."
No you're generalising again. In the world of sex we often have deviation preferences. For instance there are black guys happy to be of assistance to white women in their lust for the forbidden BBC and they also describe themselves as such.
I know some could word an advert or profile differently to filter out and reduce the amount of unwanted messages but to label them racist is insulting.
If they said "no fcuking blacks, honkey's or pakis" then I'm sure we could infer from that a racial overtone and hopefully we could report the comments as offensive to the Admin and have them warn the user accordingly.
The use of BBC, black, Asian etc is well used in hookup speak. I have a liking for black and Asian ladies and I should be able to say so without being labelled a racist and just for the record I also prefer white brunettes too...oh and with dark hairy muff too but I'm not ruling out blond girls with bald beavers, I'm just wanting meet a specific type. Sorry if I don't want BBW, its not meant to offend but I understand why they also don't want guys over 50 and bi...but I don't take offence, I just move on.
OP...if you start a contentious thread you should also keep all your replies out in the thread and not resort to private messages. If you offend folks then expect some kickback |
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"
White people defining what is and isn’t racist.
Anyone can experience racism.
That's true but I don't believe it's helpful for one group to tell another whose historical and contextual experience of racism is completely different."
I don’t believe it’s helpful to dismiss the views/comments of a group of people based purely on the colour of their skin. |
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|
By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"
White people defining what is and isn’t racist.
Anyone can experience racism.
That's true but I don't believe it's helpful for one group to tell another whose historical and contextual experience of racism is completely different.
I don’t believe it’s helpful to dismiss the views/comments of a group of people based purely on the colour of their skin. "
|
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"
White people defining what is and isn’t racist.
Anyone can experience racism.
That's true but I don't believe it's helpful for one group to tell another whose historical and contextual experience of racism is completely different.
I don’t believe it’s helpful to dismiss the views/comments of a group of people based purely on the colour of their skin. "
I certainly wasn't doing that. |
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"
White people defining what is and isn’t racist.
Anyone can experience racism.
That's true but I don't believe it's helpful for one group to tell another whose historical and contextual experience of racism is completely different.
I don’t believe it’s helpful to dismiss the views/comments of a group of people based purely on the colour of their skin.
I certainly wasn't doing that."
You definitely weren’t |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do swingers think it's ok to be racist?
If you put no asians, no black, or anything similar, that is racist - no matter how many times you type "just my choice" after it.
Yes this is a sex site and people are not looking for soulmates. That may mean certain positive personality traits are less likely to cut through a desire for certain physical characteristics.
But ruling people out on ethnicity or for that matter putting them at the top of your list for the same reason goes beyond the world of preference into prejudice.
If you don't believe me, try going into work later and telling your boss you don't want a black person on your team - just my preference!"
Why are you talking out of your backside? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Please explain how by having a preference is racist?
Maybe it isn't.
Maybe the landlords in the 60s and 70s etc who preferred not to let property to blacks, asians and Irish weren't racist.
Maybe golf clubs who preferred to have men only membership weren't sexist.
Maybe South Africans who preferred to limit access to places and stuff with their "Net Blankes" signs weren't racist either.
Maybe.
And maybe that was quite some time ago"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You can express a preference in more than one way so maybe
Prefer white guys.
Rather than excluding certain races
Just a thought ? Is that still racist ?
I'd say so, yes."
Is it bollocks at the end of the day it is people's preference, like women who prefer other women or men who prefer other men or black guys who prefer white women or men who prefer slim women or men who prefer big women, everyone is entitled to have a preference, it doesn't make them racist and it doesn't make them sexist, so stop talking out of your arse and saying that it is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So by your logic then is it Racist if a man or woman is seeking a BBC instead of a BWC?
Yep.
No you're generalising again. In the world of sex we often have deviation preferences. For instance there are black guys happy to be of assistance to white women in their lust for the forbidden BBC and they also describe themselves as such.
I know some could word an advert or profile differently to filter out and reduce the amount of unwanted messages but to label them racist is insulting.
If they said "no fcuking blacks, honkey's or pakis" then I'm sure we could infer from that a racial overtone and hopefully we could report the comments as offensive to the Admin and have them warn the user accordingly.
The use of BBC, black, Asian etc is well used in hookup speak. I have a liking for black and Asian ladies and I should be able to say so without being labelled a racist and just for the record I also prefer white brunettes too...oh and with dark hairy muff too but I'm not ruling out blond girls with bald beavers, I'm just wanting meet a specific type. Sorry if I don't want BBW, its not meant to offend but I understand why they also don't want guys over 50 and bi...but I don't take offence, I just move on.
