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Disability and attitude to it
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OK - N here. I'm going to be honest and say that I am an ambulant wheelchair user. I can walk short distances with a stick. I have a nerve injury caused by pregnancy so I've been like this for the past 3yrs. Prior to that, I was totally able bodied.
I haven't put it on our profile but I drop it into conversations if they're getting serious. A couple of people have not been bothered or even interested in my wheelchair basketball. However, quite a few have disappeared soon after the mention.
Why are people offput by a relatively minor disability? One of the only areas of my life that it doesn't impact is my sex life. I just can't do things standing and a partner needs to support my left leg and not squeeze it or stroke it.
S and I have an active and kinky sex life but seems that a wheelchair is an obstacle to some. It's freedom to me.
Also clubs - bloody steps everywhere! |
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We as a society have a very long way to come regarding disability of all kinds. And while it is "just preference" which everyone's entitled, it does also manifest in patterned ways that create quite a harsh environment for the disabled. |
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The thing is, yes, I will turn up in a wheelchair but then I'll walk on the stick upstairs, for example, and so long as you don't want to stand me against the wall, I am unaffected sexually. It's the image of the wheelchair that some people seem to have a mental block with. It's a sexy, whizzy chair and I can go really fast in it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i grew up with a father in a wheel chair, Arris father was in one later in life, they make no difference to us, may be the way we grew up, i always remember at a very young age asking my friend at sports day why his dad stood up, he looked at me agast, but when he got to know my dad he was his biggest champion, funny how what you know changes |
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"The thing is, yes, I will turn up in a wheelchair but then I'll walk on the stick upstairs, for example, and so long as you don't want to stand me against the wall, I am unaffected sexually. It's the image of the wheelchair that some people seem to have a mental block with. It's a sexy, whizzy chair and I can go really fast in it "
And for the right person, little accommodations aren't always a lot to ask. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People are pricks, if they can't handle a disability then they're not worth knowing. It's not like you are trying to hide the fact from people as it has no effect on the relationship you are engaging with other people for. It's totally irrational and is akin to stop talking to someone because they drive a Skoda x |
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It’s very simple for me. If the attraction and spark is there the rest is easy.
I dated a woman in a chair and fancied the pants of someone in here who was in one shame she is gone as I regret not messaging.
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"My chair is more of a Lambo than Skoda and using it means I have a ripped back, strong shoulders and arms. Some people find that sexy  "
I love broad shoulders on a woman especially in doggy. Takes me back to when I dated a swimmer.
Good times.
I hope you guys find what you are looking for.  |
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Don't think you need to mention the chair if it doesn't affect sex.
I'm not far from you and i did tell people i'm disabled and they were nice about it and still wanted to meet. My confidence has gone though so i'm not meeting for now.
I know a lot of disabled people enter the world of kink, esp if they have additional issues like incontinence. |
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"Don't think you need to mention the chair if it doesn't affect sex.
I'm not far from you and i did tell people i'm disabled and they were nice about it and still wanted to meet. My confidence has gone though so i'm not meeting for now.
I know a lot of disabled people enter the world of kink, esp if they have additional issues like incontinence."
I only mention it so its not weird when we meet in person. I am fortunate not to have any other issues apart from one leg that doesn't work properly and a bit of back/hip pain. Sex is one thing I enjoy possibly more now than when I was AB. |
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By *rK MrsJCouple
over a year ago
Kidderminster |
"Don't think you need to mention the chair if it doesn't affect sex.
I'm not far from you and i did tell people i'm disabled and they were nice about it and still wanted to meet. My confidence has gone though so i'm not meeting for now.
I know a lot of disabled people enter the world of kink, esp if they have additional issues like incontinence.
I only mention it so its not weird when we meet in person. I am fortunate not to have any other issues apart from one leg that doesn't work properly and a bit of back/hip pain. Sex is one thing I enjoy possibly more now than when I was AB. "
It's a shame we're not closer. |
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By *hMyGawdCouple
over a year ago
Midlands |
Maybe put a humorous spin on it to diffuse any negativity?
"You can fuck me so hard you need not worry about whether I can walk afterwards" sort of thing? Self deprecation puts a lot of people at ease and breaks the ice.
- Mr |
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"OK - N here. I'm going to be honest and say that I am an ambulant wheelchair user. I can walk short distances with a stick. I have a nerve injury caused by pregnancy so I've been like this for the past 3yrs. Prior to that, I was totally able bodied.
I haven't put it on our profile but I drop it into conversations if they're getting serious. A couple of people have not been bothered or even interested in my wheelchair basketball. However, quite a few have disappeared soon after the mention.
