FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do your kids know?

Do your kids know?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange.

Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though.

Have most of you with kids told them?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No and i never would, even tho my eldest two are 20 and 18 i dont want them to look down on me and see me as anything less than their mum, their respect means a lot to me and i think i would loose some of that if they knew i shagged randem men off internet site

Be ready to have it thrown back in your face the next time you tell him off lol

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I told mine a couple of years ago. She's cool with it, but all play takes place away from our home.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No never...our secret and ours only

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i dont see why you would tell your kids, if i was still with their dad i wouldnt come down in the morning and tell them what we had been upto in bed with their dad that night

so why would i tell them about my sex life with other guys?

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"i dont see why you would tell your kids, if i was still with their dad i wouldnt come down in the morning and tell them what we had been upto in bed with their dad that night

so why would i tell them about my sex life with other guys?"

Oh, I don't give her a blow by blow account of my meets, but once I joined this site my lifestyle changed and she noticed I was going out a lot more. Plus I never stayed out late til I start going to Isis. Me and her father are a little bit unconventional though so I reckon she probably guessed anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No and i never would, even tho my eldest two are 20 and 18 i dont want them to look down on me and see me as anything less than their mum, their respect means a lot to me and i think i would loose some of that if they knew i shagged randem men off internet site

Be ready to have it thrown back in your face the next time you tell him off lol"

I agree with you in certain respects in that I don't think I would ever tell my kids about me and my partner's lifestyle. But if after being told about what their parents get up to and they respect their parents enough, they will never use it against them in an argument. Well I know that mine wouldn't. They were brought up to respect their elders and wouldn't dream of arguing with people that are much older than they are whether or not it's their parents.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No none of kids know. I wouldn't be adversed to telling my eldest, who is 18, if the subject ever came up....

thing is I can never imagine a time when it would come up.

She's always asked questions about sex from hitting her puberty and i've always answered as honestly as I can, but she has never and would never ask about my sex life cos lets face it it's gross imagining your mam and dad at it and I could never sit her down and broach the subject.

With my 16 yr old son, there is no way I would tell him, he things everything everyone does is disgusting. Think he would probably try to get emancipated.

The younger ones are far too young to know about sex in general never mind group stuff.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange.

Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though.

Have most of you with kids told them?"

Have to say that I commend you guys for telling your kids. But don't think I would have the guts

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes my older two children do, both are quite sexually active themselves and one a member on here and attends swing clubs from time to time.

My middle two children 14-15 do have some understanding but in the grounds that I dont believe in monogamy and they also have asked questions about the significance of my collar as such... So I have answered in an age specific way.

I am however not ashamed of what I do or how I am... and believe in educating to a appropriate level... To be honest the questions I have had regarding more than one person sex has come from songs on the radio.. and Jeremy Kyle shows the middle two have watched.

I have a 14 year old who is starting to have boyfriends, and she was asking me how she can like a boy, but like another boy too.. I answered to her that as long as everyone is honest with each other there is no harm in that. She is not sexually active btw..

Cali

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We should add that the cornerstone of our family is honesty and openness. There isn't a single subject that's taboo or off limits, except obviously to our youngest.

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"We should add that the cornerstone of our family is honesty and openness. There isn't a single subject that's taboo or off limits, except obviously to our youngest."

Ditto. I was afraid of my mother and didn't dare ask her anything to do with sex. I made it a rule that my daughter can ask me anything and I will answer it to the best of my knowledge.

I wouldn't recommend telling younger children - they have enough to worry about growing up. But past adolescence I think it's fine.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange.

Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though.

Have most of you with kids told them?"

I dont have a lifestyle, so i dont see that what i get up to either with Sir or others needs to be told to them. i wouldnt discuss my sex life with kev with them, so why discuse what i do with others?

However the eldest (12) knows our views on things like homosexuality, slut shaming ect, it comes up in normal discusussions about the news. It does lead to fun moments such as when he announced he wasnt going to get married when bigger, just visit prositutes

if swinging came up we would explain what it was same as we have with anything else.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"No none of kids know. I wouldn't be adversed to telling my eldest, who is 18, if the subject ever came up....

thing is I can never imagine a time when it would come up.

With my 16 yr old son, there is no way I would tell him, he things everything everyone does is disgusting. Think he would probably try to get emancipated.

The younger ones are far too young to know about sex in general never mind group stuff. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I wouldn't recommend telling younger children - they have enough to worry about growing up. But past adolescence I think it's fine. "
We quite agree. Our 15 year old is extremely mature though. We'd like to think it's as a result of his upbringing.

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By *punkloverCouple over a year ago

hatfield

i would look at it this way, how would you think if your parents told you that they had been swingers when you was younger ? I know that i would not like to know that !!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i would look at it this way, how would you think if your parents told you that they had been swingers when you was younger ? I know that i would not like to know that !!!"

I knew my parents were up to something when I was about 12... I found their home movies aged about 13... and I now realise that my parents were having fun like that and were in a bdsm relationship.

