FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Larger guys at clubs
Larger guys at clubs
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
| |||
"We all come in different shapes and sizes but as a larger rounded man is this a turn off at clubs. I’m asking as I’ve never attended one because I feel very nervous about this and don’t want my confidence shot to pieces " There are guys of all shapes and sizes at clubs from all walks of life, as we all like something different The main thing to remember about clubs is to go with an open mind and to socialize and if more happens great Always remember to be polite and good hygiene and smell nice | |||
"People come in different shapes and sizes, including in clubs (unless you choose some very elitist clubs). For me, a guy can be the most handsome, toned up etc, but if he is not prepared to have an old-fashioned chat with me in the club, he will be getting nowhere. As I am old-fashioned, my brain needs to be stimulated before my body. Conclusion: if you are prepared to go to a club with no expectations, be friendly and chatty, your size should not be a problem unless you'll make it one." Thank You x | |||
"We all come in different shapes and sizes but as a larger rounded man is this a turn off at clubs. I’m asking as I’ve never attended one because I feel very nervous about this and don’t want my confidence shot to pieces There are guys of all shapes and sizes at clubs from all walks of life, as we all like something different The main thing to remember about clubs is to go with an open mind and to socialize and if more happens great Always remember to be polite and good hygiene and smell nice " Thank You. And yes I always do smell nice and I’m sparkly clean lol. Xx | |||
Whatever people may say here, at swingers clubs you will be judged on your looks. No matter how nice and chatty you are, if someone doesn't fancy you physically, they won't have sex with you.
If you go to the club on a single guy night and you are significantly larger than average than its not very likely you will get any action. That's because there will be a lot of completion and couples and women are likely to find slimmer guys attractive.
Now, if you are content to go to a club and just chat to people and not expect to have sex, that's fine. If you will get upset if people won't have sex with you then I would advise you strongly not to go.
I'm sorry if this appears harsh, but it's better to know the truth I think than be fed comforting nonsense. | |||
| |||
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'll have to tell you some uncomfortable truths
Whatever people may say here, at swingers clubs you will be judged on your looks. No matter how nice and chatty you are, if someone doesn't fancy you physically, they won't have sex with you.
If you go to the club on a single guy night and you are significantly larger than average than its not very likely you will get any action. That's because there will be a lot of completion and couples and women are likely to find slimmer guys attractive.
Now, if you are content to go to a club and just chat to people and not expect to have sex, that's fine. If you will get upset if people won't have sex with you then I would advise you strongly not to go.
I'm sorry if this appears harsh, but it's better to know the truth I think than be fed comforting nonsense. "How is it nonsense when people have first hand experience, I've been going to clubs and parties as a single and as a couple for over a decade and mostly attend with a larger white guy, but do attend with other regular play mates of different shape,size and colour Every club and everyone's experiences are different and I know loads of larger guys that go to clubs,my swinging partner of over a decade is a larger chap I'm talking XXL+, and he doesn't go short of plays yet some of the slimmer guys I've attended with have done no better or worse on the play front, just like when I go to clubs and events with girlfriends who are much slimmer than me and they have not had any action all night but I've had loads But personally no one should ever go to a club expecting to get sex unless they are going to a club that employees working girls, as no one can be everyone's cup of tea and there is no bigger turn off than guys who think they are definitely getting a shag, and luckily alot of people go on more than just looks But you are right if you are not a swinger and in to the social side of it then a swingers club might not be the right place,as it's a swingers club not a sex club which sadly alot of people don't know the difference between the two | |||
| |||
"If you go to the club on a single guy night and you are significantly larger than average than its not very likely you will get any action. That's because there will be a lot of completion and couples and women are likely to find slimmer guys attractive. " That is not strictly true, at least not in my case. I do prefer engaging personality rather than looks. | |||
| |||
| |||
"People come in different shapes and sizes, including in clubs (unless you choose some very elitist clubs). For me, a guy can be the most handsome, toned up etc, but if he is not prepared to have an old-fashioned chat with me in the club, he will be getting nowhere. As I am old-fashioned, my brain needs to be stimulated before my body. Conclusion: if you are prepared to go to a club with no expectations, be friendly and chatty, your size should not be a problem unless you'll make it one." This ^ | |||
| |||
| |||
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'll have to tell you some uncomfortable truths
Whatever people may say here, at swingers clubs you will be judged on your looks. No matter how nice and chatty you are, if someone doesn't fancy you physically, they won't have sex with you.