OP...if you start a contentious thread you should also keep all your replies out in the thread and not resort to private messages. If you offend folks then expect some kickback"
Well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have many friends from all different creeds but I wouldn't choose to sleep with say someone who was say Asian.
Does that make me racist
Not necessarily, it depends what your reasons are for having that preference.
Ps I disagree with the OPs point btw!"
People shouldn't have to explain there preferences, it's their preference at the end of the day and has got fuck all to do with anyone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Please explain how by having a preference is racist?
Maybe it isn't.
Maybe the landlords in the 60s and 70s etc who preferred not to let property to blacks, asians and Irish weren't racist.
Maybe golf clubs who preferred to have men only membership weren't sexist.
Maybe South Africans who preferred to limit access to places and stuff with their "Net Blankes" signs weren't racist either.
Maybe.
And maybe that was quite some time ago
No maybe about it. But the principle holds. Preferences based upon sex, gender identity, skin colour etc etc are sexist, racist etc. No maybe there either.
"
are they bollocks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You can express a preference in more than one way so maybe
Prefer white guys.
Rather than excluding certain races
Just a thought ? Is that still racist ?
I'd say so, yes.
I'd say you are just looking for an argument
Not entirely
Trying to provoke a little thought - what is it about asians (for instance) that rules them out for some?
FFS they aren't all mingers - for instance Shilpa Shetty, Kristy Lou Stout, Lucy Liu... there are loads of gorgeous asian ladies. If folk won't meet people of a specific skin colour, regardless of other factors, what can that be aside from racism.
"
It's called not being attracted to them or finding them sexually appealing |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
Most of us work, live and socialise with people of all races, sexual orientations and shapes and sizes without prejudice or racism. When we have sex we do ot with people we find sexually attractive, and when we swing we often want to fulfill our sexual fantasies. That might not include thin people, or fat people or people with dark hair, or TVs, or bis, or Asians or whites, or people with tattoos, or bald or bearded men etc etc. That doesn't mean we are prejudiced against any of these people in everyday life, it simply means we are sexually turned on or off by particular physical features or that those features don't figure in our fantasies. To call people racist because of it is an insult too far. |
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"I have many friends from all different creeds but I wouldn't choose to sleep with say someone who was say Asian.
Does that make me racist
Not necessarily, it depends what your reasons are for having that preference.
Ps I disagree with the OPs point btw!
People shouldn't have to explain there preferences, it's their preference at the end of the day and has got fuck all to do with anyone else. "
Apparently I’m racist because my profile (username) lumps all black men together “like they’re all the same” even though my profile text states I have to have some sort of connection and attraction to anyone we meet |
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"I have many friends from all different creeds but I wouldn't choose to sleep with say someone who was say Asian.
Does that make me racist
Not necessarily, it depends what your reasons are for having that preference.
Ps I disagree with the OPs point btw!
People shouldn't have to explain there preferences, it's their preference at the end of the day and has got fuck all to do with anyone else. "
Calm down, please
My post had nothing to do with dictating whether people should justify a preference. It was inviting a wider and deeper discussion as to what motivates those preferences, as Ive said previously if there are racists here they're perfectly entitled to be here and meet who they want to, not sure why so many become animated when the term is used.
There seems to be a sledgehammer hammer approach to this subject, the OP started and his detractors have continued it.
All I would say is treat people respectfully, as individuals whether you like the colour of their skin or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the thread title had the exact effect that the OP desired, race will always be a contentious subject and tbh as I've said earlier RACE and PREFERENCE are NOT and should not be used in the same bracket.
My brother in law is Jamaican my niece is mixed race, HE says he doesn't find black women to his liking so...... is HE RACIST??
We have a preference in our profile THAT DOES NOT MAKE US IN ANYWAY RACISTS |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think people have their preferences and that's that. It's another question though why anyone would feel the need to say something like 'no asians' or 'no fat people' on their profile. I mean, it's easy enough to ignore messages from people you don't fancy without having to use crass phrases to warn them off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think people have their preferences and that's that. It's another question though why anyone would feel the need to say something like 'no asians' or 'no fat people' on their profile. I mean, it's easy enough to ignore messages from people you don't fancy without having to use crass phrases to warn them off."
Yep. This. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the thread title had the exact effect that the OP desired, race will always be a contentious subject and tbh as I've said earlier RACE and PREFERENCE are NOT and should not be used in the same bracket.
My brother in law is Jamaican my niece is mixed race, HE says he doesn't find black women to his liking so...... is HE RACIST??
We have a preference in our profile THAT DOES NOT MAKE US IN ANYWAY RACISTS "
You know, a "preference" expressed in that way, to exclude all black women simply because they are black surely can't be anything but racist.
