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‘I can assure you that you are safe with me’

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

said no psych-Killer ever, honest.

Two weeks ago was the latest in a long line of men who think that phrases like those in the title will convince me to forego any safety precautions that would make them traceable to a third party.

I just don’t understand how any man in the 21st century can think it unreasonable for a woman to require some basic info about who they are before she rocks up to a 121 meet.

Yes, I generally meet in clubs and if not always have a social, but I really believe I shouldn’t need to be having convos PERSUADING men that it’s valid to want to protect myself...or ‘all that nonsense’ as the last guy said..

How do other women manage their safety?

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By *iker boy 69Man  over a year ago

midlands


"said no psych-Killer ever, honest.

Two weeks ago was the latest in a long line of men who think that phrases like those in the title will convince me to forego any safety precautions that would make them traceable to a third party.

I just don’t understand how any man in the 21st century can think it unreasonable for a woman to require some basic info about who they are before she rocks up to a 121 meet.

Yes, I generally meet in clubs and if not always have a social, but I really believe I shouldn’t need to be having convos PERSUADING men that it’s valid to want to protect myself...or ‘all that nonsense’ as the last guy said..

How do other women manage their safety?"

Youre right. You dont have to justify anything to anyone. If you want a social and theyre not willing, then they obviously have no respect for your wishes. Do whatever suits you, and no one else

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have my man to keep me safe so I don't worry about that side of things, but I would not do this by myself. The number of men who descended on my single female profile and the shocking things they said was scarey. I don't think the site does enough to give us protection.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I have my man to keep me safe so I don't worry about that side of things, but I would not do this by myself. The number of men who descended on my single female profile and the shocking things they said was scarey. I don't think the site does enough to give us protection. "

Interesting. I’m not sure how much they can do in reality without making themselves legally liable. But many men need to wake up to what they are requesting of women IMO. Many of the people I’ve had these convos with are about my age. I often wonder what they tell their daughters to do to protect their safety. I’m sure getting into strange men’s cars/houses to have sex without having any idea who they are or where you are going wouldn’t come into it, yet I have frequently been asked to do that.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple  over a year ago

London


"I have my man to keep me safe so I don't worry about that side of things, but I would not do this by myself. The number of men who descended on my single female profile and the shocking things they said was scarey. I don't think the site does enough to give us protection.

Interesting. I’m not sure how much they can do in reality without making themselves legally liable. But many men need to wake up to what they are requesting of women IMO. Many of the people I’ve had these convos with are about my age. I often wonder what they tell their daughters to do to protect their safety. I’m sure getting into strange men’s cars/houses to have sex without having any idea who they are or where you are going wouldn’t come into it, yet I have frequently been asked to do that."

Basically any woman who gets themselves alone in a private place with a man they don't really know is taking a risk. You can minimise that risk by having socials, requesting some form of ID etc, but the risk will always be there.

The only way to eliminate the risk entirely is to never meet anyone privately.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple  over a year ago

London

The problem of course is that most "single" men on here are attached in some way so don't want to leave any trail that could get back to their significant others.

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By *eeleyWoman  over a year ago

Dudley

I get this too when I say I only meet in clubs, they try to convince me by saying stuff like 'but we do know each other, we've been talking for abit', yes, for about 5 messages!

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By *eeleyWoman  over a year ago

Dudley


"I have my man to keep me safe so I don't worry about that side of things, but I would not do this by myself. The number of men who descended on my single female profile and the shocking things they said was scarey. I don't think the site does enough to give us protection. "

The site has no responsibility to keep you safe when you meet people.

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By *asteregg01Woman  over a year ago

Leeds


"said no psych-Killer ever, honest.

Two weeks ago was the latest in a long line of men who think that phrases like those in the title will convince me to forego any safety precautions that would make them traceable to a third party.

I just don’t understand how any man in the 21st century can think it unreasonable for a woman to require some basic info about who they are before she rocks up to a 121 meet.

Yes, I generally meet in clubs and if not always have a social, but I really believe I shouldn’t need to be having convos PERSUADING men that it’s valid to want to protect myself...or ‘all that nonsense’ as the last guy said..