If you go to the club on a single guy night and you are significantly larger than average than its not very likely you will get any action. That's because there will be a lot of completion and couples and women are likely to find slimmer guys attractive.
Now, if you are content to go to a club and just chat to people and not expect to have sex, that's fine. If you will get upset if people won't have sex with you then I would advise you strongly not to go.
I'm sorry if this appears harsh, but it's better to know the truth I think than be fed comforting nonsense. "Please don't judge the rest of us by your standards. You may feel this way but many don't. | |||
"We all come in different shapes and sizes but as a larger rounded man is this a turn off at clubs. I’m asking as I’ve never attended one because I feel very nervous about this and don’t want my confidence shot to pieces " So much B.s. on this thread it's hard to know where to start Some quick pointers 1. Not all women prefer skinny men 2. Not all men prefer skinny men 3.Not all non binary people prefer skinny men 4. Google bears 5. The sexiest man I have ever met is larger - and he generally is not short of offers in clubs I don't know what you class as larger, our societal narratives mean people have really fucked up body images but if you go to a club where only size zero ppl are welcome the problem isn't you..it's them Ms Icebreaker | |||
| |||
"We all come in different shapes and sizes but as a larger rounded man is this a turn off at clubs. I’m asking as I’ve never attended one because I feel very nervous about this and don’t want my confidence shot to pieces " Best advice I can give you, as you are a bi male, is to look for events where bi guys are preferred  | |||
 | |||
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'll have to tell you some uncomfortable truths
Whatever people may say here, at swingers clubs you will be judged on your looks. No matter how nice and chatty you are, if someone doesn't fancy you physically, they won't have sex with you.
If you go to the club on a single guy night and you are significantly larger than average than its not very likely you will get any action. That's because there will be a lot of completion and couples and women are likely to find slimmer guys attractive.
Now, if you are content to go to a club and just chat to people and not expect to have sex, that's fine. If you will get upset if people won't have sex with you then I would advise you strongly not to go.
I'm sorry if this appears harsh, but it's better to know the truth I think than be fed comforting nonsense.
Please don't judge the rest of us by your standards.
You may feel this way but many don't. "They're not "my standards" at all. They're a description of reality as I perceive it. The OP appears to be quite a sensitive self conscious chap and I don't think it's doing him any favours to big up his hopes about what is likely to happen if he goes to a club and then see him face the harsh reality. Yes, some bigger guys do get action. But it's ridiculous to argue that how one looks physically makes no difference. The guys who are conventionally better looking will have more chance of action precisely because they are conventionally better looking (as being conventionally better looking means, by definition, more people will find you attractive). So, yes he could get action, but the chances are he won't, given the competition. Its much better, in my view, for him to be aware of that and makes his choices accordingly as opposed to going to a club with the false belief that he has much chance of a shag as any other bloke | |||
 | |||
"I have a dad bod, and am a regular at clubs. Just last night I was at BGHS in Brighton and was picked out by a couple to join them in a private room. I wasn't the slimmest, most toned, youngest or most well endowed guy there - but perhaps I had the 'look' they were after? You just never know how things are going to turn out at clubs, as so much depends on the vibe. I would always suggest going and trying a few clubs so long as you have an open mind and no expectations. You'll probably meet me! lol Say hi if you do! "I see discretion is very important to you  | |||
| |||
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'll have to tell you some uncomfortable truths
Whatever people may say here, at swingers clubs you will be judged on your looks. No matter how nice and chatty you are, if someone doesn't fancy you physically, they won't have sex with you.