I would have preferred that they were honest with me.. as I knew they had lots of sex as we could hear them lol

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Like Cali, I had my suspicions, and it turned out that they were both swingers in the 70s. I found my dads contact mags when I was about 18, and my Mum has had a toyboy for the last 10 years but only told me and my sisters last year.

Sexual activities should not be hidden and shameful. I would have felt a lot happier knowing that my wants and needs were normal when I was younger, instead of suppressing them as shameful and being stuck in a sexless relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do think that as more parents are open and honest that maybe we will get rid of this image that sex is something to be ashamed of.

Cali

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I do think that as more parents are open and honest that maybe we will get rid of this image that sex is something to be ashamed of.

Cali "

I think it is always ultimately up to parents what they tell their children. What worked for me and my daughter may not work for others. But I believe that alternative sexual lifestyles should be taught at school and sex should not be this 'nudge nudge wink wink' subject it is now.

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By *punkloverCouple over a year ago

hatfield

fro me, it isn't about "shame of sex" it is that i really would not want to know if they were up to that, i suppose it is down to the individual on how they feel about it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just some things you don't need to know about your parents. Suspecting things and knowing them are two different things

Something like this will do more harm that good, and in my humble opinion they are more likely to be promiscuity at too young an age, but your their parents so ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have had a cose call before and also one day last year our 21 year old said " you go off to seeother people and have 4 somes." needless to say we were kinda shocked as we have been very careful but just insisted its in their minds.

Kids have no reason to know IMO

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"i would look at it this way, how would you think if your parents told you that they had been swingers when you was younger ? I know that i would not like to know that !!!"
I'd have respected them for telling me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Something like this will do more harm that good, and in my humble opinion they are more likely to be promiscuity at too young an age, but your their parents so ...."
Are you being serious?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's a lot to land on the plate of a 15 year old

Already got hormones and adolescence to contend with without parents off loading on them too

What on earth benefit do you get out of telling someone who technically is still a child ?

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Something like this will do more harm that good, and in my humble opinion they are more likely to be promiscuity at too young an age, but your their parents so ...."

You see, this sort of remark is what the problem is. What exactly is wrong with people having sex with more than one person? As long as they are using protection, promiscuity is nothing to be ashamed of.

Or am I promiscuous for being on this site? Seriously, the Victorian age is over now. Move on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just some things you don't need to know about your parents. Suspecting things and knowing them are two different things

Something like this will do more harm that good, and in my humble opinion they are more likely to be promiscuity at too young an age, but your their parents so ...."

I have found that being open and honest with my children has led to them taking much more care with their sexual habits.. However, they know they can come to me about anything.

Oh and promiscuity at 16-21 is kinda part and parcel of growing up..

Cali

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's a lot to land on the plate of a 15 year old

Already got hormones and adolescence to contend with without parents off loading on them too

What on earth benefit do you get out of telling someone who technically is still a child ?"

I was an adult from about 13, thought like one, worried like one, looked like one, yet pissed me off that everyone treated me like a child at 15.

They will know their child better than anyone else.. and while my kids were both 18 before they knew.. it was only because that was when it was discussed. I actually wasnt asked but found my sons profile on fab.. so "Talked" with him about that.

My older daughter wanted to come to the club with me one day and I had to tell her she couldnt.. she told me my son had already told her about "mum"..and it was okay.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i actually think anything to do with kids is a firework subject and i know a bit about this as from trying to mix a family views can be completely different. our current one is private education

he wants it (if we ever have kids) as his son is going down tha route while i won't even consider it. when people disagree with the way someone does something with kids it can feel like a personal attack. me personally my kids don't know but i do have an open subject policy so if they asked i would be honest. i realise this is not everyones approach but it works for me i have never lied to them yet which has been interesting on occassions xxxx

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By *4FantasyCouple over a year ago

Spalding

Paul has kids and I don't but we do agree that what goes on in our private lives is just that.. private.

They would never ask because they have too much respect for our private lives.

On a personal note I don't think children should be privy to everything about their parents.

Kazx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Both my sons know, I have nothing to be ashamed of and as they are frequent visitors best that they know there could be someone here when the unexpectedly pop round

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"Something like this will do more harm that good, and in my humble opinion they are more likely to be promiscuity at too young an age, but your their parents so ....

Or am I promiscuous for being on this site? Seriously, the Victorian age is over now. Move on."

Comments like that and ones by people saying they dont want their kids to think less of them because they are here, really worry me. Why are you here if u think it is such a bad thing to do?

i simply think sex is a private activity, i dont discuss it with anyone... not through shame but what used to be described as a sense of decorum.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It's been great to read all the viewpoints.

In case there's any confusion, we didn't discuss the ins and outs of what we do. That would be really uncomfortable and is obviously not necessary or desired.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

ive had 5 boys only my oldest son who 18 knows

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i dont see why you would tell your kids, if i was still with their dad i wouldnt come down in the morning and tell them what we had been upto in bed with their dad that night

so why would i tell them about my sex life with other guys?"

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By *lexaWoman over a year ago

southampton

"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange.

Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though.