Racism isn't the sole preserve of the white male.Quite the contrary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the thread title had the exact effect that the OP desired, race will always be a contentious subject and tbh as I've said earlier RACE and PREFERENCE are NOT and should not be used in the same bracket.
My brother in law is Jamaican my niece is mixed race, HE says he doesn't find black women to his liking so...... is HE RACIST??
We have a preference in our profile THAT DOES NOT MAKE US IN ANYWAY RACISTS
You know, a "preference" expressed in that way, to exclude all black women simply because they are black surely can't be anything but racist.
Racism isn't the sole preserve of the white male.Quite the contrary."
“Black Women” and “white male”??? |
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"So if you're a straight guy, looking to meet someone for anal sex, and a man propositions you, are you homophobic if you turn him down purely because he's male?
By your logic OP, the answer is yes.
The fact is that everyone has preferences for or against a wide range of things. And with intimacy anyone can be excluded for any reason at all. It's not racist, homophobic, transphobic etc."
Nope -see my earlier comment on this. Orientation isn't a lifestyle choice. Thinking anyone gay or straight chooses to be that way is homophobic. Having said that straight men have in certain situations "buggered" other men, but like r ape, that's about power and we're into a whole different area. |
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OP...if you start a contentious thread you should also keep all your replies out in the thread and not resort to private messages. If you offend folks then expect some kickback"
I've responded to most in the thread, but as I've said before where people have profiles that do exactly what I highlighted, sometimes I've responded directly as I never intended to single out individuals - this was not about naming and shaming but highlighting the practice across the site. |
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"My post had nothing to do with dictating whether people should justify a preference. It was inviting a wider and deeper discussion as to what motivates those preferences"
Are you seriously suggesting we now have to psychoanalyse ourselves as to why we find one person attractive but not another?
This is all becoming Way too much effort
And before you say that it's "so hat you can understand yourself better" it won't necessarily work. My general preference is for well built, chesty brunettes and redheads. However, I see plenty of people matching that description who don't do it for me, for whatever reason, and plenty of others who don't share those characteristics who turn me on immensely. So there's no rhyme or reason to who does or doesn't float my boat, and I'd imagine it's pretty much the same for everyone.
That said, I generally don't find Orientals attractive. I don't say so on my profile because the chances of being contacted by one (or anyone, for that matter ) are so remote as to be not worth considering. But were I a woman, especially a single one, that was likely to get bombarded with messages I'd probably state that solely to cut down on the number of messages received that will be of no interest to me |
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By *mcouple2Couple
over a year ago
Warrington |
"I don’t think it’s racist as such to express a preference BUT the reasoning behind that preference may be racist.
So for example, Tommy Robinson tries to vilify all Muslims by promoting the assumption that all Muslims are paedophile abusers because a minority were exactly that. That’s racist. Because most aren’t paedophiles, he’s extrapolating from a very small sample and applying that to a whole population.
Saying I don’t generally find (hypothetically) Chinese girls attractive isn’t racist. I don’t but some bowl me over. If however I stated “no Chinese” on my profile because I met one once that had bad breath then that would be racist (IMHO). Why? Because I’m basically writing off a whole group of people on a prejudice extrapolated from a single experience.
I have no doubt there are Asian men who are obnoxious nasty misogynists who disrespect women. If that’s why you might say “no Asians” then that’s racist as it makes the assumption that all asian men are like that. But it may well be that you just don’t find brown skin attractive. Not racist. I do wonder how many of the “no Asians” would kick Dev Patel or Jimi Mistry out of bed though
Declaration of interest. I’m brown skinned but British born and bred. Once read a few profiles where I’ve thought I’d be a perfect match but have then seen the no Asians. Their loss!
Bottom line is that it’s not binary racist/not racist, it’s far more nuanced. And as life is short, if I see a “no Asians” I just move on as it not for me to question potential prejudice or start fights. "
Islam is not a Race |
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OP...if you start a contentious thread you should also keep all your replies out in the thread and not resort to private messages. If you offend folks then expect some kickback
I've responded to most in the thread, but as I've said before where people have profiles that do exactly what I highlighted, sometimes I've responded directly as I never intended to single out individuals - this was not about naming and shaming but highlighting the practice across the site."
So why did you pm us  We don't have anything in our profile about who we won't meet, yet you felt the need to message and tell us we need to take a look at ourselves, everyone can make there oun choices and letting people know what they don't want saves peoples time and effort, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I've responded to most in the thread, but as I've said before where people have profiles that do exactly what I highlighted, sometimes I've responded directly as I never intended to single out individuals - this was not about naming and shaming but highlighting the practice across the site.