If you go to the club on a single guy night and you are significantly larger than average than its not very likely you will get any action. That's because there will be a lot of completion and couples and women are likely to find slimmer guys attractive.
Now, if you are content to go to a club and just chat to people and not expect to have sex, that's fine. If you will get upset if people won't have sex with you then I would advise you strongly not to go.
I'm sorry if this appears harsh, but it's better to know the truth I think than be fed comforting nonsense.
Please don't judge the rest of us by your standards.
You may feel this way but many don't.
They're not "my standards" at all. They're a description of reality as I perceive it.
The OP appears to be quite a sensitive self conscious chap and I don't think it's doing him any favours to big up his hopes about what is likely to happen if he goes to a club and then see him face the harsh reality.
Yes, some bigger guys do get action. But it's ridiculous to argue that how one looks physically makes no difference. The guys who are conventionally better looking will have more chance of action precisely because they are conventionally better looking (as being conventionally better looking means, by definition, more people will find you attractive).
So, yes he could get action, but the chances are he won't, given the competition. Its much better, in my view, for him to be aware of that and makes his choices accordingly as opposed to going to a club with the false belief that he has much chance of a shag as any other bloke "You still seem to be missing the point that myself and some other posters are trying to make. You concentrate too much on looks when we're trying to get men to actually TALK to people in the club, use their personality rather than rely on looks and staring at people or following them in the hope of getting in on some action. I don't know what clubs you have been to, maybe the 'elitist' ones, where anyone above size 12 is not allowed in. It's your right, I'm not trying to argue you shouldn't go to elitist clubs if that's what you like. But in most 'normal' clubs, just because a man is an Adonis, God's gift to women/couples or whatever other adjectives they like to describe themselves, their chances of playing are not relying on pure looks only. | |||
"I have a dad bod, and am a regular at clubs. Just last night I was at BGHS in Brighton and was picked out by a couple to join them in a private room. I wasn't the slimmest, most toned, youngest or most well endowed guy there - but perhaps I had the 'look' they were after? You just never know how things are going to turn out at clubs, as so much depends on the vibe. I would always suggest going and trying a few clubs so long as you have an open mind and no expectations. You'll probably meet me! lol Say hi if you do!
I see discretion is very important to you " | |||
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'll have to tell you some uncomfortable truths
Whatever people may say here, at swingers clubs you will be judged on your looks. No matter how nice and chatty you are, if someone doesn't fancy you physically, they won't have sex with you.
If you go to the club on a single guy night and you are significantly larger than average than its not very likely you will get any action. That's because there will be a lot of completion and couples and women are likely to find slimmer guys attractive.
Now, if you are content to go to a club and just chat to people and not expect to have sex, that's fine. If you will get upset if people won't have sex with you then I would advise you strongly not to go.
I'm sorry if this appears harsh, but it's better to know the truth I think than be fed comforting nonsense.
Please don't judge the rest of us by your standards.
You may feel this way but many don't.
They're not "my standards" at all. They're a description of reality as I perceive it.
The OP appears to be quite a sensitive self conscious chap and I don't think it's doing him any favours to big up his hopes about what is likely to happen if he goes to a club and then see him face the harsh reality.
Yes, some bigger guys do get action. But it's ridiculous to argue that how one looks physically makes no difference. The guys who are conventionally better looking will have more chance of action precisely because they are conventionally better looking (as being conventionally better looking means, by definition, more people will find you attractive).