Why are people offput by a relatively minor disability? One of the only areas of my life that it doesn't impact is my sex life. I just can't do things standing and a partner needs to support my left leg and not squeeze it or stroke it.
S and I have an active and kinky sex life but seems that a wheelchair is an obstacle to some. It's freedom to me.
Also clubs - bloody steps everywhere! "
Unfortunately as a society I don't think the vast majority of people know how to deal with ANY form of disability. It's such a shame as we are all humans after all and should not be seen differently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its preference at the end of the day.
It may seem discriminatory because you're on the end of it but it's no different to not wanting to have sex with people based on other factors. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you do the right thing in mentioning it, if it freaks people out in a message do you really want to deal with their reaction if they find out about it for the first tone when they meet you.
And people are small minded. For all that people will deny it the swinging scene is very often a very conformist normative scene and many people wint be interested in those that dont mirror their own perception of normality.
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"Its preference at the end of the day.
It may seem discriminatory because you're on the end of it but it's no different to not wanting to have sex with people based on other factors."
I agree with this, I have to say.
Someone on here said I was discriminating him because I wasn’t “open minded” after declining an invitation to a meet. I was just not physically attracted to him. At all. Being a wheelchair had absolutely nothing to do with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK - N here. I'm going to be honest and say that I am an ambulant wheelchair user. I can walk short distances with a stick. I have a nerve injury caused by pregnancy so I've been like this for the past 3yrs. Prior to that, I was totally able bodied.
I haven't put it on our profile but I drop it into conversations if they're getting serious. A couple of people have not been bothered or even interested in my wheelchair basketball. However, quite a few have disappeared soon after the mention.
Why are people offput by a relatively minor disability? One of the only areas of my life that it doesn't impact is my sex life. I just can't do things standing and a partner needs to support my left leg and not squeeze it or stroke it.
S and I have an active and kinky sex life but seems that a wheelchair is an obstacle to some. It's freedom to me.
Also clubs - bloody steps everywhere! "
It doesn't bother me at all. Just remember not all people are so shallow. X |
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No difference here .... it’s all about personality, sexuality and connection .... nothing to do with mobility.
I have met and been out with a disabled lady .... and had a lot of fun! If someone has a problem with it then they aren’t worth bothering with.
Love your pics - stunning lady.
Rachel xxx |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"Its preference at the end of the day.
It may seem discriminatory because you're on the end of it but it's no different to not wanting to have sex with people based on other factors.
I agree with this, I have to say.
Someone on here said I was discriminating him because I wasn’t “open minded” after declining an invitation to a meet. I was just not physically attracted to him. At all. Being a wheelchair had absolutely nothing to do with it. "
^Being a wheelchair user, I meant. Apologies!  |
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"Its preference at the end of the day.
It may seem discriminatory because you're on the end of it but it's no different to not wanting to have sex with people based on other factors.
I agree with this, I have to say.
Someone on here said I was discriminating him because I wasn’t “open minded” after declining an invitation to a meet. I was just not physically attracted to him. At all. Being a wheelchair had absolutely nothing to do with it. "
But that's not the same? You didnt engage with him because you wasnt attracted to him. The OP is saying they talk and everything's fine until they find out about the wheel chair? X |
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"Its preference at the end of the day.
It may seem discriminatory because you're on the end of it but it's no different to not wanting to have sex with people based on other factors.
I agree with this, I have to say.
Someone on here said I was discriminating him because I wasn’t “open minded” after declining an invitation to a meet. I was just not physically attracted to him. At all. Being a wheelchair had absolutely nothing to do with it.
But that's not the same? You didnt engage with him because you wasnt attracted to him. The OP is saying they talk and everything's fine until they find out about the wheel chair? X"
Exactly right. They fancy us in pictures, they seem to want the same as us but in some cases, you suggest a social meet and that it needs to be accessible or to look out for the lady in the red sporty chair and then all of a sudden, radio silence. I fully understand preference etc but if my ass is that tasty etc, why does it matter if I'm sat on it a lot of the time? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its preference at the end of the day.
It may seem discriminatory because you're on the end of it but it's no different to not wanting to have sex with people based on other factors.
I agree with this, I have to say.
Someone on here said I was discriminating him because I wasn’t “open minded” after declining an invitation to a meet. I was just not physically attracted to him. At all. Being a wheelchair had absolutely nothing to do with it.