Have most of you with kids told them?"

No. Mine are 19 and 16 but we keep it very very secret. I never ever play at home, I never ever give out my phone number and always use my naughty phone, I never ever give out private info. My husband swings too, but we have very strict rules about it. It's just our way that's all . I do admire your honesty with your eldest though. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We don't have kids but know swingers who have told their kids, all with favourable results.

If we had them then, like our friends, when they got to a certain age we'd tell them.

Its just one less sword of Damocles hanging over your head and its better coming from parents than some malicious third party.

The funny thing is, most of our friends kids replied with something like "Did you think we didn't know?".

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There's about as much need for my kids to know, even the 27 year old. As there is for them to know the colour and condition of my poo!

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"i dont see why you would tell your kids, if i was still with their dad i wouldnt come down in the morning and tell them what we had been upto in bed with their dad that night

so why would i tell them about my sex life with other guys?"

Exact same thought went through my mind too and my children are 20, 24 and 29!

My children also don't know how much I earn, how much money I have in the bank or how much I weigh.

I'm their mum, not their bessy mate, in fact my friends don't know what I do, so why tell your children?!!

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange.

Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though.

Have most of you with kids told them?

if swinging came up we would explain what it was same as we have with anything else. "

The way to go in my view.

My sex education when I started my periods, which terrified me was being given a pack of Dr Whites and told "dont sleep with boys".

I vowed if I had children nothing would be taboo, and it isn't. When the girls asked questions I answered in an age appropriate way. I explained about periods so they knew what it meant so weren't frightened when they started.

They asked about homosexuality, their own sexuality in an open manner.

Your children being able to talk to you about anything doesn't mean you have to share your private life with them.

Some people are so into this they seem to have lost perspective and have no boundaries.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My daughter knows im on this site.knows i met my OH on here ,knows i go fo socials ( be hard explaining the fancy dress on a nite out) but thats as far as she knows,no i do not and would not discuss my sexual acts with her thats private.Ive a great relationship with my daughter shes 16 btw not sexually active as atm she looks at guys with the cba attitude and to her her future and schooling are far more important atm.But we discuss most things if she asks i answer,we do have boundries and she knows them.Ive brought my daughter up to respect and be respected and ive never lied or kept anything from her.Thats how we roll in this house and no its not to everyones taste or standard but WE are both happy and content in our lives and i have to say have the best daughter ever,shes come thru alot in her life...divorce her dad totally ignoring her,the loss of my last partner who she saw die in my arms in our house,yet shes the most stable loving caring child ever ,so for me teling her i was on a swinging site was an easy one.She doesnt question and tbh since meeting my oh we havent swung as getting to know each other is far more important.Each to thier own i say .

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By *partan_dMan over a year ago

????

Being only 22 myself i can honestly say that if my parents told me they were swingers i would be devastated. The thought of your parents going at it is bad enough but to be swinging...

I would probably not be able to look or speak to them again for a long time. Just my own opinion btw. Not saying that all daughters or sons would react like this. It is just my own personalfeelings on the matter.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It seems that for some immaturity is still a thing they have yet to get over, any physical age doesnt mean your grown up.

personal attitude and your world view changes as you get older and that is a sign of maturity.

I met Jayne back in 2004 and she has got three children two daughters and a son.

All of the children were taught that they could come to their mother or me if they needed to ask anything and that nothing was Taboo!

Sadly due to other reasons and an interfering Father the Daughters eventually moved out and rebelled and they have fallen into the trap of struggling to get by and having a child each which they have to bring up alone.

MEANWHILE!

The Son who is the youngest at 18 near 19 years old is rather open minded and grown up emotionally he takes a rather different look at things.

It was the son when he asked us about one thing that we confiding in without going into too much details about Swinging and one or two other things.

He takes a rather balanced view on these things, Sadly his Sisters do not share the same Emotional maturity so Jayne and I do not think we will be sharing anything like that with them soon even though they are in their early 20's.

Being open minded isnt a crime and it should be encouraged this country is still mired in social stigmatism over the silliest of things.

Mark on behalf of Mark and Jayne

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes thay know .. got to a point we hated lieing to them where we was going to clubs and things. Just dont go into the in s and outs as thay all have boyfriends and girlfriends and happy living there own lifes .

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By *ont Ask Dont GetWoman over a year ago

amersham

Don't think so. I am very close to them and they know I'm a sexual being and that I am very open minded, but I don't think they know quite just how open minded! They think I'm 'dating' one or two people.

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By *eakcoupleCouple over a year ago

peak district

Our kids are in their 30s; her two sons know and his daughter doesn't (we think!). We have some friends who have two (late) teenage daughters, and not long ago were surprised when one said "going swinging again tonight mum?" as they were getting ready to go out. Their girls had found out someway or other; they weren't too bothered anyway.

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By *andKCouple over a year ago

Norfolk

Never outrightly told ours but as they are now adults it doesn't really matter. Our daughter suspected things when she saw a brochure for Chameleons and her reaction was 'if you are swingers as long as you both enjoy it why not? BUT if you break up over it I'll never speak to either of you again!' well we are still together and she is still speaking to us lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think some people are thinking that those of us that tell our children explain in graphic detail.. for me its a lifestyle thing. And It's a simple as, I have multiple partners and It's not behind masters back.

