FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Abusive messages
Abusive messages
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"This trend is picking up again with the single guys, latest one wishing me to get HIV. To far leaves me to think only a minute percentage of guys on here are worth talking to. "
Outrageous on many levels. Sorry you are getting these.
As said further up in thread. Block and report. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This trend is picking up again with the single guys, latest one wishing me to get HIV. To far leaves me to think only a minute percentage of guys on here are worth talking to. "
Weve had a very similar message recently too |
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"This trend is picking up again with the single guys, latest one wishing me to get HIV. To far leaves me to think only a minute percentage of guys on here are worth talking to. "
This kind of shit, just makes it harder for us gen guys to get to meet and have fun ... it a general trait in life, the knob heads fuck it up for the gen ppl ... hope I’m on yr list of guys worth talking too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This trend is picking up again with the single guys, latest one wishing me to get HIV. To far leaves me to think only a minute percentage of guys on here are worth talking to.
Weve had a very similar message recently too"
Probably a troll |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This trend is picking up again with the single guys, latest one wishing me to get HIV. To far leaves me to think only a minute percentage of guys on here are worth talking to. "
no excuse for abuse but please dont go down the usual route of describing all men in the same vein    |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We got most abusive messages after sending polite thanks but no thanks messages so we stopped bothering replying to people we not interested in meeting "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This trend is picking up again with the single guys, latest one wishing me to get HIV. To far leaves me to think only a minute percentage of guys on here are worth talking to. "
Arseholes sending messagesike that are the ones who make it harder for genuine guys block and report the creep x |
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"This trend is picking up again with the single guys, latest one wishing me to get HIV. To far leaves me to think only a minute percentage of guys on here are worth talking to. "
Omg that's horrific !!
Don't tell me, you were gorgeous until you said no to him ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had one charmer who told me the only reason I wanted a threesome was because A obviously wasn't satisfying me in bed. Then he gave me a whole pile of other crap about stuff.
Blocked and deleted. Only ever reported one guy who was using a fake profile and trying to coerce his partner into group sex...that one made me furious |
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"We got most abusive messages after sending polite thanks but no thanks messages so we stopped bothering replying to people we not interested in meeting
This "
This is bad that people who are polite and even wanted to reply just to say "no thanks" are forced not to reply .
All those who you report , do you get any follow up from admin on what happened after?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s been relentless this week for abusive messages, To the point where I considered deleting my account. I know the people who send these messages would never be so brave as to say anything that they type to my face and it’s all bravado because they are hidden behind a screen but sometimes it just gets to you. |
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"We got most abusive messages after sending polite thanks but no thanks messages so we stopped bothering replying to people we not interested in meeting
This
This is bad that people who are polite and even wanted to reply just to say "no thanks" are forced not to reply .
All those who you report , do you get any follow up from admin on what happened after?
"
we didnt hear anything about the guy who threatened to kick me with a steel toe cap boot after calling me every name under the sun. we also know he had two accounts and as far as we could see both are still active |
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"It’s been relentless this week for abusive messages, To the point where I considered deleting my account. I know the people who send these messages would never be so brave as to say anything that they type to my face and it’s all bravado because they are hidden behind a screen but sometimes it just gets to you. "
That's another sad thing .
People forced out by bullies from their own playground |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We got most abusive messages after sending polite thanks but no thanks messages so we stopped bothering replying to people we not interested in meeting
This
This is bad that people who are polite and even wanted to reply just to say "no thanks" are forced not to reply .
All those who you report , do you get any follow up from admin on what happened after?
"
Never. |
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By *iliciousCouple
over a year ago
Sussex/Surrey |
"It’s been relentless this week for abusive messages, To the point where I considered deleting my account. I know the people who send these messages would never be so brave as to say anything that they type to my face and it’s all bravado because they are hidden behind a screen but sometimes it just gets to you. "
——————-
If we assume that most come from single males, why don’t you just block them? We have them blocked, and if we want to look for a single male we do just that - look.
Really cannot see why this is such a problem. |
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"We got most abusive messages after sending polite thanks but no thanks messages so we stopped bothering replying to people we not interested in meeting
This
This is bad that people who are polite and even wanted to reply just to say "no thanks" are forced not to reply .
