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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Can anyone tell me if there's an etiquette for single, in this case straight, guys wanting to go to a Swingers club like The Attic in Derby?
I have a playing partner but she wants me to go first to see what it's like! Not that I think I'll be complaining but don't want to look too much like a lemon! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well you just wander around and have a look.. and play if you want.. dont if you dont..
When you planning on going as I hear this weekend its going to be quite busy as there is a vicars and tarts party 
I have been now 4 times.. and had a great time every time..
Cali |
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don't just smile at people, walk up and introduce yourself, even tell them its your first visit. people are very sociable and friendly, but if they don't want to chat they'll move on.
don't assume that chatting translates to play, but if someone says 'will we see you upstairs later' it might mean more...
i get fed up of the wallflowers who spend all night trying to catch my eye then blush and look away when they do! the worst part is they usually mail me the next day to tell me i looked nice! 
oh, and don't forget that many couples are very strongly bonded and will be very offended if you a) only talk to her or b) only talk to him but with your eyes on her cleavage at all times...
people may be very scantily clad but its far nicer to get 'may i say that i love your outfit, you look great' then to get drooled on as someone asks your friend what team he supports. 
so don't be shy, but also don't push yourself in, don't be one of the towel fumblers, wandering round till you find something you like the look of and fumbling under your towel...
if you'd like an invite try to make eye contact with one or more of the participants. this is where the earlier chat stands you in good stead, you are far more more likely to get beckoned in if you've had prior contact. if you don't get an invite, give the players space and room and if you do play with yourself do it consideratly.
and though you may have lots of great conversations there may be all kinds of reason why someone isn't interested, but treat it like a friendly local and you'll make good friends and get good advice and tips and contacts.
good luck, hope you have fun
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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago
oldbury |
Everythign tempting said and there are a few guys and couples who could do with reading that poor social skills are the works the guys who cant speak to you but expect to play because they are the only ones stood there watching you as they fumble under towel they are the most annoying ones along with the benny hill type followers (who its kinda fun to tease) who will follow you all night as you move from room to room. Dont be one of these and you will be fine |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"well you just wander around and have a look.. and play if you want.. dont if you dont..
When you planning on going as I hear this weekend its going to be quite busy as there is a vicars and tarts party
I have been now 4 times.. and had a great time every time..
Cali "
Planning on going as soon as I can as I really want my playmate to be there too as it's something we've always talked about...just need to grow some and man up but nervous as hell as a noob!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Wow, thanks tempting...thats an awesome post...same old situation where you're new to something and most others have been before.
Guess once you're involved chatting/playing you get into the "swing" of it (nervous humour!!) 
Can I ask a follow up to all...what time would people say it is best to go for a new single guy? Early or when things are getting going later? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you going to the attic we'd say from 9.30 is the best time to get there things start to pick up then, yes it's great club for first time single guys. Just be yourself chat to others and have fun  .
Sits on coffin  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you going to the attic we'd say from 9.30 is the best time to get there things start to pick up then, yes it's great club for first time single guys. Just be yourself chat to others and have fun .
Sits on coffin "
Thx for the tip...I would say look out for me as I'll stick out but I expect there a lot of that going on |
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Well Tempting that is one of the most informative posts I've read in a while on any swinger web site.
I have some swinger friends in Atlanta, USA whom are a couple and I once asked her how they, as a couple. chose single guys to join them in a club situation.
Her shortened version was very similar to what you have said. |
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just some random thoughts from my club visits - we were all newbies once!
Thank you, that is perfect.