To be honest my oldest swings anyway...

To the lad that said he would be devastated... Why is it okay for you but not your parents... Is it something to be ashamed of...

I to be fair have now told majority of my family too... And they find the bdsm side harder to understand...

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"Being only 22 myself i can honestly say that if my parents told me they were swingers i would be devastated. The thought of your parents going at it is bad enough but to be swinging...

And then young guys wonder why so many people wont meet them.

Why is it ok for u to have a sex life but not your parents...

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange.

Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though.

Have most of you with kids told them?

if swinging came up we would explain what it was same as we have with anything else.

The way to go in my view.

My sex education when I started my periods, which terrified me was being given a pack of Dr Whites and told "dont sleep with boys".

They asked about homosexuality, their own sexuality in an open manner.

Your children being able to talk to you about anything doesn't mean you have to share your private life with them.

Some people are so into this they seem to have lost perspective and have no boundaries."

i just dont see why people feel the need to tell their kids, it seems to be a self validation thing for many (we are so unashamed of what we are doing we are open about it ).

Boundaries as parents are very important, as they allow children to develop as their own people, and not as you wish them too.

Quite frankly given the fact the eldest thinks i am a silly billy for having a tattoo and nipple piercings i imagine they would just roll their eyes if they knew about anything else.

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By *anningumi04Man over a year ago

Munich, Germany/Cambridge

I know of one woman in her early 20's who recognised her mum's profile on a swingers site even though there were no face pics on her profile. I think anyone with kids who are 16+ has to consider that their kid may find them online. Remember, they know what your bed, bedroom and living room look like! And with older kids you may bump into them or their friends in a club or out dogging.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We got back early from a meet, well, earlier than we usually get home, lol, and our eldest said "you're home early, didn't you fancy them then?"

so I think he suspects something

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i dont see why you would tell your kids, if i was still with their dad i wouldnt come down in the morning and tell them what we had been upto in bed with their dad that night

so why would i tell them about my sex life with other guys?

Exact same thought went through my mind too and my children are 20, 24 and 29!

My children also don't know how much I earn, how much money I have in the bank or how much I weigh.

I'm their mum, not their bessy mate, in fact my friends don't know what I do, so why tell your children?!! "

Thats pretty much how i feel, tho i do have a good relationship with all my girls, we go out shopping together etc like most mums and daughters they are still my kids

Im not saying they would think any less of me if i did tell them, i could only know that if i did, its just in my mind i cant get past the fact.....im their mum why would i tell them who i have sex with, to me that just seems odd

Im not saying everyone should feel like that, i know lots of people who tell their kids, i personally just dont understand why you would want to talk about such a subject with your children

My middle daughter did once ask me, because of something someone said, basically one of the members of staff at chameleons club was my daughters mates mum and she told my daughter i went, it took me loads of back talking to get out of it but i think i managed to convince her that her mum must have been mistaken, lucky she was still young and easy to influence so i got away with it, but even when confrunted with it i still wuld never tell them

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"My middle daughter did once ask me, because of something someone said, basically one of the members of staff at chameleons club was my daughters mates mum and she told my daughter i went, it took me loads of back talking to get out of it but i think i managed to convince her that her mum must have been mistaken, lucky she was still young and easy to influence so i got away with it, but even when confrunted with it i still wuld never tell them

Now this would piss me off. Although I am happy to talk about it with my daughter, if someone I had met at my club said anything to her they'd be in for a knuckle sandwich.

Although keeping it secret does run the risk of them finding out in other ways, other swingers should keep their mouths shut in front of other peoples families.

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By *empting Devil.Woman over a year ago

Sheffield

"i dont see why you would tell your kids, if i was still with their dad i wouldnt come down in the morning and tell them what we had been upto in bed with their dad that night

so why would i tell them about my sex life with other guys?

Exact same thought went through my mind too and my children are 20, 24 and 29!

My children also don't know how much I earn, how much money I have in the bank or how much I weigh.

I'm their mum, not their bessy mate, in fact my friends don't know what I do, so why tell your children?!!

Thats pretty much how i feel, tho i do have a good relationship with all my girls, we go out shopping together etc like most mums and daughters they are still my kids

Im not saying everyone should feel like that, i know lots of people who tell their kids, i personally just dont understand why you would want to talk about such a subject with your children

I would be very concerned that a staff member at a club was discussing the club and its clients with children!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would be very concerned that a staff member at a club was discussing the club and its clients with children!

well i did have a word with her and the club about it but thats another thread lol didnt want to go off track to much

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I told my two adult children (29&25) after someone sent a link to my daughter, via facebook, to my profile here.

My youngest (14) has no need to know as I don't have meets at our home.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why would you tell your kids about your sex life?

Totally and utterly inappropriate in my view.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

does make you wonder what effect it would have on the children.I would have been horrified to know parents swung.Rather they just did it secretly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why would you tell your kids about your sex life?