All those who you report , do you get any follow up from admin on what happened after?
we didnt hear anything about the guy who threatened to kick me with a steel toe cap boot after calling me every name under the sun. we also know he had two accounts and as far as we could see both are still active"
I might not be here as long as some of you didn't experience much abuse besides some keyboard gangster on the forum , but that's one person Vs a great warm welcome on here.
I have a problem with authority , especially one that is not doing the job entrusted to do
Don't get much feeling admins do enough to stop this.
Block button , ban are not the answer , they will be back.
I have a few ideas how to improve few things but don't know if an email to admin will do it or just get ignored .
Or do we need to excersie some pressure together as users on a public post ?
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s been relentless this week for abusive messages, To the point where I considered deleting my account. I know the people who send these messages would never be so brave as to say anything that they type to my face and it’s all bravado because they are hidden behind a screen but sometimes it just gets to you.
——————-
If we assume that most come from single males, why don’t you just block them? We have them blocked, and if we want to look for a single male we do just that - look.
Really cannot see why this is such a problem."
Good for you for having thicker skin than me. And I do block them, that isn’t the point though. The point is that these people feel they have the right to send vile, abusive messages with absolutely no thought behind them purely because they are being turned down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Set your message filters to maximum, kinda stopped all the harassment for us."
That's the logical thing to do, yet hardly anyone does it!
These kind of threads keep popping up on the forums! The really simple solution is to block everyone and choose who you message.
I accept you are not going to get the massive ego boost of logging into an inbox of 100 messages all saying how gorgeous you are, but what's the point if you will delete them all anyway? I'm not referring to you, OP, btw, and I appreciate its a generalisation.
Abuse is abuse and shouldn't be tolerated.
xN |
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"It’s been relentless this week for abusive messages, To the point where I considered deleting my account. I know the people who send these messages would never be so brave as to say anything that they type to my face and it’s all bravado because they are hidden behind a screen but sometimes it just gets to you.
——————-
If we assume that most come from single males, why don’t you just block them? We have them blocked, and if we want to look for a single male we do just that - look.
Really cannot see why this is such a problem.
Good for you for having thicker skin than me. And I do block them, that isn’t the point though. The point is that these people feel they have the right to send vile, abusive messages with absolutely no thought behind them purely because they are being turned down. "
I think the right they give themselves is only boosted by the lack of consequences they might face.
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"We got most abusive messages after sending polite thanks but no thanks messages so we stopped bothering replying to people we not interested in meeting
This
This is bad that people who are polite and even wanted to reply just to say "no thanks" are forced not to reply .
All those who you report , do you get any follow up from admin on what happened after?
we didnt hear anything about the guy who threatened to kick me with a steel toe cap boot after calling me every name under the sun. we also know he had two accounts and as far as we could see both are still active
I might not be here as long as some of you didn't experience much abuse besides some keyboard gangster on the forum , but that's one person Vs a great warm welcome on here.
I have a problem with authority , especially one that is not doing the job entrusted to do
Don't get much feeling admins do enough to stop this.
Block button , ban are not the answer , they will be back.
I have a few ideas how to improve few things but don't know if an email to admin will do it or just get ignored .
Or do we need to excersie some pressure together as users on a public post ?
"
Apparently this might be borderline rule break from me as it's not in the feedback forum but public .
Not intended .
So please don't reply to this on public post.
Feel free to message me though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We got most abusive messages after sending polite thanks but no thanks messages so we stopped bothering replying to people we not interested in meeting
This
This is bad that people who are polite and even wanted to reply just to say "no thanks" are forced not to reply .
All those who you report , do you get any follow up from admin on what happened after?
we didnt hear anything about the guy who threatened to kick me with a steel toe cap boot after calling me every name under the sun. we also know he had two accounts and as far as we could see both are still active
I might not be here as long as some of you didn't experience much abuse besides some keyboard gangster on the forum , but that's one person Vs a great warm welcome on here.
I have a problem with authority , especially one that is not doing the job entrusted to do
Don't get much feeling admins do enough to stop this.
Block button , ban are not the answer , they will be back.
I have a few ideas how to improve few things but don't know if an email to admin will do it or just get ignored .
Or do we need to excersie some pressure together as users on a public post ?
Apparently this might be borderline rule break from me as it's not in the feedback forum but public .
Not intended .
So please don't reply to this on public post.
