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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm curious to know peoples feelings about the DDlg dynamic and its place in casual sex.
I'm a natural Daddy Dom and have had casual littles as well as long term DDlg relationships and have enjoyed both types of the dynamic.
I'm not into the in cest or age play elements that some are. To me it's more about the care giving, nurturing and discipline |
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By *urvySub87Woman
over a year ago
Near Wellingborough |
I'm a little. I just want to start by saying that ddlg has nothing to do with in cest. I don't see doms as my father in anyway what so ever and they don't see me as their daughter. I just like to call my dom daddy and have him call me baby girl. It's a feeling of being connected, safe and cared for while practicing bdsm. I believe that ddlg is the softer side to bdsm in a sense as there is more "care" involved especially with aftercare. This has been my experience anyway |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Exactly right...I mentioned in cest only because a lot of people misunderstand the dynamic. I would also counter that it isnt always the softer side of bdsm it's a different dynamic that the master slave stuff but it can still be sadistic/masochistic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I should also add that it's not sadistic or masochistic for us, it's just his parental-esque nurturing and my child like mindset that makes this the natural state of our relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have been in long term Ddlg relationships that have a poly element where externally my partner is never little...I have also had ddlg relationships with women whose primary isn't a Daddy. It's very much a natural dynamic. A man cant pretend to be a daddy and woman can't pretend to be a little. You are that way for the right partner |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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And obviously there doesn't have to be an S/M element the dynamic is what you make of it, I was just saying the even though ddlg could be seen as a softer side of a dom sub relationship it isnt always |
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"I have been in long term Ddlg relationships that have a poly element where externally my partner is never little...I have also had ddlg relationships with women whose primary isn't a Daddy. It's very much a natural dynamic. A man cant pretend to be a daddy and woman can't pretend to be a little. You are that way for the right partner "
I'm poly but I don't like the primary/secondary thing. My longest term and nesting partner and I was more traditional D/s but I did have a DDlg dynamic with another partner for just over a year. I've recently met someone else and it may potentially go that way. For me it can't be a casual thing as there's a lot of intimacy involved. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
Everybody has a slightly different dynamic when it comes to DDlg. Like many aspects of the BDSM scene, nothing is set in stone for some people it involves SM, for others it involves other types of role play (including age and the one that can't be mentioned)
But when it's there and it works it's spectacular. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Im not a fan of the primary term either , I was using it to allow understanding for people that are maybe not familiar with a poly lifestyle. I agree that DDlg is a very intimate dynamic and I prefer it best longterm however I have had some very hot casual relationships where I'm daddy, she is little girl and it's all about the sex, they have included an element of s/m (I can be pretty sadistic with a willing partner) but they always include lots of aftercare |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Everybody has a slightly different dynamic when it comes to DDlg. Like many aspects of the BDSM scene, nothing is set in stone for some people it involves SM, for others it involves other types of role play (including age and the one that can't be mentioned)
But when it's there and it works it's spectacular. "
Nail. Head, Hit
It's a very misunderstood dynamic but to me it's my natural dynamic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s been my personal kink for a long time, before I even had words for it... but I’m yet to find a regular playmate with whom I can have the dynamic I want. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s been my personal kink for a long time, before I even had words for it... but I’m yet to find a regular playmate with whom I can have the dynamic I want."
What does DDlg mean to you? How does it look? I'm keen to understand everyones perspective |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s been my personal kink for a long time, before I even had words for it... but I’m yet to find a regular playmate with whom I can have the dynamic I want.
What does DDlg mean to you? How does it look? I'm keen to understand everyones perspective "
I like feeling small (the irony), naive, corruptible. I like feeling coaxed and coerced. I like being coddled and nurtured too, but I think what’s really intoxicating for me is when those things are combined with being used and debased.
I think anything is fine, so long as it’s the fantasies of two consenting adults who know that it isn’t anything more than fantasy and play.
I’m aware not everyone else thinks like I do and they want to distance ddlg from in cest and age play... but I guess I like taboo! |
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By *urvySub87Woman
over a year ago
Near Wellingborough |
"It’s been my personal kink for a long time, before I even had words for it... but I’m yet to find a regular playmate with whom I can have the dynamic I want.
What does DDlg mean to you? How does it look? I'm keen to understand everyones perspective
I like feeling small (the irony), naive, corruptible. I like feeling coaxed and coerced. I like being coddled and nurtured too, but I think what’s really intoxicating for me is when those things are combined with being used and debased.
I think anything is fine, so long as it’s the fantasies of two consenting adults who know that it isn’t anything more than fantasy and play.
I’m aware not everyone else thinks like I do and they want to distance ddlg from in cest and age play... but I guess I like taboo!"
I think you've described it perfectly |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s been my personal kink for a long time, before I even had words for it... but I’m yet to find a regular playmate with whom I can have the dynamic I want.
What does DDlg mean to you? How does it look? I'm keen to understand everyones perspective
I like feeling small (the irony), naive, corruptible. I like feeling coaxed and coerced. I like being coddled and nurtured too, but I think what’s really intoxicating for me is when those things are combined with being used and debased.