But that's not the same? You didnt engage with him because you wasnt attracted to him. The OP is saying they talk and everything's fine until they find out about the wheel chair? X
Exactly right. They fancy us in pictures, they seem to want the same as us but in some cases, you suggest a social meet and that it needs to be accessible or to look out for the lady in the red sporty chair and then all of a sudden, radio silence. I fully understand preference etc but if my ass is that tasty etc, why does it matter if I'm sat on it a lot of the time? "
It's a superb ass, there's no denying it |
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"OK - N here. I'm going to be honest and say that I am an ambulant wheelchair user. I can walk short distances with a stick. I have a nerve injury caused by pregnancy so I've been like this for the past 3yrs. Prior to that, I was totally able bodied.
I haven't put it on our profile but I drop it into conversations if they're getting serious. A couple of people have not been bothered or even interested in my wheelchair basketball. However, quite a few have disappeared soon after the mention.
Why are people offput by a relatively minor disability? One of the only areas of my life that it doesn't impact is my sex life. I just can't do things standing and a partner needs to support my left leg and not squeeze it or stroke it.
S and I have an active and kinky sex life but seems that a wheelchair is an obstacle to some. It's freedom to me.
Also clubs - bloody steps everywhere! "
It would be a yes from us, so if people don’t accept you for what ever reason? There loss..... |
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"
Exactly right. They fancy us in pictures, they seem to want the same as us but in some cases, you suggest a social meet and that it needs to be accessible or to look out for the lady in the red sporty chair and then all of a sudden, radio silence. I fully understand preference etc but if my ass is that tasty etc, why does it matter if I'm sat on it a lot of the time?
It's a superb ass, there's no denying it "
Why thank you |
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Don't get me wrong, I don't want to meet anyone who looks down on me (haha) because of the chair BUT if you've been chatting, exchanged mutual admiration and are starting to discuss the next step, I'd rather they were just honest rather than abruptly disappearing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe it's that they have an idea in their head of how they would like a meet to go, say I dunno, they would like you walking up the stairs seductively, lifting your leg over the banister or whatever and that can't happen. That bubble in their head has now been burst.
For others perhaps they are genuinely afraid of hurting you. I know I'd feel like shit if someone had an injury and in the heat of the moment I forgot and grabbed it, or got my left n rights mixed up coz of the way they were facing or something. I'd feel like a right cunt.
Perhaps they just ain't that comfortable as it's new to them. You've had the time since you've been in the chair to get used to it, know your limitations etc, alone and as a couple, whereas new peeps don't have a clue.
Hope that may offer a couple of different perspectives.
P |
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"Maybe it's that they have an idea in their head of how they would like a meet to go, say I dunno, they would like you walking up the stairs seductively, lifting your leg over the banister or whatever and that can't happen. That bubble in their head has now been burst.
For others perhaps they are genuinely afraid of hurting you. I know I'd feel like shit if someone had an injury and in the heat of the moment I forgot and grabbed it, or got my left n rights mixed up coz of the way they were facing or something. I'd feel like a right cunt.
Perhaps they just ain't that comfortable as it's new to them. You've had the time since you've been in the chair to get used to it, know your limitations etc, alone and as a couple, whereas new peeps don't have a clue.
Hope that may offer a couple of different perspectives.
P"
I'm talking social meets here. I don't get my legs over the bannister without meeting them first. And surely the whole hurting thing comes under discussing limits and boundaries? Just like someone might say no anal because it hurts me, I will say don't stroke my left leg and remember to support it if you want my legs in the air. That's what I don't get. If things were hunky dory up until the point I'm arriving to meet at Costa in a wheelchair, then I'm struggling to understand fully. I may perhaps be in the minority but there we are. |
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"Don't get me wrong, I don't want to meet anyone who looks down on me (haha) because of the chair BUT if you've been chatting, exchanged mutual admiration and are starting to discuss the next step, I'd rather they were just honest rather than abruptly disappearing "
I met a bi mf couple and the woman was, like yourself, using aids to walk but she hadnt started to use a wheelchair. She was on painkillers most of the time but she didnt let any of this stop her.
I wasnt aware of any of her difficulties prior to meeting. We all met in town for a brew in the afternoon, they were already talent spotting before i arrived. Had half an hour outside playing guess the swinger with passers by, then decided to go back to their house. It was only when we stood up to leave that i saw her walking aids. Never phased me in the slightest. I was too busy thinking how gorgeous she was and what we were all going to be getting up to. We managed quite a few positions and variations, once on the bed there were very few limitations to her movements. |
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"I have crohn's which is a bit shit for someone who's a bottom TV. Pun inended. "
Im starting to think ive got ibs, i cant drink coffee, certain beers, certain meats.... getting to be a real pain. It has meant im eating more fibre and thats helping with...preparation to put it politely. |
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"
I met a bi mf couple and the woman was, like yourself, using aids to walk but she hadnt started to use a wheelchair. She was on painkillers most of the time but she didnt let any of this stop her.
