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Secret messaging on phone
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Hi - just wondering if anyone knows of a 'secret' app which a partner can't spot on our lovely playmate's phone? Her partner is quite controlling, and he insists on her leaving her phone on the table, without a password, and he regularly checks what she's been doing on her phone. He can see on WhatsApp when she was last logged on (even from his own phone) - yes, I know she can stop this, but he would instantly know she'd added this privacy feature - so she needs to install a new app which he won't have heard of!
Any suggestions please?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi - just wondering if anyone knows of a 'secret' app which a partner can't spot on our lovely playmate's phone? Her partner is quite controlling, and he insists on her leaving her phone on the table, without a password, and he regularly checks what she's been doing on her phone. He can see on WhatsApp when she was last logged on (even from his own phone) - yes, I know she can stop this, but he would instantly know she'd added this privacy feature - so she needs to install a new app which he won't have heard of!
Any suggestions please?
"
Dont think the phones the issue she deffo needs to think about a new partner.nobody should have their privacy taken away |
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"Hi - just wondering if anyone knows of a 'secret' app which a partner can't spot on our lovely playmate's phone? Her partner is quite controlling, and he insists on her leaving her phone on the table, without a password, and he regularly checks what she's been doing on her phone. He can see on WhatsApp when she was last logged on (even from his own phone) - yes, I know she can stop this, but he would instantly know she'd added this privacy feature - so she needs to install a new app which he won't have heard of!
Any suggestions please?
"
First off, I would seriously question whether she wants to be in that relationship. That's mental abuse and there's a whole thread recently on here about that.
As for an app, search for apps like calculator. These have hidden vaults that you enter a code to open. So for calculator enter 123+ into what appears a normal calculator app will take you to the messaging side |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The poster above is right - this kind of control is mental abuse and your playmate needs to get out of such relationship. It is not healthy and won't end well. I've been there and know well how the abuser can mask it or make it look like a "normal thing". She needs to recognise it and put the end to it.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi - just wondering if anyone knows of a 'secret' app which a partner can't spot on our lovely playmate's phone? Her partner is quite controlling, and he insists on her leaving her phone on the table, without a password, and he regularly checks what she's been doing on her phone. He can see on WhatsApp when she was last logged on (even from his own phone) - yes, I know she can stop this, but he would instantly know she'd added this privacy feature - so she needs to install a new app which he won't have heard of!
Any suggestions please?
"
Sounds like he doesn't trust her maybe he has good reason.
The best ap is moveoutandfindaflat.com. |
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Hang on! We only know third hand about this woman's relationship. She's going behind her partners back and wants a secret app on her phone but he's the controlling one based on what she's told the people she's seeing behind his back. Hmm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi - just wondering if anyone knows of a 'secret' app which a partner can't spot on our lovely playmate's phone? Her partner is quite controlling, and he insists on her leaving her phone on the table, without a password, and he regularly checks what she's been doing on her phone. He can see on WhatsApp when she was last logged on (even from his own phone) - yes, I know she can stop this, but he would instantly know she'd added this privacy feature - so she needs to install a new app which he won't have heard of!
Any suggestions please?
"
Sounds like she needs to move on and the guy is very controlling or jealousy either way it’s not good for the lady in my view  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hang on! We only know third hand about this woman's relationship. She's going behind her partners back and wants a secret app on her phone but he's the controlling one based on what she's told the people she's seeing behind his back. Hmm. "
I was thinking the same i see it more as guy suspecting he is being cheated on and wants to know if his suspicions are true.
Ohhh if it was a man cheating no his partner this thread would have oh so gone in a totally different direction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hang on! We only know third hand about this woman's relationship. She's going behind her partners back and wants a secret app on her phone but he's the controlling one based on what she's told the people she's seeing behind his back. Hmm. "
It isn't paranoia when the thing you're worried about is true! |
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All very true of course, and we share all your concerns! We can't message her and help her though, unless we can find a secret way to contact her! So... nobody has any suggestions for a messaging app? |
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"Hang on! We only know third hand about this woman's relationship. She's going behind her partners back and wants a secret app on her phone but he's the controlling one based on what she's told the people she's seeing behind his back. Hmm.