So why did you pm us We don't have anything in our profile about who we won't meet, yet you felt the need to message and tell us we need to take a look at ourselves, everyone can make there oun choices and letting people know what they don't want saves peoples time and effort, "
Pm’d us too and seems be narrow minded in his views and refuses to see other peoples view as valid ones |
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By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago
Sussex/Surrey |
"You can express a preference in more than one way so maybe
Prefer white guys.
Rather than excluding certain races
Just a thought ? Is that still racist ?
I'd say so, yes."
————
I haven’t read the whole thread so this may have been said further up.
Your profile reads
“Not at all gay, bi or curious, so less interested in couples where the male wants bi contact too.”
No more need be said really.
———————- |
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"
OP...if you start a contentious thread you should also keep all your replies out in the thread and not resort to private messages. If you offend folks then expect some kickback
I've responded to most in the thread, but as I've said before where people have profiles that do exactly what I highlighted, sometimes I've responded directly as I never intended to single out individuals - this was not about naming and shaming but highlighting the practice across the site.
So why did you pm us We don't have anything in our profile about who we won't meet, yet you felt the need to message and tell us we need to take a look at ourselves, everyone can make there oun choices and letting people know what they don't want saves peoples time and effort, "
I asked him if he thought I was racist after he Pmd us as I assume our profile is one of the ones he’s talking about. His reply can be seen further up the thread “yes I am racist as I’m lumping all black men together as if they’re all the same” my profile text does state I am not looking to meet every black man but rather there has to be a mutual attraction and connection |
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"
OP...if you start a contentious thread you should also keep all your replies out in the thread and not resort to private messages. If you offend folks then expect some kickback
I've responded to most in the thread, but as I've said before where people have profiles that do exactly what I highlighted, sometimes I've responded directly as I never intended to single out individuals - this was not about naming and shaming but highlighting the practice across the site.
So why did you pm us We don't have anything in our profile about who we won't meet, yet you felt the need to message and tell us we need to take a look at ourselves, everyone can make there oun choices and letting people know what they don't want saves peoples time and effort,
I asked him if he thought I was racist after he Pmd us as I assume our profile is one of the ones he’s talking about. His reply can be seen further up the thread “yes I am racist as I’m lumping all black men together as if they’re all the same” my profile text does state I am not looking to meet every black man but rather there has to be a mutual attraction and connection "
I'm thinking there is an ulterior motive behind his posts and messages, either he is racist and just wants to ster the pot up ,or its the only way he can get anyone to talk to him lol (no doubt we will get another message now ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I mean...no? But I understand what you're saying but you cant control what people say they want , some people have no interest in certain ethnicities (yes, some of them are definitely racist) but not all of them, sometimes people just prefer familiarity and are attracted as such, I'm in stoke right now for example and its alot more hit and miss than when I go back to London, it's just preferences , if there was an obvious racist tone with how its stated then sure you're correct, but for the most part it's not that deep (besides if they want to narrow their experiences down for comfort, let em, wouldnt want to be with or have sex with anyone who's main hang up is skin colour) |
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"I mean...no? But I understand what you're saying but you cant control what people say they want , some people have no interest in certain ethnicities (yes, some of them are definitely racist) but not all of them, sometimes people just prefer familiarity and are attracted as such, I'm in stoke right now for example and its alot more hit and miss than when I go back to London, it's just preferences , if there was an obvious racist tone with how its stated then sure you're correct, but for the most part it's not that deep (besides if they want to narrow their experiences down for comfort, let em, wouldnt want to be with or have sex with anyone who's main hang up is skin colour) "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well shit/hell's teeth and wow
No. 1 - let's not confuse race with culture
No. 2 - let's not forget they everyone will have their own personal experiences that impact their decision
No. 3 - people of colour can also be 'racist' or carry prejudice and PERSONAL CHOICE too
No. 4 - sex workers aren't being racist if they express preferences ( based on experience /personal choice ) ) and they aren't OBLIGED to see anyone either ( was kinda shocked to see this mentioned )
No. 5 - personal attractiveness is hugely variable, in this leftie/social justice warrior/white knighting world it is getting out of hand - no need to demonise anyone and nobody is ENTITLED to consideration. Not everything is for everyone. |
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"Why do swingers think it's ok to be racist?
If you put no asians, no black, or anything similar, that is racist - no matter how many times you type "just my choice" after it.
Yes this is a sex site and people are not looking for soulmates. That may mean certain positive personality traits are less likely to cut through a desire for certain physical characteristics.