Totally and utterly inappropriate in my view."

I dont tell them about my sex life, they know about my lifestyle choices. That is a big difference and I think being open and honest helps. My mothers attitude despite me later finding out she was a swinger herself, left me with some very damaging issues with my own sexual make up.

I spent most of my early adult life thinking that there was something wrong with me for wanting multiple partners etc..

Would have helped me greatly for me to understand that its a popular and not something that is abnormal.

I of course dont tell my kids my thing is gangbangs and multiple facials etc... they just know that I am into this lifestyle and in a bdsm relationship.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"does make you wonder what effect it would have on the children.I would have been horrified to know parents swung.Rather they just did it secretly."

So why is it okay for you but not your parents.. I find this attitude that doing this is something to be ashamed of. I am certainly not ashamed of myself.

The most self adjusted family I know is a poly family and they have 5 within the relationship, kids by all 3 women and the 2 guys... all kids treated as children of the family. Those kids dont think its odd in the slightest.

And as I said.. if I had known my parents were like that.. it would have helped me greatly. Everyone knows their parents have sex... not sure why it is ever such a big deal.. surely the fact they are happy and in love enough to do it should mean more.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't discuss my sex life with my kids either, just that I socialise with people off this site. They can draw their own conclusions.

All they have ever seen me do is go out dressed up all nice to go to socials, and when they ask did I have a good time it's the same as me asking them after they have had a night out with friends.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd say if there 18 up fair enough,but any younger they don't need to know and probably would find it hard to understand.

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By *ackemdaveMan over a year ago

london

"It's a lot to land on the plate of a 15 year old

Already got hormones and adolescence to contend with without parents off loading on them too

What on earth benefit do you get out of telling someone who technically is still a child ?

I was an adult from about 13, thought like one, worried like one, looked like one, yet pissed me off that everyone treated me like a child at 15.

My older daughter wanted to come to the club with me one day and I had to tell her she couldnt.. she told me my son had already told her about "mum"..and it was okay.

Cali "

I hope your son never fabbed any of your photos, that would be very wrong

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By *encarolCouple over a year ago

Tyneside

rather young to tell them what you are doing ???

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By *partan_dMan over a year ago

????

"Being only 22 myself i can honestly say that if my parents told me they were swingers i would be devastated. The thought of your parents going at it is bad enough but to be swinging...

And then young guys wonder why so many people wont meet them.

Why is it ok for u to have a sex life but not your parents...

Tbf i have had the opportunity to meet alot of people on here.. I wasn't aware young people had trouble.

Also, i am not saying parent can't have a sex life. It's just i am not interested in knowing what my parents are into in regards to sex. I mean if they were into some freaky shit like watersports or something i wouldn't want to know, so why would i want to know they were swingers.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would not tell my children that I swing.

I believe that our sex life is personal and not up for family discussion.

It doesn't matter how old the children are, I would never tell them.

As a parent we've always had a clear line on what is appropriate and not. Whilst I am open for discussion on sexual matters in general, and they can ask me questions and I will advise, I do believe that all of us should hold some things private and the parent/child relationship be maintained. I would not ask for details on my eldest's sex life, I do not want to know, and he would not ask me.

Similarly I don't agree with mothers and daughters dressing up and going to pubs and clubs and getting d*unk and on the pull together. Its one thing having a close relationship with your child but not to the extent that you treat each other like mates

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange.

Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though.

Have most of you with kids told them?"

poor kid

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just do not discuss details of my sex life with family or friends to be honest. Would seem a little wierd to me.

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By *exxymeWoman over a year ago

south devon

"Just do not discuss details of my sex life with family or friends to be honest. Would seem a little wierd to me."

i totally agree with yuo. my children would be totally embarrassed and disgusted with me if they new what i was up too. and i keep this side of my life completly private from any of my friends and family, partly to protect my children.

i wouldnt want to know the ins and outs of their sexual life and im sure they don,t want to hear about mine.and after all, im over 40 now, and in their eyes much too old to be having sex lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I dont discuss the ins and outs.. They just know I am not monogamous and that I am in a bdsm relationship.

They dont know the whose, whens... but they do know they can come to me about anything..

Its not like we sit down and discuss the latest gangbang.. and no they dont know that is what I do.. not that I am ashamed.. but like people said.. your kids or anyone else for that matter doesnt need to know the ins and outs.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We all parent differently and do what we feel is the best way.

I believe that as a parent I take responsibility for my children at whate er age they are.

Mine can come to me and talk to me about anything too, but I am the parent therefore I take responsibility of not sharing the personal details of my sex life whatsoever, and that's not just the who, when and how, I don't discuss that I have sex at all.

I take responsibility for the level of information that I feel they are emotionally mature enough to deal with. Mine would not be comfortable to hear details of my sex life and I wouldn't push that information at them. They are not my mates, to enjoy a dirty giggle about sex with.