How do other women manage their safety?"

Hi there R

As you know, I only meet in clubs now. Safer, and cuts out the timewasters. I go out as and when it suits ME.

Hope to run into you soon x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"said no psych-Killer ever, honest.

Two weeks ago was the latest in a long line of men who think that phrases like those in the title will convince me to forego any safety precautions that would make them traceable to a third party.

I just don’t understand how any man in the 21st century can think it unreasonable for a woman to require some basic info about who they are before she rocks up to a 121 meet.

Yes, I generally meet in clubs and if not always have a social, but I really believe I shouldn’t need to be having convos PERSUADING men that it’s valid to want to protect myself...or ‘all that nonsense’ as the last guy said..

How do other women manage their safety?"

I only ever meet at a specific club where I know people and have been going for ages. And my husband takes me there and back to make sure I'm safe.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I wouldn't do this alone. I think the people who do are very brave and some of them extremely naïve. It isn't just women who need to take adequate measures to ensure their safety, everyone should understand that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Women can be axe murderers too, if I was meeting someone new I'd insist on a social first

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By *icentiousCouple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills

It’s clubs all the way for us, there is the safety, they have resources and we have kids at home, only when we have met a couple of time and feel comfortable would we consider meeting somewhere more intimate.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple  over a year ago

London


"Women can be axe murderers too, if I was meeting someone new I'd insist on a social first "

Something like 98% of murderers are male. Hence the risk is much greater if you're meeting men.

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By *landfordfabbersCouple  over a year ago

Blandford ish


"The problem of course is that most "single" men on here are attached in some way so don't want to leave any trail that could get back to their significant others. "
exactly what I was thinking

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Women can be axe murderers too, if I was meeting someone new I'd insist on a social first "

Yep but the very few women I’ve met 121 have never been awkward about safety measures, unsurprisingly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It’s clubs all the way for us, there is the safety, they have resources and we have kids at home, only when we have met a couple of time and feel comfortable would we consider meeting somewhere more intimate."

And there’s two of you..

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By *uited staffs guyMan  over a year ago

staffordshire

Some women I’ve met like to meet at hotels for that traceability/safety aspect

Others if they want me to pick them up text their mate before they get it including number plate etc

Whatever makes them feel safe should be fine if you’re genuine

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It’s clubs all the way for us, there is the safety, they have resources and we have kids at home, only when we have met a couple of time and feel comfortable would we consider meeting somewhere more intimate.

And there’s two of you.."

Although I reckon I could take Mrs L if it came to it..

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Some women I’ve met like to meet at hotels for that traceability/safety aspect

Others if they want me to pick them up text their mate before they get it including number plate etc

Whatever makes them feel safe should be fine if you’re genuine "

Exactly. Not ‘Oh no, not all this nonsense..’ as a response..

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By *andKBCouple  over a year ago

Plymouth

We get surprised by the amount of unverified folk who seem shirty when we want to see photos, know names, etc.

Even as a couple we have to think of our safety. Especially as most of our meets involve around an hours travel or more.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The problem of course is that most "single" men on here are attached in some way so don't want to leave any trail that could get back to their significant others. "

Well all the more reason to insist on it! If they get caught then they would definitely deserve it!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Always have a social first and I tell my fab friend who I’m meeting. I was naive when I first joined and had a spontaneous meet which led to me being assaulted so I’m very careful now and far more selective with who I meet.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We get surprised by the amount of unverified folk who seem shirty when we want to see photos, know names, etc.

Even as a couple we have to think of our safety. Especially as most of our meets involve around an hours travel or more.

"

same here verified and unverified too sadly

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By *cloversCouple  over a year ago

Hull


"We get surprised by the amount of unverified folk who seem shirty when we want to see photos, know names, etc.

Even as a couple we have to think of our safety. Especially as most of our meets involve around an hours travel or more.

"

Same here..just because we're a couple doesn't mean we should take our safety any less seriously!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I really hope that this thread will make a few of those ‘shirty’ people think twice...

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By *ndrew CareyMan  over a year ago

Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire


"said no psych-Killer ever, honest.