It isn't paranoia when the thing you're worried about is true!"
I haven't mentioned paranoia 
I was trying to point out the immediate assumption that her partner is an abuser could possibly be incorrect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hang on! We only know third hand about this woman's relationship. She's going behind her partners back and wants a secret app on her phone but he's the controlling one based on what she's told the people she's seeing behind his back. Hmm.
It isn't paranoia when the thing you're worried about is true!
I haven't mentioned paranoia
I was trying to point out the immediate assumption that her partner is an abuser could possibly be incorrect"
Yes, I was backing you up by suggesting his behaviour is influenced by what he suspects is happening... when it is clearly happening. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All very true of course, and we share all your concerns! We can't message her and help her though, unless we can find a secret way to contact her! So... nobody has any suggestions for a messaging app?"
As has been said if she's "doing the dirty" behind his back then maybe he's controlling because he's suspicious and fully right to be it would appear, but that's none of my business |
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"Hang on! We only know third hand about this woman's relationship. She's going behind her partners back and wants a secret app on her phone but he's the controlling one based on what she's told the people she's seeing behind his back. Hmm.
It isn't paranoia when the thing you're worried about is true!
I haven't mentioned paranoia
I was trying to point out the immediate assumption that her partner is an abuser could possibly be incorrect
Yes, I was backing you up by suggesting his behaviour is influenced by what he suspects is happening... when it is clearly happening."
Oh  sorry! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also, I'm not judging people for cheating if it doesn't impact me, but there's two sides here and idk how 'controlled' she must feel if she has a couple who consider her their playmate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Which came first, the controlling behaviour of the male partner, or the lady's deceit stemming from a wish to escape?
"
You tell us, oh wait, you don't know either! |
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I don't want to get into the issues here.
But why does she not just set up a web based secret email address and you email each other? Preferably using a browser with a private browsing setting when she logs in |
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"Hi - just wondering if anyone knows of a 'secret' app which a partner can't spot on our lovely playmate's phone? Her partner is quite controlling, and he insists on her leaving her phone on the table, without a password, and he regularly checks what she's been doing on her phone. He can see on WhatsApp when she was last logged on (even from his own phone) - yes, I know she can stop this, but he would instantly know she'd added this privacy feature - so she needs to install a new app which he won't have heard of!
Any suggestions please?
"
The best app she will ever find is the one in her head that gives her the strength to kick his ass to the curb.
His behavior makes me sick to the stomach, I've been at the hands of someone like this and no matter what she thinks of him, she needs to get rid of him.
To have someone think they can control what you do, who you talk to and what you're allowed to think is hugely destructive.
As a friend I'd be advising her as strongly as possible to dump his ass and if it was a woman doing it to a guy I'd be saying the same.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends on the phone.
Samsung have a vault option and you can have a second kik app hidden in that "
Really? Tell me more. Not that I need it as I'm single but worth knowing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi - just wondering if anyone knows of a 'secret' app which a partner can't spot on our lovely playmate's phone? Her partner is quite controlling, and he insists on her leaving her phone on the table, without a password, and he regularly checks what she's been doing on her phone. He can see on WhatsApp when she was last logged on (even from his own phone) - yes, I know she can stop this, but he would instantly know she'd added this privacy feature - so she needs to install a new app which he won't have heard of!
Any suggestions please?
The best app she will ever find is the one in her head that gives her the strength to kick his ass to the curb.
His behavior makes me sick to the stomach, I've been at the hands of someone like this and no matter what she thinks of him, she needs to get rid of him.
To have someone think they can control what you do, who you talk to and what you're allowed to think is hugely destructive.
As a friend I'd be advising her as strongly as possible to dump his ass and if it was a woman doing it to a guy I'd be saying the same.
"
How the hell in all fairness, and I say this in the nicest of ways, do you know that he's the destructive one and to "kick him to the curb". Maybe he's suspicious of his cheating gf and its destroying him and his controllingness is nearly him trying to find out if something is going on....which it is. Maybe he should be the one doing the kicking to the curb, too many people read one thing and get on the band waggon on here, I do appreciate however that threads like this are a very hot topic of different opinions and everyone is entitled to their own
Much love  |
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"Hi - just wondering if anyone knows of a 'secret' app which a partner can't spot on our lovely playmate's phone? Her partner is quite controlling, and he insists on her leaving her phone on the table, without a password, and he regularly checks what she's been doing on her phone. He can see on WhatsApp when she was last logged on (even from his own phone) - yes, I know she can stop this, but he would instantly know she'd added this privacy feature - so she needs to install a new app which he won't have heard of!