Feel free to message me though. "
This isn't North Korea swingers, I'm sure it's fine |
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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago
NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts |
I got 1 yesterday that i apparently reported and blocked before and i have again but its the fact they are still here after yet more abuse from them. They said....Wtf you got my banned profile because I took a fake twitter well done you you fucking bitch slag hope you die Soon the less of you the better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab is like other such web connections it attracts some people who just want to create mayhem and effect other people's lives, sometimes in horrible ways. As been said it's not a personal attack, it obviously feels personal but possibly said to others as well, just really an attack for any connections they can make. Always report any such incidents. Mr |
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I was considering going to the police this week due to a particular user of the site, luckily I managed to get screen shots of the message and account ID before the the user was banned and messages auto deleted.
It is a real shame that on such occasions there is no feedback from Admins - I’ve got thick skin but could understand how it could really scare others. |
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"We got most abusive messages after sending polite thanks but no thanks messages so we stopped bothering replying to people we not interested in meeting
This
This is bad that people who are polite and even wanted to reply just to say "no thanks" are forced not to reply .
All those who you report , do you get any follow up from admin on what happened after?
we didnt hear anything about the guy who threatened to kick me with a steel toe cap boot after calling me every name under the sun. we also know he had two accounts and as far as we could see both are still active
I might not be here as long as some of you didn't experience much abuse besides some keyboard gangster on the forum , but that's one person Vs a great warm welcome on here.
I have a problem with authority , especially one that is not doing the job entrusted to do
Don't get much feeling admins do enough to stop this.
Block button , ban are not the answer , they will be back.
I have a few ideas how to improve few things but don't know if an email to admin will do it or just get ignored .
Or do we need to excersie some pressure together as users on a public post ?
Apparently this might be borderline rule break from me as it's not in the feedback forum but public .
Not intended .
So please don't reply to this on public post.
Feel free to message me though.
This isn't North Korea swingers, I'm sure it's fine "
If you think it's fine please post your thoughts or experience then .
I'm interested in opinions of long time users on above |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Seriously I don't know what they get for it I no it doesn't help but your not the only one just move on as said auto blocked anyway but more should be done to stop these people coming back I'd block ip address might be a start unless VPN |
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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago
NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts |
"Seriously I don't know what they get for it I no it doesn't help but your not the only one just move on as said auto blocked anyway but more should be done to stop these people coming back I'd block ip address might be a start unless VPN "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I treat folk as i wish to be treated...too many times...i get abuse..or send us your photo and we will send ours ...to get no photo at all...so many assholes on this site |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was considering going to the police this week due to a particular user of the site, luckily I managed to get screen shots of the message and account ID before the the user was banned and messages auto deleted.
It is a real shame that on such occasions there is no feedback from Admins - I’ve got thick skin but could understand how it could really scare others. "
Wow! That's bad. I've reported a fair amount of stuff/users to admin and wish there was feedback about what is done. Some of it is very scary. I had one guy trying to work out what road I live in because I rejected him which is why I've taken my area off my profile. |
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"Seriously I don't know what they get for it I no it doesn't help but your not the only one just move on as said auto blocked anyway but more should be done to stop these people coming back I'd block ip address might be a start unless VPN
"
Agree , it's a start.
Add blocking emails used to open banned accounts.
Payment details used if it was a site supporters account .
Over time it's going to limit of people going to lengths of opening new email or using another card to join again after a ban .
Does many abuse come from site supporters accounts or mainly new accounts? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We have left fab before because of the abuse and rudeness but came back with a new outlook and approach which works for us.
I answer all messages politely and any that don’t fit what we are looking for I deal with politely leaving the rest for Carol to read and reply to if she wants to thus taking all pressure away from her.
99.8% of messages are fine but just not a good fit for us and very few are abusive but if they are it’s bock the cock and forget because they are very forgetful.
Good luck and remember that you are here for you and not to just please others!!!(unless that’s your kink)
T |
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Sorry to hear you have experienced this behaviour, no one deserves to be treated with such disrespect.
Unfortunately there are a minority of Neanderthals on here who give the rest of the respectful single males a bad reputation.