So, yes he could get action, but the chances are he won't, given the competition. Its much better, in my view, for him to be aware of that and makes his choices accordingly as opposed to going to a club with the false belief that he has much chance of a shag as any other bloke
You still seem to be missing the point that myself and some other posters are trying to make. You concentrate too much on looks when we're trying to get men to actually TALK to people in the club, use their personality rather than rely on looks and staring at people or following them in the hope of getting in on some action. I don't know what clubs you have been to, maybe the 'elitist' ones, where anyone above size 12 is not allowed in. It's your right, I'm not trying to argue you shouldn't go to elitist clubs if that's what you like. But in most 'normal' clubs, just because a man is an Adonis, God's gift to women/couples or whatever other adjectives they like to describe themselves, their chances of playing are not relying on pure looks only. "And you're missing my point. I agree that guys who act creepy won't get any action whatever they look like, but of the non creepy guys it is the ones who look conventionally attractive who will be more likely to get action. That's because more people will find them physically attractive (that being the definition of being conventionally attractive) and no matter how charming someone is if you don't find them physically attractive, you're not going to fuck them. | |||
| |||
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'll have to tell you some uncomfortable truths
Whatever people may say here, at swingers clubs you will be judged on your looks. No matter how nice and chatty you are, if someone doesn't fancy you physically, they won't have sex with you.
If you go to the club on a single guy night and you are significantly larger than average than its not very likely you will get any action. That's because there will be a lot of completion and couples and women are likely to find slimmer guys attractive.
Now, if you are content to go to a club and just chat to people and not expect to have sex, that's fine. If you will get upset if people won't have sex with you then I would advise you strongly not to go.
I'm sorry if this appears harsh, but it's better to know the truth I think than be fed comforting nonsense.
Please don't judge the rest of us by your standards.
You may feel this way but many don't.
They're not "my standards" at all. They're a description of reality as I perceive it.
The OP appears to be quite a sensitive self conscious chap and I don't think it's doing him any favours to big up his hopes about what is likely to happen if he goes to a club and then see him face the harsh reality.
Yes, some bigger guys do get action. But it's ridiculous to argue that how one looks physically makes no difference. The guys who are conventionally better looking will have more chance of action precisely because they are conventionally better looking (as being conventionally better looking means, by definition, more people will find you attractive).
So, yes he could get action, but the chances are he won't, given the competition. Its much better, in my view, for him to be aware of that and makes his choices accordingly as opposed to going to a club with the false belief that he has much chance of a shag as any other bloke
You still seem to be missing the point that myself and some other posters are trying to make. You concentrate too much on looks when we're trying to get men to actually TALK to people in the club, use their personality rather than rely on looks and staring at people or following them in the hope of getting in on some action. I don't know what clubs you have been to, maybe the 'elitist' ones, where anyone above size 12 is not allowed in. It's your right, I'm not trying to argue you shouldn't go to elitist clubs if that's what you like. But in most 'normal' clubs, just because a man is an Adonis, God's gift to women/couples or whatever other adjectives they like to describe themselves, their chances of playing are not relying on pure looks only.
And you're missing my point. I agree that guys who act creepy won't get any action whatever they look like, but of the non creepy guys it is the ones who look conventionally attractive who will be more likely to get action. That's because more people will find them physically attractive (that being the definition of being conventionally attractive) and no matter how charming someone is if you don't find them physically attractive, you're not going to fuck them. "But your assumption is that people won't a find a larger guy more attractive than a smaller guy, you really are missing the point that has been made. | |||
| |||
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'll have to tell you some uncomfortable truths
Whatever people may say here, at swingers clubs you will be judged on your looks. No matter how nice and chatty you are, if someone doesn't fancy you physically, they won't have sex with you.
If you go to the club on a single guy night and you are significantly larger than average than its not very likely you will get any action. That's because there will be a lot of completion and couples and women are likely to find slimmer guys attractive.
Now, if you are content to go to a club and just chat to people and not expect to have sex, that's fine. If you will get upset if people won't have sex with you then I would advise you strongly not to go.
I'm sorry if this appears harsh, but it's better to know the truth I think than be fed comforting nonsense.
Please don't judge the rest of us by your standards.
You may feel this way but many don't.
They're not "my standards" at all. They're a description of reality as I perceive it.