I think anything is fine, so long as it’s the fantasies of two consenting adults who know that it isn’t anything more than fantasy and play.
I’m aware not everyone else thinks like I do and they want to distance ddlg from in cest and age play... but I guess I like taboo!
I think you've described it perfectly "
I think it's a tough subject to describe perfectly because it's such a spectrum but I do know that for me the taboo elements very much appeal |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"Can someone define "aftercare"? "
Cuddling, kissing, nurturing - it can be really varied. I've done everything from having a bath together to being wrapped in a snuggly blanket because my temperature drops. Even messages checking in following it can be part of aftercare.
After really intense moments, I get a drop and I can't explain it particularly clearly. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can someone define "aftercare"? "
After playing in an intense way be it Psychology or Physically a person will have some level of come down...sometimes called sub drop but I have also experienced as dom drop.
When you are at such heightened levels of arousal and intensity your brain is pumping out endorphins, much like people on ecstasy feel...when that stops your body and mind go into a down state.
After care is the practice of acknowledging that state and managing it..taking a bath, having a hot sweet tea being held being spoken to softly and kindly being taken care of after the intensity has subsided. After consent Its THE most important part of any dom sub dynamic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Exactly for me it's a warm blanket snuggled up and being spoken softly to as I tend to drift in and out after an intense play. And the only part of me that can be touched is my hair as am hyper sensitive and shakey |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Exactly for me it's a warm blanket snuggled up and being spoken softly to as I tend to drift in and out after an intense play. And the only part of me that can be touched is my hair as am hyper sensitive and shakey"
To me, aftercare is a time of reflection as well, especially if my partner is shaking or sobbing I like to use that time to ask what was good what was bad, learn about my partners psyche and improve for next time whilst ALWAYS focusing on her care and needs post play |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"And I should add it probably takes the same amount of time if not longer than the actual scene took in the first place. "
most definitely..sometimes longer. I have had dom drop hit 24hrs after a heavy session. The harder the play the bigger the reward the bigger the downside is...I mentioned ecstacy earlier, I have never done it but I have friends who have and do and it sounds exactly the same.....bdsm is MDMA ha...although after buying the things I have used over the years a drug habit would have been cheaper!!
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"And I should add it probably takes the same amount of time if not longer than the actual scene took in the first place. most definitely..sometimes longer. I have had dom drop hit 24hrs after a heavy session. The harder the play the bigger the reward the bigger the downside is...I mentioned ecstacy earlier, I have never done it but I have friends who have and do and it sounds exactly the same.....bdsm is MDMA ha...although after buying the things I have used over the years a drug habit would have been cheaper!!"
It's a bugger when the drop occurs a while after, so unpredictable and awkward as hell if it happens when I need to concentrate. The more intense the scene the harder the drop can be. Experience has let me manage it better but it's not something I can prevent. And your last comment just made me laugh a lot |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"And I should add it probably takes the same amount of time if not longer than the actual scene took in the first place. most definitely..sometimes longer. I have had dom drop hit 24hrs after a heavy session. The harder the play the bigger the reward the bigger the downside is...I mentioned ecstacy earlier, I have never done it but I have friends who have and do and it sounds exactly the same.....bdsm is MDMA ha...although after buying the things I have used over the years a drug habit would have been cheaper!!
It's a bugger when the drop occurs a while after, so unpredictable and awkward as hell if it happens when I need to concentrate. The more intense the scene the harder the drop can be. Experience has let me manage it better but it's not something I can prevent. And your last comment just made me laugh a lot "
It's funny because its true... I'm not even a big whips and chains type of person but the number of stupid cute crystal butt plugs I have purchased for little girls in the past could fund a huge habit but my drug is sending her to work plugged and pantieless thinking about Daddy that thought is my narcotic addiction |
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"Exactly for me it's a warm blanket snuggled up and being spoken softly to as I tend to drift in and out after an intense play. And the only part of me that can be touched is my hair as am hyper sensitive and shakey
To me, aftercare is a time of reflection as well, especially if my partner is shaking or sobbing I like to use that time to ask what was good what was bad, learn about my partners psyche and improve for next time whilst ALWAYS focusing on her care and needs post play"
Totally agree. I literally need support to walk after an intense session. Mostly because I take time to rebalance following sub space. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you need to walk post session you're getting fucked too far from home ha 
That's where I've been going wrong. Thanks for the advice. "
You're welcome am happy to do house visits  |
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"If you need to walk post session you're getting fucked too far from home ha
That's where I've been going wrong. Thanks for the advice.
You're welcome am happy to do house visits "
That could solve my bambi legs problem. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you need to walk post session you're getting fucked too far from home ha
That's where I've been going wrong. Thanks for the advice.
You're welcome am happy to do house visits
That could solve my bambi legs problem. "
I think you might still find your legs spreading on slippery ground.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have experience of being a submissive. I've only ever been in the D/s relationship where it's purely just that.
I'am however, open & game to try new experiences such as DDlg/ ect.
It's always great to try new experiences & explore the dynamics x
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have experience of being a submissive. I've only ever been in the D/s relationship where it's purely just that.
I'am however, open & game to try new experiences such as DDlg/ ect.