Happy fabbing “ block and report “. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is the problem a lot of the time that guys aren’t very confident chatting up women in the real world. So they come to a swinging website thinking that it’s just sex with random strangers and no holds barred fun. And the truth is it’s not like that at all. You still have to be able to conduct yourself correctely and if anything it’s harder to pull because the social side of it is so important and a lot of people lack those skills. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is the problem a lot of the time that guys aren’t very confident chatting up women in the real world. So they come to a swinging website thinking that it’s just sex with random strangers and no holds barred fun. And the truth is it’s not like that at all. You still have to be able to conduct yourself correctely and if anything it’s harder to pull because the social side of it is so important and a lot of people lack those skills."
Its something I've never understood, the nasty messages. I think You've explained it perfectly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Touch wood (woof  ) the worst we received from a single guy was about 20 dic pics and a 'your loss' as a reply when it was pointed out 'you've read our profile, really really? and yet you seem to have a penis'. All others have been really polite and even some apologies.
Most of the absusive messages we have received have been from the male of a couple and sometimes both of them when Mr realises his wet dream fantasies aren't gunna become a reality with us.
T and I have a giggle over them, block and move on. It takes all sorts |
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"Is the problem a lot of the time that guys aren’t very confident chatting up women in the real world. So they come to a swinging website thinking that it’s just sex with random strangers and no holds barred fun. And the truth is it’s not like that at all. You still have to be able to conduct yourself correctely and if anything it’s harder to pull because the social side of it is so important and a lot of people lack those skills."
Some people are unable or unwilling to understand the swinging lifestyle, they seem to think it’s ok to behave in a manner from behind a key board that would be totally unacceptable in everyday life.
If they behaved the way they do on here in public they would probably be arrested or worse.
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By *inkycream OP Couple
over a year ago
manchester |
"We got most abusive messages after sending polite thanks but no thanks messages so we stopped bothering replying to people we not interested in meeting
This
This is bad that people who are polite and even wanted to reply just to say "no thanks" are forced not to reply .
All those who you report , do you get any follow up from admin on what happened after?
we didnt hear anything about the guy who threatened to kick me with a steel toe cap boot after calling me every name under the sun. we also know he had two accounts and as far as we could see both are still active"
This ones still active and on line |
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"Sad to say we’ve had guys behave like it in clubs too. "
I have witnessed this too they think because they have paid there entrance fee it’s their god given right to touch whom ever they like with out even striking up a conversation,
No comprehension of etiquette what so ever.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
After reading the forum I find it disgusting how people can get away with saying things so horrible. Any decent person wouldn’t even think of those things let alone telling someone. I hope they all get reported or blocked,it’s too easy to troll someone. Excuse my language but hopefully they’ll get bored and fuck off.had nothing but good vibes on this site |
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"Sad to say we’ve had guys behave like it in clubs too.
I have witnessed this too they think because they have paid there entrance fee it’s their god given right to touch whom ever they like with out even striking up a conversation,
No comprehension of etiquette what so ever.
"
Their entrance fee apologies |
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"I was considering going to the police this week due to a particular user of the site, luckily I managed to get screen shots of the message and account ID before the the user was banned and messages auto deleted.
It is a real shame that on such occasions there is no feedback from Admins - I’ve got thick skin but could understand how it could really scare others.
Wow! That's bad. I've reported a fair amount of stuff/users to admin and wish there was feedback about what is done. Some of it is very scary. I had one guy trying to work out what road I live in because I rejected him which is why I've taken my area off my profile. "
Same...
I’ve had my lively hood threatened, my friends have been told horrendous lies about my sexual health & my behaviour towards others regarding meets.
All because I had the decency to let them down with a polite no thanks, not for me.
Any new messages that I’ve no interest in will be deleted and blocked from now on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That is bad and no need for it. Ok no one likes rejection, but I always say, Thanks have a nice day! No need to be so rude as that. Maybe if there was a fab rating, people wouldn't act like this. |
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"I was considering going to the police this week due to a particular user of the site, luckily I managed to get screen shots of the message and account ID before the the user was banned and messages auto deleted.
It is a real shame that on such occasions there is no feedback from Admins - I’ve got thick skin but could understand how it could really scare others.
Wow! That's bad. I've reported a fair amount of stuff/users to admin and wish there was feedback about what is done. Some of it is very scary. I had one guy trying to work out what road I live in because I rejected him which is why I've taken my area off my profile.
Same...