The OP appears to be quite a sensitive self conscious chap and I don't think it's doing him any favours to big up his hopes about what is likely to happen if he goes to a club and then see him face the harsh reality.
Yes, some bigger guys do get action. But it's ridiculous to argue that how one looks physically makes no difference. The guys who are conventionally better looking will have more chance of action precisely because they are conventionally better looking (as being conventionally better looking means, by definition, more people will find you attractive).
So, yes he could get action, but the chances are he won't, given the competition. Its much better, in my view, for him to be aware of that and makes his choices accordingly as opposed to going to a club with the false belief that he has much chance of a shag as any other bloke
You still seem to be missing the point that myself and some other posters are trying to make. You concentrate too much on looks when we're trying to get men to actually TALK to people in the club, use their personality rather than rely on looks and staring at people or following them in the hope of getting in on some action. I don't know what clubs you have been to, maybe the 'elitist' ones, where anyone above size 12 is not allowed in. It's your right, I'm not trying to argue you shouldn't go to elitist clubs if that's what you like. But in most 'normal' clubs, just because a man is an Adonis, God's gift to women/couples or whatever other adjectives they like to describe themselves, their chances of playing are not relying on pure looks only.
And you're missing my point. I agree that guys who act creepy won't get any action whatever they look like, but of the non creepy guys it is the ones who look conventionally attractive who will be more likely to get action. That's because more people will find them physically attractive (that being the definition of being conventionally attractive) and no matter how charming someone is if you don't find them physically attractive, you're not going to fuck them.
But your assumption is that people won't a find a larger guy more attractive than a smaller guy, you really are missing the point that has been made. "No, I'm saying that whilst some people might find the larger guy more attractive, most won't. That's because the majority will find the non large guy more attractive because he is more conventionally attractive and the definition of conventional attractiveness is what the majority finds attractive. Hence in answer to the OPs initial question, it's possible he could get some action but the odds will be against him. Its up to him whether he wants to risk the likelihood (though not certainty) of disappointment. | |||
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'll have to tell you some uncomfortable truths
Whatever people may say here, at swingers clubs you will be judged on your looks. No matter how nice and chatty you are, if someone doesn't fancy you physically, they won't have sex with you.
If you go to the club on a single guy night and you are significantly larger than average than its not very likely you will get any action. That's because there will be a lot of completion and couples and women are likely to find slimmer guys attractive.
Now, if you are content to go to a club and just chat to people and not expect to have sex, that's fine. If you will get upset if people won't have sex with you then I would advise you strongly not to go.
I'm sorry if this appears harsh, but it's better to know the truth I think than be fed comforting nonsense.
Please don't judge the rest of us by your standards.
You may feel this way but many don't.
They're not "my standards" at all. They're a description of reality as I perceive it.
The OP appears to be quite a sensitive self conscious chap and I don't think it's doing him any favours to big up his hopes about what is likely to happen if he goes to a club and then see him face the harsh reality.
Yes, some bigger guys do get action. But it's ridiculous to argue that how one looks physically makes no difference. The guys who are conventionally better looking will have more chance of action precisely because they are conventionally better looking (as being conventionally better looking means, by definition, more people will find you attractive).
So, yes he could get action, but the chances are he won't, given the competition. Its much better, in my view, for him to be aware of that and makes his choices accordingly as opposed to going to a club with the false belief that he has much chance of a shag as any other bloke
You still seem to be missing the point that myself and some other posters are trying to make. You concentrate too much on looks when we're trying to get men to actually TALK to people in the club, use their personality rather than rely on looks and staring at people or following them in the hope of getting in on some action. I don't know what clubs you have been to, maybe the 'elitist' ones, where anyone above size 12 is not allowed in. It's your right, I'm not trying to argue you shouldn't go to elitist clubs if that's what you like. But in most 'normal' clubs, just because a man is an Adonis, God's gift to women/couples or whatever other adjectives they like to describe themselves, their chances of playing are not relying on pure looks only.