Any suggestions please?
The best app she will ever find is the one in her head that gives her the strength to kick his ass to the curb.
His behavior makes me sick to the stomach, I've been at the hands of someone like this and no matter what she thinks of him, she needs to get rid of him.
To have someone think they can control what you do, who you talk to and what you're allowed to think is hugely destructive.
As a friend I'd be advising her as strongly as possible to dump his ass and if it was a woman doing it to a guy I'd be saying the same.
How the hell in all fairness, and I say this in the nicest of ways, do you know that he's the destructive one and to "kick him to the curb". Maybe he's suspicious of his cheating gf and its destroying him and his controllingness is nearly him trying to find out if something is going on....which it is. Maybe he should be the one doing the kicking to the curb, too many people read one thing and get on the band waggon on here, I do appreciate however that threads like this are a very hot topic of different opinions and everyone is entitled to their own
Much love "
True, maybe i have jumped to conclusions but then as one who suffered at the hands of another who did this to me, all the while it being her who was doing the cheating along with a hell of a lot of other mental and physical abuse I do tend to see any controlling behavior as being done by the aggressor.
My bad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi - just wondering if anyone knows of a 'secret' app which a partner can't spot on our lovely playmate's phone? Her partner is quite controlling, and he insists on her leaving her phone on the table, without a password, and he regularly checks what she's been doing on her phone. He can see on WhatsApp when she was last logged on (even from his own phone) - yes, I know she can stop this, but he would instantly know she'd added this privacy feature - so she needs to install a new app which he won't have heard of!
Any suggestions please?
The best app she will ever find is the one in her head that gives her the strength to kick his ass to the curb.
His behavior makes me sick to the stomach, I've been at the hands of someone like this and no matter what she thinks of him, she needs to get rid of him.
To have someone think they can control what you do, who you talk to and what you're allowed to think is hugely destructive.
As a friend I'd be advising her as strongly as possible to dump his ass and if it was a woman doing it to a guy I'd be saying the same.
How the hell in all fairness, and I say this in the nicest of ways, do you know that he's the destructive one and to "kick him to the curb". Maybe he's suspicious of his cheating gf and its destroying him and his controllingness is nearly him trying to find out if something is going on....which it is. Maybe he should be the one doing the kicking to the curb, too many people read one thing and get on the band waggon on here, I do appreciate however that threads like this are a very hot topic of different opinions and everyone is entitled to their own
Much love
True, maybe i have jumped to conclusions but then as one who suffered at the hands of another who did this to me, all the while it being her who was doing the cheating along with a hell of a lot of other mental and physical abuse I do tend to see any controlling behavior as being done by the aggressor.
My bad."
I only comment the way I do with things like this topic as I also had the same as you, unfortunately it was her doing the damage and the cheating and I was the "mental suspicious one", nothing worse when you still want them back after all the hurt and they dont want you.... anyway I digress x |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
If you're wanting to communicate with her to help her get out of her situation, rather than complicate things - do it right under his nose on fb messenger. She always contacts you first. She sends a code when she can no longer chat so you know not to message. All conversations can be deleted.
If he is that controlling , he will find any hidden app. I'd also warn her if she has an iPhone, he is probably tracking it  |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"Hi - just wondering if anyone knows of a 'secret' app which a partner can't spot on our lovely playmate's phone? Her partner is quite controlling, and he insists on her leaving her phone on the table, without a password, and he regularly checks what she's been doing on her phone. He can see on WhatsApp when she was last logged on (even from his own phone) - yes, I know she can stop this, but he would instantly know she'd added this privacy feature - so she needs to install a new app which he won't have heard of!
Any suggestions please?
"
Then she needs to leave him, can't condone controlling behavior. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends on the phone.