Two weeks ago was the latest in a long line of men who think that phrases like those in the title will convince me to forego any safety precautions that would make them traceable to a third party.

I just don’t understand how any man in the 21st century can think it unreasonable for a woman to require some basic info about who they are before she rocks up to a 121 meet.

Yes, I generally meet in clubs and if not always have a social, but I really believe I shouldn’t need to be having convos PERSUADING men that it’s valid to want to protect myself...or ‘all that nonsense’ as the last guy said..

How do other women manage their safety?"

Safety is paramount and one we should never take for granted.

I thankfully have not had any "cause for concern" on fab but I take precautions as well. Especially with couples.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

As a single male I am not sure if my suggestion carries any

weight on this thread.

If you want to meet exclusively in clubs that is fine.

If you want to meet men

in one to one situations look for those who can accommodate.

If he cannot accommodate after stating he can on his profile, move on.

If he has a problem with you texting a mate, again move on.

Just keep in mind single men will also need reassurance that they are not dealing with time wasters but anyone refusing reasonable safety measures is best avoided.

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By *andKBCouple  over a year ago

Plymouth


"We get surprised by the amount of unverified folk who seem shirty when we want to see photos, know names, etc.

Even as a couple we have to think of our safety. Especially as most of our meets involve around an hours travel or more.

same here verified and unverified too sadly "

Weve noticed more and more some fake veris or what we suspect to be fake. Same person verified them a number of times but that profile is hidden. Or those who havent got a veri newer than about 4 years. Particularly couples they couldve split.

We had what we THINK was a fake profile a while back. She had a profile full of photos and even sent videos. But chatting I sensed it was a male. Constant sex chatter, very pushy, etc

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By *ubeeStarrXoXTV/TS  over a year ago

Leeds

How do other women manage their safety?

Personally I think they should keep that information to themselves so they arent giving anyone a heads up on how they keep themselves safe xx

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman  over a year ago

all loved up

I am always getting people trying to convince me to meet outside of clubs

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By *uited staffs guyMan  over a year ago

staffordshire


"As a single male I am not sure if my suggestion carries any

weight on this thread.

If you want to meet exclusively in clubs that is fine.

If you want to meet men

in one to one situations look for those who can accommodate.

If he cannot accommodate after stating he can on his profile, move on.

If he has a problem with you texting a mate, again move on.

Just keep in mind single men will also need reassurance that they are not dealing with time wasters but anyone refusing reasonable safety measures is best avoided.

"

Being able to accommodate If they’re not a safe person to be alone with isn’t a help really given you’re in their house

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"How do other women manage their safety?

Personally I think they should keep that information to themselves so they arent giving anyone a heads up on how they keep themselves safe xx"

Which is why I was asking in general rather than specific terms. I don’t you’re post is particularly helpful tbh.

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By *ubeeStarrXoXTV/TS  over a year ago

Leeds


"How do other women manage their safety?

Personally I think they should keep that information to themselves so they arent giving anyone a heads up on how they keep themselves safe xx

Which is why I was asking in general rather than specific terms. I don’t you’re post is particularly helpful tbh."

Was just saying...... didn't mean anything by it

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"As a single male I am not sure if my suggestion carries any

weight on this thread.

If you want to meet exclusively in clubs that is fine.

If you want to meet men

in one to one situations look for those who can accommodate.

If he cannot accommodate after stating he can on his profile, move on.

If he has a problem with you texting a mate, again move on.

Just keep in mind single men will also need reassurance that they are not dealing with time wasters but anyone refusing reasonable safety measures is best avoided.

Being able to accommodate If they’re not a safe person to be alone with isn’t a help really given you’re in their house "

If you read my comment in full I also mentioned reasonable safety measures as in texting a friend to tell them where you are.

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By *icentiousCouple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"It’s clubs all the way for us, there is the safety, they have resources and we have kids at home, only when we have met a couple of time and feel comfortable would we consider meeting somewhere more intimate.

And there’s two of you..

Although I reckon I could take Mrs L if it came to it.. "

Ha ha, she might be the size of a Jack Russel, however, he also carries the temperament of one at times.