I’ve had my lively hood threatened, my friends have been told horrendous lies about my sexual health & my behaviour towards others regarding meets.
All because I had the decency to let them down with a polite no thanks, not for me.
Any new messages that I’ve no interest in will be deleted and blocked from now on! "
Sadly that’s the norm now when you knock someone back. It’s better to just block incase of an abusive message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ive just had 1....someone with no photos asked for a photo....i said yes by all means after you.....shes was like.....im the 1 asking.....so i felt as if it was a bit of a stand off so tried to make it a bit more relaxing by having a bit banter......and the abuse started....just replied never mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Like a lot of single guys I've had my fair share of knock backs. Including messages read and deleted but I do understand just how many messages you couples and single ladies get. It can be impossible to reply to them all.
Frustrating as it is to not get a polite no thank you. I could never send an abusive message.
In fact I've enjoyed some good and humours banter after replying to a no thank you and good luck in s polite way. |
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"Ive just had 1....someone with no photos asked for a photo....i said yes by all means after you.....shes was like.....im the 1 asking.....so i felt as if it was a bit of a stand off so tried to make it a bit more relaxing by having a bit banter......and the abuse started....just replied never mind. "
Careful with those new profiles unfortunately most are not women , easy way is if you contact or get contacted is to chat , quickly you will figure out if you are chatting to a woman or a bloke.
Don't respond to demands just because you got a message from you don't know who.
|
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"Like a lot of single guys I've had my fair share of knock backs. Including messages read and deleted but I do understand just how many messages you couples and single ladies get. It can be impossible to reply to them all.
Frustrating as it is to not get a polite no thank you. I could never send an abusive message.
In fact I've enjoyed some good and humours banter after replying to a no thank you and good luck in s polite way."
Why the frustration ?
A lot of people who answered polite "no" got abuse back , so they wont reply now even if some of them wanted to because they have manners .
You have to understand their perspective .
Read+deleted=polite "no"
Read+ not deleted = hmm..maybe yes , maybe no , let's put a pin it that , come back to the profile later , undefined.
Unread is worse for me, might be a perfect message to your perfect match, but no closure , like a message in a bottle that is still in the ocean.
Also understandable as it might be covered by 100 dick pick one liners .
Don't take rejection personally , consider it an answer
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By *inkycream OP Couple
over a year ago
manchester |
"Sad to say we’ve had guys behave like it in clubs too.
I have witnessed this too they think because they have paid there entrance fee it’s their god given right to touch whom ever they like with out even striking up a conversation,
No comprehension of etiquette what so ever.
"
Yes this behaviour is common in clubs, you can normally deal with it easily and leave them red faced and cock drop |
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We also love to meet up with single guys as many will confirm, it’s just a shame that so many can spoil it on here for the good ones. We have blocked due to so many idiots and now only get to meet guys at clubs, then add them on here once we have chatted. |
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Love the way people say block and report like that just removes all memory of ever seeing the message.
We get abuse all the time but some really do hit hard.
Had a message once from a guy, his opening message was how he loved my tiny body and it was just asking to be abused.
That hit hard to know someone's first thought of me was to harm me. Really threw me off.
I'm sorry you have to deal with messages like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would say half my blocked list were abusive messages...
Some rude.. Beyond exception
Some crude.. Beyond belief
Some dam right obscene..
Block n report |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This trend is picking up again with the single guys, latest one wishing me to get HIV. To far leaves me to think only a minute percentage of guys on here are worth talking to. "
Guys like this really get my back up, they seem to think that they have a god given right to sex and dont really understand the swinging scene. Which gives all guys a bad reputation making the odds of a lady or couple chatting with you pretty slim.
Personally I think people who act like this should be blocked reported and their IP blocked from the site. |
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"Don't blame everything on the single guys.
Some women do it as well "
Totally agree can be couples and single women too. We also take great offence when we get a message telling us to make sure we reply to their message. If people can’t be nice and decent, then don’t bother replying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't blame everything on the single guys.
Some women do it as well "
Totally.. Defo not gender specific..
Reality some very horrible people in and out of fab world |
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"Don't blame everything on the single guys.
Some women do it as well
Totally.. Defo not gender specific..
Reality some very horrible people in and out of fab world "
The amount of lovely convos I’ve had with ladies...and then we swap face pics and they turn nasty  |
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