FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What does a social mean to you?
What does a social mean to you?
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So, the other day I posted asking if there were many other couples who genuinely do enjoy the social side to swinging, without the expectation of play and was really happy to see that there's actually a huge amount of people who feel the same that we do (and a huge thanks for the awesome conversations that came off the back of that).
As I mentioned then, C and I really aren't experienced swingers in terms of the number of meets we've have (though we've covered quite a few different things in those meets), and I'm just wondering what a social means to people?
Is it a few beers at a bar? Maybe some pool as a bit of a conversation starter?
Perhaps a couple has come around to your home, so what do you do to entertain them in that case? Good conversation is of course important, but what about games, hot tub and other things like that?
I'm super fortunate to have a hot tub in the garden, which seems to be a really good way to relax into the meet with a few drinks? For whatever reason it seems less awkward than sitting in the living room together, but what's your experience of socials?
The reason behind my asking really is that inexperience, and I suspect the answer is along the lines of "whatever feels right" and "whatever you'd do with vanilla friends", but I'm shamelessly hoping to draw on the experience of those who've had more chance to enjoy the social aspect.
Thanks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, a social simply means meeting with no expectation of play.
I still only have socials at clubs, though many like to have them at bars or coffee shops. |
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"For me, a social simply means meeting with no expectation of play.
I still only have socials at clubs, though many like to have them at bars or coffee shops."
Yeah, we often bump into people at clubs but are yet to arrange a proper meet there. To be honest, I don't know if we'd be able to arrange to meet at a club because we're usually wandering about or chatting to people outside so it'd perhaps be a bit unfair to the people we'd arranged to meet.
I'm not entirely sure why this is the case, but provided we've had a decent chat beforehand, I've never had a reservation about people coming round to my house, but perhaps that's not a particularly sensible approach! |
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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough |
We have socials at local pubs on Thursday nights with potential play mates. We've also set up a group social with 6 couples from our hot list that went very well. I think a social at a private residence adds a layer of pressure/possibility of things leading to play.
We also have a couple or two on here that are in the friend zone. We invite them to vanilla events. |
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"We have socials at local pubs on Thursday nights with potential play mates. We've also set up a group social with 6 couples from our hot list that went very well. I think a social at a private residence adds a layer of pressure/possibility of things leading to play.
We also have a couple or two on here that are in the friend zone. We invite them to vanilla events."
That's a fair comment actually - I absolutely don't arrange socials with an underlying aim to get anyone into bed, but inviting people over to my home may be giving that impression. Plus I'd imagine arranging a meet at a bar s out anyone who's just saying they want a social, but then pressure for more.
You did bloody well to organise that many couples in one go hah! Lining up the diary for just us and one other couple is often a nightmare  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For a social meet with another couple, we much prefer a nice pub for the evening. It's neutral ground, no implicit pressure to play afterwards, plus it's a night out, so even if the connection is not there, it can still be a fun evening out. |
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A social is when you meet someone for a coffee or a drink, or maybe a walk. Just to see if you actually get on with each other.
No expectations, so no one leaves disappointed.
Only ever had one social which turned into a "meet". Arranged to meet at a hotel bar for a coffee. She messaged me when I arrived asking me to come up to her room... |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Awkward having a social in a house because you often will end up playing. For us a social is mostly that distinction , bar, coffee shop or restaurant, drinks or dinner, tend not to get wasted as we don’t do d*unk sex and a social may lead to a play later that day/night. So just getting to know people, seeing if there’s chemistry and if there is and they are comfortable ,then flirting, seducing, even a bit of discreet touching and usually a snog at the end |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Really depends on what part of "social" your enquiring about?
It's a general term that covers everything "clothes on" really
Organised event or group socials generally means meeting somewhere for drinks or for a night out.
Introduction socials tend to be coffee or drinks any place day or night
Think that its fair to say that it's always implying that play or expectation to is off the cards and this is why most likely to be on neutral ground and in a public place
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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"We have socials at local pubs on Thursday nights with potential play mates. We've also set up a group social with 6 couples from our hot list that went very well. I think a social at a private residence adds a layer of pressure/possibility of things leading to play.
We also have a couple or two on here that are in the friend zone. We invite them to vanilla events.
That's a fair comment actually - I absolutely don't arrange socials with an underlying aim to get anyone into bed, but inviting people over to my home may be giving that impression. Plus I'd imagine arranging a meet at a bar s out anyone who's just saying they want a social, but then pressure for more.