But ruling people out on ethnicity or for that matter putting them at the top of your list for the same reason goes beyond the world of preference into prejudice.
If you don't believe me, try going into work later and telling your boss you don't want a black person on your team - just my preference!"
So if you dont want to have sex with me does that make you homophobic? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please explain how by having a preference is racist?
Maybe it isn't.
Maybe the landlords in the 60s and 70s etc who preferred not to let property to blacks, asians and Irish weren't racist.
Maybe golf clubs who preferred to have men only membership weren't sexist.
Maybe South Africans who preferred to limit access to places and stuff with their "Net Blankes" signs weren't racist either.
Maybe.
And maybe that was quite some time ago
No maybe about it. But the principle holds. Preferences based upon sex, gender identity, skin colour etc etc are sexist, racist etc. No maybe there either.
"
By that reasoning you must be homophobic as you don't want to sleep with men. |
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"Please explain how by having a preference is racist?
Maybe it isn't.
Maybe the landlords in the 60s and 70s etc who preferred not to let property to blacks, asians and Irish weren't racist.
Maybe golf clubs who preferred to have men only membership weren't sexist.
Maybe South Africans who preferred to limit access to places and stuff with their "Net Blankes" signs weren't racist either.
Maybe.
And maybe that was quite some time ago
No maybe about it. But the principle holds. Preferences based upon sex, gender identity, skin colour etc etc are sexist, racist etc. No maybe there either.
By that reasoning you must be homophobic as you don't want to sleep with men."
And racist as some of them men will be black |
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"
White people defining what is and isn’t racist.
Anyone can experience racism.
That's true but I don't believe it's helpful for one group to tell another whose historical and contextual experience of racism is completely different.
I don’t believe it’s helpful to dismiss the views/comments of a group of people based purely on the colour of their skin.
I certainly wasn't doing that."
Nor did I suggest you were.... Mr M I think... was ! You ignored the post the comments were a reply to! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do swingers think it's ok to be racist?
If you put no asians, no black, or anything similar, that is racist - no matter how many times you type "just my choice" after it.
Yes this is a sex site and people are not looking for soulmates. That may mean certain positive personality traits are less likely to cut through a desire for certain physical characteristics.
But ruling people out on ethnicity or for that matter putting them at the top of your list for the same reason goes beyond the world of preference into prejudice.
If you don't believe me, try going into work later and telling your boss you don't want a black person on your team - just my preference!"
This old chestnut again. Why dont you just fuck who you want and leave us to make our own choices. No amount of bullying or name calling will change my preferences! |
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"
White people defining what is and isn’t racist.
Anyone can experience racism.
That's true but I don't believe it's helpful for one group to tell another whose historical and contextual experience of racism is completely different.
I don’t believe it’s helpful to dismiss the views/comments of a group of people based purely on the colour of their skin.
I certainly wasn't doing that.
Nor did I suggest you were.... Mr M I think... was ! You ignored the post the comments were a reply to! "
My post was the last you quoted in your response! |
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"
White people defining what is and isn’t racist.
Anyone can experience racism.
That's true but I don't believe it's helpful for one group to tell another whose historical and contextual experience of racism is completely different.
I don’t believe it’s helpful to dismiss the views/comments of a group of people based purely on the colour of their skin.
I certainly wasn't doing that.
Nor did I suggest you were.... Mr M I think... was ! You ignored the post the comments were a reply to!
My post was the last you quoted in your response!"
It was ... ?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please explain how by having a preference is racist?
Maybe it isn't.
Maybe the landlords in the 60s and 70s etc who preferred not to let property to blacks, asians and Irish weren't racist.
Maybe golf clubs who preferred to have men only membership weren't sexist.
Maybe South Africans who preferred to limit access to places and stuff with their "Net Blankes" signs weren't racist either.
Maybe.
And maybe that was quite some time ago
No maybe about it. But the principle holds. Preferences based upon sex, gender identity, skin colour etc etc are sexist, racist etc. No maybe there either.
"
Yet you have preferences against gay or bi people. So by your own words your homophobic! |
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"You can express a preference in more than one way so maybe
Prefer white guys.
Rather than excluding certain races
Just a thought ? Is that still racist ?
I'd say so, yes.
I'd say you are just looking for an argument "
yes agree |
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"Please explain how by having a preference is racist?
Maybe it isn't.
Maybe the landlords in the 60s and 70s etc who preferred not to let property to blacks, asians and Irish weren't racist.
Maybe golf clubs who preferred to have men only membership weren't sexist.
Maybe South Africans who preferred to limit access to places and stuff with their "Net Blankes" signs weren't racist either.
Maybe."
You do get that sex isn't a service, right? |
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