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By *icentiousCouple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"It’s clubs all the way for us, there is the safety, they have resources and we have kids at home, only when we have met a couple of time and feel comfortable would we consider meeting somewhere more intimate.

And there’s two of you..

Although I reckon I could take Mrs L if it came to it..

Ha ha, she might be the size of a Jack Russel, however, he also carries the temperament of one at times.

"

And you didn’t put Jacks down badger holes for no reason.

May I point out, no badges were ever harmed, it was purely a metaphor...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"How do other women manage their safety?

Personally I think they should keep that information to themselves so they arent giving anyone a heads up on how they keep themselves safe xx

Which is why I was asking in general rather than specific terms. I don’t you’re post is particularly helpful tbh.

Was just saying...... didn't mean anything by it"

Well you are right, but no one on this post has been very specific so it didn’t really need saying.

Have you had problems dealing with others who won’t respect your need for safety measures? Do you have other things to say on the issue?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It’s clubs all the way for us, there is the safety, they have resources and we have kids at home, only when we have met a couple of time and feel comfortable would we consider meeting somewhere more intimate.

And there’s two of you..

Although I reckon I could take Mrs L if it came to it..

Ha ha, she might be the size of a Jack Russel, however, he also carries the temperament of one at times.

And you didn’t put Jacks down badger holes for no reason.

May I point out, no badges were ever harmed, it was purely a metaphor... "

Well I hope we never get to test these theories..

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By *oft_SensualTV/TS  over a year ago

Yorkshire

There's a good video on personal safety on the internet from Clint Emmerson, a former Navy Seal.

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By *andKBCouple  over a year ago

Plymouth

I have a single friend who usually let's me know where she is or if someone is going to her place. And she'll let me know shes safe, etc. She lives five minutes from me so if I get concerned I can just show up

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

If I met a lady I’d expect her to have told a third party who she was meeting and where and what the plans were and to send a I’m ok text when she wanted.

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

If they’re not prepared to chat shit to me for weeks where i can get a whiff of their personality, and then meet me for a social in a public place, then we don’t meet.

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By *olden RatioWoman  over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

When I meet someone (whether it be a date, social, play date... anything meeting a stranger alone) I share my location with my best friends on our whatsapp group. I also keep in touch on the regular to let them know everything is ok.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/20 19:54:05]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"When I meet someone (whether it be a date, social, play date... anything meeting a stranger alone) I share my location with my best friends on our whatsapp group. I also keep in touch on the regular to let them know everything is ok."

This makes perfect sense.

No genuine guy would take issue with this.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I really hope that this thread will make a few of those ‘shirty’ people think twice..."

Sadly, I think that even if they bothered to read a thread like this, most would not consider that it applied to them. They know they are safe to meet....

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple  over a year ago

kent

Everyone should be able to ask for safety precautions from the people they meet, men and women. If a potential meet takes issue with any of your criteria, don’t meet them. It’s as simple as that. Feeling safe with another person takes time, it requires trust. And such things aren’t built in just a few messages.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I stay local! I have had a couple of meets I'd rather not repeat and I couldn't wait to get home, even 3/4 miles felt far enough. The only time I will travel now is if I'm going to a club as a couple.

It's too risky out there. If they don't come to me, or they aren't local we won't be meeting

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Everyone should be able to ask for safety precautions from the people they meet, men and women. If a potential meet takes issue with any of your criteria, don’t meet them. It’s as simple as that. Feeling safe with another person takes time, it requires trust. And such things aren’t built in just a few messages. "

This. If someone doesn't take the time you need to thoroughly check them out to feel safe then don't pursue anything. Keep yourself safe always.

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By *ohnjones3210Man  over a year ago

Chester

A few months ago, I had a social meet with a lady in wetherspoons. She asked me to meet her!

She was safety conscious after 6 weeks of chatting. I have no problems with women being safety conscious, but sometimes it can come across as offensive, rude and off-putting - especially when she is the asker.