You did bloody well to organise that many couples in one go hah! Lining up the diary for just us and one other couple is often a nightmare "
Worked months to make it happen! |
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"Awkward having a social in a house because you often will end up playing. For us a social is mostly that distinction , bar, coffee shop or restaurant, drinks or dinner, tend not to get wasted as we don’t do d*unk sex and a social may lead to a play later that day/night. So just getting to know people, seeing if there’s chemistry and if there is and they are comfortable ,then flirting, seducing, even a bit of discreet touching and usually a snog at the end"
Makes sense! It'd probably help if I wasn't useless at the flirting / being forward part. I'd have to just leave it to C to make our intentions known |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Awkward having a social in a house because you often will end up playing. For us a social is mostly that distinction , bar, coffee shop or restaurant, drinks or dinner, tend not to get wasted as we don’t do d*unk sex and a social may lead to a play later that day/night. So just getting to know people, seeing if there’s chemistry and if there is and they are comfortable ,then flirting, seducing, even a bit of discreet touching and usually a snog at the end"
I would never have a 1-1 social at my home or anyone else's either. Too easy for misread signals. |
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By *inups99Couple
over a year ago
manchester |
Bit like an interview really!!! Dress nicely to impress and be 'social'. Have a drink and a chat; talk over any funny swinging experiences, assuming you're out of earshot. Talk more generally about interests (no politics!!) and generally sus each other out!.
If it's us meeting a guy I'm thinking "would I like to see this guy fuck my wife?" and wondering what she tihinks. All open and honest. If it's a couple the dynamics are more complex - "do I/she/we/he fancy each other - honestly!"
However, no expectation to play - that comes next if you're lucky! |
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"Bit like an interview really!!! Dress nicely to impress and be 'social'. Have a drink and a chat; talk over any funny swinging experiences, assuming you're out of earshot. Talk more generally about interests (no politics!!) and generally sus each other out!.
If it's us meeting a guy I'm thinking "would I like to see this guy fuck my wife?" and wondering what she tihinks. All open and honest. If it's a couple the dynamics are more complex - "do I/she/we/he fancy each other - honestly!"
However, no expectation to play - that comes next if you're lucky!"
Hah, honestly I think I must've missed picking up that sort of sexual instinct when I was growing up because I'm useless with anything like that.
When we've bumped into people and got chatting at a club, I'm just enjoying having a laugh and a giggle. It's really rare I'm thinking about sex at the time. Reckon I'm broken
That said, on the odd occasion it does go that way, it's always then a really awesome surprise hah. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Social means trying to establish during a few hours if I want to be intimate with the guy or not.
If I don't feel like I want him to kiss me then the social doesn't get any further. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are limited with socials due to Abby being a TV. It’s not comfortable for another couple to meet with us in a public place unfortunately due to people staring and making comments.
Our socials are club based where she is welcome and no one bats an eyelid.
We’ve made some great friends that have led to private meets.
V x |
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"We are limited with socials due to Abby being a TV. It’s not comfortable for another couple to meet with us in a public place unfortunately due to people staring and making comments.
Our socials are club based where she is welcome and no one bats an eyelid.
We’ve made some great friends that have led to private meets.
V x"
I'm sorry you get grief from people outside of clubs. Narrow minded idiots!
It's awesome that swinger's clubs are so accepting in general. Everyone's free to be who they want to be, and express themselves how they please. I'm sure the rest of the world will get there eventually, but in the meantime I'm glad the clubs work well.
We've found the same actually - just getting chatting to people usually winds up with a good few laughs, and we've kept in touch with people outside of that as well. |
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By *ev_1Couple
over a year ago
Bickliegh |
A social is getting to know peeps drink chat banter and arrange something for the future if you click . Always best confirming what sort of meet you are looking for is always the best x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are limited with socials due to Abby being a TV. It’s not comfortable for another couple to meet with us in a public place unfortunately due to people staring and making comments.
Our socials are club based where she is welcome and no one bats an eyelid.
We’ve made some great friends that have led to private meets.
V x
I'm sorry you get grief from people outside of clubs. Narrow minded idiots!
It's awesome that swinger's clubs are so accepting in general. Everyone's free to be who they want to be, and express themselves how they please. I'm sure the rest of the world will get there eventually, but in the meantime I'm glad the clubs work well.
We've found the same actually - just getting chatting to people usually winds up with a good few laughs, and we've kept in touch with people outside of that as well. "
Thank you 
We normally stay at a hotel when we’re going to a club and even walking through the lobby can have its problems.
There’s so much info out there about trans but very little understanding unfortunately.
V x |
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"A social is a coffee or tea, maybe a beer or g and t etc. With no expectation of playing. It is a final check if there is chemistry after the playful flirting and chatting on here. "
That sums it up to me....!! |
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it was a drink in a pub. Strangely empty but good enough. 