It's always great to try new experiences & explore the dynamics x
"
I see you guys are a couple...you should start calling him daddy and ask him to take care of you when you have been bad...if you are in a D/s dynamic already it's easy to either add or transition to DDlg as long as both parties are into it.
It should be noted that dominanys are not always able to be a Daddy but a Daddy is always a dominant |
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By *urvySub87Woman
over a year ago
Near Wellingborough |
"I have experience of being a submissive. I've only ever been in the D/s relationship where it's purely just that.
I'am however, open & game to try new experiences such as DDlg/ ect.
It's always great to try new experiences & explore the dynamics x
I see you guys are a couple...you should start calling him daddy and ask him to take care of you when you have been bad...if you are in a D/s dynamic already it's easy to either add or transition to DDlg as long as both parties are into it.
It should be noted that dominanys are not always able to be a Daddy but a Daddy is always a dominant"
That's interesting, are you saying that not all doms can give the care that a little needs? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
It should be noted that dominanys are not always able to be a Daddy but a Daddy is always a dominant
That's interesting, are you saying that not all doms can give the care that a little needs?"
I would say that anyone who is a true dominant (and I hate that term btw) is well versed with aftercare. I would further suggest that due to the deeper levels of intimacy and intensity that a DDlg dynamic exposes, a Daddy dom needs to provide a different level of aftercare |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"It should be noted that dominanys are not always able to be a Daddy but a Daddy is always a dominant"
Oh no. Now there I have to disagree... I have two littles. The elder of the two is a very bratty switch... Her daddy was also a switch. That was a wonderfully fun relationship and dynamic. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"
It should be noted that dominanys are not always able to be a Daddy but a Daddy is always a dominant
That's interesting, are you saying that not all doms can give the care that a little needs?
I would say that anyone who is a true dominant (and I hate that term btw) is well versed with aftercare. I would further suggest that due to the deeper levels of intimacy and intensity that a DDlg dynamic exposes, a Daddy dom needs to provide a different level of aftercare "
My DDlg dynamics always include age play. As such the dominant has to bear in mind that it is akin to regression and so needs additional support as I return to the real world |
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"
It should be noted that dominanys are not always able to be a Daddy but a Daddy is always a dominant"
I have to agree in the sense of the Ddlg dynamic only but in the wider sense the roles are open to reversal.
I’ve had two long term, intense relationships where my little princess was the dominant partner, and Daddy was the nurturing, caring submissive side.
So, while it’s less popular, the dynamic can be switched around, sometimes Princess can be a manipulative, wicked little bitch who gets daddy to do just what she wants.
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"
It should be noted that dominanys are not always able to be a Daddy but a Daddy is always a dominant
I have to agree in the sense of the Ddlg dynamic only but in the wider sense the roles are open to reversal.
I’ve had two long term, intense relationships where my little princess was the dominant partner, and Daddy was the nurturing, caring submissive side.
So, while it’s less popular, the dynamic can be switched around, sometimes Princess can be a manipulative, wicked little bitch who gets daddy to do just what she wants.
"
My Daddy was mostly Dominant but sometimes I convinced him to play the game where he got tied up and blindfolded for being a naughty Daddy . |
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"
It should be noted that dominanys are not always able to be a Daddy but a Daddy is always a dominant
I have to agree in the sense of the Ddlg dynamic only but in the wider sense the roles are open to reversal.
I’ve had two long term, intense relationships where my little princess was the dominant partner, and Daddy was the nurturing, caring submissive side.
So, while it’s less popular, the dynamic can be switched around, sometimes Princess can be a manipulative, wicked little bitch who gets daddy to do just what she wants.
My Daddy was mostly Dominant but sometimes I convinced him to play the game where he got tied up and blindfolded for being a naughty Daddy ."
Lucky daddy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It should be noted that dominanys are not always able to be a Daddy but a Daddy is always a dominant
I have to agree in the sense of the Ddlg dynamic only but in the wider sense the roles are open to reversal.
I’ve had two long term, intense relationships where my little princess was the dominant partner, and Daddy was the nurturing, caring submissive side.
So, while it’s less popular, the dynamic can be switched around, sometimes Princess can be a manipulative, wicked little bitch who gets daddy to do just what she wants.
My Daddy was mostly Dominant but sometimes I convinced him to play the game where he got tied up and blindfolded for being a naughty Daddy ."
Mammy  |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"
So, while it’s less popular, the dynamic can be switched around, sometimes Princess can be a manipulative, wicked little bitch who gets daddy to do just what she wants.
My Daddy was mostly Dominant but sometimes I convinced him to play the game where he got tied up and blindfolded for being a naughty Daddy ."
This... My 'bigger' little is all about this... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
So, while it’s less popular, the dynamic can be switched around, sometimes Princess can be a manipulative, wicked little bitch who gets daddy to do just what she wants.
My Daddy was mostly Dominant but sometimes I convinced him to play the game where he got tied up and blindfolded for being a naughty Daddy .
This... My 'bigger' little is all about this..."
As with all things in the bdsm sphere there are variances
Switch Daddies are definitely a thing and anyone who suggests otherwise I'd cray cray |
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