Anyway, about 15 minutes before I arrived at the place, she started freaking out, messaging me, asking for my full name, ID, etc. My full name? ID? It's not as if I was using an alias, it was from tinder! She knew my name already from weeks of chats! Then she asked for a pic and started saying weird things. Implying that she was originally chatting with me, but that I could send some other guy to meet her or something weird.

Because I was driving, I couldn't reply. She started going off on one, saying I was fake, etc. "Now you won't reply all of a sudden...", Etc. Phone going off as I'm driving 70mph down the dual carriageway.

I pulled over whenever it was safe and said, are you ok? what on earth is going on? Etc... Then she said that I could now be fake, etc. I said what on earth do you need name and pic for?!? You have my name and pics. What is going on? I explained that I was driving...

It just pissed me off, and it ruined the night.

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By *emini ManMan  over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I *always* offer any information a meet requires before a meet, including my mobile number, car reg and full name or anything else they want to know - I also fully expect them to have a 'safety person' to text/call and if I remember will ask them if they need to make that call about 30 mins or so into a meet.

It's basic common sense, courtesy and respect and anyone that can't show that and understand why the person they are meeting would want that information is frankly not worth meeting, regardless of their gender.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Everyone should be able to ask for safety precautions from the people they meet, men and women. If a potential meet takes issue with any of your criteria, don’t meet them. It’s as simple as that. Feeling safe with another person takes time, it requires trust. And such things aren’t built in just a few messages. "

Absolutely. I am flabbergasted at how many think their verbal assurance that it’ll be fine makes ANY difference to me at all. Cos the psychos NEVER reassure their victims....

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By *entleman JayMan  over a year ago

Wakefield


"The problem of course is that most "single" men on here are attached in some way so don't want to leave any trail that could get back to their significant others. "

I’m not sure most are but some are.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Not just on here but when I was on Tinder, always met in a public place. Sent a pic of the person I was meeting with name, age, time and place of meet to a friend/relative. Make a call or send a text after a certain amount of time to let them know I was okay. Always met in a place I was comfortable in, that I knew how to get home from etc

S x

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By *pril86Woman  over a year ago

chester

I always insist on a social first and at a public place I always tell a mate where I’m going and postcode and times ect. If I do venture anywhere else I call and tell her. I wouldn’t be giving out my full name and address ect to a guy I’ve never met he could turn into a stalker.

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By *pril86Woman  over a year ago

chester


"The problem of course is that most "single" men on here are attached in some way so don't want to leave any trail that could get back to their significant others.

I’m not sure most are but some are. "

Agreed!

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple  over a year ago

kent


"Everyone should be able to ask for safety precautions from the people they meet, men and women. If a potential meet takes issue with any of your criteria, don’t meet them. It’s as simple as that. Feeling safe with another person takes time, it requires trust. And such things aren’t built in just a few messages.

Absolutely. I am flabbergasted at how many think their verbal assurance that it’ll be fine makes ANY difference to me at all. Cos the psychos NEVER reassure their victims...."

Unfortunately we live in a world where a person’s word has no initial value. Sincerity is a rare quality, and when your initial interaction comes via messages, you simply have no clue who a person really is. It’s only when you meet, when look them in the eyes and feel their presence, can all your other senses and instincts come into play, and of course by then you’re already at risk. Fab is worse than other places, because many of us feel the need to protect our privacy as well. Finding the right balance of openness and protection is tricky, even when you’re a genuine person and your intentions are honorable. I wouldn’t meet anyone who doesn’t understand this. It’s why basic communication is essential. It’s why we as a couple, and I as a solo guy, take a while to meet, and why it’s always a social in a public place first.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I meet at my place as and when I'm comfortable enough to invite them here. I've never had any dangerous experiences. I don't meet until someone has made the effort to build some trust with me, if they don't then I don't meet them at all. Smart guys realise this is for their benefit too and understand that they don't know what they'll be walking into and they appreciate taking some time to establish I'm not a psycho hose beast

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By *sm265Woman  over a year ago

Shangri-la

So many times I've been told "I'm a nice guy, you'll be safe with me" & they really don't like it when I'm not prepared to just take their word for it. I find it's actually a pretty good filter, if they don't take my safety concerns seriously at the messaging stage then I won't meet them at all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Everyone should be able to ask for safety precautions from the people they meet, men and women. If a potential meet takes issue with any of your criteria, don’t meet them. It’s as simple as that. Feeling safe with another person takes time, it requires trust. And such things aren’t built in just a few messages.