This is my choice and the way I have decided to bring up and parent my kids effectively and I am very proud that they appear to be well adjusted individuals, so obviously its the right way for us. We are all different though and my way wouldnt be right for everyone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I would not tell my children that I swing.

I believe that our sex life is personal and not up for family discussion.

It doesn't matter how old the children are, I would never tell them.

i think that hits the nail on the head

saying that my middle daughter is very open with me about her sex life but only in a way that if shes worried about something she will ask and i have no problem with that

I had a very wierd conversation with her the other day where she asked me if she could ask me something of a sexual nature and of course i said yes and the conversation started with

Well me a Ian (name has been changes to pretect the innocent lol) was doing a bit of bondage last night

and that was the point i said woooooe i really dont need to know this

but i could see she was worried about something so i let her carry on, fuck knows why i know sod all about BDSM

so even tho i have no problem with my kids asking me stuff that they are worried about i still wouldnt open upto them about my sex life, simply because to me im their mother and im happy i am the one they come to with problems cause i feel thats my place, and id sooner then get the facts from me than a load of rubbish from mates who dont know what they are on abour, however its not their place to listerns to what i get upto

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"poor kid"
If mature, happy, content and well adjusted fit your criteria for poor, then yes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"rather young to tell them what you are doing ???

"
That's probably true for 99% of people his age.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I dont tell them about my sex life, they know about my lifestyle choices. That is a big difference and I think being open and honest helps."

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I would not tell my children that I swing.

I believe that our sex life is personal and not up for family discussion.

It doesn't matter how old the children are, I would never tell them.

A woman after my own heart: with you 100%

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By *exxymeWoman over a year ago

south devon

can i just ask f-c, are you not worried now that your son is going to be a bit more curious, as a boy of that age would be, and have a look through sites like this, and come across your profile ???

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"We all parent differently and do what we feel is the best way.

I believe that as a parent I take responsibility for my children at whate er age they are.

Your way is also my way and it works for me and mine too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"poor kidIf mature, happy, content and well adjusted fit your criteria for poor, then yes."

no, knowing his parents are swingers and fuck around, that's what the criteria for poor is. kids don't need to be exposed to that kind of thing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"poor kidIf mature, happy, content and well adjusted fit your criteria for poor, then yes.

no, knowing his parents are swingers and fuck around, that's what the criteria for poor is. kids don't need to be exposed to that kind of thing"
sometimes thay just see the sites you go on and pics and see your going out clubing and ask things ... why lie when thay have a right to know the truth ...... me and john been married 28 years and out of all there friends one of the only ones still together ........ thay said if it makes us happy and away from them thay dont care. it spice up our lifes and we are strong can handle most things in life .

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"I would not tell my children that I swing.

I believe that our sex life is personal and not up for family discussion.

It doesn't matter how old the children are, I would never tell them.

i think that hits the nail on the head

saying that my middle daughter is very open with me about her sex life but only in a way that if shes worried about something she will ask and i have no problem with that

I had a very wierd conversation with her the other day where she asked me if she could ask me something of a sexual nature and of course i said yes and the conversation started with

Well me a Ian (name has been changes to pretect the innocent lol) was doing a bit of bondage last night

and that was the point i said woooooe i really dont need to know this

but i could see she was worried about something so i let her carry on, fuck knows why i know sod all about BDSM

You see that to me is the core of this...people need to understand what their role is and whether openness is about filling a need in them, or their children.

Being a parent means you are there for them, not the other way round.

btw what was the question, maybe i can help

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"poor kidIf mature, happy, content and well adjusted fit your criteria for poor, then yes.

no, knowing his parents are swingers and fuck around, that's what the criteria for poor is. kids don't need to be exposed to that kind of thing"
Being lied to would make him a poor kid, not having honest and open parents.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"can i just ask f-c, are you not worried now that your son is going to be a bit more curious, as a boy of that age would be, and have a look through sites like this, and come across your profile ??? "
Not worried at all.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"poor kidIf mature, happy, content and well adjusted fit your criteria for poor, then yes.

no, knowing his parents are swingers and fuck around, that's what the criteria for poor is. kids don't need to be exposed to that kind of thingBeing lied to would make him a poor kid, not having honest and open parents."

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By *exxymeWoman over a year ago

south devon

really???? im sorry. not sure if other people are thinking this, but im thinking it's not right. i think "poor kid" sums it up. lets hope for his sake, his friends dont get to see too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"im sorry. not sure if other people are thinking this, but im thinking it's not right. i think "poor kid" sums it up. lets hope for his sake, his friends dont get to see too."
We didn't realise you'd met him.

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By *hynottsCouple over a year ago

nottingham

we told our daughter when she was 18 good thing we did. as 2 years later when she was running her own pub in our small town a gang of lads that had seen us at a swingers resortin mexico. got back a week befor us and told every one in the pub she just asked them what they was doing in a swingers resort as some of them had girl friends and had not told them . things changed then when there girl friends dumped them all .payback so nice when others do it for you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"we told our daughter when she was 18 good thing we did. as 2 years later when she was running her own pub in our small town a gang of lads that had seen us at a swingers resortin mexico. got back a week befor us and told every one in the pub she just asked them what they was doing in a swingers resort as some of them had girl friends and had not told them . things changed then when there girl friends dumped them all .payback so nice when others do it for you

See this is why its always for me at least best to be honest. I had a friend out me.. but my lad already knew. so it wasnt a case of omg shock.