Samsung have a vault option and you can have a second kik app hidden in that
Really? Tell me more. Not that I need it as I'm single but worth knowing "
It's also just useful for keeping things private too.
You should have a vault on your home page? All you need to do is set it up and the kik should already be on there. |
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There are ways to be discreet on your phone, but unless you're tech-savvy you may not completely hide your activity or worse have apps synced to each other and store information that you want to keep hidden.
If you need complete secrecy, it's best to buy a cheap burner phone for £10 or less and get a pay as you go SIM card. And if you do, watching 'Breaking Bad' is recommended on how to hide the second phone or explaining why you need one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hes a control freak and she is cheating??
Sounds like a relationship they both need to get out of
As for asking to help her find new ways to go sneaking, just dodgy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just answering the question: I know Kik messages disappear when you log out of the app. When you log in again, they don't come back, you just get 'nothing yet' written by usernames. She would need to remember to log out of Kik every time she's finished using it. New messages would not arrive until she's logged back in. |
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"Hang on! We only know third hand about this woman's relationship. She's going behind her partners back and wants a secret app on her phone but he's the controlling one based on what she's told the people she's seeing behind his back. Hmm.
I was thinking the same i see it more as guy suspecting he is being cheated on and wants to know if his suspicions are true. "
Spot on! |
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"Hi - just wondering if anyone knows of a 'secret' app which a partner can't spot on our lovely playmate's phone? Her partner is quite controlling, and he insists on her leaving her phone on the table, without a password, and he regularly checks what she's been doing on her phone. He can see on WhatsApp when she was last logged on (even from his own phone) - yes, I know she can stop this, but he would instantly know she'd added this privacy feature - so she needs to install a new app which he won't have heard of!
Any suggestions please?
"
I mean whilst this sounds like an horribly controlling partner, it also shows that he has a reason to be distrustful of her, why on earth are they together |
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"Hi - just wondering if anyone knows of a 'secret' app which a partner can't spot on our lovely playmate's phone? Her partner is quite controlling, and he insists on her leaving her phone on the table, without a password, and he regularly checks what she's been doing on her phone. He can see on WhatsApp when she was last logged on (even from his own phone) - yes, I know she can stop this, but he would instantly know she'd added this privacy feature - so she needs to install a new app which he won't have heard of!
Any suggestions please?
I mean whilst this sounds like an horribly controlling partner, it also shows that he has a reason to be distrustful of her, why on earth are they together"
Maybe he's turned on by slutty behaviour? |
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Are you sure she's a damsel in distress? It's also possible that she wants sex with you guys on her terms and when SHE wants but won't come out and say it. Have you seen the bf being controlling especially with her phone? Or is it possible she said this to you so you don't try to contact her? "He always checks my phone......" could mean "Don't message me,I'll get in touch when I'm ready"! Just a thought.... |
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"Hang on! We only know third hand about this woman's relationship. She's going behind her partners back and wants a secret app on her phone but he's the controlling one based on what she's told the people she's seeing behind his back. Hmm. "
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By *av501TV/TS
over a year ago
Mancetter? |
"The poster above is right - this kind of control is mental abuse and your playmate needs to get out of such relationship. It is not healthy and won't end well. I've been there and know well how the abuser can mask it or make it look like a "normal thing". She needs to recognise it and put the end to it.
Mrs"
Ive had this for years in a relationship even to the point where I have been unable to visit my own son or go in certain shops when out alone. I would be asked who was on whats been said etc.... and if ive snuck off for genuine reasons ive been made into a liar by virtue ..... Split now but still see each other for lots of reasons we're in love still but i couldnt take the rows etc.... which meant we stopped having sex and soon and so on ...Im genuinely a pleasant friendly guy .....it does not mean i want to shag every man and woman i make contact with or even the poeple ive worked with.....all men mostly ....ive left jobs because of it so so sad ...
Anyway OP your FWB ... she is cheating in the eyes of legality and the vows she took,assuming shes married, but sounds like with you for many reasons and she and her pattner need to deal with it full on.... its only time before violence starts ....but often constant mental abuse hurts more and the injuries are definitely deeper and last longer... sorry ive gone on. |
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"The poster above is right - this kind of control is mental abuse and your playmate needs to get out of such relationship. It is not healthy and won't end well. I've been there and know well how the abuser can mask it or make it look like a "normal thing". She needs to recognise it and put the end to it.