Absolutely. I am flabbergasted at how many think their verbal assurance that it’ll be fine makes ANY difference to me at all. Cos the psychos NEVER reassure their victims....

Unfortunately we live in a world where a person’s word has no initial value. Sincerity is a rare quality, and when your initial interaction comes via messages, you simply have no clue who a person really is. It’s only when you meet, when look them in the eyes and feel their presence, can all your other senses and instincts come into play, and of course by then you’re already at risk. Fab is worse than other places, because many of us feel the need to protect our privacy as well. Finding the right balance of openness and protection is tricky, even when you’re a genuine person and your intentions are honorable. I wouldn’t meet anyone who doesn’t understand this. It’s why basic communication is essential. It’s why we as a couple, and I as a solo guy, take a while to meet, and why it’s always a social in a public place first. "

Well put. Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So many times I've been told "I'm a nice guy, you'll be safe with me" & they really don't like it when I'm not prepared to just take their word for it. I find it's actually a pretty good filter, if they don't take my safety concerns seriously at the messaging stage then I won't meet them at all. "

And it indicates that, even if they’re not psycho body butchers, they’re not going to respond to any other of your needs, sexually or otherwise.

In fact after a nasty experience with a meet from here, any sense that the person isn’t attending to my needs (time to get ready, helping find parking, clear directions to their location) and I bail. If you’re not interested in taking the trouble to host me well then the sex isn’t likely to be good for me. You’re already not listening.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

There’s been some great contributions to this thread. Thank you!

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By *isstinseltoesWoman  over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Always a social first and Jack would know where and who i meet.

Those who won't do a social i just cut contact with .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If it doesn't feel right don't do it, don't go there. I've cancelled on a meet with a couple once as they were evasive about giving their address (meet was arranged at theirs). They suggested to meet at a place nearby and go from there.

Erm...no thanks, that's 2 against 1 with nobody else knowing exactly where I am. I may have missed out on a great meet but it's not worth risking it.

Mrs

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"There’s been some great contributions to this thread. Thank you!"

It’s not really a serious issue for men so men need to try to think about it all from a ladies point of view.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple  over a year ago

kent


"There’s been some great contributions to this thread. Thank you!

It’s not really a serious issue for men so men need to try to think about it all from a ladies point of view. "

I think everyone should have respect for another person’s concerns. Consideration goes both ways.

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By *ohnjones3210Man  over a year ago

Chester

[Removed by poster at 26/01/20 21:15:10]

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By *ohnjones3210Man  over a year ago

Chester


"There’s been some great contributions to this thread. Thank you!

It’s not really a serious issue for men so men need to try to think about it all from a ladies point of view. "

I'm definitely cautious, some people are mental - male and female. One of my male friends got unlucky with a meet one time and has a scar on his abdomen to prove it. :O

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Men are at risk, too, and sadly a number have been attacked or murdered in this country after meeting on dating apps. And what about the single guy going to a woman's house only to find her bruiser husband's there, too. Everyone must be careful.

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By *icentiousCouple  over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Made me think this.

First ever meet I had, the lady said, ‘I want your registration number where we meet and I will tell my friends where I am’.

At first I was concerned about confidentiality, then it came clear about safety.

I haven’t played alone for ages. I would now ask a partner to set up a safety scenario.

It makes things more relaxed and fun.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Made me think this.

First ever meet I had, the lady said, ‘I want your registration number where we meet and I will tell my friends where I am’.

At first I was concerned about confidentiality, then it came clear about safety.

I haven’t played alone for ages. I would now ask a partner to set up a safety scenario.

It makes things more relaxed and fun."

Exactly. If you trust me with the essentials to keep me safe, I trust you more. If you won’t give me the info then you clearly don’t trust me, and therefore I’m unable to trust you. Which doesn’t make for good sex, particularly D/s play. Ironically, it’s mainly D/s players with whom I’ve had these issues.