What worries me with this thread is how many people see what they are doing as being something wrong..

Cali

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange.

Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though.

Have most of you with kids told them?

if swinging came up we would explain what it was same as we have with anything else.

The way to go in my view.

My sex education when I started my periods, which terrified me was being given a pack of Dr Whites and told "dont sleep with boys".

They asked about homosexuality, their own sexuality in an open manner.

Your children being able to talk to you about anything doesn't mean you have to share your private life with them.

Some people are so into this they seem to have lost perspective and have no boundaries.

i just dont see why people feel the need to tell their kids, it seems to be a self validation thing for many (we are so unashamed of what we are doing we are open about it ).

Boundaries as parents are very important, as they allow children to develop as their own people, and not as you wish them too.

Quite frankly given the fact the eldest thinks i am a silly billy for having a tattoo and nipple piercings i imagine they would just roll their eyes if they knew about anything else.

because everyone brings children up differently and some sercets children can forgive and some they can't. some children will wish there parents never told them about swinging, some will find out for themselves and will respect there parents less for not telling thats the thing kids r people and there reactions differ just as adults do. which is why as a parent we choose what we think is right and lets face it are often not sure if we get it right or not x and no mine don't know as never asked if hey did i would tell the truth x

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By *exxymeWoman over a year ago

south devon

See this is why its always for me at least best to be honest. I had a friend out me.. but my lad already knew. so it wasnt a case of omg shock.

What worries me with this thread is how many people see what they are doing as being something wrong..

Cali"

we dont see it as wrong, but for alot of us on here, its a very private thing, and i for one know that my family nd friends would not agree with what i do,so for me its easier.

but telling a 15 year old, come on, it's just not right.

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By *hynottsCouple over a year ago

nottingham

See this is why its always for me at least best to be honest. I had a friend out me.. but my lad already knew. so it wasnt a case of omg shock.

What worries me with this thread is how many people see what they are doing as being something wrong..

Cali"
our daughter is fine with it . and the soninlaw thinks we are great but has no intrest in doing the same .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"telling a 15 year old, come on, it's just not right. "
We'd really like to know why you feel that is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What worries me with this thread is how many people see what they are doing as being something wrong..

Cali"

Indeed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just do not discuss details of my sex life with family or friends to be honest. Would seem a little wierd to me.

i wouldnt want to know the ins and outs of their sexual life and im sure they don,t want to hear about mine.and after all, im over 40 now, and in their eyes much too old to be having sex lol

i think that says a lot my children don't think anyones sex life is digusting because i hope i have taught them that everyone is different. while i agree they don't need to know what i do to be honest if they were digusted of me i would be ashamed of them as people. i would think i had failed in there upbringing x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"poor kidIf mature, happy, content and well adjusted fit your criteria for poor, then yes.

no, knowing his parents are swingers and fuck around, that's what the criteria for poor is. kids don't need to be exposed to that kind of thingsometimes thay just see the sites you go on and pics and see your going out clubing and ask things ... why lie when thay have a right to know the truth ...... me and john been married 28 years and out of all there friends one of the only ones still together ........ thay said if it makes us happy and away from them thay dont care. it spice up our lifes and we are strong can handle most things in life ."

how would it be lying if they didn't tell him? the kid didn't ask them if they were swingers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"poor kidIf mature, happy, content and well adjusted fit your criteria for poor, then yes.

how would it be lying if they didn't tell him? the kid didn't ask them if they were swingers"
At one time my family would all be on same pc now have there own lap tops and telling me ... about the sites i was going on ... so am i to say no i just come across that .... them knowing my own mum and dad and auties all into this at one time too , lol thay was over 18 and could handle the truth ...

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By *exxymeWoman over a year ago

south devon

"telling a 15 year old, come on, it's just not right. We'd really like to know why you feel that is."

why did you feel he would want to know anyway???

why does your son need to know what you 2 get up too in the bedroom, i just feel it could cause him a lot of embarrasment and its alot for a 15 year old to take in.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/05/12 13:50:36]

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"how would it be lying if they didn't tell him? the kid didn't ask them if they were swingers"
No, but he's not stupid and knew something was different. The things he thought it might be were more troubling for him than the truth.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"i just feel it could cause him a lot of embarrasment and its alot for a 15 year old to take in. "
As we said before, that would no doubt be the case for most people of his age. However, we didn't tell *a* 15 year old, we told *our* 15 year old.