And you're missing my point. I agree that guys who act creepy won't get any action whatever they look like, but of the non creepy guys it is the ones who look conventionally attractive who will be more likely to get action. That's because more people will find them physically attractive (that being the definition of being conventionally attractive) and no matter how charming someone is if you don't find them physically attractive, you're not going to fuck them.
But your assumption is that people won't a find a larger guy more attractive than a smaller guy, you really are missing the point that has been made.
No, I'm saying that whilst some people might find the larger guy more attractive, most won't. That's because the majority will find the non large guy more attractive because he is more conventionally attractive and the definition of conventional attractiveness is what the majority finds attractive.
Hence in answer to the OPs initial question, it's possible he could get some action but the odds will be against him. Its up to him whether he wants to risk the likelihood (though not certainty) of disappointment. "Says who! You comment this sort of stuff on loads of threads and you are nearly always disagreed with. You can't say he is any less likely to play at a club than anyone else. | |||
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'll have to tell you some uncomfortable truths
Whatever people may say here, at swingers clubs you will be judged on your looks. No matter how nice and chatty you are, if someone doesn't fancy you physically, they won't have sex with you.
If you go to the club on a single guy night and you are significantly larger than average than its not very likely you will get any action. That's because there will be a lot of completion and couples and women are likely to find slimmer guys attractive.
Now, if you are content to go to a club and just chat to people and not expect to have sex, that's fine. If you will get upset if people won't have sex with you then I would advise you strongly not to go.
I'm sorry if this appears harsh, but it's better to know the truth I think than be fed comforting nonsense.
Please don't judge the rest of us by your standards.
You may feel this way but many don't.
They're not "my standards" at all. They're a description of reality as I perceive it.
The OP appears to be quite a sensitive self conscious chap and I don't think it's doing him any favours to big up his hopes about what is likely to happen if he goes to a club and then see him face the harsh reality.
Yes, some bigger guys do get action. But it's ridiculous to argue that how one looks physically makes no difference. The guys who are conventionally better looking will have more chance of action precisely because they are conventionally better looking (as being conventionally better looking means, by definition, more people will find you attractive).
So, yes he could get action, but the chances are he won't, given the competition. Its much better, in my view, for him to be aware of that and makes his choices accordingly as opposed to going to a club with the false belief that he has much chance of a shag as any other bloke
You still seem to be missing the point that myself and some other posters are trying to make. You concentrate too much on looks when we're trying to get men to actually TALK to people in the club, use their personality rather than rely on looks and staring at people or following them in the hope of getting in on some action. I don't know what clubs you have been to, maybe the 'elitist' ones, where anyone above size 12 is not allowed in. It's your right, I'm not trying to argue you shouldn't go to elitist clubs if that's what you like. But in most 'normal' clubs, just because a man is an Adonis, God's gift to women/couples or whatever other adjectives they like to describe themselves, their chances of playing are not relying on pure looks only.
And you're missing my point. I agree that guys who act creepy won't get any action whatever they look like, but of the non creepy guys it is the ones who look conventionally attractive who will be more likely to get action. That's because more people will find them physically attractive (that being the definition of being conventionally attractive) and no matter how charming someone is if you don't find them physically attractive, you're not going to fuck them.
But your assumption is that people won't a find a larger guy more attractive than a smaller guy, you really are missing the point that has been made.
No, I'm saying that whilst some people might find the larger guy more attractive, most won't. That's because the majority will find the non large guy more attractive because he is more conventionally attractive and the definition of conventional attractiveness is what the majority finds attractive.
Hence in answer to the OPs initial question, it's possible he could get some action but the odds will be against him. Its up to him whether he wants to risk the likelihood (though not certainty) of disappointment.
Says who!
You comment this sort of stuff on loads of threads and you are nearly always disagreed with.