I wasnt aware of any of her difficulties prior to meeting. We all met in town for a brew in the afternoon, they were already talent spotting before i arrived. Had half an hour outside playing guess the swinger with passers by, then decided to go back to their house. It was only when we stood up to leave that i saw her walking aids. Never phased me in the slightest. I was too busy thinking how gorgeous she was and what we were all going to be getting up to. We managed quite a few positions and variations, once on the bed there were very few limitations to her movements. "
Waving from somewhere in Bolton to somewhere not too far away! I have almost no limitations sexually. I can't really do standing up things and I need the leg supporting against gravity,but I can still have my legs pushed right back or over shoulders, I can kneel, bend over, take a good spanking etc I can't sashay round in heels or do sexy walking but I can pull wheelies and whiz down ramps at alarming speed  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sarcasm is the way forward.
Self depreciating humour is always great to break the ice. It shows you own it and take ownership of the situation you have been placed in. State it in your profile, it will help filter out people and remove that shock factor that may put people off.
You clearly are nice as we spoke before but sadly many people dont see past the body. To each their own. |
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"Sarcasm is the way forward.
Self depreciating humour is always great to break the ice. It shows you own it and take ownership of the situation you have been placed in. State it in your profile, it will help filter out people and remove that shock factor that may put people off.
You clearly are nice as we spoke before but sadly many people dont see past the body. To each their own."
You are the young fitty that we had to pass on, by virtue of your immense youth, mores the shame. Thank you for your kind words and advice  |
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"
I met a bi mf couple and the woman was, like yourself, using aids to walk but she hadnt started to use a wheelchair. She was on painkillers most of the time but she didnt let any of this stop her.
I wasnt aware of any of her difficulties prior to meeting. We all met in town for a brew in the afternoon, they were already talent spotting before i arrived. Had half an hour outside playing guess the swinger with passers by, then decided to go back to their house. It was only when we stood up to leave that i saw her walking aids. Never phased me in the slightest. I was too busy thinking how gorgeous she was and what we were all going to be getting up to. We managed quite a few positions and variations, once on the bed there were very few limitations to her movements.
Waving from somewhere in Bolton to somewhere not too far away! I have almost no limitations sexually. I can't really do standing up things and I need the leg supporting against gravity,but I can still have my legs pushed right back or over shoulders, I can kneel, bend over, take a good spanking etc I can't sashay round in heels or do sexy walking but I can pull wheelies and whiz down ramps at alarming speed "
Ive found im fine on the day. But the next day! Muscles aching that i havent felt in years! Too much time spent keeping my ass at just the right height for a partner or standing behind with knees slightly bent to make sure im hitting all their right spots.
If it hurts the next day, i suppose it must be keeping me fit right? Or is it just age??? |
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"It's basically weighted squats, right? Probably a legit gym exercise if it didn't involve having your erect penis out in public! "
My fb plays better music than you get in a gym too! Some of those gym machines look like they could be useful in the bedroom though. I know which way i prefer to work up a sweat. |
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"It's basically weighted squats, right? Probably a legit gym exercise if it didn't involve having your erect penis out in public!
My fb plays better music than you get in a gym too! Some of those gym machines look like they could be useful in the bedroom though. I know which way i prefer to work up a sweat. "
Many of the benches for free weights I'm sure come from the same factory as spanking tables and things you tie people across in dungeons  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex partner had cerebal palsey. We were together for 16 years and whilst I was with her I fancied the arse off her. When I met her she had a "fuck the World, nothing is impossible" attitude and I loved that. Believe me, nothing is impossible, it just might take a little bit of working out sometimes. |
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"OK - N here. I'm going to be honest and say that I am an ambulant wheelchair user. I can walk short distances with a stick. I have a nerve injury caused by pregnancy so I've been like this for the past 3yrs. Prior to that, I was totally able bodied.
I haven't put it on our profile but I drop it into conversations if they're getting serious. A couple of people have not been bothered or even interested in my wheelchair basketball. However, quite a few have disappeared soon after the mention.
Why are people offput by a relatively minor disability? One of the only areas of my life that it doesn't impact is my sex life. I just can't do things standing and a partner needs to support my left leg and not squeeze it or stroke it.
S and I have an active and kinky sex life but seems that a wheelchair is an obstacle to some. It's freedom to me.
Also clubs - bloody steps everywhere! "
A disablity activist mate of mine put a fab review of quest - message us and I will send it to you 
Ms Icebreaker |
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