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By *exxymeWoman over a year ago

south devon

there is a women on here that meets up with her mother, she is in her 40's now but they started meeting together when she was just 16, to me this is perverse.

this is kind of sticking in my mind when im reading this thread. sure im not the only one thinking this.

he really did not need to know at 15.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"there is a women on here that meets up with her mother, she is in her 40's now but they started meeting together when she was just 16, to me this is perverse.

this is kind of sticking in my mind when im reading this thread. sure im not the only one thinking this.

he really did not need to know at 15. "

again this is just your opnion and its there child and thankfully in this country we still have the right to bring up our child as we see fit and noone can judge if this kid turns out a little crazy maybe u could blame that but u will have nothing to say if he turns into a well adjust adult. there is no rule book with kids we do what we think is rite. because we don't always agree doesn't mean your ways right and someone else is wrong x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"there is a women on here that meets up with her mother, she is in her 40's now but they started meeting together when she was just 16, to me this is perverse.

this is kind of sticking in my mind when im reading this thread. sure im not the only one thinking this."
We don't see how they're even remotely similar. We're not about to take him to any clubs. In fact, the very thought of it is anathema to us.

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By *partan_dMan over a year ago

????

"there is a women on here that meets up with her mother, she is in her 40's now but they started meeting together when she was just 16, to me this is perverse.

this is kind of sticking in my mind when im reading this thread. sure im not the only one thinking this.

he really did not need to know at 15. "

Mother and daughter combo is quite kinky from a single mans perspective... But i agree it is perverse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Incidentally, this has become a fascinating and most enjoyable debate.

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By *exxymeWoman over a year ago

south devon

"there is a women on here that meets up with her mother, she is in her 40's now but they started meeting together when she was just 16, to me this is perverse.

this is kind of sticking in my mind when im reading this thread. sure im not the only one thinking this.

he really did not need to know at 15.

Mother and daughter combo is quite kinky from a single mans perspective... But i agree it is perverse.

mmnn think im gonna leave this thread now and look at you hun

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i just feel it could cause him a lot of embarrasment and its alot for a 15 year old to take in. As we said before, that would no doubt be the case for most people of his age. However, we didn't tell *a* 15 year old, we told *our* 15 year old."

You know your child better.. Open and honest is for me at least the best way.

You have no reason to justify yourself at all..

and I am sure if you felt he was capable of dealing with it then you are no doubt right.

To be honest its about time being into multiple partners stopped being a taboo thing.. would help with divorce rates and I think the whole NO SEX PLEASE WE'RE BRITISH, is so outdated now.

Cali

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By *partan_dMan over a year ago

????

Parents on this thread who are trying to say that being open and honest about swinging is the best way are selfish in my opinion. It might be the best way for you but maybe not for your children.

I mean even if the 15 year old "can handle it" why should he have to? Half the time parents are so out of touch that they probably have no idea what there children are really like.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Parents on this thread who are trying to say that being open and honest about swinging is the best way are selfish in my opinion. It might be the best way for you but maybe not for your children.

I mean even if the 15 year old "can handle it" why should he have to? Half the time parents are so out of touch that they probably have no idea what there children are really like."
Following a further chat last night, it is clear that our openness *is* the best way for our lad and that he is in no way having to "handle it".

He said he was glad we were doing something that made us happy together as most of his friends' parents are splitting up. In fact, it was this he was fearing when it became clear to him that something had changed.

He thanked us again for being so open as parents so that's all we need to know.

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By *tensonSwingersCouple over a year ago

Stenson Fields

"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange.

Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though.

Have most of you with kids told them?"

Well, we congratulate you both. We have 4 children between us and males kids are 19 and 22. We have told them we swing and they both think its great that we are in love and can explore sex and share its pleasure with others. To those who would be ashamed, embarrassed, or don't think their kids should know the truth if the question arose....we say to you ' if your embarrassed about what you do ie; swing, then you shouldn't be doing it!'

I'm sure you'd all be there to answer your children's questions regarding their. sex and sexuality, so why not be truthful about your own?

Our other two children who are younger and still live at home, don't know, but then no questions have been asked yet, but we will be, open and honest with them as lying and being deceitful to our children is not in our agenda.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Parents on this thread who are trying to say that being open and honest about swinging is the best way are selfish in my opinion. It might be the best way for you but maybe not for your children.

I mean even if the 15 year old "can handle it" why should he have to? Half the time parents are so out of touch that they probably have no idea what there children are really like. "

Its not selfish in my eyes.. I didnt even say I was a swinger.. I just said that I believed that in this world monogamy was a bit outdated.

Got asked if Master knew about the other guys... and I said yes, and we were both happy.. That was all the kids wanted to know.

To be fair the fact that at some point we may end up with a live in 3rd.. it really is needed to be open and honest with my children.. not sexually.. but with my views on the world.

I dont know if I would tell my younger children till they were 16plus.... but I think my 14 year old daughter( who doesn't live with me all the time) may soon be asking a few questions.. As one of her friends parents mentioned something to her.

Its not selfish to do the best for your children.. and that is all any parent can do.. in the RIGHT way for them.

We all parent differently... As someone that doesn't do this as an occasional thing, and lives it as a lifestyle then its a bit hard for me to keep it secret from my older kids.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm sure you'd all be there to answer your children's questions regarding their. sex and sexuality, so why not be truthful about your own?

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