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By *ittleAcornMan  over a year ago

visiting the beach

I wonder if a "personal contact" app has been built using block chain yet?

That would be a good, confidential, yet secure way to exchange identity details.

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By *ittleAcornMan  over a year ago

visiting the beach


"I wonder if a "personal contact" app has been built using block chain yet?

That would be a good, confidential, yet secure way to exchange identity details.

"

Should have Googled first. There appears to be a few. I might have a look into this.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple  over a year ago

Leicestershire

The hardest thing to overcome to meet any lady. We have plenty of veri's.

We just say however you want to meet. Public place, video chat though that's not our thing, social first, third party knowledge, social with a friend aswell, we know we are genuine so have nothing to hide and will except whatever precautions a lady wants to take.

Anything else and personally I'd advise a lady to find others to meet.

Even with all that it's not easy to meet single ladies on here.

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By *hadow KingsCouple (MM)  over a year ago

Birmingham


"I have my man to keep me safe so I don't worry about that side of things, but I would not do this by myself. The number of men who descended on my single female profile and the shocking things they said was scarey. I don't think the site does enough to give us protection.

Interesting. I’m not sure how much they can do in reality without making themselves legally liable. But many men need to wake up to what they are requesting of women IMO. Many of the people I’ve had these convos with are about my age. I often wonder what they tell their daughters to do to protect their safety. I’m sure getting into strange men’s cars/houses to have sex without having any idea who they are or where you are going wouldn’t come into it, yet I have frequently been asked to do that.

Basically any woman who gets themselves alone in a private place with a man they don't really know is taking a risk. You can minimise that risk by having socials, requesting some form of ID etc, but the risk will always be there.

The only way to eliminate the risk entirely is to never meet anyone privately. "

The same thing can be applied to men. False accusations are real. Happened to me with a women I didn't even sleep with on fab when I went to a club. Accused me and tried to get me kicked out cuz she didn't like me. Owner pulled me to the side and said don't worry, she is a known bullshitter. You're safe.

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By *hadow KingsCouple (MM)  over a year ago

Birmingham


"Men are at risk, too, and sadly a number have been attacked or murdered in this country after meeting on dating apps. And what about the single guy going to a woman's house only to find her bruiser husband's there, too. Everyone must be careful."

That's true. On a dating app I met this girl, ok she was and by third date went back to her place. She was a foreigner. We were having sex and she said something in her language... I thought she was saying oh god or something in her native tongue and the next second another girl comes out with a knife saying give us money.

It's not just women that have to be careful.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

At what point though are you required to relinquinsh your privacy for something you want? It's a common question that gets asked in every area of life these days and we are taught to value privacy above all.

These days someone knowing your phone number is enough to find you on Facebook, etc. Someone knowing your name or address is able to search your company details and the like.

I prefer a double blind. Club or hotel. Both parties can tell their friends exactly where they'll be. The hotel room is linked to the bookers name and there's usually CCTV.

I wouldn't allow someone I'm meeting for sex to photograph my drivers license, I mostlydont meet at home and don't meet at their homes either. Once went to meet a lady in her house and she had 2 other burly looking men around. One in the kitchen and another lounging on the sofa in the living room. That shits scary.

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By *averockrockMan  over a year ago

swindon

Meet at a club or public place for a social first, then have a phone with you all the time that can be used if not feeling safe.

At the end of the day, through fab or not, meeting somebody could be risky. The only way to be 100% secure is to not meet.

It’s like STI, the only way to be 100% sure to be immune is abstinence.

Can we live with abstinence? I can’t so I will risk to meet people but in a sfae manner as explained before!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman  over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

If anyone said that to me it would worry me even more.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The trouble is a lot of men see this Fab as a place to get free sex, they done see it as a Swinging place where you get to know people, make friends and then have sex.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman  over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"The trouble is a lot of men see this Fab as a place to get free sex, they done see it as a Swinging place where you get to know people, make friends and then have sex."

Spot on.

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