Mrs
Ive had this for years in a relationship even to the point where I have been unable to visit my own son or go in certain shops when out alone. I would be asked who was on whats been said etc.... and if ive snuck off for genuine reasons ive been made into a liar by virtue ..... Split now but still see each other for lots of reasons we're in love still but i couldnt take the rows etc.... which meant we stopped having sex and soon and so on ...Im genuinely a pleasant friendly guy .....it does not mean i want to shag every man and woman i make contact with or even the poeple ive worked with.....all men mostly ....ive left jobs because of it so so sad ...
Anyway OP your FWB ... she is cheating in the eyes of legality and the vows she took,assuming shes married, but sounds like with you for many reasons and she and her pattner need to deal with it full on.... its only time before violence starts ....but often constant mental abuse hurts more and the injuries are definitely deeper and last longer... sorry ive gone on. "
We only have 1 side of the story tho ...If i thought my husband was cheating and downloading secret apps etc I would be looking through his phone that don’t make me controlling just means he’s being a sneaky bastard and I Need for my own sanity to find out why!. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel sorry for her husband..she's obviously being deceitful and fucking other people behind his back..no wonder he is checking on her to find out the truth.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The poster above is right - this kind of control is mental abuse and your playmate needs to get out of such relationship. It is not healthy and won't end well. I've been there and know well how the abuser can mask it or make it look like a "normal thing". She needs to recognise it and put the end to it.
Mrs
Ive had this for years in a relationship even to the point where I have been unable to visit my own son or go in certain shops when out alone. I would be asked who was on whats been said etc.... and if ive snuck off for genuine reasons ive been made into a liar by virtue ..... Split now but still see each other for lots of reasons we're in love still but i couldnt take the rows etc.... which meant we stopped having sex and soon and so on ...Im genuinely a pleasant friendly guy .....it does not mean i want to shag every man and woman i make contact with or even the poeple ive worked with.....all men mostly ....ive left jobs because of it so so sad ...
Anyway OP your FWB ... she is cheating in the eyes of legality and the vows she took,assuming shes married, but sounds like with you for many reasons and she and her pattner need to deal with it full on.... its only time before violence starts ....but often constant mental abuse hurts more and the injuries are definitely deeper and last longer... sorry ive gone on. We only have 1 side of the story tho ...If i thought my husband was cheating and downloading secret apps etc I would be looking through his phone that don’t make me controlling just means he’s being a sneaky bastard and I Need for my own sanity to find out why!."
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The other side of this may be that the op has played with the playmate before and noticed something wrong. Perhaps this is nothing to do with enabling someone to cheat , rather looking out for someone who could be having trouble at home. She may be playing with permission but he could still be abusive and prying and the op is trying to be there as a sounding board or trying to help her work out ways to get away from him. How would you feel if we were to find out she was being abused at home while we were all calling her a cheat. Sometimes its hard to walk away from an abuser and the op may be trying to help either with advise on how to get away or just with a kind ear when things are bad. There are some sick fucks out there who are master manipulators. Without the rest of the reason we don't know why the messages need to be hidden . I really really hope I'm wrong and she is just cheating because if not then one of our community is living in hell every day and not getting the help they need |
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"The other side of this may be that the op has played with the playmate before and noticed something wrong. Perhaps this is nothing to do with enabling someone to cheat , rather looking out for someone who could be having trouble at home. She may be playing with permission but he could still be abusive and prying and the op is trying to be there as a sounding board or trying to help her work out ways to get away from him. How would you feel if we were to find out she was being abused at home while we were all calling her a cheat. Sometimes its hard to walk away from an abuser and the op may be trying to help either with advise on how to get away or just with a kind ear when things are bad. There are some sick fucks out there who are master manipulators. Without the rest of the reason we don't know why the messages need to be hidden . I really really hope I'm wrong and she is just cheating because if not then one of our community is living in hell every day and not getting the help they need"
Whilst your scenario is possible it seems to me highly unlikely. If a bloke is fine with his partner going out and fucking another couple, it doesn't strike me he's likely to be the controlling type. |
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