You can't say he is any less likely to play at a club than anyone else. "Yes I can. Its nonsense to say that significantly overweight guys are as likely to get as much action, other things being equal, as much action as guys who aren't significantly overweight. That's just a matter of basic observation. As I say I don't think it does any favours to people like the OP to feed him comforting illusions. | |||
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'll have to tell you some uncomfortable truths
Whatever people may say here, at swingers clubs you will be judged on your looks. No matter how nice and chatty you are, if someone doesn't fancy you physically, they won't have sex with you.
If you go to the club on a single guy night and you are significantly larger than average than its not very likely you will get any action. That's because there will be a lot of completion and couples and women are likely to find slimmer guys attractive.
Now, if you are content to go to a club and just chat to people and not expect to have sex, that's fine. If you will get upset if people won't have sex with you then I would advise you strongly not to go.
I'm sorry if this appears harsh, but it's better to know the truth I think than be fed comforting nonsense.
Please don't judge the rest of us by your standards.
You may feel this way but many don't.
They're not "my standards" at all. They're a description of reality as I perceive it.
The OP appears to be quite a sensitive self conscious chap and I don't think it's doing him any favours to big up his hopes about what is likely to happen if he goes to a club and then see him face the harsh reality.
Yes, some bigger guys do get action. But it's ridiculous to argue that how one looks physically makes no difference. The guys who are conventionally better looking will have more chance of action precisely because they are conventionally better looking (as being conventionally better looking means, by definition, more people will find you attractive).
So, yes he could get action, but the chances are he won't, given the competition. Its much better, in my view, for him to be aware of that and makes his choices accordingly as opposed to going to a club with the false belief that he has much chance of a shag as any other bloke
You still seem to be missing the point that myself and some other posters are trying to make. You concentrate too much on looks when we're trying to get men to actually TALK to people in the club, use their personality rather than rely on looks and staring at people or following them in the hope of getting in on some action. I don't know what clubs you have been to, maybe the 'elitist' ones, where anyone above size 12 is not allowed in. It's your right, I'm not trying to argue you shouldn't go to elitist clubs if that's what you like. But in most 'normal' clubs, just because a man is an Adonis, God's gift to women/couples or whatever other adjectives they like to describe themselves, their chances of playing are not relying on pure looks only.
And you're missing my point. I agree that guys who act creepy won't get any action whatever they look like, but of the non creepy guys it is the ones who look conventionally attractive who will be more likely to get action. That's because more people will find them physically attractive (that being the definition of being conventionally attractive) and no matter how charming someone is if you don't find them physically attractive, you're not going to fuck them.
But your assumption is that people won't a find a larger guy more attractive than a smaller guy, you really are missing the point that has been made.
No, I'm saying that whilst some people might find the larger guy more attractive, most won't. That's because the majority will find the non large guy more attractive because he is more conventionally attractive and the definition of conventional attractiveness is what the majority finds attractive.
Hence in answer to the OPs initial question, it's possible he could get some action but the odds will be against him. Its up to him whether he wants to risk the likelihood (though not certainty) of disappointment.
Says who!
You comment this sort of stuff on loads of threads and you are nearly always disagreed with.
You can't say he is any less likely to play at a club than anyone else.
Yes I can. Its nonsense to say that significantly overweight guys are as likely to get as much action, other things being equal, as much action as guys who aren't significantly overweight. That's just a matter of basic observation.
As I say I don't think it does any favours to people like the OP to feed him comforting illusions. "Again your assumption! OP don't let this guy put you off. Everyone has said if shouldn't be an issue. | |||
"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'll have to tell you some uncomfortable truths
Whatever people may say here, at swingers clubs you will be judged on your looks. No matter how nice and chatty you are, if someone doesn't fancy you physically, they won't have sex with you.
If you go to the club on a single guy night and you are significantly larger than average than its not very likely you will get any action. That's because there will be a lot of completion and couples and women are likely to find slimmer guys attractive.
Now, if you are content to go to a club and just chat to people and not expect to have sex, that's fine. If you will get upset if people won't have sex with you then I would advise you strongly not to go.
I'm sorry if this appears harsh, but it's better to know the truth I think than be fed comforting nonsense.
Please don't judge the rest of us by your standards.
You may feel this way but many don't.
They're not "my standards" at all. They're a description of reality as I perceive it.
The OP appears to be quite a sensitive self conscious chap and I don't think it's doing him any favours to big up his hopes about what is likely to happen if he goes to a club and then see him face the harsh reality.
Yes, some bigger guys do get action. But it's ridiculous to argue that how one looks physically makes no difference. The guys who are conventionally better looking will have more chance of action precisely because they are conventionally better looking (as being conventionally better looking means, by definition, more people will find you attractive).
So, yes he could get action, but the chances are he won't, given the competition. Its much better, in my view, for him to be aware of that and makes his choices accordingly as opposed to going to a club with the false belief that he has much chance of a shag as any other bloke
You still seem to be missing the point that myself and some other posters are trying to make. You concentrate too much on looks when we're trying to get men to actually TALK to people in the club, use their personality rather than rely on looks and staring at people or following them in the hope of getting in on some action. I don't know what clubs you have been to, maybe the 'elitist' ones, where anyone above size 12 is not allowed in. It's your right, I'm not trying to argue you shouldn't go to elitist clubs if that's what you like. But in most 'normal' clubs, just because a man is an Adonis, God's gift to women/couples or whatever other adjectives they like to describe themselves, their chances of playing are not relying on pure looks only.
And you're missing my point. I agree that guys who act creepy won't get any action whatever they look like, but of the non creepy guys it is the ones who look conventionally attractive who will be more likely to get action. That's because more people will find them physically attractive (that being the definition of being conventionally attractive) and no matter how charming someone is if you don't find them physically attractive, you're not going to fuck them.
But your assumption is that people won't a find a larger guy more attractive than a smaller guy, you really are missing the point that has been made.
No, I'm saying that whilst some people might find the larger guy more attractive, most won't. That's because the majority will find the non large guy more attractive because he is more conventionally attractive and the definition of conventional attractiveness is what the majority finds attractive.
Hence in answer to the OPs initial question, it's possible he could get some action but the odds will be against him. Its up to him whether he wants to risk the likelihood (though not certainty) of disappointment.
Says who!
You comment this sort of stuff on loads of threads and you are nearly always disagreed with.
You can't say he is any less likely to play at a club than anyone else.
Yes I can. Its nonsense to say that significantly overweight guys are as likely to get as much action, other things being equal, as much action as guys who aren't significantly overweight. That's just a matter of basic observation.
As I say I don't think it does any favours to people like the OP to feed him comforting illusions.
Again your assumption!
OP don't let this guy put you off. Everyone has said if shouldn't be an issue. "Everyone hasn't said that. But of course at the end of the day as to whose advice the OP takes. | |||
| |||
| |||
"I meant it is up to the OP as to whose advice he takes.. " Hopefully it's the majority. And the green arrow is very useful. | |||
| |||
"There are a lot of assertions being made by some people using words like 'significant' that I associate with statistics or data, but there's no data. There can't be data, when you think about it. Nobe of us really know why we fancy or don't fancy people, and to explain it we sometimes end up in the world of guesswork. I didn't know first time I saw ms Icebreaker on cam that they had a Ph D standard brain - although that's a huge part of why we do what we do. How could I know? Once we'd talked, we both knew more... Peoples choices tell you about nothing more than what they choose - if they opt to generalize from the specific and say 'I dont fancy you and most people won't either'they're only telling you about themselves. The rest is, in the jargon, normative bollocks. " BTW that was Mr Icebreaker posting... | |||
| |||
"I meant it is up to the OP as to whose advice he takes.. " Not blowing smoke but I thought your first response to this thread was spot on, sensible and fair advice. | |||
| |||
| |||
